Page 58 of Losing Control

Maddox stepped inside and closed the door behind her. The click felt too loud. "Hey," she said quietly, lowering herself to the floor across from him. Far enough to give space, but close enough to be present. "Thanks for letting us in."

Connor didn't look up from Zeus.

"You doing okay?" Maddox asked.

Connor’s fingers threaded through Zeus’s fur. "They called the cops. Like I'm some kind of criminal."

"They called because they're scared. It doesn't mean you're in trouble."

"I didn't take the guns."

"Okay."

"I thought about it." His voice cracked. "But I didn't."

Something cold slid down Maddox's spine. She knew that edge, the place where thought and action blurred, where the weight became unbearable and ending it felt like the only way to make it stop.

"Thinking about it doesn't make you bad," she said, and her voice came out rougher than she intended. "It makes you human."

Connor's hands tightened in Zeus's fur, his knuckles white. Zeus leaned harder into him, steady and solid. "School's shit," Connor said. "Everyone's shit. I can't— I can't do this anymore."

The words landed like a fist to Maddox's sternum. She'd said those exact words once. To no one, to herself, to the empty room where she'd sat with her service weapon on the table and Zeus whining at her feet.

"Today was bad?" she asked, keeping her tone level.

"Every day's bad. Today was just worse."

Maddox nodded but didn't offer solutions or minimize, just held the space for him.

"My parents think it's easy," Connor continued, words spilling faster now. "Just go to school, get good grades, be normal. But I can't. I can't breathe there. Everyone hates me, and I don't even know why."

Everyone hates me and I don't even know why.

The pressure in Maddox's chest expanded. She'd felt that too—the fundamental wrongness, the certainty that something inside her was broken beyond repair and everyone could see it. After Titan died. After Leah left. When breathing felt like dragging razors through her lungs.

"That sounds exhausting," she managed.

"It is." Connor finally looked at her, eyes raw and desperate. "And they'll make me go back. They'll say I'm fine and that I just need to try harder. But I'm not fine."

"No," Maddox agreed. Her throat felt tight. "You're not. And that's okay."

Connor blinked. "What?"

"You're not fine. You're struggling." She had to swallow before continuing. "That doesn't mean you're broken, though. It means you need help."

"They'll put me in a hospital."

"Maybe. Or maybe they'll get you a counselor who actually understands. Someone who can help you figure out how to deal with the shit that feels impossible right now." She forced herself to hold his gaze. "You know what I’ve learned? Asking for help doesn't make you weak. It makes you smart. Because doing this alone is the hardest fucking thing in the world."

Do as I say, not as I did.

Zeus huffed softly, and Connor's mouth twitched briefly.

"Your dog's cool," he said.

"He is. He’s saved my ass more times than I can count too." Maddox paused, measuring her next words. "Connor, I need you to come downstairs with me to talk to your parents and let them get you help. Can you do that?"

He looked at Zeus, then back at her. "What if they're mad?"