Page 66

Gwen

“ I n case you need to tape your stick.” Silas came into the family room, where I’d set up, and handed me some hot pink tape. Smirking.

“Thanks.” I had momentarily forgotten that I didn’t have the gear I usually brought to Knights’ games. I didn’t even have my ratty practice stuff.

No. I had my brand new hot pink gear. Because I thought today was a good day to be a smartass. I also didn’t have a stick, since my dads hadn’t bought me one, so for practice today I used the one I always did and kept there.

At least my pink gear passed Silas’ inspection. It was good stuff and while I wasn’t as comfortable in it as my usuals, at least everything had been broken in a bit. He’d been nice enough to find new base layers and socks for me, so I didn’t have to wear my nasty shit.

Ty had forgotten his mask today. So I didn’t feel so bad about not having a stick. The one Silas had for me was nice. It wasn’t pink. Hence the tape, I was sure.

I sat in the family room, partially dressed, doing my usual warm-ups. It was now intermission, and I didn’t want to disturb anyone and the snacks were better.

As I talked to some of the MASOs, I taped my stick up with the pink tape and watched the mascot entertain the crowd on the TV, in the corner. I might as well be pink and sparkly if I went out. Then again, the likelihood, even with JP in emergency, was slim.

At least JP would be okay.

Coach Kirov came in. “Get fully dressed. Coach Atkins wants you on the bench. You are up for this?”

I gulped. Coach wanted me on the bench? What? I’d never gotten to sit on the bench before.

“Put me in, Coach.” This was my job. I could sit on a bench and wave at kids. I’d stuff some snacks into my pads.

“Good. Oh, you’re going to need this.” With a grin, Coach K tossed a bundle of black and silver fabric at me and left.

“I get to put one on?” I sucked in a breath,

AJ saw the bundle and put a hand to his heart. “Baby’s first jersey?”

I nodded and unfolded it, hands shaking. It was still warm from someone ironing the letters. My eyes teared. While I’d partially dressed out before, I never got to the point where I’d get to put the jersey on, let alone sitting on the bench .

Given I was an EBUG, it had 00. On the back was Di Rossi. My name.

My name was on a fucking Knights’ jersey.

I got to keep it.

Shit. My name. Usually it just said EBUG.

I finished getting dressed, keeping to my usual dressing order. It was almost the end of intermission, so I had to be fast. I sent some quick texts. One to my team’s group chat, one to Lenny, one to my host mom, and one to Matty, all saying, " Going to warm the Knights’ bench. Can you spot the Ladybug?”

Best Host Mom

I’m so excited for you.

I made an insta-chat and sent it to Cooter. “Going in. Got your necklace to bring me luck.”

Several MASOs admired my pads and skates. Verity found a hot pink headband in her purse to help keep the hair out of my eyes fashionably.

The NYIT group chat was already popping off, because most of us knew Ty. It was filled with good luck wishes and that warmed me.

Lenny

Win and you get a pastrami sandwich.

Me

Bring me my painting?

Why won’t Matty mail it to me?

I got my water bottle out of my bag and frowned. “Hold on. Fucking shit.”

No. No. No. No.

Usually, I had the right colored things in my bag when I was on duty. All I had was the correct color of hydrogel. I hadn’t been planning on going in tonight.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” I didn’t have what I needed.

Atty gave me a look. “Ladybug, there are kids here.”

“They don’t have the right colors. I know I won’t go in, but I’m going on the bench and I have to be prepared and they don’t have the right colors.” I looked at AJ, my eyes tearing. There was no time.

AJ was at my side. “Hey. It’s okay. What colors do you need?”

“I need a pink energy drink and a purple vitamin water. It doesn’t matter if the water is caffeinated or not. Brand and flavor don’t matter either, only the color.” I frantically pulled bottles out as if that would make it appear.

While I found a pink energy drink, there was no purple vitamin water, not that there’d been any earlier.

Why was there never any purple?

“Ladybug, are you ready?” Silas called from the doorway.

“Give us a second,” AJ called back.

My hand shook. “What do I do?”

It wasn’t right. Nothing was right. If I went in, I’d fail, because it wasn’t right.

“Hey, we have choices,” AJ soothed. “We could do a purple energy drink and a pink vitamin water? Or we can do the pink energy drink in your hand and make purple from a pink and blue vitamin water.”

“I have a bottle of purple sports drink in my diaper bag,” Vicker’s wife offered.

“Oh.” My freakout paused. “Sports drink works. Thanks.” I’d only switched to vitamin water since that’s what NYIT had.

AJ nodded. “Anything else?”

I shook my head as I drained the water out of my bottle into my mouth. Taking the can and the offered bottle, I added half the can, then the packet of gel, then most of the bottle.

“I want to make potions,” Jackson whined, tugging at Patrice’s arm, as I capped my water bottle and gave it a shake.

“Ladybug’s going to play in the game, so she gets to make a potion. It’s like how daddy always has a banana sandwich as his after-nap snack before a game,” Patrice explained.

Jackson beamed. “Ladybug gets to play?”

“Well, I get to sit with the players.” I sucked half the drink down and sighed as my anxiety faded and all was right with the world again.

Jackson and the twins gave me good luck hugs. Which melted my heart.

“Thanks, AJ.” I bit my lower lip. At least he’d understood my freakout. Hopefully, the other MASOs would, as well. They were the ones ordering bananas, washing–or not washing–the socks, and making sure everything was folded right.

I threw away the empty pack, but didn’t know what to do with the open can and bottle.

“Don’t worry about it,” AJ told me, following my glance. “Anytime. I get it. Mine was a very specific type of pickles. Grif went to five stores once to find them for me.”

I laughed. “Clark keeps pickles in his locker for between periods. One of his moms makes them and sends jars to him.”

“At least pickles won’t lead to heart failure.” Atty read the can, grimacing.

At least I didn’t mix my energy drink with coffee like Ty did.

“Ladybug, they’re waiting.” Silas came back in, grabbed my stuff, and left.

“You’ve got this.” AJ squeezed my shoulder.

“We’ll cheer for you,” Verity added, as I grabbed my stick and mask, balancing it with my water bottle. The other MASOs echoed it.

I grabbed a few snacks, stuffed them in my pads, and ran out of the family room, following Silas.

“Thank you. My name is on it,” I said softly.

“You’re littler than the others, and won’t fit in the one we have on hand. Always planned on making you your own. You’ve earned it. Also, Mia’s here.” He smirked. “Her dad trained me–and I remember you when you were tiny. You were her neighbor, right?”

“I was.” Wow, he remembered me? Silas had never mentioned that.

Music blared when we entered the locker room. Everyone turned to look at me as I stood there in a Knights’ jersey, hot pink pads, catching glove, blocker, and skates, with a pink mask and a pink-taped stick in my hands.

“Ladybug’s going to warm the bench,” Coach Atkins told everyone.

“Nice pads, Mariquita.” Carlos laughed and smacked me on the ass.

I struck a pose, nearly dropping my stick. “I’m a pretty, pretty princess.”

“Yep, almost as pretty as Vickers,” Nia laughed.

Vickers strut around, then slapped her on the ass. Nia hit him with her towel.

“I love the skates,” Nakey told me. He looked at Pauley. “Do you think we should get Patrice skates like that? Maybe in baby blue? She’d love the fur.”

Pauley laughed. “Sure, if you think it will get her on the ice.”

Patrice was that MASO who’d rather set up the snack table and have a gossip during family skate than actually skate. They’d carried her out more than once.

Then I realized what reporter was hanging out with them.

“Gwen!” Annalise from SportsBeat grinned. Her camera operator was with her.

“Look, I’m fully dressed.” I did a little turn. She’d only ever seen me half-dressed, hanging out in the equipment office, in case they needed me.

Carlos started laughing. “Right, the goalie-in-waiting article. You know, I never did figure out where you got the fun snacks.”

“I’ll never tell.” I grinned. Silas made me promise. Because the players would eat them all.

“You look incredible. I love the pink.” She directed the camera operator to get some footage of me and Carlos. Clark, Dimitri, and some of the others crowded around us and it became us clowning around and being silly.

“Focus, we’ve got to go back out soon,” Coach said as Dean picked me up and threw me over his shoulder, making me squeal and crushing my chips.

Coach Atkins gave last-minute instructions to the forwards. I downed the rest of my drink. Time to get my head in the game.

“Do you need a pickle?” Clark offered me the jar.

“I…” The weight of what was happening hit me.

Clark put down the jar and held out his arms. I took the smelly hug.

“I’ve got you. So does the Captain.” He took out his tiny Captain Everything plushy and booped me on the nose with it.

Dean joined us, huge in all his gear. “You’ve got this, Ladybug. If you go in, you get a taco for every shot you stop. If we win, they become taco dinners. It’s okay if you let pucks in, just try to let in less pucks than Ty.”

“Let in less than Ty. I can do that.” I shook a little as I put my mask on. While I’d prefer to let in zero pucks, I could definitely do that. Also, I could be bribed with tacos.

“Goalie hug.” Dean slammed me to him.

I was pretty sure the camera operator got that, but everyone loved goalie hugs.

Tenzin came over to me as everyone filed out and pulled me to him. “You have this. I believe in you.”

“You do?” My heart warmed as I snuggled into his smelly jersey.

He nodded. “Every single day. You mean everything to me.”

“Same.” That hug meant everything. I missed his hugs.

Whoops, I hadn’t changed out my nose ring for my sporty one. I even had it in my bag. I’d swapped it after practice. It was too late now. It would be fine.

But I had Cooter’s necklace, like always, on under my clothes.

Coach Atkins looked at my gear and skates and blinked. “Did NYIT change their colors?”

“My dads think this is my favorite color. Silas signed off on everything,” I mumbled as we entered the tunnel. “I have this, Coach.”

I hoped.

“I know you do,” Coach Atkins told me.

We went out and the players skated around. Dean got in the net and carved up the ice just how he liked as music thumped in the background. I tried to get in the zone and sat down on the bench. Inside, I was a mess, excited and nervous all at the same time. But again, just because I was on the bench didn’t mean I’d go in. A little kid peered at me and I waved.

And ignored the fact that the Gears were right there next to us.

Clark sat next to me and squeezed my hand. “You’ve got this. If you smack Austin with your stick, I’ll take your penalty.”

“Awww.” I leaned my head on his shoulder.

Carlos sat down next to me on my other side. The smell of nasty farts filled the bench. Grif made a face.

“Ugh, Lucky.” Carlos rolled his eyes. “Grif, stop feeding your cat cheese.”

The Deloitte brothers took off toward our goal, determined to score, Nia and Anders chasing them. Number 17 swooped in and hit the puck hard at the goal.

The puck went high and hit Dean right in the mask, knocking him on the ground, sending the puck flying right back onto the ice.

That was hard.

Jonas immediately went to Dean, as Nia started punching number 17 and another fight broke out. You didn’t touch the goalie.

My attention focused on Dean as the linemen came over to him, heart roaring in my ears. This was what I hated about my job–I only got to play if my friends got hurt or sick. Nausea rolled in my belly.

Clark squeezed my hand. “You’re Gwen Fucking Di Rossi and you were made for this. What better revenge is there than not letting those Deloittes score? Think how therapeutic this will be. Put him behind you for good.”

I swallowed hard. He was right. I wouldn’t let the douche brothers score.

This would be good for me. I’d take all that anger, fear, frustration and hurt and channel it into my playing.

If I happened to have a chance to hit, trip, or punch Austin?

Well, that would be frosting on the cupcake.

Make them regret. Yep, I’d make Austin regret ever pursuing me.

Jonas and a linesman helped Dean off the ice. Hopefully, he was okay.

“Dean Donovon’s being brought in to get checked out. That was a hard one,” the announcer said. “Given that right before intermission, Jean-Paul Trembley was taken to the emergency room, the Knights are now without a goalie.”

The fake alarm sounded. “This means we're having a historic game with two EBUGs. Did someone call for an EBUG?”

The EBUG music played.

Coach Kirov was right there. She grinned at me. “Ladybug, show them how it’s done.”

“Yes, Coach.” I stood and took the snacks out of my pads, throwing them over the glass at the kids who’d been waving at me.

“You have this, Mariquita,” Carlos told me.

“Break his kneecaps,” Pauley added.

Coach Atkins winced. “Please don’t. Don’t get suspended. Try to win.”

“You can do this. You get drinks at Tito’s when we win,” Carlos promised, slapping my shoulder.

Drinks and tacos? Nice.

I had this. I tumbled over the boards as the crowd went wild.

This is it. What I’d been waiting for, for the twenty years I’d spent in this sport. I was taking the ice at a PHL game. A Knights’ game.

Mia was even here to see it.

“Making her PHL debut is EBUG Gwen ‘Ladybug’ Di Rossi,” the announcer called out, as animated ladybugs filled the screens. “This is Di Rossi’s third year in the Knights goalie development program, where she’s head EBUG. She’s in her last year at NYIT, where she’s a forensic accounting major and starting goalie. Di Rossi has led two different collegiate teams to national titles. Welcome, Ladybug . ”

My picture flashed up on the screen.

I held up my stick and waved as I skated over to the goal. The crowd cheered, and I saw the MASOs waving at me. Jackson and the twins jumped up and down, along with some other kids, including Coach K’s. The Maimers, who’d stayed to watch the game, started dancing. Somewhere out there were Mia and Gio. I’d show them I remembered everything they’d taught me.

Yeah, I’d make everyone who ever coached me proud tonight, even those who had no idea who I was now. Especially everyone who took a chance on the tiny beta girl who wanted nothing more than to be a goalie.

I’d play for every beta girl who wanted the same.

Dimitri and Nakey were there waiting for me at the goal.

“We have you, Bozh’ya Korovka,” Dimitri told me. “They’re rough, but we know you’re not a delicate little flower.”

“I am so a delicate fucking flower.” My belly tightened as I skated back and forth a bit, marking up the ice just the way I liked it. “A carnivorous one.”

The play began, and as expected, Austin came right for me, with those fucking skates. Even though we hadn’t played together in years, I knew all his tricks–we’d still practice together.

Not to mention I’d studied him as I’d tried to figure out who he was. He’d been having a little trouble since his favorite shot wasn’t PHL legal. I’d warned him, but he always knew better than me.

Austin took the shot and came in hard and fast, and I smacked it right back onto the ice, sending everyone scrambling for the puck.

Everyone except Austin.

“I’m not going easy on you,” he snarled as the ice crew came out to sweep the ice.

All I could do was laugh. He’d never gone easy on me. That wasn’t the relationship we had. We went all out on each other to help make each other good.

“Eat a bag of dicks, Toilette. You and your knotwaffle brothers are messier than a badger in a dumpster of waffles. You certainly aren’t scoring on me today,” I sneered back.

“Get out of here,” Dimitri told him, and Austin skated off. He turned to me. “I’ll buy you a present if you don’t let him score.”

“Keeping him from scoring is my present,” I replied, giving the goal post a pat. Good post.

No, today was not the day Bronson fucking Deloitte would score his first regular season PHL goal. No goals for assholes. Not today. Not ever.

Play re-started and I monitored the puck as the action stayed down on the Gears’ end, though I knew Austin and his brothers were going to come at me with everything they had.

The best revenge is to thrive.

Watch me fucking thrive.

Number 17 had the puck and headed for me, number 18 on his heels. They tended to tag-team and give each other the assist.

Nerves coursed through me. I was playing in a PHL game. Against my asshole ex.

Fuckity, fuck, fuck.

Think tacos.

Taking a deep breath, I pushed it away. Yes, because for every puck I stopped, I got a taco. Not one puck was getting in. All those tacos belonged to me. It was time to bring the sauce.

I’m Gwen Fucking Di Rossi and I was made for this.