Page 26 of Love or Your Money Back
CHAPTER
‘You’ve arranged dates with Ahmet and Marcus this
weekend?’ Freddy poses like a three-piece suit model, both hands flat on the glass table in the Salt Marketing boardroom.
‘Yes.’ I deliver myself an espresso from the gleaming Barista Robot. ‘Look, they asked me
. I’ve followed most
of the rules and I’m in a hurry.’
‘Yes, but you can’t look
like you’re in a hurry.’ Freddy starts pacing. ‘You’re an exclusive product. You’re not supposed to say yes to the first date. We need to do some damage limitation. You’ll have to be fashionably late. Got it?’
‘But that’s so rude –’
‘Tough,’ says Freddy. ‘Don’t arrange any
more dates without running it by me. Okay? And by the way, you’ll be moving offices next week.’
‘I’ll be what?’
‘Moving offices,’ says Freddy. ‘I’ve found you a great building. Modern design. Clean toilets. Better access for anyone with a disability. The lease starts next Monday.’
‘But we can’t afford offices with clean toilets.’
‘You can now Book Haven are stocking your titles.’
‘Book Haven isn’t stocking our titles. There was an issue –’
‘Yeah, I know. Your idiot fat tech guy uploaded the wrong book. Don’t worry.
I ironed that out for you. And put systems in place so the aforementioned fat tech guy is less able to make errors in future.
I also made sure the reprinted copies were delivered within a day, instead of the two weeks your team predicted. You’re welcome.’
‘Duncan is not fat. He is … pastry challenged –’
There’s a knock at the conference room door.
‘Come!’ Freddy bellows.
Freddy’s assistant, Tim, puts his head around the door. ‘Mr Stark. I just wanted to let you know, your Frankfurt Book Fair meetings are now confirmed –’
‘Great, Tim.’ Freddy barks. ‘Put them into the calendar and leave us be.’
‘You’re coming to the Frankfurt Book Fair?’ I ask.
‘Of course I am,’ says Freddy. ‘I need to immerse myself in the industry. How else am I going to turn Little Voice into Big Voice?’
‘I didn’t think a book fair would be your style.’
‘It isn’t.’ Freddy drops into his seat. ‘But if I’m making changes to a publishing company, I need to know what works and doesn’t.’
‘No one in publishing knows what works and what doesn’t,’ I say. ‘It’s all a lucky numbers game.’
‘You’re wrong there,’ says Freddy. ‘Some publishers are doing consistently better than others. Good marketing, strategy and efficiency work in every industry, and I intend to find out what works.’
‘You know you’re not allowed to get rid of my staff, don’t you?’
‘I know. Listen. Maybe I was a little hasty when we first met. Your staff are doing better. The systems, or lack of them, were the bigger problem. Also, you micromanaging and doing everyone’s jobs for them.’
‘I’ll take that as your best attempt at an apology.’ I down my coffee and stand. ‘I’d better head back to the team. See you next week. Wish me luck on my dates.’
‘Wait a minute.’ Freddy grabs a tablet from his man bag and starts whizzing his finger around. ‘Good data is at the heart of every successful marketing campaign. You should fill in evaluation forms when you go out with Ahmet and Marcus. Here’s the main form we use.’
I look at Freddy’s tablet. ‘Ease of use?’
‘You’ll have to use your imagination a little,’ says Freddy. ‘But this form covers all the basics. So. Who are you dating first? Ahmet or Marcus?’