Page 5 of Loving an Earl (Widows of Mayfair #1)

W hile they were chatting, the dancing began with a quadrille, which Lilly was thrilled to miss out on. Even though she’d danced it with her dancing master, she knew the dance made her nervous that she would make a mistake. Lilly listened to the three others reminisce about the days when Emmeline’s husband was alive and how they all missed him. Blackstone also mentioned a Mr. James Caldwell, and they all wondered why he had not arrived yet. Lilly felt bad for Emmeline—though Blackstone was polite, he treated her indifferently.

But as they conversed, Lilly learned several things about Langford. He had arrived in London two weeks ago after spending all those months she’d been away at Langford Manor. Along with Mr. James Caldwell, he had started a lucrative shipping business some years ago. Blackstone had also bought into their business sometime later, adding him as a third partner. And the three men had spent the three years before his uncle’s death traveling to the West Indies and back. They owned four ships and a warehouse on the Thames. Emmeline teased both men, asking them now that they inherited titles, lands, and everything that went with them, would they do their duty and seek brides this Season?

When both men coughed into their gloved hands, Lilly smiled.

Blackstone spoke up first. “My dear, Emmeline,” he paused, uncertainty flashing in his eyes. “May I still call you Emmeline?” There was that cool tone again, even though his words were friendly.

Emmeline blushed, and her eyes softened. Poor Emmeline, she really did have deep feelings for Blackstone. “Emmeline is fine.” Her cheeks took on a darker shade of red. “We have been friends for ten years. You don’t need to stand on formality. Pray tell, what shall I call you now?”

He chuckled, letting his guard down and Lilly swore he blushed. So perhaps he wasn’t that indifferent to Emmeline. “His Grace, Duke, or Blackstone will suffice in public. In private, you can call me Andrew as you used to.”

Lost in listening to Blackstone and Emmeline’s conversation, Lilly didn’t notice the orchestra beginning the first strings of a waltz until Langford turned, bowed, and held out his hand. “May I have this dance if it’s not promised to another?”

No need to look at her dance card tied to her wrist by a ribbon, for Lilly to know it hadn’t a name written on it. “Y-yes,” she stammered with shock. Langford wanted to waltz with her? She put her hand in his and he transferred it to his forearm and led them out into the middle of the dance floor, which was quickly becoming a crush of couples. As they began to dance, she noticed the looks and whispers following them around the floor. She fought hard not to let her nerves get the best of her. If she didn’t relax somewhat, she was liable to trip up.

“Look at me and breathe,” Langford said. “In, out. Again. In, out. Let them stare and wonder. We will be fodder for their gossip whether we dance or not.”

So she studied his handsome face with his warm brown eyes, strong jaw, and straight nose, and she breathed.

“Better?”

“Yes. Thank you.” And it was better. Concentrating on his face and nothing else made the people and the room around them disappear. The tension eased from her back and shoulders until her mind became a traitor again. “Why are you being kind to me?”

He stepped on her toe; she winced at the pain but ignored it. So he wasn’t as relaxed and comfortable around her as she believed.

She knew a waltz was still a bit scandalous and had always pictured it as a slow dance where the partners could get close and have an intimate conversation. And then her dancing master taught her how to waltz, and she was disappointed to find that, though there was an uncommon measure of touching and closeness, the dancers moved quickly around the room. Though a couple could converse, it wasn’t intimate. One had to speak rather loud and fast.

His brows lowered, and he frowned. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because last we met, you were not nice. You accused me of terrible things.”

His frown deepened. “Forgive me. I was not myself that day.”

She widened her eyes in silent question.

His brows drew together. “Fine. For several weeks. You gave me quite a shock when you turned around from looking out the window that first moment we met. I didn’t expect a lady as young as yourself.” He paused and his lips curved up into a tight smile. “I was shocked and have regretted my actions ever since that day. By the way, the household barely speak to me. You must have cast a spell on them. They love and miss you.”

A lightness entered her body and she smiled, remembering happier times when she resided at Langford Manor and Henry lived. “I love them as well. I have known most of them my entire life. My father was the vicar and Henry’s closest friend. I spent many a day at Langford Manor while growing up.”

His eyes widened and then relaxed as if he hadn’t known this information. How strange. Had no servant or villager told him? He seemed to shake himself and changed the subject.

“Forgive me for speaking of finances, but I hope Mr. Beauregard sent word that an account was set up for you with a monthly allowance, and you are to send your bills to him for payment.”

“Yes he did. Thank you.”

“May I ask a personal question? And forgive me if I overstep, but how did it come about that my uncle married you?”

Now it was Lilly’s turn to step on Langford’s foot. She quickly recovered, and his only concession to acknowledging it was one raised brow. Was this why he’d asked her to dance? To fish for the information he’d never been able to get out of the Langford household?

“I’m sorry. There is nothing to tell. I can’t say why he decided to marry at that time in his life. Only Henry knows. However, he hinted at wanting an heir. Perhaps he wasn’t pleased with you.” She ignored his gasp at her lies. “Why did he choose me? That is also a mystery.” She hoped her words made him think again about asking such intimate questions that were none of his business. What had transpired between Henry and her was their business and no one else’s.

She was saved from future questions when the waltz ended, and he escorted her back to Emmeline and Blackstone, who had not danced. He bowed, his expression serious with a touch of anger. “Please excuse me.” Lilly watched him make his way across the room, nodding to several gentlemen trying to get his attention. He exited the double leaf doors, which she assumed led to a veranda.

“Why did he run off?” Blackstone asked with a knowing smirk.

Lilly wanted to know what Blackstone knew. And why he hinted at things. Had Langford confided in him what transpired between them the day they met? She would have loved to have overheard that conversation. “We had a lovely dance. The man is dark and brooding. Perhaps he needs fresh air to lighten his mood.”

Blackstone threw back his head and laughed, drawing eyes to them. It was the first time Lilly had seen the duke relaxed and unguarded. “You know Langford so well already.” He bowed. “If you’ll excuse me, ladies, I should seek out my friend.”

Emmeline’s eyes followed Blackstone as he swaggered toward the doors to the veranda. Unlike Langford, he didn’t acknowledge those vying for his attention. Perhaps Lilly would think of him as the Haughty Duke of Blackstone.

“Tell me what happened,” Emmeline said, her eyes still following Blackstone.

Lilly humphed. “I now see why you are taken with Blackstone. He is beyond handsome, mysterious, and witty. Although not to you, which I don’t understand unless your mother is correct and he suffers from guilt surrounding Aiden’s death.”

“Many years ago, he was friendly and lighthearted with me,” Emmeline said with a sigh, her eyes still trailing Blackstone as he disappeared outside. “And then Aiden died. He began treating me coldly and kept his distance. He had a hard time the following year. He drank and gambled to excess. From what I heard, his father stepped in, refusing to cover his markers and cut off his allowance.”

“What happened?”

“He went to work with Langford and Caldwell and spent three years on their ships. I heard he amassed enough money to pay his debts and buy into Langford and Caldwell’s shipping empire. From the rumors I hear, the three are now richer than the Crown.” She paused. “Why did Langford stomp off?”

Lilly smiled. “He did, didn’t he? I have no idea why. Well, except that he asked me why Henry married me, and I told him it was because he wanted an heir, perhaps because he was displeased with the one he had.”

Emmeline laughed, then covered her mouth with her gloved hand, the same sapphire shade as her dress. “What a little devil. I didn’t realize you could lie so easily.”

“It wasn’t a total lie. Henry never said he wanted an heir, but it wasn’t beyond possibility.” Perhaps she was a good liar after all.

“Come, I’m hungry. Let’s see what they are serving,” Emmeline said as they strolled arm and arm out of the ballroom, making their way to the drawing room. “As a debutante, I would eat before I came. My mother wouldn’t let me eat at any of the balls or soirees. She was afraid I would spill on my gown or a gentleman would think me a cow for eating too much. I was only allowed to eat at small, intimate gatherings where sit-down dinners were served. Most of the debutantes attending tonight will have stuffed their faces before coming here for the same reason I did.”

“That’s a little harsh.”

“Yes, well, as widows, we can eat to our heart’s content.” Emmeline glanced around. “Unless my mother sees us. We must eat in here so she doesn’t. She might still want to enforce that rule.”

Lilly laughed as she took a small plate from a server. “Then we must eat quickly not to be found out.”

“Exactly.”

“Exactly what?” asked a deep voice belonging to Blackstone.

Emmeline was startled and nearly dropped her plate. “Your Grace, didn’t your mother teach you manners? You should never sneak up on a lady.”

“Forgive me.” He smirked, then looked at Lilly and winked. What a devil he was—one moment glaring at Emmeline, then the next teasing her. If Emmeline managed to snare the duke, her life would never be boring. So far this evening, Lilly hadn’t seen him dance with anyone, even though she had caught several debutantes eyeing him hopefully, and their mamas looking longingly with greed and some with lust, which shocked Lilly.

On the other hand, Langford had danced nearly every dance since they waltzed, or she should say, since he reentered the ballroom after he stomped off in a huff. He plowed through the debutantes like a farmer plowing his fields—not that she was particularly noticing or anything. No, another lie. Enemies they were, but he had magnetism, and she wasn’t immune.

Why couldn’t she be attracted to the duke instead of Langford? Although on reflection, that would be so much worse. Emmeline was in love with him.

As Blackstone escorted both Emmeline and her back into the ballroom, their host, the Duke of Westport approached. “I’ve requested a waltz. I would like to dance with my dear friend Henry’s widow.” He bowed slightly, holding out his arm, clearly expecting Lilly to take it.

Panicking, Lilly’s eyes swung from Emmeline to Blackstone, then to the duke, a man Henry’s age. And as with Henry, he was handsome and fit. They both had aged well, but the similarities ended there. Her entire being shivered. She believed the duke hid some depraved part of himself from the outside world. She could not explain how she knew. She just did. However, believing she had no choice in refusing, she accepted and ignored the chills tingling up her spine.

“It is an honor to dance with you, Your Grace.” Another lie. She was indeed becoming proficient in lying. Not something she was proud of. Ten seconds into the waltz, Lilly regretted her decision. The duke held her too close at every opportunity the dance allowed. Mostly when they twirled around fast and he thought she might stumble. His dark, beady eyes stared down her bodice, and he licked his lips repeatedly as though he wanted to devour her. Or perhaps it was to stop himself from drooling. She had to breathe through her mouth because the heavy, perfumed scent of musk mingled with body odor had her stomach revolting. During the receiving line, she had paid little attention to the duke since the duchess had drawn her in with her smile and chatter. She regretted that now. He was positively repulsive.

Finally, he lifted his eyes from her bosom. The depravity she saw inside them had the chills creeping up her spine, intensifying and confirming what she believed earlier. Her eyes darted around the ballroom, hoping to find a savior. No one noticed his leering or her panic.

He licked his lips again, and when he spoke, spittle hit her in the face. Her entire being screamed for help as she fought not to gag.

“My dear Countess, may I call you Lilliana?”

There was no need to respond as he went right on leering, spitting, and talking in what he seemed to believe was a deep, seductive voice. When in reality, it was the voice of nightmares.

“Since you are a widow and are used to certain activities of the flesh, I was hoping you would consent to become my mistress. I want to lick you from head to toe and the sweetness between your thighs.” His lips curled up into the most frightening thing she’d ever seen, and her entire body trembled. She wanted to run away and hide.

“Good,” he moaned, licking his lips again. “You are excited. Once the waltz is over, meet me in the library, and we will make plans. Perhaps you will allow me a sample of your sweet flesh.” If the waltz didn’t end soon, Lilly was afraid she would be sick all over the duke. It would serve him right if she were.

As the final chord of the waltz ended, Lilly didn’t wait for the duke to escort her back to Emmeline and Blackstone. She turned her back on him and hurried not to her friends but to the lady’s retiring room, where she came face to face with the duchess.

“My dear, whatever is the matter?” she asked with a knowing smile. “Did my husband make advances? Ask you to become his mistress?” For a brief moment, she cringed. “Please forgive me if I planted the idea into my dear husband’s mind. You see, I’ve done my duty and given him not one son but two, and three daughters. His touch is vile and makes me ill. Shall I say his taste runs sadistic? We haven’t shared a bed in years. Unfortunately, his needs must be met, and most of the brothels won’t allow him inside—bruised merchandise doesn’t sell. But I thought since he and Henry used to be friends, perhaps they shared similar tastes in the bedroom and you wouldn’t mind.”

Was she daft? Lilly opened her mouth to speak twice before she could choose the right words. “How c-c-could you?” she stammered. Tears ran down her cheeks, tears of anguish and mortification, and she hated herself for showing the duchess any weakness. No doubt she would take even more advantage.

Instead, her face softened. “I’m sorry. I was desperate. Forgive me. Please keep this little incident between us.”

Without another word, she left, and Lilly sank into a small chair and hugged herself, hoping to stop the trembles plaguing her body. How on earth would she continue the evening when all she wanted to do was go home, bury herself beneath the covers, and forget this night had ever happened? Instead, she went to the mirror, wiped the tears from her face, pinched her terribly pale cheeks, put a smile on her face, and exited the room. Before taking barely five steps, she bumped into Langford. He reached out with his hands to steady her.

“Easy there, Lilly... Countess.” When his eyes narrowed on her face, he took her hand and pulled her down an empty hallway to a deserted sitting room, shutting the door behind them. He released her hand and studied her face, making her shiver. “What happened?”

“Nothing.” She couldn’t tell him.

“I saw you dancing with the duke. Never has a more immoral man ever existed.” His features softened. “What did he say to you? You may not believe this, but you are the previous earl’s widow and I, the current earl, am responsible for your well-being unless you marry. If you do not marry, then you will hold the title of Countess of Langford forever. And when I marry, you will become the Dowager Countess of Langford—still my responsibility. Please tell me what happened. I can’t protect you if I don’t know what we are up against.”

We ? There was no we as far as Lilly was concerned. “He asked me to become his mistress.”

He growled. He actually growled like an animal, reminding her that she had called him a bear of a man once.

“He didn’t?”

“He did, at the suggestion of his wife.”

This time he managed to control his growl to a mere groan. “The bloody blackguard and the bitch.”

His reaction puzzled Lilly. It seemed he really did think he was responsible for her. Something inside her broke when he took her hands again into his. The anger spiking in his dark eyes turned to distress as tears leaked down her cheeks and her body trembled.

“Please don’t cry,” he murmured as his fingers wiped away her tears. “He will never get near you again. I promise.”