Page 75 of Love or Your Money Back

CHAPTER

A good brand can be summed up in three words.

Disney is cosy, family, fairy-tale.

Tiffany’s is classy, romantic and timeless.

And the Friedman-Stark brand is joyful, quirky and just a little bit magic.

As a marketing expert, Freddy believes in brand consistency. Which is why he says his wedding vows with a delighted smile on his face, the love-of-his-life on his arm and a signed contract in his pocket.

Freddy’s wedding vows are twelve simple words that sum up everything he needs to tell Kat in one sentence. A fantastic bit of copy, if Freddy says so himself.

Freddy doesn’t mind admitting he agonised over the vows.

Comparatively, flying over black truffles from Ireland, hiring a fleet of silver-service waiting staff and booking the British Library as a private wedding venue was easy.

He finally got the words on paper, eyes bloodshot, around 1 am.

Then he scrawled a note for Tim: Pay our writers more in future – it’s a bloody hard job. ’

What are those twelve words? You’ll have to subscribe to Freddy’s mailing list to find out. But suffice it to say, they made Kat and everyone in the audience tear up. Well, everyone except Duncan, who Freddy suspected was playing Minecraft.

So far, Freddy would give the wedding nine out of ten. It loses a point because Kat disagreed with him whilst exchanging wedding bands. It was Freddy’s fault. He made the mistake of saying, ‘Okay, Ms Friedman. Time to become Mrs Stark.’

He never should have said that.

Kat, of course, declined to take his name. Then Freddy panicked and made an ungentlemanly comment about not wanting to change his stationery. But Kat’s hard stare brought him back on track and he agreed to become the Friedman-Starks.

On reflection, Freddy should have dropped a name change agreement into the contract. Kat wouldn’t have noticed. No one reads contracts properly.

Luckily, the wedding breakfast was a total triumph.

Freddy themed the meal around classic literature, with a Great Gatsby-inspired

champagne tower, a Moby Dick

seafood platter and Jane Eyre’s

wedding feast of roast meats, cakes and wine. All total wins.

Now to marriage and happily ever after.

Freddy is no longer a lone wolf. He is a joint partner in one of the world’s most visionary brands. And he’s rather hoping that Kat never asks for her money back.