Page 53 of Love or Your Money Back

CHAPTER

Freddy arrives early at Heathrow Airport wearing the latest Bang Olsen headphones with a copy of the Financial Times under his arm.

He avoids the first-class lounge because he guesses Kat will be there enjoying a three-course breakfast with champagne.

That’s what everyone does when they don’t fly first class regularly.

Rapidly consume complimentary food and drink like they’re under siege.

Instead, Freddy heads straight to the priority boarding gate and boards the plane before anyone else.

Once onboard, he enquires about empty seats.

There have been a few last-minute cancellations, as Freddy predicted, so he takes an unoccupied seat near the front of the plane.

Once comfortable on luxurious, leather, Freddy opens his copy of the Financial Times and pretends to read.

Inevitably, a shadow falls over him. It’s Kat, dressed in geometric trousers, a bright green jumper and a tailored coat. She has great hair. High heels. Stylish luggage. Definitely wife material.

‘You’re in the wrong seat.’

Freddy doesn’t look up from his newspaper. ‘I moved. Don’t take it personally. I like to sit near the front –’

‘Don’t give me that.’ Kat removes Freddy’s headphones and drops them in his lap. ‘You’re avoiding me.’

‘I’m not.’

‘You are.’ Kat pushes down his Financial Times. ‘Ever since you walked out on me at the British Library. This newspaper is a prop. As are those oversized headphones. I’m amazed you’re not sitting here in a bowler hat and fake moustache.’

‘I’m just listening to a podcast –’

‘There’s no sound coming out of those headphones. Come on, Freddy. What’s going on? Why did you switch seats?’

Freddy sighs. He should have had an excuse ready. Now he’ll have to say something on the spot and, surprisingly for a salesperson, he’s not good at lying.

‘I’m scared of flying.’ Oh, for fuck’s sake.

‘That might explain today,’ says Kat. ‘But what about you walking out on me at the British Library? And ignoring my calls?’

‘I just thought we were getting too close. You’re about to get married and I’m an eternal lady’s man. I didn’t want things to get confused.’

‘Good god, you’re arrogant Freddy Stark.’ Kat drops down into the seat beside him. ‘Not every woman is susceptible to your charms. Some of us like sweet, unassuming men like Ahmet with naturally brown skin, rather than a spray tan.’

‘I’m not spray-tanned!’ Freddy is outraged.

‘Really?’ Kat looks surprised. ‘Why are you so brown, then?’

‘This is my natural

colour. I go on a lot of holidays.’

‘Do you want a sedative?’ Kat pulls a massive clear bag of pills from her carry-on. ‘Security confiscated my steroids, but I have pretty much everything else.’

Freddy eyes the huge bag of prescription medication. ‘Why would I want a sedative?’

‘You’re scared of flying, right?’

‘Oh. Right. Yeah. Alcohol will do the job. In fact, let’s have some now.’ Freddy meerkats for a steward.

‘Good idea.’ Kat claps her hands and takes a seat. ‘Champagne. To celebrate my engagement.’

‘I was thinking of something a little stronger.’ Freddy waves a steward over. ‘Excuse me. Two tequilas? And what the hell. We’ll both have a glass of champagne too.’

‘Certainly, sir.’ The steward disappears, then returns with two tequila miniatures, plus two full glasses of champagne.

He places champagne and tequila on each of Freddy and Kat’s tray tables.

This irritates Freddy because he ordered both tequilas for himself.

Also, he doesn’t want Kat to get too comfortable.

‘Just so you know,’ Freddy tells the steward. ‘This lady isn’t sitting here.’

‘Yes, I am.’ Kat buckles up her seatbelt. ‘We’re celebrating. Are you okay, Freddy? You look … constipated.’

‘If anything, I have the opposite problem.’ Freddy looks at his pale face in the plane window. ‘I feel pretty sick. Are you sure you want to sit here?’

‘Yes.’

‘Righty-o’. Freddy unscrews the tequila miniature, adds clear liquid to his nearly full champagne glass and knocks the whole drink back in one go.

He knows that drinking at altitude is a bad idea.

It gives him verbal diarrhoea. He once told the head of a prominent Chinese bank, on a flight to Shanghai, that Chinese bank notes looked like Monopoly money. That was a long twelve hours.

The alcohol compels Freddy to say something stupid. Well, partially stupid.

‘Kat, I’m sorry I walked out on you at the British Library. But I don’t like that you’re settling for Ahmet. Life is short. Go for the best –’

‘I think what you mean to say is congratulations.’

‘Can I congratulate you for settling?’

‘Fairy tales are not for 34-year-old women with MS, Freddy. They’re for romance novels. And we don’t publish those.’

‘You read them, though.’ Freddy waves the steward over and holds up his champagne glass for a refill. ‘Look, I just have a feeling Ahmet is the wrong choice.’

‘Well, it’s a stupid feeling. Ahmet is a very safe pair of hands.’ Kat pulls a book from her bag and pointedly opens the pages, which Freddy supposes means the conversation is over.

‘Listen.’ Freddy taps Kat’s book. ‘We’ll take the limo to the hotel together, but after that … this is a business trip, right? You’re engaged now, so no friend lunches and dinners. We’ll do our own thing.’

Kat looks at him with a sadness that breaks his heart. ‘You don’t want to be friends just because I’m engaged?’

Freddy’s face softens. ‘We’ll always be friends, darling. Just friends that don’t spend time together.’ He wishes he hadn’t drunk that souped-up champagne. It’s making him way too honest.

‘That’s not a friendship.’ Kat turns back to her book. ‘But I get it. We were in a transactional relationship. You’ve married me off and made changes to my company, so now the job is done. Why would you want to spend time with me?’

Freddy doesn’t trust himself to answer that question. So instead, he says nothing and hands Kat probiotics for the flight.

Gut health is very important for MS sufferers.