Page 43 of Lust & Lies

But back then, I’d been ready to kill him. Grandfather too. As for Ellie... I was still considering ending her life.

“But, brother, though I understand why you’re doing this, I also know if things go south this time, it’s Noe who’ll be hurt again. It’s Noe who’ll suffer again.”

“I know,” I agreed, tears stinging my eyes.

“No. You don’t know. You don’t know because all you’re thinking about is getting her back and making her happy.

But this could go bad, Aiden. Real bad. Back then, what happened damn near broke her.

This could really destroy her, brother. You’re playing with fire.

And I think you’re too blinded by love and your goals to see how close the flames are to you and Noe. ”

“Fuck!” I wiped at my eyes and stared down at my desk, guilt strumming through me.

“I know this is a lot on you, so that’s all I’m going to say tonight.

This call was just to let you know I’ve got my guys monitoring grandfather and his movements.

So far, I know he’s desperate to find out what really went down at that warehouse.

He clearly doesn’t believe the story you’ve spun.

He’s also upset because he hasn’t been able to reach Ellie.

I told him she must be grieving Noe’s death and doesn’t want to talk yet.

He’ll only buy that for so long. The next step is to make him believe she hates him and blames him for Noe’s death, right? ”

“Right. But if she contacts him on her own, let me know. I don’t trust her to keep her promise to avoid him and Noe.”

I had no problem killing her if she broke that promise. Her death would be another secret I kept from Noe. I ignored the shame that thought brought me.

“I'll let you know if she makes any moves,” Tristan told me. “Keep me updated about things on your end. And if you need me for anything, let me know. Wait. Does Ethan know what’s going on with the watchdogs?”

“Hell no!”

“Good. You don’t need him interfering and trying to show up at the estate to help protect Noe, unknowingly leading grandfather to you.”

“True.”

“Okay, brother. Get some rest. I’ve got a feeling you’re going to need it. Talk with you later.”

“Bye.” I clicked to end the video call and closed the laptop.

I sighed, shoulders sagging as I stared at the far wall. Things were unraveling at the seams. I needed to get a hold of it. I couldn’t let my grandfather win... again. I wouldn’t let him take Noe from me.

Leaning back in my seat, I closed my eyes. I felt like the weight of the world was resting on my chest, on my heart. Today had taken an unexpected turn. It also showed me that I’d gotten too comfortable here.

I had to keep my guard up. The old man’s watchdogs were relentless and ruthless. But they wouldn’t be as cruel as they usually were, considering it was me and one of their own they were going after.

Then again, Noe had enemies among their ranks. If they learned she was alive, they may use this as an opportunity to get rid of her. I couldn’t let that happen. I had to protect her from them without letting her know she was in danger.

Fuck! I thought we’d have more time. But time wasn’t guaranteed to anyone. My gaze moved to the clock. Noe had to be in bed by now. I’d left her alone all evening to handle this shit. I needed to return to her.

Rising from my seat, I left my office and headed to the guest room to see if she was there. I stepped into the bedroom and closed the door behind me. I found Noe already in bed, the cover pulled up to her head with the soft glow of the lamp illuminating her form.

I smiled. She still didn’t like sleeping in complete darkness when she was alone. I stood there for a moment, staring at her body curled near the edge of the mattress, facing away from my side of the bed.

My chest tightened. She looked so small, curled up like that. Her size often fooled others. Not me. I knew what she was capable of. Even so, I still felt the overwhelming urge to protect her, to shield her from all danger.

I wouldn’t let anyone touch her. Noe was mine. I’d keep her safe. I’d hoped we could stay like this forever. Hoped the outside world would stay the hell away. But stolen peace wasn’t made to last.

Crossing the room, I crouched in front of her. I wanted to pull the blanket down and look at her. I needed to see her face, just to remind myself why I was doing all this. Seeing her would give me the energy to continue.

But I didn’t want to wake her. So I crouched there, silent, still, watching the comforter slowly rise and fall as she slept. I placed my hand on top of the comforter, on her shoulder, comforted by the rise and fall of her breathing.

She was with me. She was alive and well. But for how long? Was my brother right? Was my love for her going to put her in unnecessary danger? Had I not covered my tracks well? Was my cover story not believable?

Would my grandfather find her and make her complete her watchdog contract? Would he try to force her to marry Seo-Jin, claiming it’s what her father would’ve wanted? Fuck that! I needed to leave the country. But I needed a valid excuse to give her.

I was keeping so much from her already. This excuse would be another lie on top of all the ones I’d already told her. The guilt of my secrets gnawed at me. How the hell was I going to tell her we needed to leave the country for a while?

I could tell her we were going on a trip, a romantic getaway. I could use this as a chance to renew our vows, but get married for real. Damn it. I lowered my head to the bed. I was so damn tired of lying to her, of coming up with cover stories.

She deserved better than to have me dancing around the truth. I’d built this pretty little world for her and filled it with roses, fairy tales, and sweet half-truths, hoping that maybe, just maybe, it would be enough to keep her here with me.

But it wasn’t enough. Not anymore. Every time she smiled at me, guilt hummed through me. Every time she reached for me, I wondered if she’d still reach for me if she had her memory back.

Right now, she trusted and loved me. Tomorrow, all of that could change. My love for her outweighed the guilt, but I couldn’t keep this up. Danger was closing in on us. She needed to know the truth so she could understand the dangers lurking around us.

So she could be on guard in case something happened and I failed to protect her. For her safety, I had to sit her down and tell her everything. Every detail. Every lie. Every scheme. I had to tell her that this new life I’d given her was built on lies.

That it was all meant to keep her here, to keep her with me. I had to explain it all to her and hope she’d forgive me. Whether she forgave me or not, we had to leave here. Grandfather’s dogs were sniffing too close.

When I revealed the truth to her, she would hate me for a while. She’d yell. Maybe try to kill me. Whatever she did, however she reacted, I could take it. She could throw things. Curse me. Hit me. Stab me. The only thing she couldn’t do was leave me.

I sighed again. The lying had to stop. I was done. I’d tell her everything tomorrow over breakfast, right after I hid the knives and other sharp objects. Decision made, I rose and moved toward the bathroom to take a shower, hoping it would calm my mind and my heart.

Yet, there would be no calm mind or heart until I figured out how the hell I was going to tell my wife that I wasn’t really her husband.