Page 5 of Love or Your Money Back

CHAPTER

Spring in England is always cold. It’s even colder if you’re sitting in a woodland clearing under a grey cloud, watching your former fiancé get married. I try to ignore Freddy’s pleasant-smelling body beside me and focus on my melancholy.

Aunty Sylvia, on the other hand, launches herself over me to shake Freddy’s hand between her gloved fingers.

‘Call me Sylvia. Aunty makes me feel old.’

‘You’re Kat’s Aunt?’ Freddy raises a dark eyebrow. ‘You don’t look alike.’

‘I’m not her aunty by blood,’ Sylvia concedes. ‘That’s Caro. But I love her more than members of my own family. Don’t let Katerina’s tough-girl act fool you. She’s a sweetheart. Do you know, she once cycled five miles in the pouring rain to bring Caro her cholesterol spread –’

‘It was only a tiny bit out of my way,’ I snap. ‘And can we please change the subject? The less Freddy knows about me the better.’

‘Frederick is a fine name,’ says Aunty Sylvia. ‘It means ‘peaceful ruler’, you know.’

I snort.

‘So, Kat.’ Freddy arranges his long legs in front of him. ‘Let’s talk business.’

‘Do you know what, Sylvia?’ I shuffle away from Freddy. ‘I don’t think there’s room on this log for Freddy. What if the dentist comes back?’

‘Oh, he was bald,’ says Sylvia. ‘Freddy here has a full head of hair. And he’s so handsome.

Much better. Now, Freddy. Please forgive Katerina’s rather plain outfit.

She’s a modern woman. Always in work mode.

She needs a good man to dress up for. She has a lovely figure under all that loose clothing.

And don’t worry about those little physical problems of hers. They come and go.’

‘What physical problems?’ Freddy asks.

I feel my face and neck heating up.

‘I’m fine,’ I say, mortified to be turning red. It’s a horrible quirk I inherited from my mother. Really obvious blushing.

‘Well, right now, yes.’ Sylvia pats the bag on my lap. ‘But you have a debilitating chronic illness, darling. Sometimes, she has flare-ups so bad that she can barely walk, Frederick.’

‘Does she now?’ Freddy gives me an enquiring smile. ‘Well that explains the seesaw that is Little Voice’s profit figures –’

‘I hold things together just fine. Now please shush. They’re saying their vows.’

‘She is.’ Freddy crosses his arms and leans back. ‘The groom isn’t. He’s showboating. Playing to the crowd. He doesn’t mean a word of it. What’s so great about that guy that you still want to be with him?’

‘I don’t.’

‘Really? The way you’re watching him tells me something different.’

‘It’s over. He’s marrying someone else. I’m here for closure.’

‘But still.’ Freddy turns to me. ‘Do you wish you were the one up there, wearing the dress?’

‘Of course, I wish things had worked out. But life isn’t a fairy tale. Not for me, anyway. And my personal life is none of your business.’

‘So let’s talk about something that is my business,’ says Freddy. ‘Our business.’

‘It’s not our

business,’ I say. ‘It’s my business. And we are certainly not going to talk about it here. Weddings are supposed to be civilised affairs.’

‘Come on, Kat. You know we need to make changes –’

Maleficent turns again, bony finger to her lips. ‘SHUSH!’