Page 13 of Loving an Earl (Widows of Mayfair #1)

O nce back among the tables and other guests, Redford bowed off. Lilly joined Emmeline at the food table to fix a plate of sandwiches, cheeses, bread, and fruit.

“You disappeared with Redford quickly,” Emmeline said with an inquisitive look.

“Yes. We strolled down the path to a lovely small garden with a bench.”

“And?”

Lilly exhaled. “Nothing. He talked very little, as did I. I’ll admit he is handsome, but he seems rather dull. He is calling on me tomorrow. Perhaps there is more to the man than meets my eye.”

“Perhaps.” Emmeline agreed. “I wish I could help, but I have never met the viscount before. Nor have I heard much about him. I could inquire as to his nature with Blackstone if you would like.”

“There is no need. I’ll learn about him myself tomorrow.”

They found an empty blanket and sat down carefully, keeping their ankles covered with their skirts while they nibbled on their refreshments. When Lilly’s sun disappeared, she looked up and nearly choked on the grape she’d just popped in her mouth. Langford stood beside her, a plate balancing on the palm of his hand. “May I join you?”

How did he show up out of nowhere like that? And why did her insides heat up when he locked his creamy-brown eyes with hers? His wavy hair, with one wayward curl falling over his forehead, made her fingers itch to push it aside. To feel the silken threads between her fingers. The urge to moan out loud had her swallowing it down instead.

“Yes.” Was that her breathy voice?

“Hello, Langford,” Emmeline said as she placed her empty plate beside her. “Is Blackstone in attendance?”

Langford sat next to Lilly, his legs out straight with his plate balanced on his thighs. He hit Emmeline with a knowing smile. “Yes. He’s playing Pall Mall with Caldwell and several others.” Langford put a whole cucumber sandwich in his mouth. It was tiny, after all. “I’ll need about ten of these to quench my appetite.”

Giggles escaped Lilly before she had time to stop them.

Langford looked at her, one eyebrow brow raised, his lips quirked up into a smile.

Heat started inside her chest and unfurled to encompass her entire body. She would blame it on the warm sunshine rather than on what had transpired in her bed with him. Even though seeing him reminded her of the pleasure her body was capable of. “Sorry. Everything being served today is small in portion. It’s perfect for the ladies but not for gentlemen with voracious appetites.”

*

Edmund almost spit out the piece of cheese he’d put inside his mouth when Lilly said “gentlemen with voracious appetites.” Bloody hell, those words could refer to all sorts of things. Innocent and indecent. And the first thing that came to his mind was gentlemen’s sexual desires, specifically his sexual passion related to Lilly after all they shared beneath her sheets. Even now, her rose scent invading his nose and the close proximity of her lush body awoke such a need inside him that he considered moving his plate higher up his lap to hide his erection. His cock strained against his breeches, and with their tight fit, he wouldn’t be getting up anytime soon. Then he remembered his uncle’s papers he’d found in the hidden compartment of his desk. His heart had better freeze up because he wasn’t yet sure if he could trust her and wondered what other secrets she still hid from him. He hated to admit it, but he had a suspicious nature and would question her honesty in all things, knowing she’d already withheld information from him so easily.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t immediately realize Caldwell and Blackstone had joined them on the quickly filling blanket. There was hardly room for the five of them.

“How was Pall Mall?” Edmund asked. “Who won?”

Blackstone chuckled. “Lady Priscilla Amesbury. She stomped on Hollingsworth’s pride as he came in second. Those two play cutthroat. You’d think they were fighting to the death. The rest of us hadn’t a chance.”

Edmund was surprised when Lilly said, “Perhaps Hollingsworth has found his match with Lady Priscilla even though he denies it.”

He wanted to laugh, but he held himself back. “Perhaps he has. Only time will tell.”

“Caldwell, when, pray tell, are you going to stop traveling to faraway lands and marry a nice young lady?” Emmeline asked.

“I’m not ready to settle down.”

“One day, Caldwell,” Emmeline said, “when you least expect it, some lovely debutante will catch your eye. You will be smitten and running to the Archbishop of Canterbury for a special license.”

Everyone laughed except Caldwell. He looked at Edmund and then at Blackstone. “I won’t be the first gentleman to do so.”

Edmund’s muscles tightened at Caldwell’s hint. He would not be running off to get a special license—certainly not to marry Lilly after what he uncovered. Yes, part of him understood the papers he found were private and pertained to Henry and Lilly’s marriage and had nothing to do with him. But another part of him felt betrayed at the implication that neither of them had trusted him to do right by Lilly.

As the conversation went on around him, he studied Lilly to see if she would act differently after what they’d shared last night. She appeared the same, except now and then she glanced his way shyly and looked away quickly. He tried not to think too much about what it meant nor about the pieces of paper folded inside his jacket pocket.

When the gathering ended, earlier than planned as it looked as though a passing shower was going to come through, Edmund approached Lilly. “May I have a quick word with you?”

Her eyes moved to Aunt Vivian and Emmeline before landing back on him. Her green eyes sparkling in the remaining sunlight did strange things to his insides. He felt as though she could see all his thoughts and dreams. “You can walk me to our carriage,” she answered.

They walked side by side. She hadn’t taken his arm and he tried to not feel snubbed. No sense waiting any longer to bring up what he wished to discuss. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled forth several pieces of folded paper. “I found these in a hidden drawer in the desk in the study. Care to explain?”

Lilly took the papers from him. While she looked them over, her eyes widened and her cheeks pinkened. She handed them back. “I had nothing to do with these. That is my signature on the paper regarding our marriage, but I don’t remember seeing it before now. As for the trust, Henry insisted on it.”

“So he didn’t trust me .” His stomach knotted in agony at the realization.

“Trust had nothing to do with it.”

“How can you say that? The proof is in the papers.” He bristled. “What other lies are you guarding that are waiting to be unearthed? What else are you and Uncle Henry hiding from me?”

Her footsteps faltered. “Nothing.”

“Forgive me if I don’t believe you.” He handed over another piece of paper. “I took the liberty of writing down the names of several eligible bachelors worthy of you.”

“I see.”

“Don’t be angry with me. I just want what’s best for you.”

“Of course you do,” she murmured. “Because last night meant nothing to you.”

He tamped down his anger because he needed to keep his voice low. “It’s because of last night that I made the list.”

Her eyes met his, tears forming in hers, and he told himself the list was for the best, but he knew it wasn’t true. He could lie to himself until the end of time and the truth would be the same. All he really wanted to do was burn the list and make Lilly his.

But pride was a bloody stubborn emotion.

*

Shock rippled throughout her body at his reaction to finding Henry’s papers. No matter what he believed, she’d never lied to him. She may not have volunteered the whole truth on some things, but she’d never outright lied. And it was clear to her now that what they shared last night meant nothing to him. Except it had not felt that way at the time. He had truly seemed to care for her. Was that something men did? Could they make love to a woman and have it not affect their heart? Their emotions? Their morals?

What a fool she was. One day. That was all it had taken for him to dismiss what they’d shared and supply her a list of marriageable gentlemen. She hadn’t expected him to swoon or propose marriage, but was a bit of kindness too much to ask?

Inside the carriage, Emmeline asked, “What did Langford want?”

Lilly refused to acknowledge the hurt having taken over her heart. “He gave me a list of potential suitors.”

“How very considerate of him,” Aunt Vivian said with all seriousness. “Is his name on the list?”

“Mama,” Emmeline scolded, “you know it will not be.”

“It should be. The room heats up from the way his eyes devour Lilly when they are in close proximity. I had nothing else to do today but watch you girls socializing with your gentlemen—”

“Aunt Vivian,” Lilly interjected, feeling sick to her stomach, “they are not our gentlemen.” Langford was only hers last night and never would be again.

Aunt Vivian waved her arm. “Regardless of what you both think, I watched Langford hunger for Lilly today. Anyone with one working eye could tell he has deep feelings for you. As for Blackstone, my dear daughter, the man looks at you with reverence. Give them both time to come to their senses. Men can be so blind and stubborn at times, it’s infuriating.”

Lilly looked at Emmeline with wide eyes, and they both burst out laughing. Aunt Vivian had at least one thing right—men could be blind, stubborn, and infuriating.

Right after dinner, Lilly went to her room, looking forward to spending the night at home, as they had no commitments that evening. Lilly, dressed in a night rail and robe, fell back on the chaise longue in her room with a deep, contented sigh. The freedom her body had from not wearing a corset felt heavenly. She breathed in and out letting her chest expand and contract. It was not natural to stifle a woman’s breathing with a corset enhanced with whale bones.

Soft knocking on her bedroom door had her answering, “Come in.”

“I hope you don’t mind,” Emmeline said as she walked over toward the chaise. “I thought we could give that list from Langford a once over.”

“Whatever your mother thinks, it’s not thoughtfulness on his part. Langford found private papers belonging to Henry and never meant for anyone else’s eyes. Today he accused both Henry and me of lying and not trusting him to do his duty by supporting me after Henry’s death. He said he could never trust me now. Whatever happened between us last night will never happen again. Hence the list.” Lilly swiped at the annoying tears sliding down her cheeks.

Emmeline opened her mouth to speak, then shook her head. “I’m sorry. Langford is being a fool in so many ways.”

Lilly ignored the pain in her chest and forced Langford from her mind. Earlier, she’d tucked the list into her robe pocket. Pulling it out, she unfolded it and stared at the five names scribbled in Langford’s flowy but messy handwriting. “Number one is the Duke of Stanton.” Lilly furrowed her brows. “Do I know him?”

“Not that I’m aware,” Emmeline said. “He stays mostly in the country with his two children since his wife, their mother, died of a fever two years past. As far as I know, he never comes to London.”

“Then why did Langford put him on the list?”

“I haven’t a clue. Perhaps he knows something. The last time I saw him was during my first Season. He was unmarried, handsome, and a total rakehell. He’d just come into the dukedom and was not ready to settle down. He eventually married the American daughter of a whaling tycoon. How sad she passed on so young.”

Lilly frowned. “Yes. How sad. He must be looking for a replacement mother for his children. Does Langford see me that way? I want children someday, but most certainly not now.”

“Who is next?” Emmeline asked.

“Mr. James Caldwell. Langford needs a physician for his brain if he thinks Caldwell is interested in me or I in him. The man just today professed to love his status as a bachelor. We would never suit.”

“I agree. Next.”

“The Earl of Dunston,” Lilly answered. “I remember being introduced to him before the opera. If I recall, he had his mistress on his arm and he looked besotted. Is this list a joke? Is Langford just making fun of me?”

“I don’t know,” Emmeline said with a soft voice. “Who are the last two?”

“The Viscount Redford.” His handsome face flashed in her mind. “He is handsome and seems affable. He has odd eyes, though.”

Emmeline giggled. “Odd eyes. Whatever do you mean?”

“They are such a light blue. I’ve never seen eyes so light. They almost glow. Perhaps it was the sunlight altering the hue.”

“Anything else wrong with him?”

“Not that I can think of. Not that I actually know him, of course.”

“Final name.”

Lilly stared at the paper. Her eyes had to be deceiving her. It was bad enough that Caldwell’s name was on the list, but to also have his brother, the baron, was plain stupidity. Neither brother had shown any interest in her or in marriage. “This one is as laughable as his brother.”

“Let me guess.” Emmeline huffed. “Baron Latham?”

“Langford’s an idiot. The baron is even more of an enigma than his brother, Caldwell.” Lilly jumped up and sat down at her writing table, took out a piece of parchment, opened the ink bottle, and dipped the quill.

Dear Earl of Langford,

While I appreciate your efforts in compiling a list of potential suitors, I must decline to consider all but one. The only name on the list that is worth considering is Viscount Redford. The others I strictly decline to even contemplate. Not that I am truly considering Redford, either. I simply couldn’t think of a reason to cross off his name. Yet. Perhaps you should leave my future life and husband to me. I’m capable of making good decisions most of the time.

Very truly yours,

Lilliana Weston, Countess of Langford

“I wrote him a note,” she said to Emmeline. “I wonder what he’ll think when he reads it. Not that I care. The faster I get him out of my life, the better.” She hoped he’d understand the added significance of the last sentence. As the hours ticked by, she regretted the events of the previous night more and more.

They were interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Yes,” Lilly called out.

Harrison entered. “I’m sorry to bother you, but this just arrived for you both.” He handed Emmeline a note from the Duchess of Greenville.

“Thank you, Harrison. Lady Langford and I will be going out.” Emmeline turned to Lilly, “I’ll meet you downstairs in ten minutes.”