Page 46 of Incubus (The Incubus Saga #1)

The dark laughter continued, growing louder, raking Nathan’s ears as it bounced off the walls of the car that suddenly no longer existed. There were no walls. There was no car. Everything around Nathan was black and empty. Only Sasha was whole. Only Sasha was real and solid beside him. Only Sasha.

And Jim .

Nathan turned to look where the backseat had been at the form of his brother, the source of that horrible laugh, and saw Jim grinning cruelly in the darkness.

That darkness seemed to emanate from him, to originate from some greater darkness inside of Jim.

His eyes were dark and slit, his mouth open as he laughed again.

“Jim…”

“You know you can’t escape it, Nathan,” said a voice, close beside Nathan but not from Sasha and not from Jim.

The voice was familiar, but Nathan didn't recognize it for what it was until he turned to look in front of him and met another pair of slit eyes.

Green slit eyes. And his own smirking face.

Nathan was standing suddenly in a large expanse of black, and with him was Sasha, Jim, and another version of him .

“Face it, Nathan,” said Nathan’s lips with Nathan’s voice, and those green slit eyes. “You don’t deserve this. You don’t deserve anything. Everything you are, everything you’ve ever wanted, everything , belongs to me now.”

"I don't understand."

The other Nathan took hold of Sasha, viciously strong, and started dragging him away into the darkness. Nathan tried to reach out and pull Sasha back, but Jim was there to take Sasha’s place, holding Nathan against an invisible surface and pinning him in place.

“It's too late, Nathan,” Jim said, slit blue eyes glittering and slightly larger body heavy against him. “This is what's going to happen. When you're taken by the dark fae, you'll be theirs forever. Like me. But don't you worry, I'll be there too. And Sasha. We'll always be together, I promise.”

“No, you’re not Jim,” Nathan snarled, hating those eyes as much as he had ever hated them in the face of dark fae. “You’re not even real. This is just a dream. I know it’s a dream.”

Jim’s mouth twisted further into a half-mad grin. “No, Nathan. This isn’t a dream. Deep down, I think you know that. You know…that this is the reality that waits for you. And you…” Jim’s body seemed to press into Nathan even more, forcing the air out of his lungs. “You’re going to lose everything.”

The constriction in Nathan's chest felt like being squeezed and pulled apart at the same time, with all of that surrounding darkness starting to fill him.

Nathan recognized the feeling from so many times passing through the Veil.

He was being pulled to the other side, and not through any doorway but through the very wall of the Veil itself.

The slit-eyed figure of Jim against him was laughing, holding him immobile and laughing .

Nathan could see flashes of brilliant color and beautiful scenery that he had heard about of the more lush places in the Veil, but had never seen.

There were flashes of the fae markets, all metal and exhaust. Caves tunneling to underground cities.

Endless trees dividing light from darkness, leading deeper and deeper into the black.

And, at the heart of it all, a tower, a castle, and a flash of slit eyes, only they weren't blue or green, they were red on black.

"Nathan!"

The steering wheel was in Nathan's hands. The black had vanished, that awful emptiness of the Veil pulling him in gone. Nathan was awake, back in the car and safe.

"Nathan?" Walter repeated anxiously.

Nathan turned his head just slightly to see Sasha asleep against the passenger side door.

He couldn't remember how much of the dream had been real and what was just nightmare.

He was pretty sure that most of the make-out session had been real, but he wasn't sure where reality stopped, and that made him shudder.

"I'm fine, Walter," Nathan said, looking up at the rearview mirror to see Walter in his usual place in the backseat. Nathan wasn't fine though, and the sight of Walter there instead of Jim , no Jim at all, had Nathan suddenly panicking.

He opened the door and climbed out of the car without saying another word to Walter.

It was almost dawn and Jim had disappeared.

Only when Nathan looked around, he saw to his great relief that Jim had not gone far.

Nathan spotted Jim's turned back a block in the direction away from the doorway at the top of an open walkway looking out onto the streets below.

By the time Nathan walked across the empty sidewalks to reach Jim, he had almost calmed himself enough to keep the tremble out of his voice.

"You know I'd never forgive you if you jumped," Nathan said, attempting to sound nonchalant, though he doubted he pulled it off well.

Jim didn't turn, not even when Nathan came up to lean against the railing beside him. They were facing the slowly rising sun, painting the sky in hues of pink.

"Jim?"

"Do you know what I always remember most about Alex?"

Nathan faltered, surprised that Jim would bring up Alex on his own. "Uh...no. What do you remember?"

"I remember that she was the only one who was ever excited that I was a changeling. She wasn't scared, or wary, or just tolerant like everybody else, she thought it was...cool. She thought that one day I could use my powers to be...some kind of superhero." Jim smiled, but Nathan caught a glimmer of a tear streak down his cheek. “I don’t want them to take you, Nathan. I don’t want them to have claim over any of us. But lately I’ve been wondering…even with my powers…if I’ll be able to save you at all. ”

“Jim," Nathan said, touching a hand to his brother's arm. "You have to stop thinking like that. I knew what I was getting myself into. I'm just doing my job here, looking out for my brother. That's as much as I expect from you either, not miracles.”

Jim wiped at his eyes, nodding like he understood what Nathan meant, but his expression said he didn't. "Right, no miracles.

I just feel like...we're due , you know?

But I should have known better. Why do you think Mom gave you Dad's ring instead of me?

Because she knew you'd be the one to carry on.

You have to carry on, Nate. You have to make the hard decisions. I can't. I can't... do this ."

Nathan felt his body jerk forward, instinctually wanting to pull his brother in for an embrace, but he didn't. He needed Jim to be strong.

"I have faith in you, Jim. So did Mom. She only gave me the ring because I was standing closer to her, not because she thought you weren't worthy.

You're not going to Awaken. And...even if you do, you're stronger than whatever it will do to you. I believe that. I know it."

Another shimmer of light streaked down Jim's face but, when he turned to Nathan, his eyes were clear. "Really?"

"We can do this, Jim," Nathan assured him. "I'm not gone yet, and you're still you."

"I guess that's true. And...there's Sasha."

"Sure," Nathan nodded, "there's Sasha. He's a good guy. I'm glad he's with us."

"Yeah...I can tell. That's why..." Jim sniffed back the last of his tears and smiled, "I’m thinking I deserve some kind of brotherly sainthood for this past week.”

Nathan stared at his brother, not understanding. “What for?"

“You know. For not bringing it up yet.”

A chill shot down Nathan's spine.

It .

“Of course I was hoping you’d talk to me yourself,” Jim went on, standing very close beside Nathan so that their arms were touching, giving Nathan barely any room to squirm. “Guess I should have known better, huh?”

“Jim…”

“You didn’t really think I hadn’t noticed, did you?”

“Noticed…what?”

Although Nathan stared down at the railing instead of looking at Jim, he knew what expression his brother was wearing, that ‘really, Nathan?’ look like Nathan must be out of his mind for trying to swindle Jim when the jig was clearly up.

“Come on, Nate, you two haven't exactly been covert.”

Sure we were , Nathan thought, he had made certain of it. At least, he thought he had. But Sasha kept him so distracted.

Shit .

“It's okay, Nate,” Jim said with traces of humor in his voice that, under normal circumstances, would have been a comfort. “I’m only grossed out on principle, because you’re my brother and he’s our friend.

As long as this isn’t, you know, you sewing some really strange wild oats before you die or something. ”

“Hey!” Nathan said, pushing Jim away from him.

Jim raised his hands in defense, still smiling.

“I know that’s not it, I’m just saying. I thought I was going crazy back at the Gatehouse when Alex and I came in and you were on Sasha’s bed.

That's why I thought you were leading him on. But you can only tell yourself ‘I’m probably imagining it’ for so long. ”

“Shut up,” Nathan said, miserable for a different reason now as he hid his face in his hands and leaned over the railing.

Jim laughed, honestly laughed, and it wasn’t cruel or haunting like it had been in Nathan’s dream.

“Okay, I’m sorry. I know nothing. Just an oblivious bystander until you’re ready to look me in the eyes again.

I don’t…I don’t really know what I think.

How I feel about it. I just know it doesn’t…

bother me. That’s saying something, isn’t it?

” Jim’s voice was tender, and Nathan didn’t feel quite like running for the hills in embarrassment.

He peeked out of his hands and saw how benign Jim’s expression was, just there, present and there for him without any of those overpowering emotions making it hard for Nathan to meet his brother’s gaze. “Yeah,” Nathan said. “But...can you maybe—”

“Never bring it up again?”

“Just for a little while.”

“Because you’re freaking out and probably have been freaking out since whatever’s not happening started.”

Nathan swallowed.

“But I guess it makes sense."

"What does?" Nathan questioned.

"You and Sasha," Jim said. "After all, you did call dibs."

The comment was almost an invitation for Nathan to hook his brother in a headlock.

So he did. Easily. Nathan often wondered even before Jim's powers started manifesting if Jim allowed him to win their playful battles.

Surely, Jim could escape Nathan's hold. He was stronger.

He was many things Nathan wasn't. But he let Nathan pull him forward and mess his hair like they were little boys again.

Whatever remaining tension might have hung in the air, it was gone by the time Nathan let his brother go.

"You think you're real funny, don't you, Jesse James," Nathan said.

Jim formed a gun with his fingers instantly and cocked it Nathan's direction.

Nathan did the same.

BANG.

The sun had risen fully and was spilling its light over both of them, making the blue of Jim's dark eyes sparkle.

Nathan could never think of Jim turning against him or turning into something evil when his brother looked at him with all the compassion and desperate affection that could possibly exist between brothers. Jim was just Jim .

"You know what we need?" Nathan said. "A night out, just to forget for a while and relax, away from all this mess. Plus...I could use your help with something."

"Oh?"

"I need to get into our Veil Slip."

“What for?” Jim asked with a furrowed brow.

“There's something I want to pick up.”

“What?”

Nathan smirked, glancing back at the car where he could see Sasha still peacefully sleeping. “You’ll see.”