Page 39 of Incubus (The Incubus Saga #1)

Every corner they turned, following up on the dark fae leads Sasha had gathered from the Gatehouse, had Nathan certain Gabriel would suddenly show up, but they had seen no sign of him since that night.

Alex told them that he hadn't argued when she said he was no longer allowed to come back to the Gatehouse. He had simply left.

As the days passed, Walter pressed regularly for more details on what had happened inside the Gatehouse, but Nathan kept the part about him and Sasha to himself.

Their paranoia of Gabriel had them sharing a room with Sasha almost every night, meaning there was little opportunity for Nathan to be alone with the incubus.

This made it easier to pretend he had been suffering from temporary insanity that night in Sasha’s room when they had kissed, and maybe it was better to leave things be.

So far, their leads had led them to nothing but dead ends, leaving only one more lead on their current list regarding recent sightings of a golem in Georgia. The sightings had even started making it into the local news, but as warnings of a possible wild dog or wolf rather than a stone monster.

"Why does it have to be a golem?" Nathan said with distaste. They had stopped at a small bar along the route to their next doorway for something to eat.

"There isn't anything else on the radar," Jim said, "and we’re running out of time. I know your nightmares are getting worse, Nate. That's a bad sign. The longest anyone’s ever survived an unclaimed mark was—”

“A year . A whole year, Jim. We have plenty of time,” Nathan dismissed.

“I’ve heard of some who only lasted six weeks,” Sasha said.

Nathan shuddered, shrugging off the chill that crept up his shoulders.

He shot the incubus a glare, well aware that his ticking clock wasn’t a set timeframe, but although his dreams had been growing more intense, he didn’t feel any different than he had when he was first marked.

He assumed there would be some greater sign when the end was drawing near.

“Well there’s not much we can do about it, is there?” Nathan said. “Other than keep on moving, so that’s what we’re going to do. Even if it is a damn golem. There better be a dark fae pulling its strings or I will be sorely pissed off. I hate those things.”

“Right, well…I’m going to grab another drink,” Sasha said. He pushed away from the table and headed to the bar without another word.

Nathan stared after him. He had expected Sasha to question why Nathan was so uncomfortable about golems. It wasn’t a very interesting story; Nathan just never liked the idea of something that wasn’t really alive being able to move.

He attributed the same principle to possessed dolls and had never cared for the creepy porcelain kind either.

But Sasha didn't even seem interested.

“What’s his problem?” Nathan asked.

“Apparently you , if you haven’t been paying attention,” Jim said. “Did you two have some kind of fight? You know, other than you slugging him back in Rushville.”

“No,” Nathan said with a frown. “What makes you say that?”

The expression on Jim’s face was completely incredulous. “I can’t believe you haven’t noticed how pissed he’s been at you lately. Maybe if you actually looked Sasha in the eyes you would have seen some of the glares he’s been giving you. Is there something I’m missing here?”

The tension in Nathan’s shoulders tightened. “Don’t worry about it. Unless you’ve developed another power I don’t know about, you aren’t exactly a psychic here, Jim, so leave it alone. Besides, you wouldn’t look nearly as good in those leather boots Wade’s always wearing.”

Jim was too busy scowling at Nathan to find the comment amusing.

“Oh quit being a girl, Jim. I’m just teasing you.”

“Teasing me? Or teasing Sasha ?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Nathan snapped. He didn’t like the look Jim was giving him, a holier than thou expression he knew only too well.

“Nathan, you know Sasha has feelings for you. It's pretty obvious. If you’ve been doing something to lead him on—”

“Who’s leading who on?” Nathan shot back. “Mind your own business.”

“I don’t have to be psychic to know that Sasha is upset with you. I'm used to what that looks like.” With anger still tainting his tone and expression, Jim reached for his drink. It was still six inches away from his hand when the glass suddenly suctioned into Jim’s palm.

Nathan did his best not to stare, but Jim’s eyes were pained and focused intently on the drink that had moved seemingly on its own.

Small things like that had been happening more often ever since their run-in with Gabriel at the Gatehouse.

Nathan tried to ignore it, but he knew his brother was preoccupied with what it meant that his powers were occurring more frequently.

Strong emotion seemed to be the easiest trigger, and Jim wasn’t very good at remaining calm lately.

Slowly pushing the drink away from him, Jim looked back up at Nathan somberly. “Sasha might need to feed regularly from other people, Nathan, but just because he’s an incubus doesn’t mean his feelings for you aren’t real.”

Nathan knew that. He wasn’t trying to lead Sasha on at all. But if he came right out and said that, Jim would start asking questions Nathan was not prepared to answer.

Then Nathan thought about what Jim had just said, about Sasha feeding , and realized he couldn’t remember the last time Sasha had fed.

Sasha had said he needed to have sex at least once a month or things got scary.

The last person Nathan knew for certain Sasha had slept with was that college kid in Minnesota.

“There’s a relief at least,” Jim said, nodding toward the bar. “I was starting to worry Sasha might be pining over you so much he’d forgotten to feed for real. That wouldn’t have been good.”

Nathan turned sharply toward the bar, spotting Sasha easily by his too red hair. He was talking to an attractive older woman in a short skirt, who was leaning in close to Sasha like she was very interested in getting out of there, and not alone.

A twinge in Nathan's chest caught him by surprise. At the back of his mind he knew the right reaction should be relief. Sasha needed sex to survive. And it wasn’t as if Nathan was ready to offer himself.

Then, as Nathan continued to stare, Sasha’s attention shifted toward their table, almost as if he could sense Nathan's warring emotions from all the way across the room. Their gazes met. Maybe if Sasha had smiled, waved, anything else, Nathan could have forgotten the confusion stirring within him and just gone back to pretending they could be friends. But Sasha’s eyes flashed with that sadness, with regret he could do nothing about.

The twinge Nathan had been feeling grew into an ache, and he realized just how screwed he was.

The next morning Nathan was exhausted, having been unable to sleep, plagued by thoughts of where Sasha was and the woman he was with. Which was probably the only reason he was thinking of doing what he was about to do.

Keeping his voice as quiet as possible from where he was crouched in the corner of the bathroom, Nathan dialed the number and waited.

"Wow. You actually resorted to calling me ?" Wade said without so much as a 'hello'. "You must be desperate. Jealous he had to sleep with someone else last night?"

"I hate you so much," Nathan growled.

"Sure you do. So what do you want?"

"Like you even have to ask. You knew about all of this from the beginning, didn't you?"

"You mean about Sasha being a man? I had an inkling. Your crush seems to be a new development."

"Don't play dumb, Wade."

"I never play dumb, Nathan, only shrewd. Did you have something you actually wanted, or is this call just to annoy me? I didn't have to pick up the phone, you know."

"Don't hang up! Just...give me something I can use here. Please."

"You want relationship advice?"

Nathan could hear the smile in Wade's voice over the phone. "Not just Sasha . The whole thing! Sidhe have crossed over from the Veil unsummoned, in case you didn't know, and we're no closer to getting rid of my mark. The world is collapsing around us!"

"Don't be so melodramatic. You know my abilities don't work that way. I can't see everything; the future changes every time someone makes a decision. You're not getting any life-changing advice over the phone."

"Well, then, what am I supposed to do?"

Wade audibly sighed. "Same thing I told you before, sweetheart. You found the first person from your Devil card, so stick to him. How you stick to him is entirely up to you. Anything else you'll have to figure out for yourself."

Nathan grumbled, "What kind of psychic are you, anyway?"

"An honest one," Wade said. "So suck it up, Grier. You’ve got a long journey ahead of you. What I can tell you is that if you want Mr. Incubus for yourself, you better get your butt in gear. His patience can only stretch so far. Good luck."

"Wade, wait, I—!"

The other end of the line clicked and went silent as Wade hung up. Nathan was going to drunk-dial her the next chance he got even if she could see it coming.

The sound of Sasha’s voice on the other side of the door made Nathan’s entire body stiffen.

Nathan was supposed to be taking a shower, and he had left the water running to keep up the illusion while he called Wade.

Over the sound of the water, he could hear Sasha and Jim murmuring about something.

Quietly, Nathan pressed his ear to the door, but couldn’t make out what they were saying.

“Aren’t you being a bit childish, Nathan?”

Nathan jumped, relieved at least that he hadn’t squealed. He turned around to see Walter sitting on the toilet seat. “Shhh, I’m just…trying to work this out,” Nathan whispered.

“Work out…something intimate that happened between you and Sasha in the Gatehouse?”

Nathan cringed. “Do you have to say intimate ? We just kissed.”

Walter stared at Nathan steadily.

“I didn't tell you because…I didn’t want to hear you spout some advice at me one way or the other, okay?” Nathan said.

“Not about this. You keep saying I’m making things more complicated for myself, but what does that mean?

I don’t want to see him with someone else.

I hated that last night. But is this way off the mark?

Am I supposed to break things off? What am I supposed to do?

” He had been so worried about what Walter would say, but now the questions poured out of him.

Then, to Nathan’s surprise, Walter smiled, subtle and appeasing.

“Your path changes with every decision you make, Nathan. I’ve told you that many times.

Wade said the same. Bringing Jim back, allying yourself with Sasha, all of it complicates things.

Relationships always complicate things. You can still follow the right path even if the road is more difficult.

I only wish for you to understand that and be prepared. ”

“I don’t know if I’d call what’s going on with me and Sasha allying myself with him,” Nathan said with a small smirk.

“Be that as it may,” said Walter, “this is a decision you need to make on your own. And as Wade said, it may be one you need to make quickly. It sounds like Sasha has left.”

Nathan returned his attention to the door, listening carefully, but was no longer able to hear Sasha’s voice.

He turned off the tap to the shower, waiting a few moments to collect himself and think. Once Walter had faded again, still wearing that subtle smile, Nathan figured it was time to get out of the bathroom.