Page 12 of Loving an Earl (Widows of Mayfair #1)
L illy awoke to an empty bed where Edmund had been. Her body was a little sore from their lovemaking, but she was glad to be a virgin no longer. Keeping it hidden from everyone, including Emmeline, was exhausting. She was always afraid she would slip up and say something telling.
She was nervous for when she saw Edmund again. They had no understanding between them, and she didn’t know what to expect. She rang for Daisy and requested a bath. Once inside the rose-scented hot water, she sighed with relief as her body relaxed and her soreness eased. Her mind went back to last night and Edmund. It was a night she would never forget, and she wondered if he thought of her this morning. As much as she was disappointed he hadn’t woken her up before he’d left, she had to believe he’d done so because he didn’t want to disturb her sleep.
Later in the morning, Lilly and Emmeline went to the Duchess of Greenville’s home for their Ladies’ Society of Mayfair meeting. During the carriage ride, Lilly told her about sleeping with Langford, but it seemed she’d already suspected.
“Harrison expressed his apprehension at letting Langford up to your chambers and came to me,” Emmeline said, watching her closely.
Lilly’s face heated. “I never thought about the household knowing.”
“They don’t—not really. Only that he visited. I told you when you moved in that my servants were very loyal to me. They may gossip among themselves, but it doesn’t get outside. At least not that I’ve ever been aware.” Emmeline grabbed her hand. “How are you feeling? Do you think there is a chance for you two?”
Lilly inhaled and let it out slowly. “I don’t know. We made no commitments. It wasn’t planned—it just happened. I’m glad it did, even if nothing comes of it. I certainly don’t want him to marry me out of some sense of obligation. I want the person I marry to love me.”
“You and I are agreement when it comes to marriage.”
Lilly sighed with relief when the carriage came to a stop. Dwelling on last night and what may come of it would only cause her concern. She was grateful for the Ladies’ Society meeting and the distraction it would provide.
The duchess’s salon was a crush of members when they entered. “Welcome, Mrs. Fitzpatrick, Countess,” Her Grace said. “Mitchel reported that all went well last night. I thank you for going out on such short notice.”
“You are welcome, Your Grace,” Emmeline and Lilly said as they curtsied in unison.
The duchess laughed. “No need to curtsy. You know I don’t go with formalities during these gatherings. We are all equals here as we try to help the less fortunate. Speaking of which, Mrs. Fitzhughes visited Jane this morning and learned the baby is doing better.”
“What a relief,” Lilly said as she started filling baskets with supplies piled high around the drawing room—dry goods, blankets, medicine, clothing, and such. She never inquired as to where the supplies came from. She presumed the duchess had her servants shop for them since it was once every fortnight they made deliveries, except for when there was an emergency such as last evening. Each of the ladies who belonged to the club donated money monthly, including her and Emmeline. Sometimes, anonymous donations were made, but Emmeline guessed those funds came from the duchess herself. Her husband, the duke, was a very wealthy man, and the duchess had a soft spot for those less fortunate.
The duchess’s soft spot was assumed to have grown out of a family connection of her own. Lilly, like the other women here, knew the duchess had had a younger sister who found herself to be with child when she was still unmarried. The father of the child, a viscount, refused to marry her, and she was ruined during her first Season. The sister had apparently been so ashamed that she’d run away with what little pin money she had saved and ended up in a tenement in St. Giles. It was rumored that she and her unborn baby soon died of sickness, and the duchess and her parents didn’t know her whereabouts or about her death until months later. What was known was that shortly after their quiet funeral for her, the duchess had started this organization.
Lilly’s heart broke every time the duchess referred to her sister, Miss Amelia Benedict. The duchess had a heart of pure gold. If not for Henry, would Lilly have faced a similar situation sans the pregnancy? If Henry hadn’t married her, anyone could have taken advantage of her in her precarious situation of being an orphan and homeless.
Emmeline grabbed her arm. “Are you well? I thought for a moment you were going to faint. You swayed on your feet.”
Blinking several times, she put those visions out of her mind. “I’m fine. We can talk later.”
Later came around faster than Lilly wanted. An hour later they were walking back home when Emmeline broached the subject.
“What happened back there?”
Lilly wrapped her arm through Emmeline’s. “When my papa died, what if Henry hadn’t married me and kept me safe? I had visions of living in a situation comparable to the duchess’s sister only without the pregnancy. Although it could have happened to me. A local gentleman might have befriended me and taken advantage. Just thinking about it, my head swarmed with dizziness and my entire body went numb. It was the oddest feeling.”
“You don’t ever have to worry about anything resembling that happening to you,” Emmeline said as she patted Lilly’s arm linked with hers. “You have money and a title. Your life is secure and safe.”
“I know. But it didn’t make it seem any less frightening or real. It must be the anxiety from this business with Hollingsworth and Langford. I’ve not been sleeping well. And then last night...” Her entire body trembled. “I can’t find the words to describe what bombarded my heart and mind when I saw the look on Jane’s face when she saw us. Not to mention the conditions she lives in. My heart hurts even now remembering it.”
*
That afternoon they had a garden party to attend at the Marquess and Marchioness of Devens’s home on the River Thames. As Daisy put the finishing touches to her hair, Lilly hoped Langford and Hollingsworth would not be in attendance. She could use a reprieve from having to deal with either of them. And she would ignore the squeeze to her heart at missing Langford after what they’d shared last night. It still bothered her that he’d left without a word.
Aunt Vivian and Emmeline were waiting for her in the front hall, dressed for the outdoor party. Thankfully it was warmer today and sunny. Lilly wore a lovely peach day dress with matching spencer and a wide-brimmed white hat trimmed with ribbons and flowers the color of her dress. The wide ribbon tied into a perfect bow off-center beneath her chin. Her white parasol had matching peach flowers and ribbon. Emmeline was dressed almost identically, although in a lovely medium blue. Aunt Vivian was dressed in lilac, complete with a turban and a wide-brimmed hat. Which had Lilly once again wondering if Emmeline’s mother had any hair.
The carriage ride was pleasant as they pulled down the wide sweeping drive. After greeting their hosts, the three made their way through beautiful gardens, down a large expanse of green grass to the bank of the Thames. Along the riverbank, tents, tables, chairs, and blankets were spread all around. Guests were milling about, some sitting in small circles and others playing Pall Mall. She didn’t know where to look. It was her first outdoor garden party, and she hummed with excitement. She hadn’t seen Langford yet, but by the feeling she was being watched, she knew he was somewhere in the crowd.
“Mrs. Fitzpatrick, Countess.” A young, handsome gentleman Lilly remembered meeting the night of her very first ball bowed in front of them: Viscount Redford. “Lady Langford, I would be honored if you would join me for a walk.”
After last night with Langford, she did not want to encourage the viscount, but not wanting to hurt his feelings, she said, “Thank you. I would like that.”
She opened her parasol to shade her face from the warm sun. She didn’t take his arm as they strolled on a path wide enough for two through the grass and several small gardens with benches placed here and there. The roses and other flowers delighted her with their light scent. Mixed with the smell of the water, the grass, and flowers, the quality of the air was soothing. Lilly stopped at an exceptional red rosebush bursting with blooms. “This smells amazing.”
Redford took a knife from his boot, cut off a stem, removed the thorns and bowed as he held it out to her. “My lady, a beautiful flower for an even more beautifully enchanting lady.”
Heat kissed her cheeks. She didn’t know what to make of this viscount. “Why, thank you for your generous gift.”
“Shall we rest on the bench over there?”
Lilly found herself escorted to a wooden bench where the roses ended and neatly trimmed evergreens took over.
After they sat, he turned her way and grabbed her hand, the one not holding the rose. “I’ve wanted to attract your attention since the Westport ball, but between Hollingsworth and Langford, I never had the chance after our introduction.” He paused and looked deep into her eyes. Lilly noticed several things at once. His face was classically handsome. However, his nose looked as though he’d broken it at one time. His sandy brown hair was thick, and he had long sideburns, which was the current style she didn’t care for. His clothing was impeccable in pastel shades she normally disliked, but on him they looked fitting. His pale-blue eyes were an unusual shade. They appeared guarded.
“You may call upon me during the social hour,” she said, wondering if she actually wanted to encourage his interest in her. Did she really believe she could ignore her feelings and the pull she felt toward Langford, especially after last night?
Even if that feeling were her heart dropping. Not a note. No flowers. No acknowledgment of what they’d shared. Had it meant nothing to him? Well at the very least his silence let her know with certainty that she couldn’t put all her coins in one fountain. Thinking beyond Langford was necessary. They had no understanding between them, she reminded herself sternly, and that one night might be all they would have.
“With your permission, I would like to call on you tomorrow,” the viscount was saying.
“Yes,” she replied, bringing herself back to the present. But something in the depths of his eyes caused the back of her neck to tingle. Or perhaps it was just a chill in the air. “I believe I should like to rejoin the party.”
Redford stood and held out his hand. “As you wish.”
When Lilly took his gloved hand with hers, nothing happened—no shock, no heat, no connection, nothing.