Page 26 of Loving an Earl (Widows of Mayfair #1)

D aisy was waiting for Lilly when she dragged her feet inside her chambers.

“My lady,” Daisy said as she hurried to her side. “You must be exhausted from staying out all night. Would you care for a bath?”

Lilly would love a bath but didn’t trust herself not to fall asleep in the tub. “Perhaps later. Right now, I’d like to change into my night rail and sleep the whole day away.” After Daisy helped her with her clothing and tucked her in bed, Lilly lay on her back with her eyes open. Tired as she was, she was afraid to close them, afraid of what she would see.

Sleep called to her, though, and she succumbed to it. At first, she slept peacefully, her body and mind recovering from the night’s ordeal. Then, out of nowhere, her peace became turbulent.

The carriage she rode in bounced her around, causing her entire body to become bruised and battered. The darkness inside the carriage was oppressive and didn’t leave space for even a breath of air. Across from her sat a man dressed all in black. The hood of his cape covered his features. When he abducted her she never got a glimpse of his face. Who was he? And why had he taken her? Afraid to voice her questions, she stared at him, hoping he would speak and ease her fears.

Unfortunately, when he spoke, her fears were anything but eased. He spoke with a deep, guttural, almost animalistic voice. She couldn’t see him doing it, but she could hear him repeatedly smacking and licking his lips. The sound made her stomach clench with sickness. He reached up to his hood with gloved hands that looked deformed, and she gasped and then held her breath.

When the hood fell back, a scream tore from her throat. He had the face of a gargoyle. Was it a mask? After all, she had been attending a masquerade ball when he abducted her. Of course, it was a mask. Gargoyles were not real. With wide eyes, she continued staring at the man, and when he removed his mask, another scream escaped her lips.

The face staring back at her was Langford.

No. No. No. Her mind silently screamed out. Not Langford. He would never hurt her. He began laughing. Deep, deranged laughter shook the carriage, bouncing off the walls and entering her ears. She covered them with her hands and shook her head from side to side, praying the noise would stop.

When it was finally quiet, she cracked open her eyes and fainted dead away as the insane face of Redford flashed before her eyes instead.

“Lilly, wake up.”

She bolted up, almost crashing into Emmeline, who was right beside her, her hand covering her pounding heart. “Why are you here?” Lilly’s head swirled with fog, similar to when she overindulged on sherry with Henry when he still lived.

Emmeline’s worried expression softened. “You were having a nightmare. I could hear you down the hall.”

“Oh. What time is it?”

“It’s half past one. Langford is downstairs worried sick about you. He left briefly to clean up and change his clothes after that long ride, and now that he’s returned, I don’t think he’ll leave until he sees you. Are you up for a visit?”

“No, but there is much to discuss. Please send Daisy up, and then Langford at two.”

One of Emmeline’s brows shot up. “Do you think it is wise to meet with him in your room alone?”

Emmeline did not have to come right out and mention what had happened the other times he’d visited her chambers, but it was implied. Indeed, it was not wise, but Lilly didn’t have the energy to go downstairs, and she’d promised him at the masquerade they would talk. And honestly, the sooner they did, the sooner she could look to her future, whatever it held.

“No. But I am nonetheless.”

Emmeline hugged her close. “I hope you know what you’re doing. And I’m here for you when you are ready to talk. Please don’t think you have to deal with this by yourself. You have family and friends worried about you.”

“I know. I just need time.”

*

Daisy helped her dress quickly and finished doing her hair just as a knock sounded on her chamber door. Lilly’s hands shook as she pinched her pale cheeks to give her a healthier glow. “Please let Lord Langford in on your way out, Daisy.”

Her maid eyed her warily, no doubt conflicted about letting the earl in her room. But Lilly knew she would do as she was asked. “Yes, my lady.”

Panic hit Lilly as she wondered where she should sit when she greeted Langford, and she decided to hurry to the chaise longue, facing the hearth. Sitting perched on the end, her posture straight and tall, her hands folded in her lap, she tried to exhibit ease and grace even though her insides rattled the rafters. Perceiving his presence behind her, she said, “Come sit beside me, Langford.”

He inhaled and exhaled audibly. “I think it is time you used my given name.”

Very well. “Come sit beside me, Edmund.”

“Thank you, Lilly. Don’t mind if I do.” He leaned heavily on his cane as he made his way toward her. The paleness of his complexion and the pain she saw flashing in his eyes at each step gave away how discomforted he was.

The cushion dipped as he sat close to her. Close enough that his thigh brushed against hers. “You wished to speak to me.”

His hands shot through his hair. “Yes. There is much to discuss. I will start with what happened with Redford. How are you faring? Are you feeling comfortable to speak of it?”

“I am fortunate not to be in Gretna Green and married to him. Indeed, I am lucky to be alive because I believe that his ultimate goal was only to attain my funds.”

“No doubt.” He turned sideways and took her hands in his large warm ones. Comforting heat spread throughout her body. “I know I asked you when we rescued you, but did he hurt you? Did he take advantage of you?”

The anguish radiating from his dark-brown eyes and his concern for her made her answer quickly. “No. He did not hurt me besides pulling on my arm as he dragged me away from the ball and into the carriage. He didn’t touch me otherwise.”

Edmund exhaled loudly, and his face and eyes softened with relief. “Thank God.” He intertwined her fingers with his. “I’ve never been more frightened in all my life. This is all my fault. If I hadn’t put his name on that blasted list—”

“We’ve been over this before. It’s not your fault. Redford told me he targeted me because I was a young widow anxious to find love and had no parents looking out for me. He took advantage of my situation. He knew exactly what to say and do.” She tightened her grip with Edmund’s fingers. “I would like to pretend I never met the man.” She paused and took a breath. “Redford came up behind me at the masquerade ball. He dragged me out the servants’ entrance.” Lilly, with a knot in her chest, explained all that happened until he and Caldwell rescued her. It didn’t ease her mind as she’d hoped it would, but it did feel good to confide in someone.

Reaching out with his hand, he placed it under her chin, tilting her head up to meet his compassionate eyes. “If I could wave a magic wand and make those memories disappear, I would.” He leaned forward, placing his tender lips on hers. “I would do anything for you.”

She rested her head upon his shoulder. “Will you talk to me?”

He brushed his cheek against the top of her head. “What do you want to know?”

“I want to know what you were thinking when you asked me to marry you.”

Her hand rested against his chest, rose and fell as he inhaled and exhaled. “I felt so connected to you when we made love—both the first and second time. The first time I ignored it. Especially after I found the papers. And I will readily admit I acted badly. Uncle Henry was wise for what he did, preparing for your future without him, and I acted like an arse.

“The second time I messed things up by proposing as I did. It was hasty and poorly considered. I’ve had time to think and I never should have asked after spending the night in your bed. Please know it had nothing to do with feeling a sense of honor or duty or because I had bedded you.” He placed his hand on top of hers, which rested on his chest, and squeezed gently. “I asked you to marry me because I love you. And since that day I have fallen deeper in love.” Another squeeze. “You are strong and brave. And I am so proud of you.”

“Thank you,” Lilly whispered.

“I have a question,” he said, his voice more relaxed in tone than when he first started speaking.

“Yes?”

“What were you thinking when I blurted out that awful proposal?”

“Before you asked, I was feeling relaxed and happy. I finally felt as though we understood each other. We had talked about my life with Henry, and his death. But when you asked me to marry you, it sounded careless and insincere. My heart shriveled up and died. My mind screamed at me to run away and hide.”

He kissed the top of her head and his fingertips caressed her hand. “I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I have much to learn about you and how to treat you as you deserve. I hope you will allow me the chance to do so.”

“I would like that,” she said as her heart melted and she realized they could be each other’s future.

“I would also like to apologize for my rude and bad behavior since the moment we met. I have no excuse to give you. Just know that nothing resembling it will ever happen again.”

“You are forgiven.”

“I would like to invite you to my home for a private dinner tomorrow night,” he said, his voice still not back to its confident tone.

The answer came easily to her. “Yes.”

“I will send my carriage for you at six.” He untangled his body from hers, and she missed the connection instantly. “I will leave you to rest.” He bent over her and kissed her cheek. “Until tomorrow.”

“Edmund,” she said right before he exited, “I love you, too.” Sighing with contentment, Lilly laid down on the chaise and drifted off with a smile on her face.

*

Edmund, with the help of his cane, moved around the dining room, adjusting the vases overflowing with flowers on the table. His nervous energy had driven his housekeeper, Mrs. Lewis, mad all afternoon. But everything must be perfect for tonight. The rest of his life rested on this evening going perfectly. If he didn’t calm down, though, he was liable to vomit the moment Lilly entered the front door.

“Sit, my lord,” Mrs. Lewis said. “Everything will be perfect. The cook has outdone herself with the menu, and if you don’t relax, you won’t be able to eat anything. Do you have the ring?”

Inside his jacket pocket, Edmund’s fingers curled around a black box holding a ring of emeralds and diamonds he had commissioned for Lilly. After he blurted out the first proposal, he had visited a jeweler. Though up until yesterday, he wasn’t convinced Lilly would ever wear it. And he couldn’t give her the Langford family ring Henry had given her. Their marriage deserved something new, something that symbolized their new and blossoming love. A future full of happiness, contentment, and hopefully babies—many babies. Lilly would make a wonderful mother. Love, caring, and devotion were ingrained into her, as were patience and understanding.

“Lady Langford is here,” the butler announced. “She is waiting in the drawing room, my lord.”

Straightening his cravat, Edmund made his way with feet that barely touched the ground. While pausing in the doorway of the drawing room, a smile tugged on his lips, and his heart accelerated when he took in the vision before him. Standing at the chessboard, with her fingers caressing the pieces and a faraway look on her face, was the woman of his dreams. She was dressed in a deep green that made him think of her lovely eyes and the ring securely tucked inside his jacket pocket.

“Thank you for coming, Lilly.”

Without taking her hand off the chess piece, she looked his way, smiled shyly, and everything in his world righted. This widow of his uncle, who had tossed his world upside down the moment he met her, was also responsible for making it right again.

“It seems strange to be here again. I only spent time here twice, but it is a handsome home and one I’ve missed. It has a masculine air about it, and since we never spent a great amount of time here, I never made changes.”

“I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable being here.” Bloody hell, he hadn’t thought about causing her any pain or sorrow.

“No. Not at all.” As she moved around the room, she touched several decorative pieces. “It feels good to be here. Soothing and comfortable.”

They were interrupted when a servant entered to announce dinner was ready.

Edmund held out his arm. Gracefully, Lilly placed her gloved hand on his forearm. That light touch had heat coursing through his entire body. He hoped she felt it as well. Instead of a footman seating Lilly, Edmund did the honors. He had asked that only two footmen be present, and they had been instructed to place the food on the sideboard as he wanted to serve Lilly himself. This dinner was for her. And hopefully, after dinner would be for them.

Making his way to the server, Edmund spooned fish stew from a tureen and placed a bowl at each of their places. He sat, unfolded his napkin on his lap and said, “I hope you enjoy tonight’s menu. Mrs. Howard slaved all day making your favorite foods when I told her you were coming for dinner.”

Sitting to his right, Lilly spooned the thick soup into her mouth and moaned. “Delicious. Just as I remember. I’m surprised she remembered my favorite foods.”

“You are quite unforgettable.” He poured wine into two stemmed glasses.

Pink tinted her cheeks as she continued eating. “Have you decided to make any changes to the townhome? Or Langford Manor?”

“Uncle Henry had impeccable taste. I find nothing needs to be done, although I am thinking of redecorating the main bedchambers at both places. Nothing major. Mostly furniture, wallcoverings, and accent colors. Do you have any suggestions?” Pushing back his chair, he removed both empty bowls from the table to the server and filled two plates with roasted potatoes, buttery green beans, and rare roasted venison with a dark gravy.

“Whatever color and style you choose will be perfect, I’m sure,” Lilly said. “This looks delicious.”

“It does.” Before he partook, he refilled both their wine glasses.

Once the main course was finished, the footman placed nuts, assorted fruits, and confections on the table before them and removed their plates. Edmund filled a dessert plate with an assortment for both of them to share. As the time to propose properly crept upon him, he topped off his glass of wine and ignored the sweat soaking the back of his shirt.

“Our cook... I mean, your cook makes the lightest buttery shortcrust of anyone.”

He wanted to say she’d had it right the first time but ignored the urge to utter the words. “It’s a lovely night. Would you care to stroll in the gardens?”

*

“Yes. That would be nice,” she answered as Edmund pulled out her chair.

Instead of holding out his arm, he curled his large hand around hers. They stopped in the front hall to retrieve her wrap from the butler, then exited the front door, making their way around back to the private gardens. All the while, he kept her hand in his. They were skin-to-skin since they’d both removed their gloves for eating and left them on the dining room table. The heat from his warm hand heated her insides even though there was a slight chill to the air.

Lit lanterns scattered throughout the garden made for an intimate glow. “This was always my favorite place to be in town, whether night or day,” Lilly said as she breathed in the night air. “Jasmine. I have three favorite scents: roses, lavender, and jasmine. All of which grow in this garden.”

Walking hand in hand, they meandered through the granite stone path’s twists and turns until they reached a garden bench. To Lilly’s surprise, a tray with a champagne bottle and two flutes rested on a garden table. “What is this?” she asked with a smile and a flurry in her heart.

Edmund picked a jasmine blossom off a nearby plant and tucked it behind Lilly’s ear. “Be patient, my dear. All will be revealed in due time.” Picking up the champagne bottle, Edmund removed the cork to a loud pop, and liquid immediately fizzed over the side. He filled each flute half full. He handed her one while turning out a graceful bow. “For the lovely lady. Please have a seat.”

Since her knees threatened to buckle, she wisely sat before she collapsed onto the ground. Edmund joined her on the bench.

Edmund took a black box out of his jacket pocket. Lilly followed his every move with bated breath. “Lilly, my dear, I have loved you from the moment I met you when you turned around from the window at Langford Manor, and your beautiful face lit up with a smile. So flabbergasted was I, I lashed out. I’ve asked for your forgiveness for the cruel words and know that I never meant any of them.” He brought her hands up to his lips and kissed each of her fingers.

The warmth from his lips traveled up her arm and wrapped around her heart.

“Lilliana, will you make me the happiest gentleman alive, and marry me and become my countess?”

Tears trickled down her cheeks, and her entire body pulsed with joy. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

Edmund slipped the emerald-and-diamond ring onto the third finger of her left hand. It fit perfectly. “I love you. And will love you until my dying breath.”

Her eyes fell to her trembling hand and the gorgeous ring adorning it. The design and stones were everything she would have chosen. She looked up into the amber-tinged, brown eyes of her now fiancé and said, her voice wavering, “I love you. And will love you until the end of time.”

Champagne flutes were forgotten. Edmund stood, pulled Lilly into his arms, and kissed her with all the passion and love they shared.