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It has been three weeks since my last meeting with the PI and he asked me to give him a month before he gave me some concrete information. He’d only ever contacted me once before and asked me to hire security. For reasons that he would explain altogether. Luckily, Cole’s half brother hooked me up with a great security company. My bodyguard- Ian, was so discreet that sometimes even I wondered if he was there or not.

I had zero plans for my birthday. None. Whatsoever. That was until Dan, Sid and George crashed at my place with beer and whiskey. When I told them that I had no intention of partying, they told me that all we were going to do was drink in silence and get hammered. And we did. Get hammered. So hammered that I called James 57 times and yelled at him for not coming to meet me or giving me any gift of any sort. I did regret all of it the next day, but a guilt ridden Dan got up from the carpet of my living room and gave me the box of jewellery that James had bought for me.

I was dissociated after that week and isolated myself so much that even when my parents had called me and had asked me about my strange behaviour tons of times but I couldn’t muster up the courage to tell them what had happened to me. I felt…ashamed. Knowing well that it was I who was wronged. Still, ashamed.

I’d just lied to them that the stress of the senior year was getting to me and that I wanted to be left alone. And it had hurt me just as deeply as it’d hurt them that I shunned them out. They’d even asked Maura to check up on me. She was on her way to come and meet me in person and it took an hour of convincing to get her to turn her car around and go back. She was finally happy with Keith and things were starting to look good for her. If she came here, it would just pull her down.

I would have to tell everyone eventually. But not now. Not until I obtain substantial proof.

I did file a police complaint against Jake for sexual assault. I’d opened myself. I’d become vulnerable. But the complaint was resolved mysteriously and the police officer in charge had quit his job and moved to some unknown place with his entire family.

The reality itself was so disturbing that I knew that there is something about Jake that I should be scared of. There is something that I need to uncover. Something that might require balls to face.

◆◆◆

“I didn’t know that you could master that drawing. It took you…an entire 43 seconds to draw it this time.” The girl sitting next to me peeps into my tablet. I had drawn four mountains, the sun between the valley in the middle and a river flowing through the middle. A house next to the river and four trees next to the house. Three birds in the sky and two clouds. That was probably the 80th time I was drawing that same thing. It somehow soothed me.

“Hey…I’m not judging.” She quickly backed her statement after my silence. “The drawings are pretty and this journalism class is hella boring. So, I get it.” She smiles wide at me.

I just look at her confusingly. This girl–woman is probably the most beautiful woman I have seen. Slender yet slightly curvy figure and a face carved to shy Aphrodite. High cheekbones and sharp jawline. Very full lips, cat eyes and the longest natural lashes I'd ever seen on a woman. “Sorry, I didn’t tell you my name. I’m Jamilah.” she offers up her hand. And her warm chestnut complexion highlighted her features even more.

I give her a faint smile and shake her hand. “Riya.” I say.

“Sorry Riya, I’m very chatty. I usually just talk to myself on the camera. And when I try to have a conversation with a real human, I just start babbling.” she goes on and I cannot help but smile. I was like that before I went too silent. She smiles back at me and then it clicks me

“Are you jams_skincare?” I remember George was once raving about a skin care routine and bought almost all of the skin care products after watching her video.

She flashes me her teeth, telling me that maybe getting recognized is not something she is comfortable with. “Yeah…that’s me!”

“No wonder you have such amazing skin!” We both break out into a big laugh and get attention and a ‘throat clearing’ from our Professor.

“Silence. Ladies.” We both looked at each other and suppressed a smile. Thankfully, class is over in the next fifteen minutes after the Professor had to run out for a cheese emergency!

“I hope her diarrhea never ends!” I shrug and Jamilah breaks out into a huge laugh. I cannot help but stare at her as she laughs in a way that I have seen models do.

“Sorry, but have I been living under a rock? Because why haven’t we met before?” she taps my shoulder. Did I mention that she is very friendly and easy to talk to as well?

My stomach gurgles as soon as we make it out of the hall. And Jamilah turned to look at me, giving me an innocent and lonely look. “You want to grab lunch together?” I ask her. And she does those small jumps in excitement which somehow make me happy from within. It makes me feel that I am not alone. That I have a friend. I didn’t realise until now how much I was yearning for a friend. A female friend.

“I’d love to!” Her face lights up with genuine happiness.

We walk to a nearby Thai restaurant and order food for ourselves. “So, what are you studying?” I ask her first.

“I’m majoring in Poli Sci since I want to go to Law School after this. But people don’t really assume that I’d want to be a lawyer or that I have the potential. Everyone around me just presumes that I will always be an influencer.” There is a moment of silence as she swirls around her glass of water. I cannot stop myself from admiring her long, slender fingers. Gold rings in her ring and index fingers.

She finally looks at me, after the silence prolonged and gives me a smile that reaches her eyes, but is clearly fake. I wonder how many times she had to do that. Smile when all she wanted to do was cry. “Don’t get me wrong…I love being an influencer. It pays my rent and my tuition and for all the stuff I have. But…” A gulp.

“Is it easy to smile like that?” I voice my thoughts. Her eyes immediately caught mine and the smile from her face waned. As if I’d caught her lie.

“I’ll admit it. You are the first one to be able to catch my lie.” She ponders over what to say. So unlike her usual self that I’d met half an hour ago.

I understood how uncomfortable I must have made her. Maybe now she doesn’t want to be friends with me. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…”

“It takes one to know one.” She looks at me with a smile again. A real smile. A painful smile. “I suppose…” she took another sip of her water. My eyes water up and I felt a strange pang in my chest.

As if I am ousted.

As if my facade is finally recognized.

I thought I had been very good at hiding it. I thought I was able to bury my emotions. That no one but my pillow and my blanket knew the horrors that I relived every night when I’d wake up covered in sweat and tears, panting, gasping for breath. As I’d imagined Jake crawling on top of me…trying to…I felt dirty and rubbed my body excessively with a loofah. That was my every night routine, unless I was drunk and passed out. I have scabs all over my body from trying to get rid of that feeling of being touched in a way that repulsed me.

“I’m sorry.” she says as she just watches me stare down at my feet. Sweat clings to my back as I feel it trickle down. Goosebumps on my entire body and all the color from my face fades.

I never thought I would be able to talk about it, but somehow I feel ready now. Ready to tell someone. Anyone. “I was almost raped. Three weeks ago. By my best friend’s boyfriend.” I have zero thoughts in my mind but my mouth isn’t able to stop from spilling my darkest secrets. “I was saved because of her, not by her. And after all that, her boyfriend claimed that it was me who forced myself on him and she believed it.” I finally stop and I don’t dare to look up and see her reaction. Pity. I know it is going to be a pitiful look. It has to be.

A hand caresses my sweat drenched cold palms. I flick my tear filled eyes up to her and another smile. She is smiling! But it isn’t a happy smile. It is…She is angry. She doesn’t pity me. She looks vengeful. “Thank you for sharing it with me.” She gets out of her seat and doesn’t let go of my hand.

“Where are you going? The food isn’t even here…Unless…” She doesn’t want to be friends with someone like me. “It’s alright.” I smile at her. “I can understand.”

She growls silently. “I wish I could slap some sense into you right now.” she finally drops her inviting smile. “You don’t understand anything. Just because she was your ‘best friend’” she does the air quotes. “Does not mean that you can let her trample all over you.” she tightens her grip on my clammy hand. “And we are going to chop that man’s no….he’s not even a human. We are going to chop that reptile’s dick off.” She says sternly.

“I think calling him a reptile is an insult to reptiles.” I finally get to hear her genuine laugh. She sits back down and keeps her attention on me. Her laugh fades and she keeps her gaze on me. Waiting.

I am not sure how much I’m supposed to tell a stranger who I’d just met 30 minutes ago, but her eyes twinkle as she holds my hands in her. “If you ever need anything. Anything at all, I want you to call me." She pulls out her phone and gives it to me. I type in my number and save the contact with my name.

She gives me a missed call and I quickly save her number as well. “And if you ever need my professional help…” she smiles at me. “I have a 100% discount code especially for friends.” I smile wider.

I doubt I would ever need a lawyer or even publishing regarding this case, the last thing I want is for everyone to know what happened. But I really appreciate her thought and offer.

We discussed how our Journalism Professor should have been used in war as a weapon, because she would put everyone to sleep and compared her to Jigglypuff from Pokémon over lunch. And when I bid her goodbye, I felt like I finally now have a friend. Someone who will have my back, no matter what. We made plans to meet over the weekend for a coffee date and Jamilah suggested that we go to a pottery class after that.

I get home and change into my PJs and my phone beeps.

A message from James.