Page 5 of Is It Casual Now?
five
“What the hell is this?” Bunny flopped a printout of a blog post onto Siena’s desk loudly.
Siena, however, had already seen it, read it at least three times over, and was hating herself for that one night of weakness even more. She couldn’t believe that she’d made such a stupid rookie mistake.
No matter how good the sex had been.
And it had been damn good.
“That is the latest gossip drama from none other than Jamie Kettlehouse. JK for short.” Siena rolled her eyes. Jamie was an absolute joke. The fact that she continued to put out this shit and try to pass it as actual journalism was the true joke. Or perhaps it was the fact that people actually read it and thought it was all truth.
“This is ridiculous,” Bunny said, again pointing at the printout. As if she couldn’t just email it over to Siena. Siena stopped at that. Bunny would never just email a link over, that wasn’t her style at all. “She should be in jail for writing this horseshit. ”
“Well, not quite.” As much as Siena hated to admit it, it wasn’t like JK was crossing the line of libel. Though she had come close to it several times. Running her fingers through her hair, Siena rested back and closed her eyes. “But it doesn’t exactly paint me in a good light, does it?”
“You read it?” Bunny plopped down across from Siena, finally calming down slightly.
“I was alerted to it right after it was posted.” Siena sighed again. She needed something stronger than water for this one. Reaching into the bottom drawer of her desk, she pulled out a rarely used bottle of whiskey and filled a couple of small cups. Handing one over to Bunny, Siena took a sip before she eyed one of her oldest friends. “I’m going to have to change a few things around and head out with you and Piper on the next tour.”
“What? You can’t. You already explained you wouldn’t be with us this time.”
“I know.” Siena ran her hands through her hair once more. She had gone through the options over and over, and every single time she came to one conclusion. “But if we ignore this then JK ”—she spat the name. It must be in those initials. She’d never met anyone with them who wasn’t a snake in the grass—“will turn this molehill into a fucking mountain.”
Bunny stared wide-eyed at her, and she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
“I’m sorry.”
“Fuck that.” Bunny shook her head. “I’m not your client right now, Siena. We’ll find another way.”
“There isn’t another way.” Siena smiled softly at her friend. She appreciated how Bunny could work with her and still maintain the friendship they had developed over the years. Siena prided herself on her professionalism. She was good at her job. Damn good. Hell, she was the goddamned best. But sometimes, moments like this, she wondered if all this professionalism was really worth it.
She shook off the idea as soon as it entered her thoughts.
Of course it was. But sometimes the cost wasn’t.
“Have you told Tori and Harley yet?” Bunny asked, the hint of a wince in her voice, as though she expected to be yelled at for asking.
“No.” Siena’s shoulders dropped forward, and for a moment, she let the last of her professional demeanor sag. “No, I haven’t told either of them that I’m going to miss Harley’s open house. I’ve been avoiding it, hoping some miracle will appear and I don’t have to.”
“Then don’t miss it,” Bunny said again, earnest and sincere. Not many people got the privilege of seeing this side of Bunny. She was either the rock star or the consummate professional where work always came first. Well, maybe not always professional, but always focused on work. It was one of the many things the two had in common that had moved them from a manager-client relationship into true friendship.
“You know as well as I do that I have to stop this ball rolling any further.”
“I know.” Bunny leaned back in her chair and nodded. “I just wish I really did arrive with the miracle you needed.”
Siena and Bunny shared a soft sad smile, mirroring each other. She often understood where Bunny’s thoughts were, even if she didn’t always agree with her reasoning or justification. She did always understand it.
The silence settled over them for a few minutes.
“I’ll tell you what, though,” Bunny broke the silence with a little more of her well-known force, “if I ever find out what that snake looks like, she’ll be getting more than just a little piece of my mind.”
She got loads more than a piece of my mind .
Siena opened and closed her mouth, heat rising to her cheeks.
“Sorry.” Bunny rolled her eyes at herself. “I just hate that you’re going to have to disappoint Tori and Harley because of her bullshit.”
“I know. And you aren’t the only one who’s going to hate me just a little right now.”
“She won’t hate you.”
“Maybe neither of them will, but that kind of makes it worse.” Siena forced her shoulders back, putting her professionalism back into place like a suit of armor.
“You’ll make it up to her. Harley will forgive you. You’re a great mom, Siena.”
“Thanks.” Siena rarely felt like a great mom, but she also knew she tried her best and really would do anything for her daughter. Including making sure she didn’t fuck up her job to the point of not being able to support her and Tori. Not that Tori needed the financial support as much as she used to.
“Good luck.” Bunny stood and gave Siena a consolatory smile.
“Thanks. I’m going to need it.” Siena picked up the phone as soon as Bunny closed her office door behind her. She had to rip the Band-Aid off immediately or she’d end up fucking it up worse by not telling them and just missing the open house without explanation.
That would have been a thousand times worse, and absolutely not the parent Siena ever had been or would be. The disappointment in Tori and Harley’s voices would be hard enough without extra anger mixed in.
“All right, what the hell has got the great Siena Frazee in a bar at three in the afternoon drinking?” Ingrid’s voice sailed over to Siena where she sat at a table at their bar.
They had been coming here since they met at management school and whenever shit got to be too much, they would call on each other to meet and bring the other back to the real world.
“I’ve fucked up,” Siena said, the whiskey she had already drunk having loosened her tongue.
“Well shit.” Ingrid pulled her handbag around to her front and sat down on the chair opposite Siena. “This isn’t some petty little shit who has pissed you off.”
“Nope.” Siena shook her head and then narrowed her eyes. “Actually. She is a petty little shit who has pissed me off, but I can’t say I’m surprised or even that I entirely blame her.”
“Her?” Ingrid lifted a hand and got the attention of the waitstaff. “This sounds like I’m going to need a drink as well.”
“Oh yeah.” Siena leaned forward and chuckled. It was the first moment of lightness that she’d felt since hanging up with Tori. The call had been a bad one. Tori hadn’t screamed or yelled or anything like that. It really wasn’t in her nature. She had even tried to be understanding and give Siena a break from the guilt, which of course only made her feel that much worse.
She’d even offered to tell Harley for her, but Siena didn’t want Tori to take the blame for Siena’s parenting fuck ups. That had never been something either of them would do to their darling daughter or to each other.
“I have to miss Harley’s open house at school next week. Her first one.”
“What? Why?” Ingrid pulled the straw from her drink and took a healthy gulp of the amber liquid before she snuggled into her chair, clearly getting ready to settle in for the long haul.
Siena gave a small snort. Not the most attractive of her moments but fuck it. What else could go wrong right now? “Because I fucked up and have to tour with Bunny and Piper so the accusations can’t stick.”
“Ah fuck. You’re talking about the JK blog?” Ingrid nodded and took another gulp of her drink.
“Oh yeah.” Siena lifted her eyebrows and nodded. Despite the heaviness in her chest over the entire situation, the corners of her mouth curled up just a touch.
“She has really fucked over a lot of us managers with that one. And it looks like it’s getting a bit of traction as well.”
“Exactly.”
“So then, how come your cheeky grin is showing?” Ingrid gave her own half grin and raised a single eyebrow at Siena.
No wonder they had become fast friends and stayed that way. They didn’t catch up all that regularly, but when they did, they slipped into the easy friendship of a history and understanding that few others could grasp.
“Well,” Siena chuckled, a self-deprecating sort of hard chuckle that made no secret of the desolation and stupidity she felt. “I fucked her.”
“What?” Ingrid’s eyebrows knitted together, and her glass stopped halfway to her mouth. It hung in midair, and Siena focused on her friend’s fingers as they warped through the thick glass, instead of meeting Ingrid’s eyes.
“I didn’t know it was her at the time.”
“Oh my God.” Ingrid’s hand lowered and the glass landed with a thunk onto the tabletop, the next gulp forgotten. “You’re serious? You slept with Jamie Kettlehouse ?”
“Ssshhhh.” Siena quickly looked around the space.
She really didn’t know why she bothered. It wasn’t as though this was a popular hangout joint. It was nothing more than a dive bar really, but it was theirs.
“What the hell happened, Siena? You don’t just sleep with people. ”
Siena cringed as she thought about the words that she planned on saying next. “Apparently, I do now. And with my impeccable taste and timing, the person I decided to change my entire personal vow for is none other than the demon spawn of my entire fucking career.”
“Wow.” Ingrid shook her head as she took that previously forgotten drink. “Just how did this even happen?”
“She hit on me, and she has delicious tits.” Siena groaned and dropped her head forward as memories of sucking those tits rushed to her mind.
“Wow.”
“That’s it? That’s all I get?”
“Well, until you explain a bit more.” Ingrid held up her hand. “And no, I don’t mean more about the tits and whatever has got your face flaming red again. But how do you go from mortal enemies to fucking?”
“I need another drink for this,” Siena said.
“I’ve got it.” Ingrid raised her hand again, slugging back the last of her current drink as she did.
Once fresh drinks were ordered and had arrived, Siena dove into the events of the evening when her strength and resolve had disappeared beneath blue eyes and soft lips.
“Holy shit.” Ingrid hadn’t touched her drink as she listened to Siena’s story and now sat with a strange look on her face—a look Siena was certain she didn’t like.
“What?”
“What do you mean what?”
“Don’t play with me, Ingrid.” Siena lifted her eyebrows and gave her best stare-down. Even with a few drinks in her, Siena was still in complete control over her faculties and knew how to use the power of her stare to her advantage. “What is that look about?”
“This look is still processing.”
“Bullshit.” Siena chuckled, shaking her head. “You’ve never taken time to process anything. You’re a friggin’ speed processor.”
Ingrid laughed and finally took a sip of her fresh drink.
“Fine. I’m wondering if JK—pfft, why would anyone want to use that as their persona nowadays—” Ingrid rolled her eyes and shook her head. “—but anyway, I’m wondering if she knew it was you.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure she does.”
“I mean the article is about managers in general. I mean, she’s done a number on all of us.”
“Yep. That’s true.” Siena nodded. “But you can’t tell me the little details and examples she’s talking about didn’t have you thinking exactly of me.”
“Hmmm.” Ingrid’s lack of response told Siena exactly what she thought. “You really just walked out while she was in the shower?”
“What the hell else was I supposed to do?”
“Be a grown up and confront her!” Ingrid smiled as though that could minimize the sting of her words.
“It was a nightmare, all rolled up in unreleased arousal, and I panicked. Okay?”
“Yeah, you did.” Ingrid agreed with a nod. “And now you’re going to have to deal with it and not keep running away.”
Siena rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Easy for you to say. And I don’t plan to do anything but my job in relation to that woman. Ever again.”
“Sure.” Ingrid laughed. “You keep telling yourself that.”
“All right Miss Know-it-all.” Siena laughed. “My time’s up. What’s going on in your world?”
“Well, funny you should ask.” Ingrid smiled and began to regale Siena with the things that had happened since the last time they had caught up.
By the time they left, Siena felt a little lighter. She was no closer to working through her guilt about missing Harley’s open house, or understanding how Jamie fucking Kettlehouse had so easily gotten under her skin, but she was determined on one thing.
She would do her job and avoid the tabloid hack just like she always had.
There would be no more contact with JK.
None whatsoever.