Page 61 of Losing Control

Maddox nodded. She couldn't speak past the lump in her throat.

They sat there in the front seat of her K-9 vehicle, and Maddox let herself be held. She let herself need someone.

It terrified her.

And it was also the only thing keeping her together.

Eventually, Jade pulled back slightly. "Are you okay to drive? I can have someone take you home."

"No. I'm okay." Maddox's voice came out steadier now. "I just needed a minute."

"Take as long as you need." Jade squeezed her hand. "I should get back to the family, but text me later?"

"Yeah."

Jade hesitated, then leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to Maddox's temple, then she was gone, slipping out of the vehicle and heading back toward the house.

Maddox sat alone in the driver's seat, Zeus watching her from his compartment. Her hands had stopped shaking, and breathing had evened out, but something changed within her.

She’d needed Jade, and she’d reached for her without thinking. More surprisingly, Jade had been there for her.

That should terrify her more than it did.

Maddox started the engine and keyed the radio. "Unit 12 clearing scene. Resuming patrol."

The rest of the shift passed in a blur of routine calls that required nothing from her but presence. There was a noise complaint on Foxglove Street, a welfare check on an elderly woman whose neighbor hadn't seen her in days (she was fine, just visiting her daughter), and a fender bender at the intersection of Fourth and Pine where both drivers were more embarrassed than injured.

Maddox went through the motions and filled out reports, writing in the clipped, professional tone that had become second nature. But Connor's voice followed her through every call, every interaction, every quiet moment between radio dispatches.

She'd texted Jade once more before the end of her shift.

Maddox: “Still good for tonight?”

The response came immediately.

Jade: “Always. Come whenever you're ready.”

Now Maddox stood in her own kitchen, Zeus's bowl on the floor as he ate his dinner with the single-minded focus he brought to everything. The apartment was quiet except for the sound of him crunching kibble and the hum of the refrigerator, the same quiet she'd lived in for six years, the same solitude that had felt safe.

Except it didn’t feel as safe anymore, and the hollowness pressed in around her.

Maddox moved to the bathroom and turned on the shower, letting the water heat while she peeled off her uniform. The mirror showed the same face she'd seen this morning: short dark hair sticking up where she'd run her hands through it, dark eyes that looked more tired than they should, the faint scar through her left eyebrow that she'd stopped noticing years ago.

Nothing had changed.

Everything had changed.

She stepped under the spray and let the water beat against her shoulders, washing away the afternoon's sweat and tension. But Connor's words stayed with her, and under them was Jade's voice:I've got you. You're okay.

Maddox pressed her forehead against the tile. She'd broken down today. Not just gotten emotional, actually cracked open in front of Jade, let herself be held, and admitted she needed someone. And Jade hadn’t run.

The thought should be comforting. Instead, it terrified her in ways she couldn't fully comprehend.

She finished showering and dried off, pulling on clean clothes—dark jeans, a gray henley, her leather jacket. Zeus had finished eating and was watching her from his spot by the couch. He knew something was different. She never went out on weeknights unless work called her back in.

"Yeah, I know," Maddox said, grabbing her keys from the counter. "I'm acting weird."

Zeus's tail thumped once against the floor in his patient, non-judgmental way. She sat down on the couch beside him, and he immediately moved closer, pressing his solid warmth against her leg. Maddox buried her hand in his fur, grounding herself in what was familiar.