Page 9

Tenzin

“ T his place is amazing,” I told Gwen, as she dragged me through the massive food hall at Hardwicks. It was a bit like a luxury indoor food market, with everyone having a permanent stall.

They had so many things, from fresh baked bread, to imported chocolates, to fancy cheese. There were also sandwiches, hot foods, salads, and so many other things.

We passed a bunch of roast chickens and I turned to her. “Do you have dinner covered?”

“I’ll get dinner at the rink.” There was something about her expression, the wistful way she gazed at things…

“Do you want a treat for later?” I worried about her not eating enough, given the calories she expended playing hockey with the children all day. The dinner options at the rink were pizza, hot dogs, fries, and nachos.

Her head ducked. Yes, she wanted something.

“What do you want? We can always split it?” I offered, trying to determine the root of her hesitancy.

Gwen bit her lower lip. “Maybe?”

We ended up with some fancy trail mix, tiny packets of nut butter, gourmet crackers, and sour candies. Not dinner, but a start.

I passed a case of truffles. Oh. I should get a raspberry one.

No. I stopped myself, my heart speeding a little.

“Are you okay, Tens?” Gwen stood close to me, there was worry in her soft minty scent.

“I… I was about to get some for Morgan. But there’s no Morgan.” My voice shook a little. “She loved dark chocolate raspberry truffles. I’d always pick some up for her when I was traveling, or even just out. She’s a med student and always could use a treat.”

“Want to tell me about it?” Gwen offered as we left the food hall.

“There’s not much to tell. I met Morgan at the noodle shop where I often picked up food. She liked to study there. We started talking and began dating. Last year she moved in. It was so nice coming home to someone. Also, she’s so busy with med school and her rotations that it was hard to see her during the season, given my own schedule.” We’d had a lot in common, too, like a love of nature.

We wandered through the next section, which was all holiday decorations–for every holiday.

“Were you going to marry her–or mate her? Was she an omega?” Gwen picked up a bear in a pumpkin outfit, then set it down.

“Beta. We’d talked about mating after she finished medical school, and starting a pack and a family. But later, because her career is important to her. I did my best to support her. It was a surprise when she told me she was pregnant and wanted to keep the baby and join a pack.” I grimaced, because the idea of being a dad overjoyed me.

Gwen sucked in a breath as we wandered out of the holiday section and into an area full of gift books and other such things. “It wasn’t your baby.”

“The Lewises were the first friends I made when I moved to Portland to be a Sasquatch.” I picked up a book of nature photos and leafed through it. “Jacen was my real estate agent. He helped me rent my first place, then buy my house. He invited me over for dinner and his throuple adopted me. His alpha is a doctor. Their omega is an interior decorator. I was over all the time, and they adored Morgan. Jacen was one of my best friends.”

I sighed and closed the book. At least I had Cooter.

“Oh no.” Gwen looked stricken.

“Morgan loved decorating, so when she moved in, I hired their omega and the two of them became close. I’m gone so much during the season, it was a relief that she had more than the dog for company, though her studies kept her busy.” I leaned against the bookcase.

“You have a dog?” Gwen brightened. “We had a dog when I was a kid.”

“She took the dog.” My head bowed. “I can’t care for a dog with my schedule. Turns out, while I was on the road, she was growing very close to the Lewises. She let me think the baby was mine. I was excited, and planned a romantic trip where we could mate, and a party for us after. Then, Jacen and Ilya, their alpha, ambushed me, asking for us to form a pack with them. That it would be best for Morgan to have support, and their omega, who’s also pregnant, could have company. I was ready to accept. They were my dearest friends outside Coot. Jacen let it slip that the baby was his and the whole story came tumbling out.

“It started out innocently enough. Their omega went into heat unexpectedly. Morgan was over and got swept up into it. Instead of them talking to me about it, they kept it a secret—and continued their relationship. The four of them kept up the pretense with me that they were just friends, and Morgan continued to make me think I was enough for her.” That was the rub–the lies.

“Tens. I… I’m so sorry,” Gwen put a hand on my arm.

“Morgan confirmed it was true. She was lonely, and they were there for her. Though, she also insisted she needed me.” I walked through the store, not knowing where I was going.

“So, she was like, whoops, I fell on his dick and got preggers. Let’s move in with them and raise the baby together ?” Gwen trotted to keep up with my longer stride.

“Pretty much. The fact I didn’t want that baffled Morgan.” My throat grew tight. “I felt betrayed, and they told me it was wrong for me to feel that way. I thought about it for weeks. In the end, I just couldn’t get over the lies. Now I’m here. She and the dog moved in with them.”

We were now in the home section, full of pillows and blankets.

Gwen had tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry. Your best friends, too. Your feelings are valid.”

“If they’d come to me, been open, I would have been for it. Instead, they lied. I hate liars.” I grimaced again, my voice going sharp with pain and anguish.

Gwen jumped, dropping a purple pillow shaped like a heart.

“Hey, it’s okay,” I soothed, putting out calming pheromones, even though it was a bit of an overstep.

I was probably triggering her, given her ex’s lies. Picking up the pillow, I gave it back.

“As long as you’re not living a double life, you’re fine,” I joked. Morgan had been. A life with me when I was home and a life with them when I was on the road.

Gwen’s head bowed as she held the pillow to her chest, shivering as she took in a breath. “I’m not living a double life. But I left a life behind after my mom died. My dads are assholes who didn’t like me playing hockey.”

I wanted to bundle her in my arms and hold her. But I wasn’t sure she’d accept my touch so soon. Still, the alpha in me hated that I made her upset.

“When you moved away to play junior hockey after your grandparents died?” The few things she’d said fit together. There were still people who thought only alphas should play the rougher sports, like hockey and rugby.

She absently ran her fingers over the stitches on her forehead. “Yeah. My name was changed legally. Mostly I try to not talk about things instead of lying. But…”

I came up next to her. “That’s different.”

“Lies to protect yourself still can hurt people.” Her voice turned bitter, and she looked away.

“Keeping secrets for safety is something I understand, and I appreciate you sharing that with me.” My heart broke for her as I moved to meet her gaze.

“Austin didn’t know much about my past. He got his jock in a twist when he found out Gwen wasn’t the name I was born with. Ironic, considering his name isn’t Austin. One time we were dancing at a club and ran into someone from my past who knew my old name. It was one of those weird things.” Her scent took on a bit of burnt sugar, fear.

“It happens. My sister’s a singer. When I was a teenager, I’d go on the road with her during the summer. It’s always funny when I’m out with the hockey team and people are wait, aren’t you Zaya’s little brother, the one who’d wear the dinosaur costume and shoot T-shirts into the crowd? ” I offered, trying to soothe her fears before I hugged her to my chest and never let her go.

She let out a little chuckle. “I need photos.”

“Maybe this summer we’ll hunt her down and she’ll show you all the pictures. You’re no-contact with your family?” I asked.

“I… I wanted to keep in contact with some of my siblings, but I can’t do that. It’s all or nothing. I get it if this is a deal breaker for you. I’ll miss our practices.” She put the pillow back and her head hung.

The hopelessness in her face, her voice, made my heart break even more. Something about her brought out all of my protective instincts.

“Changing your name is pretty normal. I mean, Cooter changed his name to Cooter when he was nineteen.” I hated how defeated she looked.

“Cooter is his legal name and not his nickname?” She blinked.

“Yes. At Crestdale, half my class changed their name to something having to do with nature. My sister changed her last name when she became a singer, and I changed my name to match hers when I was living with her because it made things less complicated. Also, people go no-contact with family members,” I added, thinking of those who’d stopped talking to Zaya and me after our parents died.

“True. I don’t really tell people stuff like that. You’re easy to talk to.” She shuddered a little, still looking scared and vulnerable.

“I’ll keep your secrets.” I wanted to make her happy, protect her, soothe her fragile soul. It went beyond the normal alpha need too. Something pulled me to her, and it differed greatly from how I’d been drawn to Morgan.

“You’re so nice and I’m sorry she lied to you.” Gwen’s arms wrapped around herself.

“I appreciate you trusting me. Should we go find some bears to hug?” I offered, wishing we were at the point in our friendship where I could hold her.

We set off in search of a teddy bear for my sister. Zaya collected them. It was the least I could do. She put her music career in a holding pattern to get me through high school. Our hard work and sacrifice paid off. Now, we both played for sold-out crowds.

There was a whole little area of Hardwicks merchandise, including a display of bears in an assortment of sizes.

“These are so soft.” Gwen rubbed a small bear on her cheek, a look of bliss on her face.

“Do you want one, too?” I offered, choosing a medium-sized dark brown bear in a green sweater for Zaya.

“I’m good.” With reluctance, she put it down.

“Gwen, do you want a bear? If I offer to buy it for you, I mean it. I’m not a starving student. It’s not a hardship. Talk to me?”

Gwen pressed her lips together, brows knitting in thought. I gave her an unamused look.

“Or is there something else you’d like?” I offered, recalling the food hall. “Something you need? Something you want? Either here or elsewhere.”

If her ex ruined all her things, there was most likely something she was doing without.

She was quiet for a moment. “You would, wouldn’t you? We’ve known each other for like a week.”

I nodded and paid for the bear. “People helped me out in university and high school. Now I can pay it back. Clothes? Makeup? Those goalie skates you’re saving for. Practical, ridiculous, whatever you want.”

While I didn’t want to push, I wanted to give her some small happiness. I took the bag with the bear and we left the register.

Her head ducked as we walked through the sumptuous store. “The guys are going to get me some clothes and shoes. Until then, I can get by fine with what I have or hit a vintage store, or something. Carlos’ friend is re-painting my goalie mask. Clark said he’d get me what my school didn’t equipment wise.”

“So you’re going to get him to buy you the goalie skates you want?” I prodded. I think the problem here was that she didn’t like asking for help.

She shrugged. “I… I don’t want to be a bother. I’ll probably just make do with what my school gives me until I can afford what I want.”

There it was. She wanted help. She didn’t want to bother people by asking for it.

“Gwen, Clark came to find you at the rink in the middle of the night. I haven’t met him, but I’m pretty sure if he offers to get you something, he means it. He’s probably going to ask his sponsor for what he needs.” I wasn’t sure if that was true, but it might make her feel better.

She laughed. “His sponsor makes boxers.”

I had one of those. Also, I might have asked my rep at Bowerman this morning about getting her a pair of goalie skates. While the company she liked didn’t sponsor me, the company that made that model she wanted to try did.

“Don’t be afraid to ask for help.” My alpha hated that she was so hurt, so used and wounded by that ex of hers. If I ever saw him, I’d punch him. Then when the media storm hit, I’d tell them exactly what sort of alpha he was.

Gwen was sweet and kind. Hardworking and dedicated. She deserved an alpha that would support and cherish her.

“I’m okay right now. Please don’t buy me skates, Tens. The ones I like are expensive,” she told me.

I gave her a look. “Do you know how much I make?”

“More than a rookie.” Her lips pressed together, fighting a smile. An alarm beeped on her phone. “I have to head back to the rink, but thank you for the wonderful afternoon and the treats.”

“Let me walk you to the subway stop.” I’d go with her to the rink, but I didn’t want to spook her.

After I saw her off at the station, I got out my phone and checked my email. They were shipping the skates tomorrow. Good thing I caught her size one day. They were excited she wanted to try them out.

Gwen

I had fun, thank you.

Me

I did as well. We should do it again, try another place.

Gwen

Sounds good. Let’s find the best muffins in the city. My favorite is blueberry.

Me

Me, too. I like that idea a lot.

There was a lot to like about Gwen. It was in her smile, her easy nature, her drive, her fierceness in the net, the way she worked with kids. If my heart wasn’t so broken by Morgan and the Lewises, it would be easy to fall for her. Hard.