Page 44 of Lust & Lies

NOELLE

I OPENED MY EYES THE second I heard the bathroom door close. He was gone. Relief washed over me. I’d been worried that he would try to pull the covers back and check to see if I was really asleep.

Or worse, try to wake me up so we could talk or something. I didn’t want to face him right now. I remained lying there, cover pulled over my head, listening to the sounds coming from the bathroom, dreading the moment he climbed into bed.

He must’ve speed-washed because he wasn’t in the shower for long. My body tensed when I heard the doorknob turn. He was coming. I listened as he moved around the room. Even mad at him, I still had the urge to sneak a peek at his naked form.

I couldn’t believe he’d used all that cock to cheat on me. Who was she, the bitch he’d slept with? Had she choked on his cock like I had? Did she suck it better than me, ride it better than me? I doubted it.

Since he wanted to share his community dick, I should cut it off so his hoes could pass it around easier. I squeezed my eyes shut and reigned in my anger. I couldn’t be mad at the woman or women he’d screwed.

They didn’t owe me any loyalty. My husband did. No one forced him to stick his cock where it shouldn’t be. He’d made that decision himself. Yet, he was walking around here pretending he was in love with me, loyal to me.

I think that was what hurt the most, the fact that he was using my condition to lie to me. Tears stung my eyes. Fuck them tears. I wasn’t crying over Aiden Park ever again. I took a few deep breaths and released them slowly, quietly.

I couldn’t crash out just yet. I didn’t have all the facts yet. All I had were bits and pieces. Memory fragments. I needed to stop getting all worked up and save that energy for when I was certain of the truth.

I heard the rustle of fabric as he slid his clothing on. I kept my eyes shut and breaths even as the mattress dipped behind me. He eased in slowly, careful not to wake me. How sweet! How thoughtful!

Not!

Aiden inched closer to me. I pressed my lips together, resisting the urge to yawn because that would give me away. When his arm slid around my waist, pulling me back against his chest, those irritating ass butterflies began flitting around in my belly.

Clearly, my body hadn’t gotten the memo that we were mad at him. Neither had my pussy. Calm down, girl. We don’t do community dick. I almost lost it when he snuggled up against me and pressed a kiss to my shoulder.

If he tried to wake me up for sex, I would lose my fucking mind. Luckily, he relaxed, behind me, spooning me, holding me close.

“Good night, my heart,” he whispered.

Damn it! I would not cry. I would not let a few sweet words weaken my resolve. But God, I loved this man and didn’t want to lose him. I remained still, faking my sleep as I listened to the sound of his breathing.

Being in his warm embrace made it hard for me to keep my eyes open. I suppressed another yawn as my eyes drifted shut. I fell asleep wrapped in the arms of a man who’d once made me cry. But even in my sleep, I couldn’t escape him. He haunted my dreams.

In this dream, I was back to seeing things through my own eyes instead of watching from the sidelines like I’d done in my previous dream. In that dream, my focus had only been on me, and I couldn’t see the person I was speaking to.

Probably because my mind had wanted to show me just how much pain I’d been in because of Aiden. In this dream, I couldn’t see myself, but I could see everything around me, and unlike that last dream, this time I could feel the pain Dream-Me was experiencing.

Aiden and I were in the middle of an argument, voices echoing down a hallway I didn’t recognize. My heart thundered in my chest as I spun away from him, storming off, done listening to his bullshit.

But then he grabbed my arm and yanked me back around. I glared at him, chest rising and falling rapidly, hands trembling, wondering who the hell he thought he was to be pulling me around like that.

I was angry enough to kill, but I was trying my best not to. My gaze locked with his. His eyes were red-rimmed, shimmering with unshed tears, and guilt was etched into his expression. Seeing that didn’t bother me one bit.

Fuck his tears. I was the one who should be crying.

But I wouldn’t, not here, not in front of him.

I’d wait until I got home and cried. He didn’t deserve to see me break.

Didn’t deserve to witness just how much he’d hurt me.

And he had indeed done that. Only he could make me feel this kind of pain. Never again.

“It’s not what it looks like. I swear,” Aiden said, following behind me as I turned to walk away again.

I stopped and glared at his lying, shirtless ass. “What the fuck do you mean it’s not what it looks like? I’m not blind. I saw you in bed with her. I saw her snuggled up against you.”

“I know what it looked like. But it’s not what it seems.”

“Your dumb ass didn’t just trip and fall into her pussy, Aiden.”

He flinched. “Baby, I swear, I don’t even know how she got in. I was drunk. I... I was upset...”

“Upset with me, right? Because I expressed doubts about leaving the country with you?”

“I admit I was upset about that,” he stated. “But...”

“So upset that you cheated,” I yelled before he could finish his sentence.

“I show doubt, and you cheat. Is that how this relationship works? That’s some bullshit.

I agreed to marry you. I agreed to run away with you to the country estate.

But now you want me to leave the damn country without knowing when I’ll be able to return.

You don’t even have a plan. You just want me to pack up and leave. ”

“Yes,” he yelled. “That’s exactly what I want. You know you can trust me. I’ll make sure everything is ready in time. But you won’t believe in me. You said you’d disappear with me. You said...”

“I know what I said. But I didn’t expect this.

I didn’t expect you to want me to leave the country.

That’s a big move. Why can’t I take a moment to think about that?

Why can’t I express a single fucking concern with this massive change to my life?

Just because I wanted time to think doesn’t mean you get a hall pass to screw whoever comes knocking. ”

“Noe, listen to me. That’s not what happened.”

“Okay. Then tell me what happened.” I folded my arms over my chest and waited.

“I... I don’t remember everything from last night. Not clearly and...”

“Let me help you out then,” I snapped. “We argued. I left. You let her in. Then somehow, you two ended up in bed together. I should kill her. And you. But I don’t want your filthy blood on my hands.

And grandpa would have a fit if I took the life of his precious grandson and the woman he’s always wanted his grandson to marry.

Since you were trying to replace me, go ahead.

Keep the bitch. And since she wants you so badly, she can have my leftovers.

Grandpa should be happy now. Since I can no longer escape my contract with him, I’ll fulfill it.

But that doesn’t mean I have to endure the two of you.

I don’t want to see either of you again.

” My voice dropped to a whisper. “Because if I do... I might forget that I don’t plan to kill you and torture the fuck out of you both.

And you know damn well that’s what I’m best at.

It’s over between us, Aiden Park. Stay the fuck out of my sight. ”

I turned to leave again.

“Please, Noe. You know I would never betray you. You are my life. You’re the reason I breathe.”

I spun around. “So why, when I show up to apologize for snapping, to apologize for expressing doubt about leaving the country, to come to you and let you know I was willing to go, I found you here with another woman in your bed? You seem to be breathing just fine to me. I guess you have a new reason to breathe.”

“Noe... I....”

“Fuck off, Aiden Park.” I slid the ring off my finger and threw it at him.

“Give this piece of shit to her since she wants it so badly. Let her be Mrs. Park. I no longer want the position. I no longer want to be your wife. We can’t even be friends now.

I’ve never hated anyone the way I hate you right now. ”

The dream ended abruptly, and I woke up soaked in sweat, heart racing, shirt clinging to my skin. Aiden’s arm was still wrapped around me. And he was sound asleep. My stomach turned. I pushed his hand away from me. The act caused him to stir in his sleep.

Thankfully, he turned over. I didn’t look back. I remained still, holding my breath as I stared at the far wall. I’d said I wanted to remember everything. But who knew remembering could hurt this bad? I wouldn’t cry. Not again. Not for him.

Fuck you, Aiden Park.

I swallowed back my tears, afraid to close my eyes, afraid I’d see more of our past, more of the pain. I stayed up as long as I could, lying there, listening to the light snores of the man who’d broken my heart once.

Murderous thoughts danced through my head as I tried to stay awake. I thought of all the ways I could kill him. I could straddle him, using my weight to hold him down as I smothered him with a pillow. Then I could use his remains to fertilize my garden.

I could turn over, wrap the sheet around his throat, position my knees against his back to brace myself, then strangle him to death. Or I could sneak downstairs, grab a knife, come back up, and slit his throat.

Oh, and then cut off his community dick and mail it to whoever the bitch was he’d fucked with a note pinned to it that read, “You’re next, hoe.” But no matter how hard I tried to fight it, sleep came anyway.

And with it... more dreams of Aiden. Dreams of better days, happier times between us. Days filled with laughter, soft touches, and seductive smiles. But even those dreams felt cruel now that I’d remembered our darker days.

Now, even the happier dreams felt like a cruel nightmare I wanted to awake from. The next morning, when I did finally escape a sweet dream, a sweet memory of me and Aiden, he was already up, sitting there, staring down at me.

How long had he been watching me sleep? And why did it feel like a violation instead of something romantic?

“Good morning,” he greeted.

I didn’t reply. When he leaned in to kiss me, I turned my head to the side.

“I have morning breath,” I stated, unable to pretend I wanted to kiss this man. “I need to get up and wash my face and brush my teeth.”

“I’ll cook us some breakfast while you do that. What would you like to eat?”

“Can we go out for breakfast?” I asked for his safety.

If we ate in for the discussion we were about to have, I may end up slitting his throat. If we went out, he had a better chance of surviving. Plus, I wanted to see if he’d actually take me out of this house.

If he didn’t, that would let me know that this beautiful house was nothing more than a pretty cage he’d trapped me in with sweet lies. I stared up at him, awaiting his response.

“Are you sure you want to go out?” he asked after a moment of hesitation.

“I’m positive.”

With a nod, he said, “Okay. Let’s go out for breakfast.”

That caught me off guard. “You sure?”

“Yeah. Get dressed. I just need to make a phone call real quick.”

Oh, really? “More work?” I asked.

“Yeah. There’s a problem at work, but my people are handling it. I just need to check in with them before we head out.”

He pressed a quick kiss to my forehead, then climbed out of bed, grabbed his phone from the nightstand, and walked out of the room without another word. I watched him leave as anger and confusion swirled through me.

Why was he always shirtless? All those shirts in that damn closet, and he couldn’t bother to put one on. I sighed. Even with the storm of emotions twisting inside me like a tornado of rage, I still couldn’t help but notice how good he looked walking away.

Broad shoulders. Defined muscles. Sexy stride.

This man was a walking aphrodisiac. I would hate to have to kill his sexy ass. Ugh! Why did I keep thinking about murder and ways to commit it? What the hell was wrong with me? My thoughts drifted back to that day in the kitchen.

The day I first saw Dolores. The day I plotted how to kill her. I’d gotten so riled up because of that dark moment. But Aiden had calmed me down by giving me an explanation for why I’d reacted that way.

And, at the time, it made sense. However, now I wasn’t sure if that hadn’t been one of his lies, too. Who was I really? And who was Aiden Park? I had so many questions and not enough answers.

But I was determined to get some today. Today, if Aiden couldn’t answer my questions with proof to back up his answers, then I would leave him. I closed my eyes, ignoring the ache that thought brought me.

Stupid, Noe. How can you still feel this deeply for someone like him?

But what if it was really a misunderstanding? What if the man I’d fallen in love with out here on this country estate was the real Aiden, not the one from my nightmares? What if those were the false memories Dr. Mercer warned me about?

I swallowed back my tears. That’s why this conversation was so important. I needed answers. No matter how harsh or painful it ended up being, I needed the truth before I completely lost my damn mind.

Pushing my feelings aside, I climbed out of bed and headed to the bathroom. I froze with my hand wrapped around the doorknob, eyes widening as a memory from last night filtered into my thoughts.

In the dream, I’d mentioned Aiden’s grandfather and fulfilling a contract. What type of contract could I possibly have with my husband's grandfather? If I asked Aiden about it, there was a chance he’d give me another one of his BS answers.

Maybe I needed to find the old man and ask him myself.