Page 25

“It’s fine, I got it baby.” I planted a peck on James’ lips and threw a punch at the man who just slapped me wide across my cheek. I heard ringing in my ears for a split second as his hand made contact with my cheek. It was so sudden and uncalculated that it caught me off guard and made me lose my balance on contact.

I hate violence, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t account for it when needed. And it was needed here. I needed to stand up for myself.

Let’s rewind to half an hour ago. Me, the boys and James had gorged on 3 buckets of ‘sultry wings’. It’s their menu! I will never understand it and the reason for all the naming. Like, why do the mozzarella sticks have to be named ‘spread your sticks’ and the poutine fries called ‘cum on my fries’. I mean, I agree it is smart. But it’s just too dirty. I was on my second beer and the boys decided to participate in a game trivia that was going on in the bar. The crowd was a good mix of college students and middle aged men.

“Cricket!” I got up from my seat and shouted the answer and the entire bar stared at me. I heard a mix of sighs and groans from our table.

“The correct answer is baseball.” someone else in the crowd shouted.

I get up from my chair and shout. “Bat and ball! You use it in cricket. Baseball is merely a third if not fourth copy of cricket. Forgive me for thinking that originality of the game mattered in the answer.” My answer gained me a couple more gasps. There were a ton of Red Sox fans in there and I got myself some very nasty looks from them.

“Marcus. Zip her mouth shut. She won’t only make us lose this game but get us permanently banned from this bar.” George glared at me.

I went on. “Cricket is a hundred times better than Baseball. And nothing in this world can make me believe otherwise.” Sid and Dan smacked their foreheads as I angered a couple more drunk gentlemen around us.

We absolutely did not win the trivia and the boys blamed me for their loss. “You guys are athletes, how should I know more about sports? It’s your lack of knowledge that cost us the win today.” I avoided any eye contact and chugged on an empty beer bottle. James laughed next to me. It was great seeing that smile back on his face. I didn’t know what I’d do to see that smile again.

“I think it’s time for us to call it a night.” James didn’t drink because he insisted on being the sober police and escorting us back home. The boys were wasted! Completely. “I’ll go settle the tab.” He went to pay the bill while I gathered my belongings and got out of my chair.

I saw a man in his early to mid thirties standing right behind me. I moved to excuse him, but he just stood there and glared at me before he uttered the words- “Go back to your country, you fucking cunt.” Now I would lie if I haven’t imagined going through such a scenario before. I’ve imagined being discriminated against because of my colour at least a thousand times. So you bet I had the perfect reply ready.

“Alright. But I fly first class only. Unless you are willing to pay for a chartered flight. First class should do it.” I adjust my bag. And George, Dan and Sid are standing right in front of me, in a split second. Like a herd of lions protecting their ones.

“What?” The man asks as he tries to push the guys away, but they don't budge. I don’t budge either. I keep on a brave face and pat their back to let them know that I got it.

“ You want me to ‘go back where I came from’ right?” I use air quotes. I walk ahead until I stand right in front of him. “Then it’s better that you pay for it as well. I’ll have someone send over my required details for you to book the flight. Man, my parents will be surprised to see me. And don’t forget, First class only. God knows that my back can’t handle economy flights.” Another step. “You see, I never even walked through those aisles before. But I just know that Economy is just not for me! Son of a bitch.” I say with a smile. I meant every word of it, none of that was a lie. I’ve never flown Economy and I don’t intend to either. Call me a spoiled brat, because I am! And I am a proud spoiled brat.

Because whenever I can, I do help out the people I can. Charities, donations, I’ve done it all, not just donating money, but also my time. I love volunteering at the local orphanage whenever I can.

James just reappears behind that man and before I can say or do anything, that man slaps me! “That should teach you some fucking manners!” I’d be lying if I say that it doesn’t hurt. I can taste metal in my mouth. Which I’m guessing is my own blood. I swallow it and before I can think or do anything, my instinct is to stop James. He is an athlete wanting to go pro and can’t afford to have any assault charges on his record. Me on the other hand. I don’t take disrespect from anyone.

“James…Wait.” I stop James, who has already swung his fist in the man’s direction. But stops just before impact.

“It’s fine, I got it baby.” I plant a peck on his lips and form my right hand into a fist. Focusing all my energy into my arm, I swing my hand with all my weight at him and throw the mightiest punch ever. People who say that violence is disturbing are so fucking wrong. There is nothing more peaceful than violence.

“Man down!” George yells as the man I just punched falls to the ground. Not knocked out, but down with pain. The entire bar erupts with loud cheers and I cannot stop laughing. James, on the other hand, rushes next to me and holds my hand to examine. My knuckles are a little red and there are tiny spots of blood on them, but I feel exhilarated.

Siddharth keeps the man down on the floor as he tries to attack me again.“You wouldn’t dare.” The owner rushes towards me and starts apologising.

I mean, I hit him too. So, I guess, it’s alright. I won’t press any charges. I take another look at the racist bastard before walking away with charisma away from the SCUM.

My bravado lasts merely three seconds after I get outside and I wince in pain, holding my knuckles.

“Wait here.” James tucks the coat on me and tries to walk past me before I hold his hand to stop him.

“I need you. To be with me. Please James.” I hug him from behind and he stops in his tracks. No matter how much I’d like to deny it, I am shaken to my core. And if it wasn’t for James turning around to hold me in his arms right now, I’d crumble and fall to the ground, shattered in pieces. He just embraces me. His warmth engulfs my pain and insecurities.

I’d faced racial discrimination before. Mild. Yes. But this was very extreme. Just because I have more melanin and am at less a risk for skin cancer is no excuse to treat me any different.

James slowly pats my back and consoles me as I hear soft gasps. It is too late for me to control the tears that are streaming down my cheeks. “Shhh…You’re alright. I got you. I got you.” The only thing I hate the most in this world is crying in front of anyone. I’d rather cry alone until all the fluid and my blood runs dry than shed a single tear in front of anyone. But here I am again, crying in public in James’s arms. “You are the bravest person I know, Riya. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” He caresses my head and his words make me feel consolidated.

“Can you take me to your place? Please?” I manage to speak between my sobs.

The drive home is a quiet one indeed. The boys don't even make those loud annoying loud breathing noises that I hate.

“You have to teach me how to throw a punch, Riya.” Dan tries to lighten the mood as we walk into their house.

“Sure. It’ll be $300 per hour.”

“Done.”

“Okay…” I was joking. But he wasn’t. “Next Saturday. I’ll teach you.”

“I’ll see you then.” They all disperse into their rooms, leaving me and James in solitude.

He doesn’t say anything. In a span of less than five hours we’d both cried in front of each other and embraced each other. “James I…”

“Yeah. You should get some rest. You can head to my room. I'll bring some ice for your cheek.” He walks towards the kitchen. I was going to say I love you. I don’t know why, but I feel that I need to tell him now more than ever.

I head upstairs and sink in his bed. James returns within the next two minutes with an ice pack. He places it gently on my cheek. “Does it hurt too much?”

“Just a little.” I lie. I am scared that I’ve broken my jaw. But the ice pack definitely helps. The swelling and pain has subsided considerably. “James…This morning…What’d happened?” I just cannot stop myself from knowing who caused him pain.

His gaze stays on my jaw, as he takes a deep breath, fighting his inner demons. It is as if he is contemplating his entire life choices. I stay quiet. It is too late to back out from what I’d asked him.

Another deep breath and he starts talking. “I had gone home. Got into an argument with my father. Well, not an argument. But he found out that I knew everything. He didn’t know before that I knew everything- about his affair all those years ago. And everything went cascading down from then on. I got angry and I…I accidentally stepped on my phone and that’s why I couldn’t call you back or reply to your messages. I’m sorry.” The look on his face is defeated and I hate it more than anything. I hold his face in my hands until his deep ocean blue eyes pierce mine.

I press my lips onto his. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Do you hear me? You didn’t do anything wrong, James.” I press my lips onto his again. “I…” say it. Say it.

“I love you.” I finally say it and his eyes deepen further. The air between us thickens. And he goes silent. “You don’t have to say it back…I just thought that you should know. You are loved. By me. Immensely. You deserve all the love there is in the world, James. Mine is just like a small pebble in the ocean.”

“Enough to send unstoppable ripples through my heart. Because I fucking love you too, Riya.” I think now would be a good time to stop the time forever. I want to be in this moment forever.

Knowing that I am loved by someone who I love and respect is the best feeling ever. If I wanted to expose my bare self to anyone, it’d be James. If I wanted to give someone the power to hurt me the most, it’d be James. If I wanted to give someone the power to make me the happiest, it’d be James. I want him to be my everyday.

“Riya…” The way my name rolls off his tongue sends shivers down my spine. “I don’t want to hold back tonight.”

“I don’t want you to.” That’s all it takes for the fire within to consume us until we are nothing but perished to ashes.

“I want to go all the way, Raven.” his raspy breathing turns me on even more and I can feel his words pool in my panties.

I look into his eyes with a smile.

“ I trust you with my heart, body and soul, James. ”