Page 37 of Is It Casual Now?

thirty-seven

One Year Later…

“Well, now, this all feels a little bit odd if I’m going to be honest.” Jessie smiled as Siena stepped into the classroom and walked across to where Jessie sat at her desk.

With her hands on the back of the chair opposite Jessie, Siena looked around again at the colors and the artwork that surrounded them.

“Considering Harley’s no longer in your class, I suppose so.” Siena smiled and finally took her seat in the chair.

Harley was growing up so fast. Siena couldn’t quite believe how big her baby was getting. Time kept flying past, and she hated imagining how soon Harley would be in the world keeping her mothers awake with worry.

“Yeah, but also you’re Jamie’s partner.” Jessie chuckled softly. “Which is just another thing that’s truly odd. Being able to say that.”

“True.” Siena chuckled. “But I didn’t want to risk Jamie overhearing. ”

“Overhearing what?” Jessie asked.

“Well.” Siena took a deep breath and forced herself to sit a little straighter in the uncomfortable chair. “I know you and Jamie cut off your parents several years ago.”

Jessie confirmed with a nod when Siena paused and looked pointedly at her.

“Well, I know it’s not as though I need to ask permission or anything, but…” Why the hell was she babbling? She wasn’t a babbler. Perhaps spending so much time with Jamie had rubbed off on her as much as Siena seemed to have influenced Jamie.

“Oh my God!” Jessie squealed and jumped up from her chair. She raced around her desk and wrapped her arms around Siena.

The entire reaction to words Siena hadn’t quite managed to say yet stunned her into stillness for a moment before laughter escaped through her mouth.

“You’re going to propose right?” Jessie moved her head back but kept her arms around Siena.

Siena lifted one arm at the elbow—her bicep still gripped by Jessie kept the rest of her arm pinned to her side—and gently patted Jessie’s strangling forearm.

“Yes, that’s definitely what I’m wanting to do.”

“Well, if you are wanting my approval or anything, first Jamie wouldn’t care either way and you totally don’t need it. But yes, I can’t wait to have you officially as my sister-in-law. And oh, that means Harley will be my niece! This is the most exciting thing.”

Jessie finally let go of Siena and wandered back to her side of the desk.

“I’m glad you approve. But,” Siena swallowed audibly, “permission wasn’t exactly what I came to ask.”

“It wasn’t?” Jessie looked confused.

“Not exactly.” Siena put her hands together and wrung them as she searched for the right words. “The proposal.” She winced. She was doing an awful job at this. Not that the first time she’d proposed had gone any better.

“You want help with proposing?”

Siena chuckled nervously. “Yes. I want to propose in a way that shows her just how much she means to me. How much I want to know everything about her, past, present, and sharing her future.”

“Awww.” Jessie nodded, her face breaking into a wide smile.

“And I want to show her that family can be both blood and found. Not just one or the other.”

“Ah.” Jessie nodded knowingly.

They hadn’t exactly discussed the issues Jamie faced from how she and Jessie were brought up. But they had all skated around the topic more often than Siena had expected over the last twelve months. It was an issue she could see Jamie wanting to work through but not quite having the confidence and enough feeling of value within herself to address it yet. Siena knew it wasn’t her place to fix Jamie. She was perfect and didn’t need any fixing. But she wanted to offer as safe a place as she could provide. And Jamie deserved the world.

“All right. Any idea when you were thinking of doing this?”

“Well, it’s her birthday in a few months, so I was hoping to get things figured out for then. It’s September thirteenth.” Siena looked up to find Jessie smirking.

“I may be familiar with that date.”

“Right, of course you are.” Siena shook her head. Long ago she had stopped seeing them as carbon copies of each other. Beyond their initial, and yes identical looks, their identities were entirely separate and different from the other.

“So, have you got any ideas?” Jessie asked.

“A few,” Siena replied, a smile dancing on her lips. “But you know her better than anyone else. Any chance you might have some ideas of what she might expect, or have ever wanted in a proposal?”

She saw the sparkle in Jessie’s eyes and knew she had definitely come to the right person about this. It surprised Siena how much the two of them seemed to have in common. At first it was hard to see beyond the physical similarities between Jamie and Jessie, and then not to think of Jessie as simply Harley’s teacher, or Jamie’s sister.

Sometimes Siena still failed at that, but Jessie and Jamie weren’t just twins. Jessie was the closest thing Jamie had ever had to a friend. Even if she still dismissed Jessie’s love at times for something Jessie had to do as family.

“I have so many ideas.” Jessie beamed. “But we can’t do it here. The janitors will be in soon, and I need to get out of here.”

“That’s okay. I have to get going soon as well. But I wanted to get started on it all, and asking you in person was necessary.”

“Thank you.” Jessie’s eyes glistened.

“I wouldn’t dream of doing it without you being involved, or at least knowing about it first.”

“I am so excited and can’t wait to get into the nitty gritty with you. Message me, and we’ll find a time to get together.”

Siena had a bounce in her step as she walked out of the school and headed home. It had gone so much better than planned, and seeing Jessie so excited and happy for Jamie filled Siena with such love for her future sister-in-law.

Assuming Jamie said yes.

Over the next few weeks, surreptitious texts and phone calls were exchanged. Siena found her mind wandering to different ideas and possibilities of how and where she would propose to Jamie.

There were the usual settings—beach, romantic restaurant, up in a hot air balloon. But nothing seemed to fit or feel quite right.

Whenever she would question if she even knew what the hell she was doing, Jessie would tut-tut her and spark the excitement back into Siena.

Siena loved Jamie, but she wanted this to be perfect for them.

Jessie: You and Jamie are two peas in a pod. Perfect doesn’t exist. You’ve both been around the entertainment business and airbrushed photos for far too long.

Siena: Ha! Maybe.

It was after a particularly excited Jamie came home from work one day, positively buzzing about the latest drama to do with one of Ingrid’s clients, that Siena got the best idea yet for how to propose in the grandest of ways to Jamie.

When Jamie went for a shower, Siena quickly typed out a message to Jessie.

Siena: Drama. We need to add some juicy drama. It’s what she lives for. And it would make the entire experience catered just to her.

Jessie: Oh brilliant idea. I love it .

Siena: She’ll like it right?

Siena didn’t enjoy the way she questioned herself in ways she never had before when it came to this proposal, but despite Jessie’s scolding, she couldn’t shake her desire for this proposal to be absolutely perfect. It would be the last one she ever did. Jamie was her forever, and that needed to be honored in every way possible with each step forward in their relationship.

Jamie came out of the shower, water drops still beading across her collarbone above the towel she had wrapped around her body.

“What are you doing?” She smiled and flopped down on her back on the bed beside Siena.

Siena’s mind threatened to fizzle out at the expanse of bare legs that hung over the edge of the bed.

“Work stuff. Shouldn’t be long.” Siena jumped off the bed before she got any more distracted. She was finally onto something for this proposal, and if she looked at Jamie any longer, all ideas would vanish, never to be returned.

It blew her mind that the mere sight of Jamie could still cause her such distraction. But she couldn’t imagine ever getting sick of touching her, making love to her, ravishing her until she screamed her name and lost her voice. She’d only lost her voice once, but it was something Siena aimed to achieve again and again during their life together.

“Oh, all right then.” Jamie’s eyes radiated a sadness that Siena would ease later, but right now she had to get this figured out. She was tired of planning. She just wanted to propose.

In her office, she looked at her phone again.

Jessie: Absolutely. Can you use something plausible from work ?

Siena: Definitely. I think I know exactly who I can ask a favor of to make it look more legitimate than she could imagine.

Jessie: Bunny and Piper?

Siena: Half right :-)

Jessie: Excellent. You work on that end, and I’ll keep working on getting the ring sorted.

Siena: Thanks, Jessie. You’re the best.

Jessie: Gotta work hard to keep up with Jamie.

The last text was joined by some laughing winky smiley faces, and Siena knew Jessie was trying to play into the myth Jamie always had that Jessie was the perfect golden child. But this wasn’t the first time the joke had fallen flat.

From the outside looking in, it was obvious to Siena that the environment the twins had been brought up in had managed to create a competition between the two of them. As though neither of them had quite felt like they were good enough when they had an exact copy of themselves deemed better to compare themselves to daily.

“Babe?” Jamie knocked on Siena’s office door.

Siena jumped and muttered a curse before she stepped to the door and opened it. Disappointment pooled in her belly as she noted Jamie’s pajamas were on. Not that it had ever stopped them, but it did seem to be a step backward from the half dry, naked Jamie who had sprawled on the bed beside her.

“Hey.” Siena smiled. It dropped almost instantly as she took in the expression on Jamie’s face. “Is everything okay? ”

“I don’t know. Is it?”

“Huh?” Siena could have smacked herself in the forehead for that inarticulate response.

Jamie shook her head. “Sorry, it’s nothing.”

“Hey,” Siena pulled Jamie back as she tried to walk away. “Baby, please don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what?” Jamie asked, cold fire sparking behind the crystal of her eyes.

“Don’t dismiss what you’re thinking or feeling. Please tell me what’s wrong.”

Jamie’s shoulders dropped, and the defensiveness she had carried with her since Siena had opened the door dropped away. “I just had this feeling you were hiding something from me, and my mind kind of spiraled I guess.”

“Oh.” Siena cradled Jamie’s cheek in her hand.

Jamie pushed into the touch and closed her eyes.

“I’m so sorry, but please trust me. I only left the room because I couldn’t concentrate on what I needed to work out with your gorgeous body laid out so temptingly beside me.”

“Really?” Hope flared in those beautiful eyes. Eyes Siena would willingly gaze into for forever. And hoped to.

“I’m insatiable when it comes to you. Haven’t you figured that out yet?” Siena asked.

Jamie smiled, and a small chuckle escaped her lips. “I may have suspected once or twice over the last year.”

“Suspected?” Siena feigned insult. She removed her hand from Jamie’s face and pressed it, spread, against her chest. “Well, we just might need to do something to amend that.”

“Oh really?” Jamie laughed, that cocky smirk lighting up her entire face once more.

“Mommy?” Harley’s panicked voice came from the bedroom down the hall.

“Go.” Jamie’s face instantly shifted from seductress to stepmom .

Siena couldn’t love her more. She kissed Jamie’s lips hard and fast, a promise of things to come, before she raced down the hall to Harley’s room.

If she ever had any concerns about Jamie truly being her person and the person she could spend forever with, they vanished every time she saw her interact with Harley. Or like tonight, the way she reacted with Harley’s concerns always coming first. Never hesitating and never expecting Siena to have to choose between the two of them.

They were already a family, and Siena couldn’t wait to make that as official as she possibly could.

Jessie had also become the most loved Aunty Siena could have ever hoped for Harley. The woman spoiled the girl, and Siena saw the love shining from Jessie’s eyes. She’d also seen the sadness at times when Jessie thought no one noticed.

Maybe once the proposal had been figured out, Jessie and Siena could get to know each other better, and Siena could help to understand the most important person in Jamie’s life. Just as Jamie understood Harley and made every effort to make sure Siena’s daughter knew how much she was loved and wanted when she was at Siena’s.

“Mommy.” Harley wrapped her arms around Siena’s neck and buried herself into her mother’s chest.

“Another nightmare, Batman?” Siena asked softly as she brushed her fingers lightly through her daughter’s sweaty hair.

She felt the nod and the shuddering breath from her daughter and held on just a little bit tighter.

“Mommy, can you stay in here with me tonight?” Harley asked as she yawned, her eyes and body already growing heavy and limp in Siena’s arms.

“Of course, she can,” Jamie said as she stood in the doorway of Harley’s room.

“Are you sure?” Siena mouthed.

Jamie smiled and nodded .

“Mommy Jamie.” Harley yawned and wriggled back into her bed, pulling Siena down to curl around her as she did.

It didn’t take long for Harley to fall back asleep. Siena uncurled herself from Harley’s body, waiting to make sure her daughter remained peacefully asleep, and slid out to find Jamie. She found her in the kitchen, leaning against the island counter and flipping through a gossip magazine.

“You really are obsessed with the tabloids, aren’t you?”

“Of course. Who couldn’t love the drama?” Jamie looked up, a smile wide but natural over her face. “Is Harley okay?”

“Yeah. Are you sure it’s okay I stay in there tonight?”

“Of course,” Jamie said, eyebrows narrowed as though trying to work out why Siena would even question that. “And I know she didn’t mean Mommy Jamie when she said it before, but it sounded so adorable.”

“Look at you liking kids.”

“Nope.” Jamie shook her head as she wrapped her arms around Siena’s body, Siena’s arms instantly going around Jamie’s neck. “I don’t like kids. But I do like Harley, and Rebel is a total hoot.”

“Rebel is crazy.”

“I know.” Jamie laughed. “That’s what I love about her. My mini me in the making.”

“You can only hope. God, I love you.”

“I love you, too. Now go make sure that cute kid of yours is okay. She needs her mommy, and she needs to know she’s never second place to anyone.”

Siena hadn’t really understood how amazing Jamie was about her parental responsibilities, but that one sentence made things fit into place a whole lot more.

“You aren’t second place, either. You know that, right?”

“I know.” Jamie smiled. “You’ve never made me feel like I am. ”

“Good.” Siena returned to Harley’s room, curling around her daughter and ensuring she got some nightmare-free sleep.