Page 30 of Is It Casual Now?

thirty

Jamie’s heart beat out a samba in her chest as she stepped into the ground floor foyer of the building that housed D.Y.K.E. Management. She didn’t quite manage a chuckle at the name. She had always found it amusing, but now, after getting to know Siena, the name made her even more amused.

But not today. Her palms were sweaty, and she had turned around three times before finally getting up the courage to step over the threshold.

The first time she’d stepped foot in here had been for entirely different reasons. She’d come to seduce, to fuck, to play a game of flirting with Siena because she knew without a doubt that Siena was evenly matched with her on that front. And Jamie hadn’t been disappointed.

But now was different.

This time Jamie was there fully knowing what Siena was like, in bed and out of it, and that something needed to change—and it wasn’t Siena. Steeling herself to be brave, not the false bravado she often presented but true bravery, she strode toward the elevator and jabbed her pointer finger into the button.

She stepped inside and straightened her clothes, pulling down the green sweaterdress that she’d chosen to wear that day and trying to make herself look far more professional than she felt. This wasn’t a personal call.

At least, not entirely.

But this was her new start on life, and Jamie was going to take the bull by the horns and make it right. Even if she was booted out on her ass in the process. But she had to do this, no matter what. Siena deserved an explanation and Jamie deserved the airtime to let her know what had happened.

The office was pristine, just like the last time Jamie had been there. The walls were a light white-gray, the couches in the waiting area were all modern, and the front desk was devoid of any type of clutter. It was the exact opposite of what Jamie’s office would ever look like.

“Hi,” Jamie said, plastering on a smile. “I’m here to speak with Ms. Frazee.”

The woman at the desk looked up at her curiously. Her eyes were dark, her hair cut into a sharp frame of her face with bangs that went right across her forehead. Jamie didn’t remember that look from her.

“Did you get a haircut?” Jamie squinted with a smile on her lips. “Because that looks fabulous on you.”

“Thank you.” The woman smiled sweetly. “But placations won’t get you in to see Ms. Frazee without an appointment.”

“Oh! That’s not… I wasn’t… I genuinely meant that. I really like it. I could never pull off something like that. My sister and I were forced into bangs when we were kids, and it was all the rave of the nineties. Never again.”

The woman laughed lightly. Jamie tried her best to remember her name, but for the life of her, she couldn’t pull it out of her brain. She really needed to do better at that. Jessie remembered everyone’s name, and it always made them smile when she did. Maybe that was why she was so damn popular.

“Oh, those were the days, weren’t they?” The young woman—she had to be younger than Jamie, right?—smiled up at her from her desk. Then her smile faltered. “You don’t have an appointment with Ms. Frazee.”

“I know I don’t. I just…” Jamie pressed her lips together hard. “I need to talk to her about the engagement drama. I have some information that she’ll want.” This had to work. It wasn’t just getting to Siena, it was getting past the bulldog at the gate. Not that this woman was anything like that, but she had no doubt that she could be if pushed in the right way.

The woman furrowed her brow and picked up the phone on her desk.

SCORE!

Jamie withheld doing a little victory dance. She hadn’t quite made it into the main event yet, but she was at least one step closer. The words spoken were so quiet that Jamie couldn’t quite hear what was being said, but when the woman put the receiver down, she stared up at Jamie with a placating smile and nothing else.

“So…?” Jamie asked, hoping that would get her some kind of answer as to whether or not she was invited in.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Siena’s voice cracked through the main office.

Jamie jumped, spinning around and facing down the one person she’d never been more scared to confront. Not because she was scared of Siena, no. It was because she was scared of what this would mean for her.

“I need to talk to you,” Jamie said, her voice only wobbling a little. She was actually impressed at how she managed to keep that under control.

“A phone call would suffice.”

“You know, I did think about that.” Jamie pressed one finger to her lips and then shook her head. “But it wasn’t going to suffice.”

Siena narrowed her eyes at Jamie, as if debating what to do with her next. Jamie held her breath. She was only a few steps away from getting to the main event, and now it was Siena who was blocking her path, the one person that she really needed to talk to.

“This better be good.” Siena pointed at Jamie and then focused on the woman still sitting at her desk. “Push back my two o’clock.”

“Yes, Ms. Frazee.”

Siena squared her shoulders and turned around, not giving Jamie any indication as to whether or not she should follow. Jamie balked and watched as the woman went to work. “Uh… what was your name again? I’m so bad with names.”

“Paula.”

“Oh! Cool. Thanks for uh… getting me in.” Jamie flashed her a smile and tried to make herself seem softer, but it definitely didn’t work. She’d get better at that with time, wouldn’t she?

Skipping a step, she raced after Siena and headed straight for her office.

As soon as she stepped inside, Jamie shut the door. The last thing she needed was for Paula to overhear this conversation. When she looked up, Siena was seated on the edge of her desk, arms crossed, and a very pissed off look on her face.

“You really do have some nerve showing up here.”

“I know.” Jamie put her hands up. “But I couldn’t guarantee that you’d take my call, and I wanted to explain this to you in person.”

“Then explain.”

“I didn’t leak the fake-engagement stuff.”

Siena raised an eyebrow at her, but didn’t say anything beyond that. Was she listening? Was she accepting that this might be a possibility? Hell if Jamie knew, but she did have to push forward and finish out her explanation.

“I was at home with the worst migraine on the face of the planet when it went live. Jessie will tell you that. I didn’t even know about it for a while until you left me that… oh so lovely message on my phone.” Jamie rolled her eyes and then caught herself. “Sorry. I just… I was puking my guts out from the pain, and I promise you, Siena, I didn’t post it.”

Siena still didn’t speak or move. The hard look gracing her face was so difficult for Jamie to distinguish and understand. Normally Siena would be screaming at her by now, right? That’s how their normal conversations went.

Nervously, Jamie tugged down the edge of her dress again and continued her explanation. “I had a young colleague at the paper, Scott, and he sort of befriended me in the last few months. Well, I befriended him because I realized I didn’t have any friends and you kind of pointed out that I was a bitch, so I was trying to not be that and change who I was.”

Siena waved her hands before stopping them. “What are you going on about?”

“Nothing. That’s not relevant. Anyway, Scott drove me home that day because I couldn’t drive. It was that bad.” Jamie bit the inside of her cheek. “Scott is the one who leaked it.”

“You left sensitive information out where anyone could access it?” Siena put her hands on her hips and stood up. She stretched her back and closed her eyes, raising her face to the ceiling. “Are you really stupid enough to do that?”

“Well, no one paid attention to me until…” Jamie stopped. “Until I started being nicer to them and then they did.” Fuck, this really was her fault, wasn’t it? She’d worked hard to be nicer and more likable and that had led her to right where she was now. Betrayed and betraying. “I know it’s a fuckup,” Jamie said. “I shouldn’t have done it, but I did, and in my migraine state, I didn’t even think about it until I found the packet under my couch cushion.”

Siena frowned, shaking her head in confusion.

Jamie shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. Yes, this is on me, but no, I didn’t intentionally leak the information.” She held her hands in front of her, wringing them together as she waited for whatever judgement Siena was going to rain down on her.

Because surely there had to be some.

Jamie had fucked with people’s lives for years, but she’d never faced the repercussions of that quite like she did now. And now it hurt. God, it ripped her to bits to see Siena standing there looking like the world was on her shoulders, the weight of fixing everything, the pain of knowing that Jamie had been the one to cause all of that. It hurt her too.

“I’m so sorry,” Jamie murmured, her voice gentle into the office as she continued to watch every inch of Siena’s body for a sign that she was doing something right. “I’m so sorry that I hurt you.”

Siena sighed and then pinched the bridge of her nose.

The silence was damn unnerving.

“Do you know how much my life has been a living hell lately?” Siena’s tone was filled with unrestrained anger. “How much damage I’ve had to repair and fix and deal with?”

Jamie shook her head, locking her eyes on Siena’s. “No. But I can imagine.”

Siena blew out a breath, ruffling the hair that fell around her face. She straightened her shoulders and suddenly strode toward the door, locking it. Siena spun back around, pressing her shoulders to the door and staring Jamie down.

“It hasn’t just been because of the leak.”

“I-it hasn’t?” Jamie stammered.

“No.” Siena pursed her lips, staying right where she was. Was she scared to get any closer? “You.”

“Me?” Jamie raised her eyebrows in surprise. She pressed her fist to the center of her chest.

“Yes. You.” Siena strode toward her, her long legs carrying her across the room in a matter of seconds. “You’re what I’ve been dealing with. ”

“I don’t understand.” Jamie stared up into Siena’s dark eyes, her gaze flicking down to Siena’s full lips. She wasn’t here for that, but she couldn’t deny that the sexual attraction between them had never been the actual problem. It was always something else that came between them.

“Fix it.”

“Fix what?” Jamie shook her head, not understanding or tracking where Siena was going with the conversation.

“Fix the leak.”

“I…” Jamie paused, her heart in her throat. She’d thought about several ways to do that, but she’d never thought that Siena would go for any of them. “I can’t fix the leak. I can’t take it back.”

“Help me with damage control. I can’t do this without a contact in the media.” Siena shoved her hands into her pockets and rocked back on her heels.

Jamie’s breath caught. “I’m not… in the media anymore, Siena.”

“What?”

“I was fired.” Jamie frowned. “I never got that interview with Bunny and Piper, so my boss fired me.”

“Yet stole the leaked information?”

“There’s not a whole lot of ethics in the media—well, not that side of things, anyway.” Jamie rolled her eyes. “He probably would have fired me anyway because it wasn’t the interview that I’d promised him. Or maybe he would have kept me on so that I could continue to be at his beck and call. I don’t know. But yeah, I was fired this week.”

“Jamie…” Siena’s voice dropped. She closed her eyes and bit her lip. “I’m so sorry.”

Jamie shrugged. “It’s not the first time I’ve been fired in my life. I doubt it’ll be the last with my track record.”

They stood awkwardly together. Jamie wasn’t sure what to do or say next, because she’d come there to say what she had to, and yet, there was something else on the tip of her tongue that was itching to get out. But she definitely didn’t have the courage to say that.

“Help me,” Siena whispered.

“I can’t help you.” Jamie shrugged. “I’m sorry, but I can’t.”

“You can.” Siena stepped closer, right into the space in front of Jamie. “I know you can.”

“How?”

“Just because you don’t have a job and access to a professional media outlet doesn’t mean that you can’t start a media storm. I’ve seen you do it before. Do it again.” Siena curled her hand around Jamie’s cheek. “Do it for me.”

Closing her eyes, Jamie tilted her face into the touch. Why did this feel so amazing? She wanted to say yes. She wanted to do anything for Siena, but she feared she wouldn’t be able to pull through on this one. Creating a media storm with that first article she’d written after their one-night stand had been pure coincidence. Jamie hadn’t done anything special with it, had she?

“Jamie,” Siena murmured. “Help me.”

“Okay.” Jamie closed her eyes and pressed her forehead into Siena’s shoulder. “Okay, I’ll try. But don’t get mad if I don’t manage to do it.”

Siena hummed, her chest vibrating. “I have full confidence that you can do whatever you put your mind to.”

“You might be the only one.” Jamie couldn’t stop the comment, but it was how she truly felt. She’d never been able to pull her head out of her ass, and now wasn’t any different.

“We have one more thing we need to talk about before we get to work,” Siena said, cupping the back of Jamie’s head and keeping her right in the circle of her arms.

“What’s that?” Jamie muttered, really not wanting to step back at all. She wanted to stay right here for as long as she could. And that was the problem, wasn’t it? She never wanted to leave Siena’s embrace. She wanted to live here.

But she had to move.

Pulling away, Jamie took a step back and looked up just as Siena’s lips covered hers. The kiss was soft, a gentle plying of lips against lips. Jamie breathed in Siena’s scent, remembering those moments of being surrounded by her. On the few times that she’d allowed that to happen. Siena tilted her back slightly, tracing her lower lip with her tongue.

Jamie sighed. Her eyes fluttered shut, and her entire body rocked into Siena’s. She just needed Siena to catch her, just this once. Jamie gripped onto Siena’s sides, fisting her hands in the soft, silky fabric of her blouse under her jacket. And she held on with everything that she had. She couldn’t let go.

Siena pulled back, breathing a little harder than before, and she pressed their foreheads together. Jamie held onto the silence, scared of whatever words were about to happen. But she knew them even before Siena said them.

“Us. We need to talk about us.”