Page 19

Gwen

“ T hat’s it, like that,” I coached one of my tiny goalies. This week had been exhausting, because I was with the littlest of our hockey campers, mostly four and five-year-olds.

“Mariquita!” Carlos called from the stands nearest our group.

We were working in small groups on different parts of the ice. Bonnie had her group skating through cones, which were nearly as funny as my babies in full goalie gear.

“Why did he call you ladybug in Spanish?” one of my little goalies asked, as I kept running them through the drills.

“Ladybug is one of my nicknames,” I explained.

Carlos came onto the ice with his stick and skated over to us. “Can I join in?”

My campers all stared at him, slack-jawed. Oh, he had no idea what he’d done.

“You’re Little Brother Carlito,” one of them breathed, like Carlos was one of the most famous people in the world.

Another turned to me, eyes big. “Little Brother is going to play hockey with us?”

“Yes. And if you can show me that you can be good listeners, we’ll all play Puck, Puck, Goose together after we finish,” I told them. That game was a favorite and made a great reward.

“Ladybug.” Clark picked me up and spun me around.

“Clark!” I hugged him tight.

“I watch Monstruo Lane all the time,” another said, as they crowded around Carlos.

“I thought you weren’t coming back until Sunday?” I laughed as Clark put me down. It was nice to see him. Tenzin had left for Portland yesterday, then was going fishing with Cooter. I’d gotten some texts, but it wasn’t the same.

“My agent wanted to have lunch with me today. I’m doing another calendar shoot, which is exciting, since we already shot a TV ad campaign and some billboards.” He gave me a boyish grin, a sports strap attached to his black nerdy glasses. When he played games, he usually wore contacts.

“That’s great,” I told him. “Want to visit Marty with me tomorrow morning?”

“I’d love that,” he beamed. Marty adored him.

One kid started singing Little Brother Carlito’s signature song, which was a song in Spanish about cookies.

“I didn’t realize you had tinys this week.” Carlos got down on their level and sang with them.

Carlos was a semi-regular character in an educational bi-lingual children’s show. He played the younger brother of a blue monster named Anita, who was his actual older sister, wearing a fuzzy blue suit.

The show filmed during the summer, so there wasn’t any conflict with hockey. Carlos didn’t wear a furry costume, he was just himself, because families came in all flavors. For some reason, he wasn’t often recognized in the hockey world, except by his tiniest fans and their parents–though the cookie song played when he scored a goal.

The two of them helped me run drills. Then each of my baby goalies got to work on blocking them, hitting the gentlest shots ever from Clark and Carlos. We finished up with Puck, Puck, Goose. When we finished, Carlos and Clark helped me send them all off.

“Dimitri’s waiting for us upstairs,” Carlos told us, checking his phone, when the last one had been picked up.

“Go on up, let me clean up and clock out and I’ll join you,” I said to the guys.

Bonnie and I helped the other counselors clear the ice of cones, nets, and other training gear.

“We’re meeting up tonight at Marabou Mike’s, come, ” Bonnie said as we finished putting everything away.

“Possibly. I might bring tagalongs,” I replied. The guys would want dinner at some point. Marabou Mike’s was cheaper than Tito’s and had a better happy hour.

“Please, bring Little Brother Carlito.” Bonnie laughed. “I had no idea Carlos Rodriguez, the forward, played that character.”

“Most people don’t.” I grinned.

I went upstairs to the team area, excited to catch up with Clark. Maybe I’d ask him if I could keep some things at his place. I’d gotten another message from my coach at NYIT that my laptop and hockey things were in her office and I needed to get them.

Maybe I’d find the confidence to ask Clark if I could stay the rest of the summer. I mean, I could be house-sitting? That was a thing people did.

“Ladybug, hi.” Constantine, the assistant GM, came around the corner. “Just the person I wanted to see. Come.” He ushered me into the dining room, which was empty.

“Um, is everything okay?” My belly tightened. I hoped they weren’t getting rid of the EBUG program or decided I couldn’t stay for a third year.

“Thank you for finding my lizard. I didn’t secure the lid to his tank, and he escaped while I was off,” Constantine told me.

“Oh, Gary’s yours.” Relief sluiced over me. “Hopefully, I didn’t get you in trouble by turning him into the zoo. I couldn’t take care of him any longer.”

“I have a permit for him. His name’s Maddox, and you can visit him any time in my office. The reptile keeper spoke highly of you.” Constantine smiled.

Our new assistant GM had a permit for a rare poisonous pet? Amazing.

“Wait, you have a poisonous lizard named Maddox? Like in Doom Squad?” They were the arch nemeses of the Defender League.

“Indeed. Listen, Gwen. You… you can’t sleep here. It’s not safe.” His voice got soft, his scent filling with concern. “I know you’re feeling very unsafe after your breakup. I’m so happy the Knights make you feel secure. But if legal found out you were living here…”

Fear shot through me. My knees trembled. “Please, don’t fire me.”

Caught. I thought my hiding place was good. While I couldn’t be fired for just any reason, this was possibly violating the honor code or something.

“What? No. Of course not. Devon will be back on Monday and I’m sure he can help you find a place with good security. Does one of your friends live in a secure building? I know you’re trying to not bring trouble to their doorstep, and a hotel probably doesn’t have enough security to make you feel safe, but you can’t stay in the closet.”

His brow stayed furrowed with concern.

Yeah, I couldn’t afford any place Devon would find me, or a hotel. Did Constantine think I was an actual paid member of the team? It wouldn’t be the first time. Usually they thought I worked in social media or was Ice Crew. At least Constantine figured I was staying at the rink, because it was secure and not because I was broke.

“Ladybug, why are you staying in a closet?” Clark asked.

I turned around and saw his puzzled and concerned face. My eyes welled up with tears. “I can explain.”

“Oh, hi. We haven’t met yet. I’m Constantine, the new assistant GM,” Constantine greeted.

“Clark. Forward. Hey, it’s okay, Gweny. I’m here. We’ll get it all sorted, okay?” Clark wrapped an arm around me, enveloping me with his hay and sunshine scent.

“Can I speak with her?” Constantine asked.

Clark frowned. “Of course. I’ll be right outside.”

“Are you okay with him? I don’t know who might be friends with your ex or who you feel safe with other than the Yeti?” Constantine asked me, eyeing the now empty doorway.

“Clark’s safe. Thank you so much for checking.” That extra bit of concern warmed me.

“Don’t worry, you’re not in trouble. I want you to be safe. You just have to be safe somewhere else. If you need me to call hotels for you, let me know,” he told me.

“Thanks. I… I’ll talk to Clark first. I appreciate it.” It seemed like Constantine was sincere. Also, he had a point about legal. I hadn’t considered that. They were scary.

Constantine left. I took a deep breath, my belly in knots, and walked into the hall where Clark leaned against the wall on his phone, a worried look on his face.

“Clark, can I stay in your guest room, maybe house sit for the rest of the off-season?” I blurted. “To be honest, I can’t pay rent and I don’t know when I’ll move out, even after classes start, because things are fucked right now. But the closet is uncomfortable and, well, I can’t stay there anymore, and it doesn’t have room for my things, anyway.”

I braced myself for him to be mad or to say no, but I had to lay it all out there.

“Of course you can stay in my guest room. House sitting would be great. I don’t need you to pay rent or anything. You don’t need to worry about it. Stay as long as you need, even after the season starts.” He pulled me to him and I rested my head on his shoulder, which felt so natural.

“What if I need you to keep my broke ass all school year for free?” I couldn’t look up at him. I was asking a lot.

But I needed it so badly. If he’d actually let me stay there, I had a huge chance of figuring out paying off tuition, and still being able to not have to overwork myself when classes started.

“Then I keep your broke ass all school year,” he soothed. “I pay for a second bedroom regardless of whether anyone lives in it. Right now, the whole place is sitting empty. It might as well get used. I’m so proud of you for asking me, Gweny, and I’m sorry if you didn’t feel comfortable asking me sooner. When I offered it to you before, I meant it. I should’ve followed up. I was going to check in with you while I was here and see what you needed.”

Wow. I’d never heard an alpha speak like that before.

“I don’t really need a mini cow.” I looked up at him. The way he was holding me was comfortable. The thing I missed most about being in a relationship was cuddles.

“I know. It’s been fun designing a cow-house though. I wanted to bring you a kitten, but Ma wouldn’t let me.” He grinned, revealing a dimple.

“Your cow-house is amazing. I feel you could sell those plans on the internet or something. Does your building allow cats?” I laughed. “I’d love a kitten. A real one.”

“They’re real.” He gave me a dopey grin. “We don’t have to tell. Come on, let’s get your stuff moved into my place. Are we telling Carlos and Dimitri about all this?”

“I… I don’t know.” I didn’t want anyone to be mad or disappointed. “You’re going to let me move in. Just like that?”

“Yes. We’ve been friends for a year, and I trust you. You need help, and I want to help you, and I meant it when I offered.” He gave me an earnest expression.

I looked away. “I… I don’t want to be a bother.”

While I didn’t really know him to take people home, I didn’t want to get in his way.

“Why would you be?” He gave me an earnest, puzzled look. “You’re not a bother, Gwen. Your needs are valid.”

They were? Tears pricked my eyes.

“Hey, I’ve got you.” Clark pulled me to him as I cried all over his T-shirt.

My needs were valid. Shit.

“We’ll get you all set up in your new room tonight. Tomorrow, you’ll go shopping with Valya and get your new hair. On Sunday we’ll go to Swoop and you can fill a cart with whatever you need. If you feel bad about it, I can give you a time limit and you can race through the store like you’re on a game show.”

He stroked my hair as he continued to hold me.

“Oh, I can? I always wanted to be on that show when I was a kid. Thank you for being kind.” I sniffed. There was so much to love about Clark and I was happy he was in my life.

“Me, too. I’m not good at guessing, and I don’t always remember to ask, so please tell me if you need help, Gweny.” His scent grew concerned.

“It’s hard.” I gulped. “But I’ll try.”

“Good girl.” He beamed.

Him calling me a good girl did something to me.

Dimitri joined us, frowning. “What’s wrong?”

“Things aren’t going as planned. She’s going to stay with me for a while. Also, she’s been storing her things in closets here, but has to move them out. I’m going to help her with that now. Maybe we can meet up at Tito’s for dinner?” Clark gave me a look that clearly said, I hope that’s okay.

“Good. You’ll be safer at Clark’s.” Dimitri gave a nod of approval.

“I was going to meet some friends at Marabou Mike’s later. They’re all collegiate hockey players. Want to come?” I offered. “I haven’t been to Tito’s since I got fired.”

My old boss had left me a couple of messages asking me to fill in out of desperation. I hadn’t answered. He couldn’t fire me for not coming on the day I’d specifically taken off, then turn around and ask me to help out. I felt bad for my co-workers, though.

“That sounds fun,” Clark said.

“Need help?” Dimitri offered.

“We’ll let you know if we do,” Clark told him. “Come on, let’s get everything gathered. and I’ll get us a car. I took the subway here, not my bike.”

I took him into the storeroom where I’d been sleeping. “Thanks for covering for me.”

“I appreciate you trusting me.” He looked around. “Oh, Ladybug. This can’t be comfortable.”

Something about his sad puppy look cut deeper than any alpha growl ever could. I hated disappointing him like that and I crumpled inside.

“It’s not. So many times when I texted you late at night, I was trying to bring myself to ask if I could stay with you. But it’s such a big ask.” I hiccupped as I gathered my things.

Clark stacked cushions and folded blankets. “You’ll be much more comfortable with me. Tell me what’s going on? Did the place with your friends not work out?”

The entire story tumbled out, like Austin’s bank reversing the charges and how I’d tried and failed to figure out a way to fix it, to my tireless calculations and my grand plan to live here until graduation. It was such a relief to tell someone. It had been weighing so heavily on my soul.

“I can’t believe that knothead did that,” he told me, his scent turning spicy with anger. “You literally supported him for years and the one year he was supposed to support you, he broke his word.”

“He sure knew how to make it hurt.” I sniffed, as I gave the closet a once over, moving a few things, so it was like I never lived here, other than my scent. I’d grab some de-scenter from the cleaning closet and give it a spray. Okay, I should wash the blankets too. But I’d do that later.

“Pity you don’t have your deal in writing,” he added.

“Oh, I do. I’m an accounting major. I document the shit out of everything. Even if we could find him, I’m not sure I want to go after him. I’m done with all that.” I sighed.

“We’ll get this figured out. I want you to be safe. I want you to not be stressed out, so you can focus on classes and hockey,” he told me. “This is your year, and it’s going to be great.”

“I appreciate your confidence in me.” Having a place to live would be a tremendous relief.

We got the rest of my stuff and lugged it out to the street and into a waiting car.

“I have to say, the idea of living in the closet is brilliant. Free utilities and laundry, good security, and access to the kitchen,” he told me as the car drove away from the training center.

“It was. Pity I was foiled.” Worry that I’d get in trouble nagged at me, but I’d like to think I could trust Constantine.

“Question. Austin was supposed to pay your tuition this year. How did you do it last year? Life-changing tip? Big win at the casino? Sold a kidney? An extra scholarship?” Clark asked.

“When I was at community college, I had a few other scholarships, the kind that aren’t tied to your school. Those all had dried up by the time I transferred to NYIT.” There’d been some rough semesters.

I winced. “I have some aid from NYIT, but it doesn’t cover everything. So, I sold my signed Maria Barilla rookie card. I’ve sold most of my collection over the years. That one hurt the most, because the card meant so much to me. It was also worth a lot.”

She’d given it to me herself.

“Gweny.” His hand went to his heart. “I’m so sorry. I know how much you admire her. Do you want me to get you one?”

“No, you goofball.” I play-shoved him. “I want you to keep my ass and take me to Swoop and let me race down the aisles.”

That was going to be fun. Swoop was one of those discount stores where you could get pretty much everything you needed in one swoop.

“Okay.” He nodded.

We arrived at his building and went up to his floor.

Clark’s place was immaculate and smelled a little stale. The living room was the focal point with a giant alpha-sized couch, a video game chair, a coffee table, and a big TV. The dining room table was small and glass. It was a good-sized two-bedroom apartment.

“There’s my room.” He pointed to a door that was cracked open. “Here’s yours.”

The room was set up like a basic, pleasant guest room, with a comfortable-looking bed, a dresser, a desk, and an incredible view of the city. There were also a bunch of weights, some resistance bands on the chair.

“I’ll move my stuff. We can go to Home Things, too. Tonight, tomorrow, Sunday, whenever. Then you can choose sheets, towels and pillows, all that. We’ll either order a car or borrow Dimitri’s.” He put my bags on the chair.

“Clark. Thank you. Thank you so fucking much.” I set the box on the desk and wrapped my arms around him. It was a lot. Oh, maybe Home Things had a coupon.

“You’re so fucking welcome, Ladybug.” He squeezed me tight. “That’s what friends are for. Also, I found beautiful editions of the Intrepid Space Explorer Series for you. They won’t replace the ones he ruined, but they’re nice.”

“You did? Thank you.” I brightened. He remembered? Those books had meant a lot to me in my teenage years and one of the few things I’d brought with me when my name had been changed and I’d been hidden. They were my comfort books.

“What’s in the box? Not trying to pry, but it's pretty.” He eyed the carved wooden box I’d put on the desk. It was a decent size; a little larger than a box of skates.

“Something I found after you helped me clean everything up. I figured Austin took it out of spite.” Which was weird. Wrecking everything in here would hurt me a lot.

Not as much as losing my only picture of my mom though.

I opened the metal latches on the box my host dad in Rockland had made me when I graduated high school.

“It’s my hockey box. Here’s my ring I got for winning the NYIT championship this year.” I handed him the little velvet box. Because of NACA rules, they weren’t very expensive. The golden ring sparkled with maroon and gold stones–the Kings’ colors and had our logo and the year. My name and position was inscribed on the inside.

“That is so cool,” Clark said. “I have one from my community college division win.”

“Me, too.” We’d won our respective community college divisions the same year. I handed him that box, too. That ring was much nicer. My community college wasn’t under NACA rules. The alumni association had gone wild, springing for nice rings and an amazing party.

“I wonder what the Knights’ championship rings will look like,” he added. Since the Knights had won the PHL championship they’d get rings when the team had a dinner for them in the fall, when the team officially got the championship cup for the year.

Though the cup had been taking turns with the members of the team. Carlos had posted pictures of Lucky in it when it was his turn. Clark had taken it for a ride on a tractor.

“I have my jerseys from both those wins, too,” I added. Signed by the team. I brought those out, along with my other team jerseys, most signed, from high school, junior hockey, and the youth international team I’d played on one summer.

There was also the shirt I’d gotten the time I’d attended a developmental camp for the Mexico City Tigres–and one from a high school camp the Rockland Daredevils ran. I also had some signed pucks; including a couple from before I’d been Gwen that I couldn’t bear to leave behind.

“Is this Callahan?” He held up a signed Knights puck.

I nodded. He was almost as good as Maria Barilla and had been a Knight, too. “My nonna and her neighbors brought me to games sometimes.”

“I’m so happy your ex didn’t ruin your special mementos. We could always display things if you want.” He looked at the bare walls.

Display things? Was I staying? Though I wouldn’t be mad if he kept my broke ass all year.

“Why don’t I help you put everything away before we go eat?” he offered.

“Thank you. I have the best friends.”

For that, I was grateful.