Page 30 of Incubus (The Incubus Saga #1)

Even without Sasha around it was difficult for Nathan to focus.

Images of the redhead kept invading Nathan’s thoughts.

At first, Nathan considered taking a nap to sleep the pheromones off but, as soon as his eyes closed, images of Sasha rushed up around him more vivid than ever, constant and decidedly graphic .

Nathan tried resting with his eyes open, but Sasha appeared then too, like a mirage—on the other bed, watching him and laid out just as Nathan was, as if on display.

Nathan could hear Sasha’s voice, picture the intricacies of his tattoos perfectly, and smell that wonderful Sasha scent as if the incubus were truly there.

When Nathan’s hand started drifting for the clasp of his jeans, he knew he needed to find other means of distraction. And quickly.

Scrambling for the remote, Nathan tried flipping through cable channels, still kicked back on the bed, but switched the program he was watching at random to keep his brain alert and away from thoughts of Sasha.

Walter appeared, sitting on the edge of the bed, but Nathan told him to go away.

“You can’t help, and no, I don’t want to talk about it,” Nathan said, perhaps a little sharper than Walter deserved, but Nathan was not in his right mind, which was exactly the problem.

Jim returned to the room some time later without Sasha, which should have been a relief, and yet Nathan felt a pang in his chest at the incubus’ absence.

Sitting at the table, Jim started reading through the book Nathan had used to summon the Messenger.

Every so often he would look over at Nathan and ask if everything was okay.

Nathan replied each time without moving his eyes from the television. “I’m fine. Quit nagging.”

Jim was accommodating at first, but his prodding of Nathan’s well-being grew more frequent as the day passed. It was getting dark outside when Jim finally abandoned his reading and went to sit next to Nathan on the bed. “Okay, Nate, what’s going on?”

“What do you mean, what’s going on?” Nathan said. He was sick of pretending he was actually watching anything and flicked the TV off. “Pheromones, dude. Case closed. What else is there to figure out?”

“Well…I just get the feeling there’s something else bothering you.”

“Like what?”

“I’m not an idiot, Nate. I know Sasha isn’t just flirting with you for fun. He likes you. I can’t even begin to guess how much that has you freaked already, even without the pheromones, and on top of him being an incubus and a seal.”

“Hey,” Nathan cut in, “I don’t have any problems with Sasha being what he is, okay?

He proved himself way before what happened this morning.

It wasn’t even his fault. And the seal thing…

he has to be the only one in the world who does the job because he wants to help people instead of just looking for an excuse to kill things.

I mean, trying to compare him to Gabriel is almost laughable. ”

Jim cringed, immediately making Nathan regret saying anything. 'Gabriel' was practically a four-letter word to them. Even when Nathan told Sasha about him, he had avoided actually saying the name.

“Yeah…Sasha’s nothing like him,” Jim said softly. “He sort of has his heart on his sleeve, doesn’t he? Or maybe that’s just pheromones,” he added with a quick smirk.

“You’re hilarious,” Nathan dead-panned and bucked Jim with his shoulder.

“I was actually a little worried at first,” Jim said. “Sasha’s pheromones should only work on you if you have feelings for him too.”

Nathan stiffened.

“Of course then I realized it had to be because they were so concentrated with the whole frenzy thing. Hell, they probably would have worked on me just as well with Desire’s power behind them.”

“Haha…yeah…” Nathan chuckled shakily.

Jim gave a playful shove at Nathan's shoulder to prove he was joking, but Nathan was off in his own thoughts. He hadn’t considered the implications of the pheromones working on him.

Sasha had said that incubus pheromones didn't work on just anybody; there had to be a spark of actual attraction first. But, for Nathan, it had to be because they were so concentrated, like Jim had said.

It had to be because of that. Because of Desire, not. .. desire .

“Hey, Jim, I think I’m going to go stretch my legs for a bit,” Nathan said. “I’ll be back in a few minutes, okay? I just need some air.” Nathan got up from the bed, thankful that Jim didn’t try to stop him.

Outside the air was cooler than the night before but Nathan welcomed the briskness even without a jacket on. He leaned back against the trunk of the car they had had since Pittsburgh and stared out at the night.

“Nathan,” Walter said, suddenly beside him. “Please, you really need to—”

“Don’t worry, Walt,” Nathan dismissed him.

“I’m going back in to hit the hay early.

I just needed a minute to myself. I’m fine.

Really.” Pushing from the hood of the car, Nathan headed back into the hotel, longing for tomorrow when the pheromones would wear off and everything could go back to normal.

Nathan reached the door to his and Jim’s room and scavenged his pockets for the key.

They had also exchanged keys with Sasha in case they needed to get into each other’s rooms. Jim had told Nathan to keep their room key separate from Sasha’s, but he hadn’t really listened.

Eventually, the key he tried did the trick.

“Nathan,” Walter said.

“Quit badgering me, Walt. I’m tired.”

“But…”

The shower was running as Nathan crossed the threshold with no Jim in sight.

Nathan would have wanted a shower too if he could stand one.

He had somewhat wiped himself down while cleaning out his claw wounds that morning, but a shower would have been too painful.

Just imagining water striking the gashes on his chest with even the mildest pressure made Nathan grimace, and he touched a hand to where the deepest of them lay beneath his shirt.

The worst part was how much they itched as they healed, so much worse than it had been with the Messenger’s mark. Nathan had the urge to run his nails over every inch of his chest, much as he knew that would not feel anything like relief.

Sitting down on the bed, Nathan waited for his brother to finish up in the bathroom. He needed to change his bandages and clean the wounds again before he called it a night, so he was pleased when he heard the shower turn off.

“You better not have used up all the hot water!” Nathan called.

The usual reply from Jim did not come, only a confused, “Nathan?” as the bathroom door pushed open.

Nathan was suddenly staring at a naked Sasha in nothing but a towel. A naked incubus Sasha, with his longer hair still damp against his skin and his eyes glowing red into the otherwise dark room.

Nathan’s subconscious hated him. Looking around, he realized he should have noticed the lack of a second bed, but therein laid the genius of the pheromones’ deception. He hadn’t.

“Sorry!” Nathan jumped to his feet.

Sasha was in his incubus form. The form that had tried molesting Nathan earlier that day. He should not find it hot.

“I thought…Jim…and I went out for air, but…the key worked. I didn’t think…I…sorry. Really sorry,” Nathan rambled, and made a break for the door. If he could just get out of the room everything would be okay.

He was two seconds from grabbing the doorknob when Sasha’s rougher incubus voice called after him.

“Nathan, wait! You don’t have to go. I’d actually prefer you never felt the need to run away from me, if it’s all the same.

” There was a touch of that sadness, of that all too familiar regret in Sasha’s voice as he spoke.

Nathan could do nothing against the compulsion to turn around.

Sasha had tossed aside his towel, clothed only in the tattoos and that below the waist covering. Nathan knew he should not be so turned on by a gargoyle that fed on sex. Sasha had horns. Sasha had claws. Sasha had… really awesome wings .

Nathan needed to leave the room now to avoid any further embarrassment, but then he started wondering whether or not the feel of Sasha’s skin would change if he ran a hand from that pure white to the gradual fade into black on his hands, feet, and wings.

Nathan was walking back toward Sasha before he could stop himself.

“You don’t have anything to apologize for, Nathan,” Sasha said, standing there seemingly oblivious to how much Nathan’s eyes were devouring him.

“I’m the one who messed everything up, even if you don’t want me to say that.

After this morning…” He glanced down at himself and his eyes went wide, as if he hadn’t realized until just then that he was in his true form.

“Like what you need right now is to see me like this. Let me grab something to wear so I can change back.” He made to move across the room.

Some unstoppable force had Nathan reaching out to stop the incubus, and he touched Sasha’s bicep right where the white started to fade darker toward his hand.

“Don’t,” Nathan said, and then knew he had to elaborate when Sasha turned worried red eyes on him.

“I mean…you don’t have to change. I don’t mind when you’re like this.

I’d be a pretty crappy friend if I did, especially after this morning. ”

Sasha looked shocked to hear Nathan say that, but he was soon smiling brilliantly, enough to light up his entire face. Nathan had never seen Sasha’s eyes look more beautiful, sparkling at him so bright and red .

“Do you always take a shower like that?” Nathan asked, forcing his hand to drop from Sasha’s arm.

“No,” Sasha said with a light chuckle. “Sometimes I just like to feel the water on my wings. It doesn’t matter either way. Both forms are the real me. Both get clean if I shower.”

“Meaning this time you’re…actually naked instead of hiding clothes?”