Page 13

I have never been so busy in my entire college life. This week was brutal. I was swarmed with schoolwork, ambassador duties, club stuff, and my job. On top of that Maura was trying to reach me to apologise and I have been avoiding her the entire time. I can’t talk to her right now. I put my phone on Do not disturb. Literally the only time I used it was when I sent James those messages.

“I need a massage. Want to go to a spa?” Juju cracks her neck as she walks into the living room. She takes a look at the living corpse on the couch and gets scared. The living corpse is me. Yep, I look awful. Pulling all nighters for most nights, sleep deprived, caffeine deprived, zombie. “Screw that, YOU need a massage, babe.” I just groan and nod my head.

“Want me to make your favourite popcorn and play that weird documentary about hoses?” I shoot and sit up.

“It’s not a documentary about hoses, it’s a documentary about firefighters. And I would love that. You’re watching it with me, right?” I pull a pillow on my stomach and pull the blanket over my feet.

Within five minutes, Juju is sitting next to me with caramel popcorn and we’re watching the Hose documentary. Firefighter Documentary. Slip of tongue.

“I still don’t get why you have a thing for hoses.” she stuffs her mouth with popcorn.

“Not hoses, nozzles. And I don’t have a thing for either. Look at those muscular, sexy and sweaty firefighters. Are you telling me that you’re not wondering about their package?” I chuckle.

“God, you’re so gross. But I totally get that. The firefighter part, not the nozzle part.”

“Again! I don’t have a thing for nozzles.” I totally do. I have a huge thing for nozzles. Especially garden hose nozzles. Back home, I was in charge of watering the plants and cleaning the outdoors, so I handled garden hoses and nozzles since I was a kid, and they grew on me. It’s weird and I know it. And I’m not going to keep thinking about nozzles anymore.

“Ri…” Oopsies. She’s going to ask me something I don’t want to talk about. She even pauses the documentary. Definitely a discussion about a topic which I was avoiding. “About that trip to New York…”

I rub my fingers against my aching forehead. “I don’t want to talk about it, please.”

“Your sister had called me.” she doesn’t look at me.

I spring up my full attention. “When? And why are you telling me this just now?” I can’t believe she kept that from me.

“She called me just before I came downstairs. And she was worried about you. And looking at you right now, I’m worried too. Are you okay?” Am I okay? Hell no! Would I rather pretend that whatever happened in New York between me and my sister never happened? Absolutely! Have I been trying to distract myself to not think about it by doing anything and everything? Yes! But I’m not going to tell that to anyone.

“I’m fine. And you should’ve told me that before, Juju. I can’t believe that you did that.” I am hurt.

“I was just about to tell you, but you looked like you were half dead, so I wanted to cheer you up before I told you. You have been down ever since you came back from New York and you wouldn’t tell me why.”

Why does everybody suffocate me? You can’t hurt me and then ask me how I’m doing when I’m bleeding! Especially when you can see that I’m bleeding. Isn’t the blood oozing out of my body enough of an indicator that I’m hurt? “Isn’t it evident that I didn’t want to talk about it then? I was going to tell you eventually. I wanted to process it myself, Juju. You know what? Forget it. I’m tired. I’m just going to go and sleep.” I take my anger out on the wrong person.

“But–” I pick my bag and walk away. I don’t have the energy to sit there and tell her how I was hurt. James and his friends distracted me well from all that. Maybe that’s what I need. I need to hang out with them. I need distraction, at least until this wound clots!

I make my way to my room and throw my bag in a corner and text James.

You up?

He doesn’t reply.

I was thinking, maybe since we don’t have classes, we could work on the tutoring and interview that we missed this week?

It’s been more than an hour and still no response. So I text Daniel instead.

Hey Dan, sorry to disturb you late at night, but could you let me know if you guys have anything planned for tomorrow?

He replies almost immediately.

No, we have practice early in the morning, but that’s all. Why?

Alright, so you guys aren’t going anywhere, right?

No, we’re not. You stopping by?

Only if that’s okay with you guys.

You don’t need to be so formal with us, Riya. Of course we’d love to have you over. See you tomorrow then.

Yep, see you. And Dan…

??

Could you keep this between us?

Gotcha.

I want to surprise James. I can’t stop thinking about him since the gala. His hand on my thigh felt so good. I pull out my trusty vibrator. Fuck, just thinking about his hand on me makes me wet. I wonder how good it must feel to have him inside me. I flick the vibrator on and press it on my clit and James’ lustful eyes appear before me.

At that moment, I knew he wanted me just as much as I wanted him. I remember when we walked out of the restaurant, it was pouring and we were all soaked before we made it to the car. James’ white shirt was see-through and I could see his beautiful pecs. I could see the outline of his abs as the shirt clinged to his body.

Thankfully, I was soaked too, so I could also torture him just as much. His gaze travelled to the droplets of water that made their way from my lip to my cleavage. Fuck, I could imagine his tongue instead on those droplets. It barely takes me a few more seconds to orgasm. I see stars and everything goes white, before I am back on Earth. Panting. I really needed this. My body needed this release, because I notice how easy it is to drift off to sleep now.

◆◆◆

An orgasm a day, will maybe keep your mental health at bay.

◆◆◆

I get ready and head to James’ place at around twelve, I’m sure they must be home by now. I ring the bell and a very wet Daniel opens the door. His hair is still wet, probably from the shower. He smiles looking at me. “You made it!”

I smile back, not trying to show that I was just checking him out. God, he looks hot! I just try not to gawk and smile at him.

“Come on in.” He leads me inside to where George and Siddharth are sitting with some more muscular and hot men. Some with women on their laps.

“Riya, this is Mike, Josh, Jaren and Howard and that’s Marina, Jaren’s girlfriend and Evelynn, Howard’s girlfriend.” Dan introduces me to everyone. And let me emphasise how handsome everyone is! And their girlfriends…spectacular. Perfect hourglass body and well gelled nails, perfect flowy hair. They are the sheer definition of beauty! Marina is in a cheerleader costume.

Is it a criteria that everyone has to be devilishly handsome to be on Winston's football team?

I greet them. I am so awkward right now. If I knew they were going to have company, I wouldn’t have come over. I have never felt so out of place before. What was I thinking? I mean look at me, and look at them! I am a freaking nobody compared to them.

“Oh my god, I love your anklets that make noise.” Evelynn comments with a smile. I'm not sure if it is a Regina George smile or a genuine one.

“Thank you, they’re my grandmother’s.” she passed on her jewellery to all of us cousins. I got her anklets.

“Antique!” Marina squeaks. Okay…I’m definitely not looking forward to that fun time anymore.

George and Siddharth give each other a we’re out of here and go to the kitchen. It’s weird how in sync those two are!

“Where’s James?” I ask Dan.

“James? Who’s James?” Marina shifts on Jaren’s legs and plays with her blonde hair.

“Is there a James on the team, babe?” Evelynn asks Howard in her cute voice. Which I’m sure is not her real voice. It can’t be! Unless she’s a cartoon. But man these women are some characters!

“He’s upstairs. I can call him, if you want.” Dan comes to my side.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll go upstairs.” I hear a few gasps, mostly from the girlfriends. “I have something to give him anyway.”

During one of our interviews, James told me that his idol after his dad was Derek Vanderwals. And I’d heard from one of my classmates in the journalism class that Derek Vanderwals was going to come to Winston. He is a Winston alumni who is one of the best quarterbacks, NFL has seen. James’ words, not mine.

He was interviewed by none other than one of my friends- Nina Gallenti. And I asked her for a favour to let me get Derek’s signed jersey. So, right now, stuffed in my bag is Derek Vanderwals signed jersey. By the way, Derek Vanderwals- disgustingly handsome. Buffed body and that beard. Fuck, he was hot despite being fourty eight years old!

“Please…Please…” I hear a woman’s moans from James’ room. Is he watching porn? I wonder if he is jerking off, right now. God, why does that make me wet? Thinking about James stroking himself. I want to hear him when he’s coming.

Something naughty in me pushes me to go and open his door. I want to see him jerk off. No, I want to be the one he jerks off to. God! He’s driving me crazy.

Just as I open the door I hear, “Please…I want to come, Marcus.” The door is half open and I see James on top of someone. Her arms are wrapped around his waist and he is shirtless. The woman under him is naked I realise. Who has amazing breasts by the way. I already took a step in and my stupid anklet made a noise.

I love the sound of my anklets, it relaxes me, that’s why I wear them. But right now, I hate that I am being noticed because of them. It is like my personal notification for others.

“Shit, I’m sorry.” I immediately bang the door closed. They noticed me! Why couldn’t they lock the door?

I hear footsteps fast behind me, someone running up the stairs. “Don’t go in th–” a panting Siddharth stops in front of me. I am too shocked right now to process anything.

“I–Um…I–” What do I say? He obviously knew what was happening up here and that’s why he ran upstairs to stop me. I thought that I was feeling out of place a minute ago? Never in my life have I ever felt this embarrassed in my life. “I’m going to go downstairs.”

I press my lips together and slowly walk downstairs, Siddharth behind me. I don’t know why my heart feels heavy right now. I mean, I knew he was a fuckboy from the get go, but I feel disappointed.

Maybe I was a little charmed by his Raven and Sweetheart and Baby . Fuck! This is the number one reason why I don’t do relationships. Although, I know this wasn’t a relationship, but James used to make my heart flutter. I thought we had something. I guess that something is in someone right now!

I need to be alone with my emotions right now! There’s too much that I need to process. “Sorry guys, I think I should head back. I just remembered that I have a bakery class.” Bakery class? That’s the best excuse I could come up with? Shame on me!

“What are you baking?” Mike asks me.

“Lies.”

“What?” everyone says in unison.

“Pies. I mean pies. Apple pies. Pies.” The embarrassment…it’s too much! “I’m gonna go.” I point to the door and start heading outside. I look at Siddharth’s face and he knows exactly why I’m leaving. He probably saw the shock and disappointment on my face when I walked in on James making a woman scream his name.

“Did you give James what you brought?” Marina asks me in an accusatory tone. Does she think I was here to give him a blowjob? Because guess what Marina, he’s probably getting one of those right now.

“No, I don’t think he has time for it right now. He seemed very busy.” And just as if it was timed, I hear running footsteps down the stairs. I don’t want to talk to him right now. I don’t want to listen to anything. I just want to go to my bakery class.

Girl, you don’t actually have a bakery class! You can’t bake to save your life!

“Bye guys.” I’m literally speed-running-walking to the door and I am out in the blink of an eye.

“Riya…Riya…wait. Riya.” I keep hearing, but my feet don’t stop. I hear the front door close behind me. “Raven, please!” And I stop. Don’t fall for his act. Don’t fall for his act.

“Whatever you just saw right now…” Fuck! Why isn’t he wearing a shirt? He’s just wearing sweatpants and I can see that he’s still hard. Did he not come in the brunette before? Why am I even thinking about it? Gross!

Perhaps it was all one-sided. All of it. “You don’t have to explain anything to me, James. Since when do we owe explanations to each other? It’s fine. I’m just late to my bakery class. I better get going.” I reach my bag for the car keys and he spots the Derek Vanderwals jersey.

“Can we go inside and talk?” His voice mellows down.

It is my fault for not calling him, although I did text him. Stupid Riya. “I don’t want to humiliate myself anymore, James. I’m sorry, I should’ve called before coming over. I just told Daniel since I– Nevermind. It’s my fault. I’m sorry. Now, I better get going. The bakery class starts in fifteen minutes.” Actually, no! It is not my fault. Just because I am busy and I don’t reply to your texts continuously, he goes and fucks someone else? Was that all he wanted from me? To sleep with me? To fuck me?

He pulls out his phone and checks the time.

“So the bakery class starts at 12:38?”

“Yes. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

“Five minutes. Just give me five minutes. We can talk in your car if you want.”

God he’s doing that thing with his eyes again. The cute puppy dog eyes. “Okay fine.”

Fine, I’ll admit it! I am a sucker for those deep ocean blue eyes of his. And if someone can make my heart melt with those puppy dog eyes, it’s James.