Page 46 of Love or Your Money Back

CHAPTER

The next morning, I find Freddy in my kitchen attempting to make a smoothie in a food processor. He’s wearing my old, black dressing gown, which is way too short to the point of being obscene.

I stare at him. Then I swear. A lot.

‘Oh, shit, shit, shit.’

‘What?’ Freddy turns to me.

‘You stayed over. Everyone is going to think you and I … you know. And I’m trying to find a husband.’

‘It was a medical emergency. Everyone will understand. And I very much doubt it will come up in conversation. How are you feeling?’

‘Surprisingly good.’ I grab a stool at the breakfast bar.

‘Sort of … normal. I can’t believe my luck.

Usually, when I have to crawl over my doorstep, I’m out for at least a couple of days.

You must be good medicine.’ I hesitate. ‘Okay. Right. I need to arrange dates with Ahmet and Marcus. Time to get this marriage train on the road.’

Freddy turns to me, hesitates, then nods with enthusiasm. ‘Yes, exactly. Time to get you married. Think of all the things you’ll do with a great partner in your corner.’

‘And Ahmet and Marcus both gave good feedback about me at Ascot, right?’

Freddy nods again, focusing intently on the food processor. ‘Do you have any protein powder?’

‘Of course I don’t,’ I say. ‘I don’t enjoy constipation any more than the next person.’

‘Do me a favour.’ Freddy starts throwing things into the food processor. Bananas. Cacao powder. Spoons of peanut butter. And bizarrely, half a lettuce. ‘Don’t get too attached to Marcus and Ahmet. There are more men in the world than just those too.’

‘Don’t start this again. I like Marcus and Ahmet –’

‘But the way you talk about them … it’s all so practical. Like you’re settling.’

‘I am settling. That’s what we signed up for, right? Marriage is just a transaction where both people benefit. I’m too old for fairy tales.’

Freddy turns to me then, one hand on the food processor. ‘Maybe you should

hold out for the fairy tale. Not just the acceptable. The best. The very best.’

‘I’ve never really cared about having the best.’

‘The only reason people don’t care about the best is because deep down, they don’t feel they deserve it.’

‘I want to get married this year, Freddy. I have to be practical. I have two men interested in me who are way above my level –’

‘No,’ says Freddy. ‘They’re not. You’re above their level. You just don’t see it.’

‘That’s very kind. And by the way, that smoothie looks disgusting.’

‘Needs must in a house without spinach or protein powder.’ Freddy opens the food processor and scrapes a spoon around the inside ‘Okay, fine. I suppose it’s better you have someone carrying you upstairs than no one at all.

But at the very least, ditch Marcus. All he’s thinking about is his political career.

Ahmet has a more genuine connection with you. ’

‘I’m glad you said that.’ I smile. ‘I prefer Ahmet. He’s funny. Hey – when we first met, did you ever imagine yourself standing in my kitchen wearing my dressing gown?’

‘I did actually,’ says Freddy. ‘It was one of the first thoughts I had when I met you.’

I laugh. Because obviously, Freddy is joking.

Freddy turns back to the blender. ‘Listen, Kat, I’m going to be pretty busy the next few weeks.

So I think the best thing … I mean, if you have another relapse, call me.

But otherwise, just focus on dating Ahmet, record the data and email it over.

Time to take off the training wheels and go solo. Okay?’

‘But I need your help.’

‘No, you don’t. You’re doing great on your own. Packaged, placed and promoted to perfection. Trust me. I’ve launched plenty of products. You are ready to be a bestseller.’