Page 87 of Losing Control

Maddox crouched down in front of him, running her hands over his head and along his neck. His fur was warm and familiar under her palms. How many times had she done this? Hundreds? Thousands? Every shift, every bad call, every nightmare—Zeus had been there, a constant presence.

"I know you don't understand," she said quietly. "I know you think I'm making a mistake."

He pressed his head against her chest, the weight of him grounding.

"But I don't have a choice. If I don't do this, I lose you. And I can't—" Her voice caught. "I can't lose you too."

Zeus whined, soft and worried.

She stayed there for another moment, forehead pressed against the top of his head, memorizing the solid warmth of him. Then she stood, stepped around him, and grabbed her keys from the hook by the door.

"I'll be back soon," she said.

Another lie. She'd be back, but she wouldn't be the same. Something fundamental was about to break, and they both knew it.

Zeus's whine followed her out the door.

The drive to Jade's apartment took fifteen minutes. Maddox made every light, hit no traffic, and found a parking spot right out front, the universe offering no obstacles or excuses to turn around.

She sat in her truck for a moment, engine off, staring up at the third-floor window where Jade's lights were on.

Her phone was still off in her pocket. She pulled it out, then shoved it back without turning it on. Whatever messages Jade had left, whatever texts she'd sent, Maddox couldn't read them. Not now. Not when she needed the walls to stay up.

She got out of the truck.

The building's front door was propped open—someone's moving dolly wedging it—and she climbed the three flights to Jade's apartment, each step feeling heavier than the last.

At Jade's door, she stopped, raised her hand to knock, then dropped it again.

What was she doing? She'd told Jade she needed time. Told her "not tonight." Showing up anyway would?—

The door opened.

Jade stood there in yoga pants and an oversized sweatshirt, hair pulled back. She looked beautiful and worried and so fucking relieved to see her. "Maddox." Her name came out on an exhale. "You came. I thought you said— I'm so glad you're here." Jade stepped back, pulling the door wider to invite her in.

Maddox didn't move. "Can we talk?"

Jade's expression shifted, relief giving way to wariness. "Of course. Come in."

Maddox stepped inside. The apartment smelled like the lavender candle Jade always burned and herbal tea.

.Jade closed the door, then turned to face her. "Do you want something to drink? I just made tea, or I can?—"

"I'm fine."

"Okay." Jade folded her arms across her chest. "You sounded really shaken on the phone earlier. I've been worried."

"I'm fine," Maddox repeated.

"You're not." Jade took a step closer. "Talk to me. What did Diana say? What options did she give you?"

"It doesn't matter," Maddox said.

"It does matter. Whatever she told you, whatever complications there are, we can figure it out. We can talk to her together on Monday."

"There's nothing to figure out."

Jade stopped. "What do you mean?"