Page 31 of Love or Your Money Back

CHAPTER

Royal Ascot has another name.

The husband maker.

Thousands of single women visit the event in their best hats, gloves and shoes every year, hoping to meet a high-ticket husband.

Freddy has always enjoyed Royal Ascot for business networking opportunities. The slew of champagne-drunk, well-groomed women throwing themselves at him is just a pleasant bonus. But Freddy is only interested in one woman today.

Kat.

She looks incredible. Freddy can’t take his eyes off her, and nor can any other man in the Queen Anne Enclosure at Royal Ascot.

Kat wears a light pink, fitted dress that covers her shoulders, wrists and ankles, but hugs every curve of her body like she’s been sewn into it. Her hat is a stack of fake books, piled high on her head with a black veil falling over her tastefully made-up face. She looks like a billion dollars.

As Freddy shows Kat around the T&C private box, he finds himself wondering what it would be like if they were a couple. It would be suicide. But it would also be amazing. They could take over the world.

No. NO.

Freddy has a stern word with himself. Don’t think like that.

No sleeping with the product. Enjoy her company with your testicles intact.

But still … he has to admit that Katerina is by far the most interesting woman he’s ever met.

And it’s not just about what she looks like.

Looks are the least interesting thing about her. He glances at Kat again.

‘Stop checking your watch,’ he whispers. ‘It makes you look nervous.’

‘I am nervous,’ says Kat. ‘I’ve never been away from the team for this long before.’

‘That watch is a black-pearl Cartier,’ says Freddy, remembering how long it took him to find the one-of-a-kind timepiece that reflected Kat’s stormy personality.

‘And also a special edition. It does not deserve so many anxious glances. And your team will be just fine. You’ve only been away from them for an hour or so. They’ll cope.’

‘I’m not so sure,’ says Kat, checking her phone. ‘The office doesn’t function without me. Look, they’ve already called five times. Oh no, and now my nanny cam app isn’t connecting.’

‘You have a nanny cam?’ Freddy asks. ‘At the office?’

‘Of course,’ says Kat, distractedly. ‘You don’t think I’d leave Duncan unsupervised in our beautiful new workspace, do you? He might accidentally start a fire –’

‘These are full-grown adults. Adults you hired.’

‘And I love them, but they need looking after.’ Kat frowns at her phone. ‘Oh god. A message from Gabriela. They’re locked out of the new team comms software.’

‘So tell them to call the IT department at T&C.’

‘They won’t know how to do that,’ says Kat. ‘By the time I’ve told them how to find the number, it will be quicker to just call myself.’

Freddy shakes his head. ‘Typical female business sense.’

‘I beg your pardon?’

‘Consider yourself pardoned.’

‘I meant, what in-utterable piece of sexism are you alluding to now, Freddy Stark?’

‘It’s not sexism,’ says Freddy. ‘It’s data.

Female entrepreneurs commonly fail to outsource and keep their organisations small as a result.

A good company should function, no matter who is in the office that day.

Men are typically more comfortable outsourcing.

Meaning they do less work and earn more money. ’

‘Outsourcing is difficult.’ Kat goes to bite a fingernail, notices it's manicured and decides against it. ‘It’s quicker for me to make the call –’

‘It will always be quicker if you keep doing it,’ says Freddy. ‘But over time, your team will learn to be as fast as you. Maybe even faster.’

‘I’ll delegate when I’m less busy.’

‘That time will never come. Delegate today. Tell your team to call IT and let them figure out how to do it. Then ignore all their messages for the rest of the day.’

‘Ignore them?’ Kat looks horrified. ‘But that’s so rude.’

‘Actually, it’s rude of them to bother you while you’re out of the office. Now let’s go find you a husband.’

‘Freddy?’

‘Yes.’

‘It’s not just the team I’m worried about. I’m also scared about having a pseudo-flare-up.’

‘A what?’

‘A pseudo flare-up. It’s like a mini flare-up, brought on by stressful situations. I don’t want to walk around Royal Ascot with my cripple stick. It’s inelegant.’

‘Today won’t be stressful,’ says Freddy. ‘It will be fun. But if you do need your cane, who cares? Ahmet and Marcus are both decent human beings who are impressed by how well you manage your condition. Just like I am.’

‘You’re impressed by me, Freddy Stark?’

‘Yes. Cane or no cane. And by the way, you look like an absolute knockout today. Have I mentioned that?’

‘At least ten times. Oh, look! There’s Ahmet.’

A few feet away, Ahmet sits on a chequered picnic blanket, looking like a Pimm’s commercial. He’s dressed in a purple suit with a paisley shirt and is sharing a giant pork pie with a man who has three feet of peacock feathers coming out of his top hat.

‘KATERINA!’ Ahmet leaps to his feet and bounds over. ‘There you are! I left you five voicemails. Ha! My word, look at you

! You are a vision. That hat. Would you like to join me for a drink or a game of chess or a slice of vegan pork pie? Or all of the above?’

Kat grins. ‘I’d love to.’