Page 85 of Losing Control

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, and she didn’t need to look to know it was Jade.

By the time she’d finished with Zeus and headed to the locker room to grab her things, she’d missed three calls and several texts.

Jade:“Please pick up.”

Jade:“I know you're scared. So am I.”

Jade:“We can figure this out. We always do.”

Jade:“Maddox, please.”

That last one sat on her screen, the word “please” staring at her like an accusation. She stood in the empty locker room.Her shift was over. She should clock out, go home, and continue through the motions. But her hands wouldn’t move.

The phone rang again. This time, she answered.

“Hey.” Her voice came out flat and distant, the same tone she used with civilians during traffic stops.

“Maddox.” Jade’s voice cracked on her name. “Thank god, I’ve been trying to reach you for hours.”

“I know. I was working.”

“Are you okay? Where are you?”

“I’m fine, just finishing patrol.”

In the pause, Maddox could hear Jade breathing on the other end. She could picture Jade in her office or maybe already back in her apartment, pacing the way she did when she was processing something difficult.

“We need to talk about this,” Jade said finally. “About what Diana told you. Can I come over tonight? Or I can meet you somewhere if?—"

“Not tonight.”

Another pause, longer this time.

“Maddox—"

“I need some time to think.” The words came out sharper than she intended. She softened her tone and tried again. “I just need some space to figure this out.”

“Figure what out?” Jade’s voice had shifted into therapist mode, gentle but probing as she tried to understand. “Whatever Diana said, whatever options she offered, we can work through them together.”

The word “together” felt like putty in her mind.

“It’s not that simple.”

“It is, though.” Jade’s voice gained strength. “Look, I don’t know what exactly she told you, but I know there are always solutions. We can talk to her together on Monday. We can?—"

“I said I need time.” The sharp edge in her voice was back. Maddox heard it and hated it, but couldn’t stop it. “This isn’t something we can just talk through, Jade.”

There was a heavy silence on the other end. “Okay,” Jade said quietly. “Okay. If you need time, I understand. But can you just— Can you tell me you’re okay? Like actually okay?”

No. She wasn’t okay. She was drowning. She was repeating all the same mistakes she made before and could see it happening, but still couldn’t stop it.

“I’m fine,” Maddox said.

“You’re not.” Not a question, a statement. Jade knew her too well. “I can hear it in your voice. You’re shutting down and rebuilding walls.”

“Maybe I should be,” Maddox said. “Maybe we both should be. This was always going to be complicated, and now?—"

“Now what? Now we face it? Now we figure it out? That’s what people do when they—" Jade stopped herself.