Page 18 of Incubus (The Incubus Saga #1)

The first round of drinks reached their table with little conversation having passed between them.

They had returned to McCoy's, the bar Sasha had taken them to when they first met. Nathan had suggested hitting the bar partly in celebration for having finished the hunt, but also to get Sasha’s mind off of the fact that the succubus had been his aunt.

“Sasha? Are you really okay with what happened back there?" Jim asked. He and Sasha were on one side of the booth while Nathan occupied the other alone. “I mean…she was family. That can’t be easy.”

Nathan took a long drink, glowering at his brother over the top of his beer.

“I’m…okay,” Sasha said, offering a small smile—one Nathan didn’t believe.

“Sabine was never that big a part of my life. Not like Shiarra. I hate to think Shi might have known about this. My kind don’t kill.

It goes against everything we believe in.

But when one of us does, everyone kind of just…

looks the other way. No one wants to have to stop them. ”

“Being a seal can’t make you too popular with your fellow sex vampires then,” Nathan said.

“No. Popular I’m not,” Sasha said. “Let’s just say…I’m welcome in my aunt’s home. And that’s about it.” A shadow crossed Sasha’s face as he spoke.

Nathan was starting to recognize that something of that sadness must be in Sasha all the time.

"So…I think I have a lead for us to follow as far as figuring out who owns Nathan’s mark,” Sasha went on.

“We’re shorter on time because of me, because you were willing to wait and help me on this case.

I’m grateful for that, but we shouldn’t waste another day.

We need to question dark fae to find out who that Messenger of yours worked for.

Since we can't do that safely in the Veil, we’re going to have to find a few here in the world. "

" Find ? How are we supposed to find dark fae?" Nathan asked. "Usually, we're trying to avoid them."

"That's why you have a seal on your side, remember? I already had word of some possible fae activity in Nebraska. I was planning on heading there after this hunt was over. I'm not exactly sure what we'll be dealing with, but it's definitely a dark fae."

“Thank you, Sasha,” Jim said earnestly. “I don’t know how we’ll ever be able to repay you for this.”

“Repay me?" Sasha laughed. "I haven’t done anything yet.”

Even though they had spent the last few days helping Sasha, Nathan never could get his mind around the idea of getting anything for free. They couldn’t pay Sasha. He didn’t seem the type to care much about money or possessions anyway, but he was still willing to put his life at risk for them.

For Nathan.

"We'll think of something," Nathan promised.

"Oh?" Sasha said with a quick smirk. "And, uhh...what would you have in mind?"

Nathan’s initial reaction was to grin. Even Sasha’s sultry, flirty tone of voice was an improvement over a depressed one. But then...Sasha moving his foot up and down Nathan’s shin was a new development.

The table gave a loud smack as Nathan jerked his knee up into the bottom of it. He couldn’t help reacting that way. It was reflex.

“Nathan,” Jim said. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing. Just a…a cramp.”

“Right.”

Nathan scrutinized Sasha across the table, met by that familiar, blinding smile. “I’m…going to get another round,” he said, and rose to leave the booth.

“Another?” Jim said. “But, Nate, we just got this one.”

“I know. I think we’re going to need some shots.”

Nathan escaped to the bar feeling flushed throughout his entire body. He wanted to brush the whole thing off, chalk it up to Sasha just being like that, maybe not being able to help his flirtatious nature, but that deliberate brush of Nathan’s leg had been anything but subtle.

“Nathan.”

The sudden sound of Walter’s voice made Nathan flinch, and he bumped into the man standing beside him at the bar. He shrugged weakly in apology before turning to look at Walter with wide, questioning eyes.

"We should talk," Walter said. "Privately."

The only private place in a bar was the bathroom, which seemed like such an insult to injury after the last time they had a bathroom conversation.

But Nathan gave a small nod, called to the bartender for some tequila shots to be delivered to their table, and headed for the men's room. Thankfully, it was empty.

"What do you want, Walt?" Nathan hissed. He knew that if he started being loud someone would inevitably come in and think he was either drunk or crazy. "We finished the case without much help from you, if you weren't paying attention. I've even made friends with Sasha like you wanted. We're good."

The mirror behind Walter showed no reflection of him as he leaned against the sink. "Yes, I've...noticed you and Sasha," he said.

Nathan hated how visible his own reactions were in the mirror behind Walter’s back. "Meaning what, exactly? So Sasha has a thing for me. Big deal. I'm not looking to complicate things, Walt. He's a guy ."

"He is also an incubus. He can read emotions, Nathan. He can feel what other people are feeling. That's how an incubus knows who to target when they feed. Your attraction to him—"

“I’m not attracted to him!” Nathan spat, a little louder than he intended. “He's just messing with my head.”

“Regardless,” Walter went on, “while I am glad you spared him, because he is a good man and I do believe he might be able to help save you from the fate you have chosen, there are still complications ahead. The path you choose now—”

“You know what,” Nathan broke in again, “why don’t you just tell me which path to choose so we can stop having this conversation. Why does it even matter what path I’m on, huh? I’m just me. Just Nathan. Nobody special. You act like my life is so damn important.”

“Of course your life is important,” Walter said.

“Every life is. There are too many lines of probability to know which path is right, Nathan. It isn’t about one right answer, only easier and more difficult ways to reach one of several possible ends.

I simply want you safe, on as right a path as is possible. I want you—”

"What? Boring and obedient?" Nathan grumbled.

" Happy ."

Nathan could only stare back at Walter. His Spirit Guide’s warm brown eyes glowed surreally. Just like Sasha's blue ones.

"Whatever happiness you choose, I will be here,” Walter said. “I only wish for you to understand that few paths ahead of you will be easy. I can only help you so much on this journey, but when you need me, Nathan…all you have to do is call for me."

Nathan felt remarkably alone when Walter faded away, no longer visibly leaning against the sink so that all Nathan could see was himself reflected back.

Walter was there. Walter was always there. Nathan could call him back right that moment if he wanted. He used to call for Walter all the time when he was younger, those first few years alone with Jim.

For several moments Nathan just stared in the mirror, unconsciously clutching at his shirt where his scar was hidden beneath the fabric.

When he finally left the bathroom, his mind wasn’t really focused on where he was going, until he slipped out the side exit into the cold.

The exit lead into an alleyway, complete with dumpster, various types of grime, and not a single other soul in sight.

Nathan enjoyed the seclusion, even if Walter was hovering somewhere nearby, and despite the chill in the air.

He leaned back against the wall beside the door and sighed out a thick puff of visible breath.

He was startled when the door opened only a few moments later.

"Nathan?" came Sasha's voice, filled with concern. The incubus appeared as the door closed, revealing Nathan beside the dumpster. Sasha's red brows furrowed. "I thought I saw you head out here. Is everything okay?"

As Sasha drew closer, Nathan felt suddenly suffocated by the close quarters of the alleyway. The smell of Sasha that had managed to remain unsoiled by the smell of alcohol wafted around him. "I'm...fine," Nathan said. "Just a lot on my mind."

"I can imagine." Sasha remained standing close in front of Nathan, his breath forming the same white puffs, though he didn't look nearly as susceptible to the cold without a jacket.

He smiled warmly. "I'd apologize for being so.

..well, like me , but you're difficult to read. I didn't mean to spook you back there."

Nathan shifted uncomfortably against the wall of the building.

"Listen...about that guy this morning—"

“Not my business,” Nathan said quickly. The last thing he wanted right now was an explanation, or, God forbid, an apology. “Assuming should be a cardinal sin. I shouldn’t have…yeah. So let’s just forget it, huh? Sleep with chicks, sleep with guys; it doesn't matter to me.”

Sasha frowned. “Nathan, it freaked you out. I’m not an idiot.

I think it bothered you more than our...

'moment' in the hallway, to be honest." He took a step closer to Nathan. "I appreciate how you and Jim have handled finding out what I am, I do. You’ve really been trying to accept me, even though I know it isn’t easy for you. But the truth is...you’re driving me crazy.”

“Me? You're the one who keeps... doing things," Nathan said, more than happy to fall into a confrontational tone. "Then when I find you with a guy this morning, it’s all business as usual.”

“Nathan, you know I didn't sleep with him because I wanted to—I had to. If I thought I had another option...” he trailed for a moment as his eyes swept over Nathan, "I would have gladly accepted it."

“ Dude .” Nathan held up his hands as if he could physically hold the conversation in place. “You're getting way ahead of yourself here.”

“I’m an incubus, Nathan," Sasha said plainly. "It isn’t possible for someone to be attracted to me and for me not to know about it. Especially when I’m spending most of my time with them.”