Page 22 of Loving an Earl (Widows of Mayfair #1)
T he carriage ride to Vauxhall Gardens took time, as carriages clogged the streets in every direction. Lilly fingered her mother’s emerald necklace as she contemplated her life and future. The problem was that Peter wasn’t in it whenever she dreamed or daydreamed about her future.
On the surface, Peter would make a suitable husband. He’d never asked anything of her. He had odd-colored eyes that didn’t show emotion easily, but could she fault him for something he was born with? His kisses were pleasant enough, certainly not revolting. As for the marriage bed, now that she had experienced it with Langford, she wasn’t frightened and was sure she could muddle through.
Tears pooled in her eyes, and she willed them to go away. Her heart constricted quite painfully, and an empty feeling took over in the pit of her stomach. A future with Peter didn’t feel right. It didn’t matter how many good qualities he had; deep down inside her soul, she knew he wasn’t the man for her. If she accepted his proposal it wouldn’t be fair to either of them.
Her eyes fluttered closed and she heard Henry’s voice. “I want you to marry for love and have a family made from love.” She whispered in her mind, I will . Her eyes popped open and she knew she had the strength and courage to turn down Peter’s proposal.
She would refuse his proposal tonight after the ball—no need to ruin everyone’s night by doing it before. In the meantime, she would simply pretend all was fine with Peter and enjoy his company and the ball.
Lilly’s eyes scanned her outdoor surroundings as they finally alighted from the carriage. The place was positively beautiful, and no amount of money was spared by the duke and duchess to make it resemble a fairytale. The dance floor was set up outside in front of the three terraced building, the top resembling a crown. The orchestra played from the first terrace, and oil lamps illuminated the gardens and the perimeter of the fencing. Informal seating was scattered around for socializing or more intimate gatherings. Her heart pounded at the excitement of it all as they made their way to greet their hosts.
Lilly curtsied. “Your Graces. What a beautiful place to hold a ball.”
The duchess whispered, “My dear, please tell me how Langford is.”
Her heart dropped at hearing Langford’s name. “He is recovering nicely.”
“You and Mrs. Fitzpatrick must go dance and have a wonderful evening. I will see you both at my home on Wednesday.”
Lilly curtsied again, “Thank you, Your Grace.”
When they left their hosts, Peter asked Lilly to dance just as the first strings of a waltz played.
She placed her hand on his outreached arm, and they strolled to the dance floor, already overflowing with couples. It was not the first time she’d waltzed with Peter, but she would have preferred not to be this close to him since she decided to turn down his marriage proposal. His hand on her waist felt wrong, and her hand holding his was awkward. But knowing people were watching, she smiled and looked at him, pretending to be having a good time and enjoying his company.
“You seemed quiet during the ride here. Is all well?” As he spoke, the strange blue of his eyes bored into her soul, causing her to quiver. The intensity of his stare felt invasive. “You shivered. Are you cold? I can retrieve your wrap if you’d like.”
He said all the correct things, and his concern seemed genuine. “Thank you, but I’m fine.” He twirled her around the dance floor with ease. He was a wonderful and graceful dancer. Better than her. “This place takes my breath away with its beauty.”
Peter pulled her closer and whispered, “You take my breath away with your beauty.” She fought not to pull away when his hot breath wafted against her ear. His nearness caused her to feel unsettled. How would she ever make it through tonight?
She realized he was staring at her, waiting for her to reply to his compliment. “Thank you. You look handsome and dashing this evening as well.” She wasn’t used to seeing Peter in black and it suited him.
When the final strings of the waltz concluded, Lilly exhaled with relief, and they made their way to Emmeline and Blackstone who were standing near a tree sipping wine.
“You did not dance,” Lilly said, surprised that Blackstone would not take advantage of the opportunity to hold Emmeline close to his heart.
They looked at each other with mischief in their eyes, “We took a quick stroll through the gardens. The smell of the jasmine in bloom is lovely,” Emmeline said with a secret smile.
“I love the smell of jasmine,” Peter said. He turned to Lilly. “Care to take a stroll?”
Lilly took his offered arm, and they entered the dimly lit, private gardens. She had heard about debutantes finding themselves in compromising situations and ruined by scandal in these very gardens. Lilly was thankful, for the first time, she was a widow and protected from that sort of scandal.
When they found a secluded spot, Peter stopped, turned, and took both her hands in his. “I hope you have good news for me?”
Lilly forced herself to look him in the eye. She hadn’t wanted to do this yet, but it seemed there was no avoiding it. She swallowed and cleared her throat, trying to get the words out. “I’m sorry, Peter. I cannot marry you.”
“What?”
“I’m sorry, I—”
“I heard you.” His voice deepened, and his eyes hardened as he sneered at her. Right before her eyes his jovial nature changed. His once handsome face twisted up with hatred, and he looked at her with disgust, making him resemble the devil himself. She knew she’d made the right decision if this person was hidden beneath his gentle manners.
The sudden change was startling, and she struggled to understand why he should react so strongly, so angrily. “Why should you want to marry me so?”
“Because I need your money. I’m near bankrupt. Courting you cost me a fortune, one I didn’t have. I inherited a poor title and estates. Not to mention the fact that my cousin’s wife is spoiled along with her three daughters. And I’m expected to give them dowries and pay for their introduction into Society.”
“But why me?”
“You were easy pickings—a young widow, her head in the clouds, looking for love.” He spat on the ground. “Love doesn’t exist, you stupid, foolish child.”
He was beginning to truly scare her. As she stepped back to put distance between them, he stepped forward. His arms wrapped around her back tightly, refusing to let her go.
“How dare you waste my time? If you do not marry me, I will see you ruined. I will tell everyone that we had a tryst in these gardens, and you will certainly look the part.” While keeping one hand around her waist, he plucked the pins from her hair and used his hand to disarrange her tresses. “Now let us see to mussing that pretty gown of yours.”
“Don’t you dare!” she cried out. “Get your hands off me!” Fear penetrated deep inside her being, something she’d never experienced before. Widow or not, he was right—this would be more than enough to land her in the middle of a ruinous scandal. What chance would she have for love then? “Don’t you dare...”
One moment he was holding her and the next he was gone. Lilly tumbled to her knees and vomited up the glass of wine she’d drunk. When she looked up she saw Langford punch Peter—no, Redford—right in the face, and he dropped like a stone.
“Are you hurt?” Langford’s uneasy voice asked as he and Blackstone yanked Redford up off the ground and held him between them.
“How did you find me?” she asked as Emmeline helped her stand and kept an arm around her waist to steady her. Lilly didn’t think she could stand alone as her legs wobbled.
“Langford came looking for you with some disturbing news about Redford, and we knew we had to find you.” Emmeline hugged her gently. “And not a moment too soon. Do you think you have the strength to walk through the gardens to the street where Langford’s coach is waiting? We can’t go back through the party without causing a scene.”
“Yes.” Lilly looked down at her clothing only slightly disheveled. “Do I look that bad?”
“No,” Emmeline answered. “But Redford does with his busted nose and blood all over his face and shirt.”
“It serves him right.” Lilly couldn’t help herself. She burst out laughing, then covered her mouth when her laughter turned to sobs.
They snuck away from the ball easily enough without being seen, Emmeline still with a protective arm around Lilly and Redford being dragged along between Langford and Blackstone. When they reached Langford’s carriage, Lilly was shocked to find two more men standing there.
“We will take it from here, Lord Langford,” one of them intoned.
“Who are these men?” Lilly asked, her mouth suddenly dry.
As the men took a semiconscious Redford to a small coach not far away, Langford said, “They are men I hired to investigate Redford. I’ll explain the rest in the carriage.”
Blackstone turned to them and said, “We will walk to my carriage to give you two some privacy.” He offered Emmeline his arm, and they walked on.
Langford, leaning heavily on his cane, which Lilly hadn’t even noticed until now, helped her inside the carriage. But instead of sitting opposite her, he sat beside her and reached for her gloved hand. “Don’t be angry with me, but I hired a Bow Street Runner to investigate Redford. Those were his men. They will see him delivered to a magistrate.”
She turned to look at him. “Why did you hire them in the first place?”
“The more I thought on Redford, the more convinced I was that something wasn’t right. And I’m glad I looked closer. If you had married him...” His entire body trembled. “It was he who set the fire in the barn that killed the previous viscount.”
Lilly gasped.
“The viscount had several daughters but no sons to inherit the title, and Redford was tired of waiting for him to die and let the title come to him naturally.” He groaned. “If you’d married him, no doubt he would have killed you as well before long to get his hands on your money. Bloody hell.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “It’s all my fault you find yourself in this predicament for having his name on that blasted list I made you.”
She squeezed his hand. “It’s not your fault. He fooled all of us.” She leaned her head on his shoulder. “Thank you for saving me.”
“If anything had happened to you... I’m not sure what I would’ve done.”
“I’m fine now, thanks to you.”
*
Edmund supposed in the end that it was a good thing that he’d gone a bit mad from boredom and inactivity during his recovery at his townhome in Mayfair. He’d been mostly preoccupied with visions of Lilly with Redford, that was where his madness lay. It had caused him to lash out at his servants, for which he would forever be ashamed. But Blackstone and Caldwell, who had visited daily, agreed that something was odd and untrustworthy about Redford.
So Edmund had called for a Bow Street Runner he’d worked with regarding their business and had hired him to poke about. It had taken several weeks, but the runner had done his job. Now Lilly was safe and Redford would die in Newgate or hang at the gallows for murder. He deserved no better.
When his carriage pulled up to Emmeline’s house, he wasn’t ready to let Lilly out of his sight. Still holding her hand, he swiveled in the seat and took her other hand in his as well. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that tonight. Believe me, I tried to reach you as fast as I could, but my leg, well, it still gives me trouble.”
Her lips tilted up into a beautiful smile. “You saved me. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.”
He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Good night, Lilly.”
Still looking at him, her smile faltered, her expression shy and hesitant. “Would you stay with me tonight? I don’t want to be alone.” Her gaze lowered and she turned a bright shade of pink. “I don’t mean...”
He grinned and his eyes softened. “I know what you mean. And, yes. I will stay with you. I owe you for caring for me when I was recovering from my accident.”
Her head tipped up and she frowned. “You don’t owe me anything. Never mind, I’ll be fine alone.”
He touched her cheek and smiled. “That’s not what I’m staying. Forgive me for saying that I owe you. I will stay because you asked me, as a friend.” He knocked on the roof and the door opened and the stairs were pulled down. Edmund helped Lilly exit the vehicle. Harrison had the front door open as their feet hit the top step. He ignored the censuring look from the butler, but Edmund respected the man for looking out for the three unmarried ladies living here.
Lilly led the way up to her chambers and left him while she entered her dressing room. He leaned on his cane to steady himself and breathed deeply, trying to ease the sexual desire running rampant through his body. It remembered the last time he’d visited these rooms. But he was not with Lilly in her chambers tonight to sleep with her. She’d had a terrible shock and only needed the safety and comfort he could give her. And he wanted to prove to her that he was a good man. Perhaps he was not completely worthy of her, but he hoped to become such a man someday. As for now, he was at Lilly’s disposal. Whatever she needed from him, he would supply.
When Lilly emerged from her dressing room in a flowing white nightgown and matching robe, her silky blond hair touching her waist, all the air in his lungs dispersed, and he bent forward, gasping for air.
“Is something wrong?” She was at his side, touching him in no time, her voice laced with concern.
He almost laughed but swallowed it down. Laughing at a time like this would be in very bad form. Get a hold of yourself, Edmund, you fool. “No. I’m all right.” He stood up and glanced at her delicate hand on his arm. A hand that sent scorching heat curling up his arm through his shoulder and down to curl around his heart.
Her brows furrowed. “You are not acting all right.” Her hand went to his cravat. “Here, let me help you. You will feel more relaxed if you shed some of your clothing.” She untied his cravat and removed his coat and waistcoat until he stood before her in his linen shirt, breeches, and boots. “Sit, let me help you with your boots.” He stifled the groan trying to escape his throat. Did she have any idea what she was doing to him? Once his boots were removed, he wiggled his toes in his stockings and cleared his throat. “Go to bed. I’ll sleep on the chaise longue.”
She rose up on tiptoe and brushed her warm, soft lips across his cheek. “Thank you.”
As he stretched out on the chaise longue with his legs hanging over the end, he heard the rustle of the bed covers and then her sigh. He reached beneath his head for a pillow, covered his face with it and groaned.
After an hour or so, he realized there would be no sleeping tonight with the woman of his dreams so close by and making murmuring sounds in her sleep.