Page 78 of Lust & Lies

“Thank you,” he told her.

Shaking her head, she stared at me and asked, “How are you feeling?”

“A little sore. I think the pain meds are starting to kick in, though.”

“Good. No vital organs were hit. Your side gash was deep, though. I want you to rest for at least two weeks.”

“Two weeks?” I squeaked.

“Is that a problem?” she asked.

“I’ve got things to do,” I told her.

“Not with this wound, you don’t. Have you been feeling dizzy?”

I wanted to lie, but thought better of it.

“A little,” I admitted.

“Your head gash wasn’t deep, but head injuries are never anything to play with. You will rest for two weeks, Noe.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

That would postpone my plans. But I needed to be full strength when I carried them out anyway. I didn’t want to appear weak in front of my enemies. Plus, that gave me more time to plan.

“Are they still in the area?” Aiden asked Gertrude.

“Yes. They ride past the estate every few hours. And they’ve got both ends of the road blocked off so that we can’t move her.”

I stared between the two of them.

“Who’s still in the area?” I asked as Gertrude finished up with my side dressing.

“The Watchdogs,” she replied, changing her gloves so she could check the gash on my head.

“They’re here?” I asked, thoughts going to Viper.

Aiden nodded. “Seo-Jin stops by every couple of hours to check on you.”

“Is he alone?”

“No, your team is with him,” Aiden told me. “They remain standing in the yard when they visit. Only Seo-Jin is allowed to come to the door. And that’s only because Gertrude considers him an ally. None of them are allowed inside. Sorry, I don’t trust any of them right now.”

I smiled at my savage, loving the way he protected me.

“They know you lost your memory,” Gertrude told me. “But they don’t know it has returned.”

“Good,” I nodded.

It was time to tell them about Viper and Scope.

“Oh, and Seo-Jin has asked me twice if you’ve had time to watch the secure video he sent you weeks ago,” Gertrude told me.

The secure video?

“Oh, damn,” I said. “There were two videos in my file. I watched the one you sent, but not the other. I need my laptop,” I told them. “My work laptop.”

Gertrude and I looked to Aiden.

“You just assume I’ve got it,” he said, staring from her to me.

“I also need my phone,” I told him, knowing he had to have my stuff.

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, wincing as he sat up. “It’s locked up in my office. Be right back.”

“Move slowly,” I told him. “You’re still wounded.”

“I will, love.”

I watched him limp out of the room.

Once the door closed behind him, I asked Gertrude, “Are you sure he’s fine? He wasn’t bruised too badly, was he?”

“Ain’t nothing wrong with that boy. He’s faking it. The knife barely grazed him. He’s a little bruised, but nothing serious. He insisted I bandage him up. He’s using his health as an excuse to stay in bed with you and to avoid his grandfather’s calls.”

“Any movements from Mr. Park?” I asked.

“Not yet. He’s been holed up at the Park Mansion ever since you were declared dead. He never truly believed you’d died. The last time you and I talked, before you lost your memory, you mentioned him being behind the leaks. Did you tell that to Aiden?”

“I did. He wants Mr. Park to step down as leader of the family, the watchdogs, and from his role in the corporation.”

“What do you want?” Gertrude asked.

I wanted to feel his blood on my hands. I wanted to strangle the life out of him. I wanted to carve my name, Noelani, into his chest and then slit his throat.

“I want...” I paused. “I want all of this to be over so I can be with Aiden,” I told her. “That’s what I want more than anything else.”

She smiled at me. “When Layla died, I wanted to kill Mr. Park. He was the one who’d sent us on that mission.

Why did our loved ones have to pay the price for his orders?

If anything, his bloodline should’ve paid the price, not ours.

It was your father and Sam who told me to calm down.

They told me that now wasn’t the time to go after Mr. Park.

And Sam told me that I couldn’t hold on to that kind of bitterness and anger because it would eat me alive. ”

It sure would. I felt like it had been eating away at me for years.

“Sam reminded me that we had contracts to fulfill and that we also had you and Ellie to take care of because your father couldn’t do it on his own.

Of course, Ellie would rather be with Ji-An than us, but we still had you.

I let go of my revenge so that I could be free to love and protect you.

Sometimes we have to let love override our hate.

I said all that to say, if you want to let go of your anger in order to love Aiden the way you want to love him, no one will fault you for that, sweetie.

You deserve all the love and happiness in the world.

But true happiness can’t reside in a heart that’s filled with hatred. ”

“Letting go of this kind of hatred is hard,” I told her. “I want to do what’s best for Aiden. But I feel like I’m cheating myself if I don’t act on this anger.”

“There’s nothing wrong with feeling like that.

I lost my daughter and had to stare that man in the face for years after her death.

I hate him with everything in me. And then seeing you suffer under him only made me hate him more.

I’ve suppressed that hatred for years, and I’m ready to see that man suffer.

But whatever you decide, I’m okay with it.

Just know this: losing his power, losing his control over you all, that will hurt him more than death. ”

“What do you mean?”

“There’s no pain in death. There’s pain in living.

Making him live with that kind of pain is a great way to get your revenge.

Letting him know that all of you are living your lives according to your own wants and desires, oh, that will eat him alive.

That’s a fate worse than death for a man like him. ”

She was right. Death would be too kind for a man like him.

Even if I tried torturing him, his old heart might give out before I got far.

Keeping him alive, allowing him to see us loving who we wanted to love, and thriving, that would make him wish he were dead.

I reached for Gertrude’s hand, patting it, wishing her daughter were here to do this for her.

“Thank you,” I told her. “You always know what to say to calm me down and make me think things through carefully.”

“Your mother was that person for me back in the day. I’m glad I get to be that for her daughter. She would be proud of you, Noelani.”

I blinked back tears. “Layla would be proud of you, too. I’m sure she knew just how wonderful her mother was. You’re the best, Gertrude.”

A tear streamed down Gertrude's cheek. “Thank you, sweetie.”

I continued holding her hand. I wouldn’t tell her that one of the ways Mr. Park had manipulated me was by threatening her and Sam’s lives. She was shouldering enough guilt. I wouldn’t add to it.

All I wanted was for her to be happy. She and her husband deserved it. We looked toward the door when it opened. Aiden stepped in, holding a small duffel bag that I recognized as mine. It had been here this entire time.

“All of your electronic devices that I took from your place are in here,” Aiden told me, no longer limping.

I held in my chuckle. I guess he forgot he was supposed to be faking it. I sat up straighter, ignoring the way my side throbbed.

“Thanks,” I said, opening the bag as he slid back into bed.

I pulled my laptop out. Gertrude plugged it in for me as I opened the device and logged in. It was amazing how passwords came easily to me now. The brain fog from before was gone. I could still hardly believe it had been there in the first place.

“Time to see what Seo-Jin wanted me to know,” I told them.

I clicked on the secure file. With Aiden in bed next to me and Gertrude standing beside me, I watched the video, hoping Seo-Jin had some updates for me. I was shocked by how much information he actually had.

This was... interesting.