Page 25 of Is It Casual Now?

twenty-five

Siena had been living on a high ever since she had taken Jamie home.

A gnawing at the pit of her stomach tried to remind her of the morning-after facts. She hadn’t heard from Jamie since she had dropped her back off to her car after another round of orgasms, toast and coffee. Not precisely in that order.

But the thrill that bloomed inside her couldn’t be quelled.

“Hey, Piper,” Siena answered the phone with a smile on her face. Piper didn’t often call Siena about business things. That was always Bunny. But things had been shifting. Siena could feel the changes buffeting around her. Even with her distractions, her honed skill at her job had never let her down before.

“I need your help.” Piper sounded nervous, her normal chipper and bubbly tones dampened by something that Siena was in the dark on still.

Siena looked over to the dining room table where Harley sat, legs swinging as she sang incorrect words to pop songs while coloring on random paper she’d stolen from Siena’s printer in her home office. Harley was insisting on practicing writing with her left hand since her right one was confined by a cast practically up to her shoulder and she didn’t want to fall behind in school. Her swinging feet were still far enough off the ground that Siena could push the idea of her baby growing up too quickly from her mind. Most of the time.

She listened to Piper, and even as she told her friend and her client the reality of this backfiring, her mind was already working on getting everything she needed.

“Mommy, what’s wrong?”

Siena looked up to see Harley staring at her with big, worried eyes and her mouth slightly open.

“Oh, I’m okay, baby.” Siena sat next to Harley and looked at her daughter’s drawing and the random numbers and letters that she’d manage to learn how to write littering the page. “Just trying to figure out a problem at work.”

“Can I help?” Harley asked before shoving the end of her pencil in her mouth and biting on the end.

“Don’t chew the pencils, baby. You’ll get splinters in your mouth.”

“Mommy.” Harley laughed but put the pencil back on top of her paper. “I won’t get splinters.”

“Good. Because they would be super hard to try and get out with the tweezers.”

Harley looked horrified. Siena pulled her head toward her chest and hugged her even as she smiled, a little too amused that her fostering fear about pencil chewing might have worked a little too well.

“Hey, we’re going to meet Aunt Piper down at a park. Her and her friend are doing a little dress up for some photos. Did you want to come with me and help take them?”

Harley pulled back from Siena, leaning so far that Siena worried for a moment that her daughter might fall off her chair. But Harley stopped moving once she saw enough of Siena for her liking .

“Really?” Her mouth fluttered between a smile so large it threatened to eat up her face, and the open shock of such an offer.

“Really.”

“Yes, yes, yes, yes!” Harley was off her seat, dancing around the table. She made awkwardly jarring movements as she waggled her shoulders and kept going.

The sight was everything Siena needed. She laughed and then jumped up, joining Harley in her dance and chanting.

“Can we go now?”

“Soon baby.” Siena laughed and ruffled Harley’s hair. “Let’s get you cleaned up. And I better change as well.”

“Why is it just Aunt Piper and not Aunt Bunny?” Harley asked as she pointed out the dress she wanted to wear at the park. Siena had to think hard about how many times Harley had actually been with only one of them and not both of them, and she had to admit, it was rare. Bunny and Piper were always together.

Siena didn’t enjoy lying. Not even when she walked the fine line between bending and crossing the truth at work, she never enjoyed it. And the idea of lying to her daughter made her stomach churn. “I think Piper wants to keep it a secret.”

“Secrets are bad, Mommy.”

“Not a secret, sorry baby. Piper wants to keep it a surprise.”

Harley pursed her lips as she thought, but she must have understood the difference this time. “Did you get Aunt Piper the deal for these pictures?”

“You know about the deals I get my clients?” Siena hadn’t realized just how much Harley was paying attention to what she did.

“Nah!” Harley shook her head and sat on the floor of her room, focused intently on scrunching up the sides of her sock with her one good hand to make it easier to put on. “I just know you help Aunties with them sometimes. That’s right, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, baby. You’re right. And so clever.”

“Okay, you need to get changed, and I need to put on my socks.” Harley looked at Siena until their eyes met. She gave one sharp nod, and then returned all her attention on getting her socks into line, and hopefully on her feet.

Siena wanted to stand at the threshold of Harley’s room and simply watch her. But Harley had been correct. Siena did need to go get dressed. She also needed to figure out if what she planned to do was going to be worth the fallout if she made the wrong choice.

Once she’d put on some going-out clothes, Siena sat down on the end of her bed. Memories of being fucked to within an inch of her life threatened to steal her focus. And for just a moment or two, she let herself indulge in them.

But Harley wouldn’t be much longer before she came in search of Siena and wondered why they weren’t leaving yet. Before she could talk herself out of it. Again. Siena grabbed up her phone and dialed the number.

“Siena. Hi.” Jamie sounded distracted on the other end of the line.

“Hey, did I call at a bad time?”

“Nope, not at all. You just got me out of some more confetti making for Jessie. Please, by all means talk away.”

“Right.” Siena chuckled. She wondered at which of the upcoming Christmas events at the school she would find herself covered in said confetti. “I was wondering if you’d be interested in a different sort of article to write.”

“What kind of article?” Jamie had a way of saying so much, even when she said so little. The hint of hesitation Siena heard couldn’t hide any of the curiosity and excitement that seeped through the phone.

“It’s a fake piece. That’s the first thing you need to know. And it’s not going to be published immediately. It might not need to be published at all.”

“What on earth are you scheming?”

Siena laughed. She really enjoyed how much she did that when Jamie was around. It seemed more natural than ever before. “It wasn’t my idea. I’m simply helping my client make it happen, which is perhaps what I thought you might be interested in.”

“Which client?”

“Piper,” Siena replied. Was it crazy that while Jamie’s excitement remained, there also seemed to be a hesitation, a distance she hadn’t anticipated?

“Right. So what would you like me to do in relation to this fake news?” Jamie asked, and Siena couldn’t pretend anymore that it was just her paranoia. Everything about Jamie seemed strange tonight.

“Are you okay?” Siena wanted to smack herself in the forehead as the words slipped out as they entered her mind. There had been no process between thought and tongue.

“Absolutely,” Jamie replied in the voice that told Siena that something was definitely not okay. “What do you need in a professional manner from me?”

“Profession…” Siena’s heart seized in her chest. They had talked. Well, she had talked. She had ended on such a high after her night with Jamie she hadn’t checked. She hadn’t made sure without a doubt that they were on the same page.

She was fucking it all up again.

But this time, she wanted the person and not just the idea of what they could offer her.

“Right.” Siena wiped at her cheeks as Harley came into the room, socks and boots successfully on her feet. Even on the correct feet, Siena noted, wondering why she would even notice the detail when inside her chest everything was slowly tumbling down. “I’d like you to meet us, if you’re able, and write a piece about what you see.”

“That’s it? Do I get any kind of hint as to what I’ll see?”

“I think it’ll be better if you see it for yourself.”

“Right,” Jamie said, and Siena could imagine her nodding and tucking a pen behind her ear. Which was a stupid image. As far as Siena knew, Jamie might not even use pens to take notes. She might be a complete technological junky. She rolled her eyes at herself and then quickly beamed a bright smile to Harley who was looking at her with her brows furrowed.

The smile had done the trick though, and Harley returned the gesture in kind before walking farther into Siena’s room and standing in front of the full-length mirror that stood at an angle in the corner of her bedroom.

Images of watching herself fuck Jamie in the reflection filled her brain, and she quickly coughed to shake it away.

“So, will you make it?”

“I’ll try. Send me a text with the details, and I’ll do my best to be there.”

“Thanks, Jamie.”

“Bye, Siena.”

The way Jamie said it had sounded so final. Not see ya, or later . But bye …

“Is someone else coming to the park? Will I take pictures of them too?” Harley stopped the pain in Siena’s chest from entirely taking over.

“I invited them, but I don’t know if they’ll have the time to show up.”

“Who is it?” Harley asked twirling in front of the mirror. “It’s Ms. Jamie, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Siena laughed and scooped her daughter up in her arms mid-twirl. Harley squealed and then laughed. “It’s Ms. Jamie. ”

“I hope she comes. She’s pretty, and I want to take pictures of her.”

“She is pretty.” Siena’s words threatened to stick in her throat. “But even if she does come, she might not want her photo taken.”

“Oh.” Harley furrowed her brow. “And I can’t take pictures of people if they haven’t said I could, right?”

“That’s right.” Siena nodded, pride swelling her chest.

“Okay.” Harley nodded, already taking on the seriousness her role as photographer deemed.

“Well then, let’s get going, munchkin.”

“Nope, I’m Superman.”

“What happened to being Batman?”

“Superman takes pictures for the Daily Planet.” She affected a tone that Siena was certain she’d hear more of as Harley became a teenager. “So I’m Superman today.”

“So does Lois Lane.”

“But Lois Lane keeps getting caught and needs to be rescued. I don’t need to be rescued.”

“No.” Siena smiled, shuffling herself and Harley out of her house as she grabbed snacks and bottles of water at the last minute. “You definitely don’t need saving, Superman.”

At Siena’s words, Harley’s chest puffed up a little more. She pushed her shoulders back and strode away slow enough for Siena to whip out her phone and take a picture before Harley got too far away.

It didn’t take Siena very long to get to the river and the bridge. Piper and Jo were already there, standing very close to each other. Siena had to rush to get Harley out of the back seat of the car. She held onto her as she climbed because it was so difficult to see in the dark and Harley’s arm was still in the damn cast.

They made their way to Piper and Jo, and Harley had already started doing what she was there to do. Taking pictures. Siena stayed back a little, giving Harley the space as Piper played into everything for her. Harley’s squeals were such a delight to hear—Siena loved that Piper and Bunny had fallen so in love with Harley when she was born.

“Are you kidding me?” The sound of Jamie’s voice was music to Siena’s ears. They’d already taken a few photos of Piper and Jo. “You’re telling me these two aren’t actually together?”

“Hi.” Siena looked over at Jamie as she sidled up beside her. They stood a few feet away as Harley moved places and angles, getting photos of the women who talked as though they weren’t about to enact a fake engagement.

“Hey. So, what’s the fake news? Because I’m finding it a little hard to believe that these two aren’t just a little more than friends.”

“Honestly…” Siena sighed and tried not to scream and tell Jamie that whatever was happening to stop and come back to her. Stop moving away. “I’m not entirely sure.”

“All right. But what’s the fake news then?”

“Hang on.” Siena placed one hand on Jamie’s forearm as she raised the other to get Piper’s attention. She hadn’t taken much notice of the movement, not until Jamie’s arm stiffened beneath her touch. “Are you ready?” Siena called out to Piper, her breathing coming a little faster than it had moments ago.

“All good.” Piper smiled to Siena and then turned her eyes back to Jo.

Oh, there was definitely more than just a little something going on there, but Siena wouldn’t pry. Not into her client’s life, or her friend’s for that matter. She just hoped Piper would tell her when she was ready.

“This is the fake part. It’s a long story, but if you can write it up so it looks as real as possible, that would be for the best.”

“You want me to lie and purposely feed false information to the people?” Jamie looked a little green about that statement.

“No.” Siena shook her head. “Well, not exactly. I don’t want it published in any traditional papers.” She’d thought this through many times over, and while she could have easily written something up on her own and made it seem real enough for what Piper needed, Siena wanted to see Jamie again. And she wanted to know exactly what Jamie would do—she was the expert in all of this, wasn’t she?

“What do you want?” Jamie asked, moving her eyes away the moment Siena tried to meet them.

“You have several blogs.”

“What?” Jamie looked startled, and the thrill of getting a reaction not focused entirely on her being an uptight professional was intoxicating.

“Everyone knows about the JK one. But I’m not the only one with secret sources.” Siena hated herself for the smirk on her lips and the teasing lilt in her voice. But fear made her desperate.

“All right. You want me to post it up on one of my other blogs. To what purpose?”

“For someone else to believe it’s real.” Siena swallowed the lump in her throat. She should keep it to herself. But seeing as Jamie was determined to be professional, Siena might as well see how strong that ethical line Jamie insisted upon mentioning really was. “For Bunny to believe it’s real.”

“There’s issues with the duo?”

“Not really. It’s Piper’s way of trying to get Bunny to stop standing in her own way, as well as in Piper’s way I think.”

Jamie looked confused, but she didn’t say anything as her mouth dropped open as the proposal on the small bridge in the park played out in front of her. Harley took photos, Jamie scribbled in a notebook, and Piper and Jo spoke words that Siena couldn’t hear. All while Siena’s heart slowly cracked along fissures that might actually be irreparable.

“Wow.” Jamie nodded as she closed her notebook and looked at Siena. For a moment, Siena saw her Jamie. The one who sparkled and strode through the world like nothing could ever have the power to damage her. But just as quickly it disappeared once more.

“So, you’re okay with the rules? Do you need anything clarified?”

“I understand. You want it published on a no name blog, where few if any people might actually see it. I’ll send you the link so you can show Bunny.”

“But don’t post it yet.” Siena rushed to add. “Please. I’m hoping Piper and Jo realize how absolutely absurd the entire thing is before we need to actually show Bunny. But yes, that’s where it would be best to be posted.”

“All right.” Jamie nodded and straightened her back as she squared her shoulders. “Thank you very much for this opportunity, as strange as it is. I’ll hear from you if and when you would like me to publish it.”

“Jamie.” Siena tried, despite the cracking sound of the growing fissure within her.

“Professional. That’s all we can be,” Jamie answered the unasked questions that had filled Siena all afternoon. “I’ll let you know the link once you give the go ahead. Bye Siena.”

Jamie started walking off before Siena could even say goodbye.

She didn’t want to say goodbye.

The cracks in her chest grew louder and she watched Jamie disappear along the path that headed back to the parking lot.