Page 76 of Lust & Lies

“Because of me?” I asked. “How did I teach you all how to love?”

“If you hadn’t lived with us, hadn’t grown up with us, we probably would’ve become rivals. At least, Tristan and I would have. Ethan would’ve become withdrawn and felt left out. Probably would’ve turned to drugs and become homeless.”

I burst out laughing. “Don’t do Ethan like that.”

“I’m kidding. Kind of. But Tristan and I would’ve fought over the business and who would be in control.

Because of you, we learned to share. He’s the oldest, so I respect him as the head of the corporation.

Plus, he’s good at what he does. He knows I’m good at managing the boutique hotels, so he leaves that to me.

But if you hadn’t been in our lives, I think we would’ve fought over who inherited what.

With you there, whenever we got into an argument, you called us out on not acting like brothers. ”

I laughed. “Oh, yeah. I remember that.”

“You once yelled at us for getting into a fist fight. I know my grandfather saw us fighting, but he didn’t stop us.

He was probably watching to see which of us would be the victor, which of us deserved the right to be a Park.

You didn’t sit back and watch, though. You jumped in.

You hit Tristan and me with a bat on our arms, forcing us apart.

Then you stood there, staring up at us with your hands on your hips, and told us that brothers weren’t supposed to hurt each other.

You told us we needed to get along better, that we were lucky to have siblings, and that we needed to act like it. ”

“I was so wise back then,” I bragged, lowering my head to his chest once more.

“Wise and violent.”

“Shut up,” I teased, poking his rib.

“It was then that we realized just how lonely you had to feel without your sister. Your father had died. You and Ellie didn’t get along.

And all we did was fight over the dumbest things around you.

Yet, you never complained. Never tried to fight Ellie, no matter how rude she was.

You never yelled at Ethan for following you around everywhere.

I think it was then that Tristan and I became extremely protective of you.

And we fought less after that. We did our best to keep Ellie away from you when she visited our estate. Protecting you taught us how to love.”

“You all were great brothers to me.”

“They were great brothers to you. I never treated you like a sister.”

“Never?”

“Not once. I still remember the first day you moved in. I couldn’t stop staring at you.”

“But I had my hair cut like a boy, and I was dressed in baggy clothes. I wasn’t much to look at.”

“Even then, you were the prettiest girl I’d ever seen.”

He really wanted to make me cry, didn’t he? I blinked back tears as I thought of the day I’d moved into their estate. Aiden had indeed kept staring at me. I’d threatened to beat him up if he didn’t keep his eyes to himself.

At the time, I’d thought he was looking at me because of my hairstyle and my clothes. Turns out, he was smitten already.

“Noe,” Aiden started, then paused.

I waited, not wanting to rush whatever it was he needed to say.

“The main reason I wanted to take you away from everything was so you could have space to figure out who you were or who you wanted to be. But once I had you here, I realized I was trying to make you into who I wanted you to be. And that’s mine.

I feared your memory returning and you leaving me because you no longer wanted anything to do with me or my family.

I feared you’d want to go off on your own to figure out who you wanted to be.

I feared you’d look at me and think I was no different than my grandfather.

And in a way, I guess I’m not any different than. ..”

“Stop,” I told him, unwilling to let him carry guilt that did not belong to him.

Been there, done that, wouldn’t let Aiden do it.

“Your grandfather has hurt and traumatized all of us enough. Don’t you dare let him back into our relationship by comparing yourself to him.”

“Just listen to me, Noe. Even Tristan called me out on...”

“Tristan can’t call anyone out on anything after the way he did that woman he claimed to love.

At least you fought for me. He let go so easily that I wondered if he loved her at all.

When it comes to love, Tristan is not the person you should be listening to.

And when it comes to our love, you did nothing wrong, Aiden. ”

“You only think that way because you’re like me, and we’re used to doing things the way we were raised. That doesn’t make it right. I was wrong.”

“You protected me,” I whispered. “How could that be wrong?”

“The way I went about it was wrong, Noe.”

“The only thing I think you did wrong was telling me my name was Noelle. You know how much I hate her. But you couldn’t tell me I was Noa because you’d faked that identity's death to protect me from your grandfather. So I get why Noelle was your last resort, especially considering we’re twins and she was about to take on a new identity to flee with her boyfriend.

Her name was up for the taking, and who better to use it than me?

Trust me, I understand. And the wedding photo has already been explained.

You had us Photoshopped onto a picture you found online.

Those two things are truly the only things that bothered me in your whole plan.

And now they don’t. I don’t blame you for how you handled things.

You’re the reason I’m alive and well right now, Aiden. ”

“You make me sound like some noble saint, which I’m not. Protecting you from grandpa wasn’t the only reason I lied and kept you here. I’m a selfish man, Noe... just like him. I’m obsessed with you, like him. I don’t want to let you go. Like him.”

“Will you kill me or try to get rid of me if I decide not to be with you?” I asked.

“Of course, not,” he said, meeting my gaze. “I would never hurt you.”

“Then you’re nothing like him,” I told Aiden.

“I wouldn’t hurt you, but I also wouldn’t let you leave me. See, I’m no better than he is.”

“I admit, the way he’s raised us has influenced us and shaped our personalities somewhat.

And yes, it’ll take time for us to shed his influence and learn how to love in a healthy and normal fashion.

We may even need to see a therapist to unpack all this trauma we didn’t even realize we had.

But I refuse to let you feel bad for wanting me back.

I see nothing wrong with that. I had every intention of coming for you as soon as my contract was over.

And if I had to kidnap your ass to get you, I would’ve. ”

“You would’ve kidnapped me?” he asked, smiling.

“Yes. I would’ve snatched your ass up and beat Ellie’s ass if she tried to stop me.”

Was this guy blushing? Was he excited by the idea of me kidnapping him? I swear there was something wrong with us. But damn it, I loved the way we loved each other. The obsession. The possessiveness. I had no complaints.

“Would you have tied me up and shoved me in your back seat?” he asked.

“No, I would’ve put you in the trunk,” I teased.

“Trunks are nice too. They’re spacious with plenty of leg room. I would’ve been okay with that. Feel free to kidnap me anytime you like, beautiful.”

“Remember you said that,” I told him, wondering if I should reveal what my entire plan had been for him once my contract ended. If I told him that now, he’d definitely think I was toxic.

“Trust me, you have my permission, love,” he told me. “You can do whatever you want to me.”

Keeping my plan to myself for now, I snuggled closer to him.

“On a serious note,” he started. “If you ever feel like I’m smothering you or being too intense, tell me.”

I wanted to be smothered with his love. Bring on the intensity, I could handle it. Randomly kidnap me on a Tuesday as foreplay. Handcuff me to you while we shower. I was down with all that.

I loved how obsessed he was with me. Hell, I was just as obsessed with him. He was everything to me. And I would do anything to keep him in my life. But that wasn’t what he needed from me right now.

Right now, he needed to know I’d tell him if his love ever became too much, instead of bottling it up and leaving him. He just wanted me to be honest when something felt off. He wanted a sense of security.

Men needed that just as much as women did. I could do that for him. I owed him that. He deserved it.

“Okay, Aiden. If I ever start to feel pressured or overwhelmed by your love, I’ll tell you to tone it down a bit.”

“Thank you, baby.”

“You’re welcome, Oppa.”

I noted the blush in his cheeks when I said that. This man was so damn adorable. But then his smile faded, and I hated to see it go. The conversation was about to change. I prepared myself for the direction I knew it was headed in.

“My grandpa has to be handled,” Aiden stated.

I wanted to speak, but held my tongue. I hadn’t told him yet that I wanted to kill Mr. Park. How could I tell the man I loved that I wanted to kill his grandfather? How could I want to kill the grandfather of the man I loved?

“I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted him dead,” he continued. “Especially if he’s the one behind the leaks and attempts on your life.”

I sensed a but in there somewhere. If he asked me to, would I really be able to let go of my plans for Mr. Park? I don’t know. I needed that man to suffer the way he’d made me suffer. He deserved my wrath.

Call me petty or vindictive, but I wouldn’t be able to let this anger go until I’d had my revenge. I’d lost so much because of Mr. Park. He needed to lose something because of me. I wanted him to lose his life. Was that too much to ask for?

“But...” Aiden started.

And there it was. A sliver of anger and frustration threaded through me as I waited to hear what he had to say. We’d only just gotten back together, and I had a feeling we were about to have another disagreement.