Page 40

I can tell that something is off. She has barely said anything in the hour that we’ve been here. Is there something on her mind? Her silence now scares me. Her father’s words echo in my mind- Riya doesn’t share her deepest emotions. She keeps to herself even if it eats her from inside.

But after everything that we’ve been through, I hope she trusts me again.

I trust you with my heart, body and soul.

She’d told me this once upon a time. I don’t want to be the same person who she said that to, but I want to be someone better. Someone who trusts her just as much. Someone who knows how much she can handle by herself, and someone who will always be there if she needs me. Because I need her.

“You can just say whatever is on your mind.” I break the ice. The silence was just too deafening. “I swear that it’s fine if you don’t miss me back.” I want to smack my head so bad right now for saying that. “And we can work on…” I take a deep breath. I have to continue with this now that I have started it. “...Us if that’s what you want.” I quickly add.

She forces a smile. “Why didn’t you tell me about Caleb?”

“Riya…I…that was stupid of me and I never thought that you and I…that…us…we…that you would ever want to be with me let alone love me and I was afraid that you would judge me and my family and leave me. I know that was stupid of me to think, but I have never told anyone about Caleb. I was always scared for him. That people would drag him through hell…the media…press…people…I’m sorry.” I exhale as I finish sharing my side of the story.

“I am not talking about that. I am referring to the day I…we fought and I left. Caleb fell down the stairs that day, didn’t he? When you were shouting out for me…” she pauses. I see the visible gulp that she swallows. “Was it because you needed help with Caleb? You didn’t even have your phone that day.” she sniffles and presses her hands together on the table.

I put my hand on hers and she sniffles. “Baby…it’s all over. There’s no point crying over spilled milk.”

“I should’ve stopped.” she says, not daring to look me in the eye. I don’t know who told her, but whoever did is going to get it from me. “I’m sorry James.” she sniffles and gathers her bag and gets up to leave.

“Wait…what? Hey don’t go.” I try to get a hold of her but she’s gone. I chase after her and stop her. She can’t just leave a middle conversation.

“You’re mad at me for not telling you? You were the one who left, Riya.” I say softly. The last time I raised my voice at her, it all went to hell. “And I am not blaming you for anything. I was going to tell you eventually, but you had a lot on your plate to deal with. I didn’t want to add more. And it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t push Caleb off the stairs. And he’s fine now, so it’s all good. Okay? You don’t have to burden yourself with it. He is doing just fine.”

She sniffles and still doesn’t meet my eyes, but she nods. “Who told you?” I ask her.

The only ones who knew were the boys and my father.

“Who?” I ask her again. Calmly.

“George.” she says. I inhale a sharp breath. I am going to kill George. He had no right to tell her. She holds the sleeve of my jacket and looks at me with teary eyes that punch me in the gut. “I forced him to tell me. Well, I blackmailed him. Nonetheless, he did not disclose any of it voluntarily.”

I know that George is scared of Riya, but is he actually scared of her? And what did she blackmail him with? None of that matters right now. What matters is that I don’t want Riya to blame herself even for a second.

I grab her hand in mine and reach for the other hand. I tilt her chin up, until she is looking at me. “Can we press reset and start our relationship anew? I love you Raven. I really do. And I know that we both made mistakes in the past, me more than you. But can we please forgive each other and move on? Will you ever be able to forgive me, Raven?” She breaks down into sobs. I pull her close to my chest and pat her back slowly.

We both are broken people who have been broken to mold each other.

She pulls the collar of my shirt down and presses her lips on mine. I inhale her floral scent sharply and tangle my hand in her hair and pull her closer to myself. Does this mean yes? Does this mean that she still loves me? Does this mean that there is still a WE ?

“I need you, James.” she pants between our kisses. Her place is closer than mine. She grabs my hand in her tiny hand and leads me to her car. “Do you need me?” she asks me before turning on the ignition of her car.

I caress her face with my hand and tell her. “Let me show you how much.”

◆◆◆

We make our way to her house, keeping a safe distance between us. A distance too long for my taste. A carefully calculated distance that still kept me in the range of her scent. She closes the door behind her and looks up at me with those beautiful brown eyes that I yearned for!

I close the distance in one step and rest my arms on her shoulders, cornering her against the door. “Riya…” I exhale, wanting to crash my lips on her and devour her right this second, but I also know that we have a lot to talk about before. And I don’t want to force her into anything.

Her breath hitches visibly and she breathes faster, I quickly take a step back and grant her space. “Are you okay? I’m sorry…”

She keeps shaking her head. “I’m fine.” she keeps saying. I hold back my tears and bear the stabbing pain in my heart when I realise that she is not saying it to me. I don’t want to spook her by going too close. I’m afraid that I might scare her. I don’t want Riya to be scared of me. I can’t bear the thought!

“Riya…Raven…It’s just us.” I say from a distance. “We don’t have to.” I smile at her and she looks back at me with tears in her eyes.

She falls to the ground, holding her face in her hands, sobbing and crying. I bite my tongue so hard that it bleeds. I can taste it. My blood. But even that hurts less than watching the woman I love break down. I move closer to her, announcing my eyes step, until I softly wrap my arms around her. I feel her gasps and tiny chokes against my chest. I tell her to let it all out.

“Every time I close my eyes, it’s like I’m back in that room. Jake is crawling on top of me and I am fighting him off. Bleak. I really try to forget it all, James. I just…I’m scared.” I slowly pat her head and her back, trying to console her in the best way possible.

“You’re not only out of that room, but you’re out of that house now. Anyone who tries to harm you will have to go through me. And I know how to tackle people in a way that will break their bones. You’re safe now, Riya.” I tilt her chin to face me. “I know it is going to take time and I know that things will never be the same. But you have to wake up now babe. The sun has risen and the night is over.” I force a faint and weak smile at her.

“The nightmare is now over Raven.”