Page 49

Clark

A s the words left my mouth, I winced. I might as well tell them the story. I didn’t want to keep secrets from them. Also, maybe it would help Gwen a little. None of that was her fault, and I felt awful for her on so many levels.

Gwen looked up at me, her hazel eyes still a little teary, minty scent tinged with concern.

“Her name was Yelena. We were high school sweethearts. I was getting a lot of attention on the hockey front. I wanted to go to Natty for engineering–and hopefully play hockey for them. Because I was so confident, I did early decision, and was ecstatic when I was admitted,” I told them. Natty, National Tech, was just as prestigious as NYIT and well known for engineering.

“You got into Natty early decision? Shit, you’re smart,” Gwen told me.

Considering I struggled sometimes with reading it had been a huge accomplishment for me.

“My parents were happy for me, even though we had no idea how we’d pay for it if I didn’t get enough scholarships. Yelena and I had a huge fight. She didn’t want me to go so far away. I might have gotten mad and accused her of being unsupportive. Not my finest moment, because she was supportive . She called me selfish, grabbed her stuff, and stormed out.” I closed my eyes, trying to shut out the fight, the ugly things we’d both said to each other.

You’re so selfish, Clark. It’s always all about you. You and hockey.

Why is it okay for you to go to New York for fashion school, but I can’t go to Natty?

I regretted that fight so much. It turned out that her grandma was sick, and she was planning on staying local for a while–and wanted me to as well. But she hadn’t told me that. Also, she had gotten into fashion school. One day I’d start a scholarship there in her honor.

“Ma made me hot cocoa, hugged me, and helped me craft an apology text. But Yelena didn’t reply. She didn’t answer her phone, either. Then I got a call from her mom when she didn’t come home.” My chest shuddered at the memories of that cold winter night.

Gwen snuggled further into me, concern on her face. “She never made it?”

“No. She lived a farm over. She cut across the pond, which was frozen. But with ponds, they’re frozen until they’re not. The ice cracked, and she drowned. Never had a chance.” I closed my eyes, trying to block out her blue body as we pulled her from the icy depths.

“Oh, Clark.” Gwen pressed her face into my neck. “It was an accident. A horrible accident. My nonna had a pond. I know how they work.”

“She was a great person, and it was a terrible thing that happened. For a very long time, I blamed myself. Others blamed me, too. After all, she wouldn’t have cut across the pond if we hadn’t fought.” Okay, it was a logic leap. But to this day, some people thought that–like one of her moms.

“I’m so sorry that happened.” Gwen touched her forehead to mine.

“There was nothing you could do.” Tenzin squeezed my arm.

His touch blazed on my skin. Why did he have this effect on me?

“No, there wasn’t. It took time and a whole lot of work to get over the guilt I felt. It was hard. I still feel it sometimes–like every time I see her family.” I leaned into the both of them, grateful for our snuggly, warm cocoon. I kissed her forehead, hoping she understood.

“The moral of the story is that I need to see a therapist, got it.” She rested her head on my shoulder.

“The moral of the story is that we can’t keep blaming ourselves for things that aren’t our fault. It’s not healthy. Moving on isn’t disrespectful. I eventually moved on. It took time, but I did. But… then he abandoned me when I got signed.” Again, I winced as I remembered telling Tenzin last night that everyone left us.

“Who even does that?” Gwen asked.

“Not everyone wants the lifestyle the PHL offers. We’re at the whims of our teams. It’s not always comfortable.” Tenzin smoothed the hair out of her face.

Gwen still looked skeptical. “I’m sorry he did that, Clark. I’ll stay regardless of what team you’re on, as long as you want me.”

“Me, too.” I looked at her, then at Tenzin. “I understand that things don’t always work, but he literally ghosted me. It wasn’t even open for discussion.”

That hurt. He even came to my games and cheered me on. It would be one thing to talk about it and then decide to break up, but he wouldn’t even give me that. He just ghosted me.

It had been terrifying, because his silence reminded me of when Yelena disappeared and we found her in the pond.

“Let’s not do that, okay?” I added.

“Got it. But…” Gwen’s look grew anxious. “Please don’t abandon me for an omega, okay? You’re alphas, and I’m…”

I gave her a look, daring her to say the words I told her not to.

“I’m me.” She shrugged. “Taking two amazing alphas all for myself.”

“That will never happen. If we want an omega at some point, we’ll talk about it and if we all agree, you’ll be at the center of the search–sitting on my lap as we go through the books at the matching center, and on my arm at mixers,” Tenzin assured. “They’ll know you’re a very important part of this relationship.”

I liked the picture he was painting of a life together. Maybe not adding an omega. I didn’t think I needed one. Not all packs had an omega at their center.

Any omega would have to love and respect Gwen.

“That’s not going to happen.” I shook my head. “The way we get an omega is that one day, Gwen brings one home. Possibly not in a bucket.”

Gwen chuckled. “A wagon. Or…” Her look went coy. “My own motorcycle?”

“I don’t even like you riding on his. You need to learn to drive.” Tenzin shook his head as one of our phones beeped.

I grinned at him. “You’re just jealous that you haven’t gotten to be my backpack.”

“Oh, I’d love to see that,” Gwen breathed.

Me, too. Not that mine was made for two alphas.

“Why do you even have a motorcycle? You’re going to get hurt.” He frowned, concern wafting off him as the phone beeped again.

Awww. Tenzin was worried?

“I used to help my grandpa and uncle fix theirs. I’ve been riding around on them for years. Always wanted one of my own.” I bought it out of my second paycheck. The first mostly went to my parents. Though driving out here differed from farm country.

“I see.” Tenzin picked up his phone off the nightstand. He frowned at it and sighed.

“I used to help my Gramps fix his antique cars. Is Cooter summoning you?” Gwen looked at Tenzin.

“Yes. Unfortunately, I need to go.” He grimaced and rolled out of bed.

“I understand. I have things today, too,” she told him.

Tenzin got dressed, as I continued to hold Gwen tight, since she showed no interest in moving.

“I hope you’re feeling better. I’ll see you later.” He planted a kiss on her forehead.

I looked at him longingly, wishing I’d get a kiss, too, as I recalled him holding me last night, making me tea.

Tenzin reached out and ran his hand through my hair. “I appreciate you both sharing your stories.”

He slipped out the door, closing it behind him.

“I should take a quick shower. It’s nearly time to go to the spa. We’re getting massages and facials and I don’t even have to pay for it. Then we’re going to do each other’s hair and makeup,” Gwen told me, still not moving.

“Do you want me to shower with you? Soap you up really good. Wash your hair.” Make love to you against the wall. I ran my hand down her face, and she shuddered slightly. Hearing her story was devastating. Gwen was so young when it all happened. That asshole stole her childhood from her. She probably wanted some comfort.

Also, I had an alpha need to comfort her and reassure her.

She nodded. “Please?”

We got into the shower and I took extra care in soaping her up, my hands gliding across her breasts, her stomach.

A groan escaped her lips as I soaped her lower half, and her arousal filled the shower.

“Do you like shower sex?” I whispered in her ear, as I slipped a finger inside her trembling passage, the warm spray coming down on us.

“Very much,” she murmured, snagging my lips, arms wrapping around me.

“Can I make love to you bare?” I pressed her up against the shower wall. I was pretty sure I knew the real reason she’d been so upset this morning. It had nothing to do with being broken or not being taken care of well enough last night.

She nodded and wrapped her hand around my hard dick, guiding me into her waiting warmth.

My lips crashed into her, as I fully entered her, taking her hands and holding them up against the wall. I kicked her legs out slightly, so I could get her at precisely the right angle.

“Clark,” she gasped, as I hit that spot over and over, relishing in her expression as I pounded her into the shower wall.

I loved making her feel good.

“You feel amazing,” I told her as I thrust in and out. “Do you want my knot? We don’t have to.”

Her eyes met mine. “Can you hold me under the shower spray until it deflates?”

“I’ll happily do that.” I continued to explore her mouth with mine as I let go of her arms. My hands traced her muscular body, bringing the both of us closer to our peaks.

“Come for me,” I murmured, knowing I wouldn’t last much longer. I loved being inside her.

Oh, making her come more, what a hardship.

I kissed her again as I played with her clit. Her body shook with pleasure. Pulling out, I thrust in, seating myself in her fully. Her pussy fluttered, accepting my knot and clenching my cock, causing my release to happen as I came inside her.

Gwen’s body shuddered again, not quite a full orgasm but definitely in happiness. “Oh yes, that’s what I need, Tesoruccio.”

Bliss coated her face.

“It’s all yours,” I whispered, continuing to kiss her. Yes, that was exactly what she needed. I’d been right.

Alpha cum contained chemicals that helped the body produce all those happy hormones. When she wanted comfort from us last night, her body didn’t only want knots, it wanted some alpha happy juice. But we were responsible and wrapped it up. She didn’t suck our cocks, we didn’t rub our cum into her skin.

She wasn’t broken. Her body was having a hissy fit because it expected something and didn’t get it.

Given we were both on birth control, I was glad I could give it to her now.

My arms wrapped around her tight as I held her so that she could get more of the warm spray and not be cold. She’d been with an alpha for a long time. There were reasons why alphas never used to date–just hookup or court with the intent to mate.

Being in an intense relationship with an alpha at a young age could have lasting effects. I’d gotten that lecture multiple times when Yelena and I got serious, especially since I awakened as an alpha at sixteen. Obviously, Austin wasn’t as careful with her as he should have been.

I stroked her hair. “Do you feel better?”

“Much.” She snuggled into me and I held her until my knot deflated enough to release her and we finished our shower.

Now that I knew, I’d be more mindful. Whatever happened last night, this morning, I wanted this. Forever.

I’d do everything I could to keep it.