Page 55 of Love or Your Money Back

CHAPTER

Freddy strides into Frankfurt’s infamous Hunky Dory cocktail bar with a purpose. To get so drunk he can float above reality, rather than painfully engage with it. He grabs a seat, deciding not to bother with the piecemeal German he learnt while dating supermodel, Heidi Klum.

‘Hello, my good sir.’ Freddy waves at the distinctively dressed bartender, who wears denim jeans, a denim shirt and a studded denim jacket. ‘I’ll go for any cocktail you have with tequila in it.’

The barman raises an arched eyebrow towards a receding, blond hairline and a cowboy hat. ‘If I am to take that sentence literally, it means you will leave if I serve you a tequila cocktail.’

Freddy is impressed. ‘You speak English better than I do.’

‘Yes, that is probably true.’ The barman pours Fortaleza tequila into a golden shaker. ‘By the way, you can’t sit there.’

‘Where?’ Freddy looks around.

‘There. At the end of the bar. You must move to the middle of the bar. We don’t let people sit apart from others and drink alone. It looks too much like alcoholism.’

‘I’m not an alcoholic,’ says Freddy. ‘I’m a confused man in love, wanting to talk through my troubles with a sober member of staff. Surely, I’m your stock in trade?’

The barman laughs and places a full-to-the-brim martini glass by Freddy’s elbow. ‘Yes, I suppose that is true. Well, since the bar is empty, tell me your troubles.’

‘I already did. I’m in love.’

‘That doesn’t sound like a trouble.’

‘It’s the biggest, scariest trouble there is. Especially because the woman I’m in love with is marrying someone else. Someone I set her up with.’

Dimly, Freddy realises the barman is, in fact, wearing quadruple denim because his cowboy boots have denim panels.

‘I don’t understand why you would set up someone you love with another person,’ says the barman. ‘But I’m sure you will clarify.’

Freddy acknowledges with a nod that this is reasonable. ‘I set her up before

I realised I was in love with her.’

‘Does she like the person you set her up with?’

‘Yeah, in a lukewarm sort of way. I mean, Ahmet is a decent, loyal person. He’ll be a good husband. But he doesn’t love her the way I do.’

‘How do you know that?’

‘Just a feeling.’

‘Well, maybe he will fall in love with her the way you do. Sometimes, love takes time.’

‘Yeah. Maybe.’

‘How does this woman feel about you?’

‘She loves me too. She just can’t admit it to herself.’ The moment Freddy says the words out loud, he knows it’s true. He gives a short, delighted laugh. ‘She loves me too!’

‘So what are you doing here, then?’ the barman asks. ‘Sounds like the two of you should be together.’

‘You’re right.’ Freddy stands. ‘What the hell am I doing here, dulling my capabilities with alcohol when I should be telling the woman I love how I feel? I’ll go tell her right now.’

‘That sounds like an excellent plan.’

‘Thank you.’ Freddy throws twenty euros on the bar. ‘You can drink my cocktail. You’re the wisest man I ever met. Do you know that? Despite your quadruple denim fiasco.’

‘I think

I want to say thank you.’

When Freddy strolls back into the hotel suite, he feels like he’s come home.

Kat’s laptop sits on the coffee table, perfectly aligned with the table edge and a decorative fruit bowl.

The fruit bowl, if Freddy isn’t very much mistaken, has now been rearranged by colour and size order.

There is a small box of Tetley teabags on the marble kitchen counter and a travel-sized sachet of Alpen cereal, also perfectly parallel to their surroundings.

In fact, the whole room has now been arranged at parallels and right angles.

Now Freddy has worked out what’s bothering him it feels so right

, being in this space with Kat and her things.

‘Kat?’ He hangs his coat on the coat stand. ‘Are you here, darling? I was hoping we could talk.’

There’s a scuffling sound in Kat’s room, and it occurs to Freddy that Kat might be stuck under hot water bottles again, alone and in pain. The thought sends a shot of adrenalin through his body.

‘Hey, Kat?’ He knocks hard on her bedroom door. ‘Are you okay?’

More scuffling. Then the door opens, and Ahmet appears.

‘Ahmet!’ Freddy leaps back in shock. ‘What the hell are you doing here?’

‘I might ask you the same question.’ Ahmet looks stern and serious. ‘I hear you’re sharing a suite with my fiancée.’

‘Um …’

‘Ha!’ Ahmet slaps Freddy’s shoulder. A weak slap, in Freddy’s opinion, that does not convey the dominance it’s supposed to.

‘Only joking Freddy. I know the two of you ended up in the same suite by mistake. Still, you couldn’t blame me for feeling worried.

A man like you, alone in a suite with his fiancé.

Lucky, I flew out here to surprise Kat, isn’t it? ’

‘Yeah.’ Freddy lets out a long breath he didn’t know he was holding. ‘Really lucky.’

Kat appears behind Ahmet, mercifully still fully dressed. ‘What are you doing here, Freddy? I thought you were staying out late.’

‘Yeah. That was the plan.’ Freddy swallows, throat tight. ‘But I got thinking about that room service dinner. So I came back.’

‘Kat and I were rather hoping for some alone time, mate.’ Ahmet says the word ‘mate’ like the awkward nerd he is. ‘Why don’t you go out and find a love bird of your own?’

Freddy would rather swallow razors than leave Kat alone with Ahmet right now. He’d even swallow the Gary-boy razor with a ten-bladed head, which is Salt Marketing’s latest runaway campaign. But instead, he digs deep and says, ‘Yeah. Sure. I’ll give you some privacy.’

‘Wait!’ Kat takes an urgent step forward. ‘We can’t leave you wandering around a strange city after all that alcohol you had on the plane. Stay with us. We’ll have dinner together.’

‘Frankfurt isn’t a strange city for Freddy, Kat,’ says Ahmet. ‘He once dated the German supermodel, Heidi Klum –’

‘Freddy is staying.’ Kat still has a firm grip on Freddy’s arm. ‘He’s part of the Little Voice family. We’re all on the Yellow Brick Road together.’

‘Great!’ Freddy grabs the room service menu. ‘So, what are we all having?’