Page 114 of His Atonement

"Are you going to be ok, Zan?"

I squeeze my sister's hand, look upon my mate a little longer before I begin her final requests, then lead us back to the main house and answer my gem with the most honesty I have yet to use with her or anyone other than Frankie.

“Never."

Fix It For Me

The sectional is packed with bodies, everyone crammed onto the plush cushions, shoulder to shoulder. A tight fucking fit.

Karel. Kai and Posey.

Hank and Janet. Casey and Milos.

Henrich and Grace. Allie and Andrej.

Havok and Cora.

The young still asleep in their beds, baby monitors sitting on the coffee table.

Colt stands behind Havok and Andrej, acting as a barrier between me and them, one I hardly need since I'm pressed up against the wall as far away as I can be because I don't want to do this.

I do not want to show this to them, play one of the final videos my darling mate made a few short hours before she was gone from me.

I cannot bear it.

Cannot bear to see her gorgeous face, her breathtaking smile, hear the voice that will haunt my dreams for all time. I can not bear to see us together, see us happy and light, and cannot handle seeing our bond clearly evident as it is projected on the massive screen in front of me, a reminder of all I have lost shoved in my face.

Salt on an open, gaping, festering wound that will never heal.

But Frankie asked it of me, so I shall do her will as I die a little more on the inside.

Following her instructions, I pull up the video on my phone then tap the icon that will send it to the TV, then hesitate, but only briefly before I hit play.

"Hi, guys,” my mate chirps from the screen but I look away, set my phone on the table beside me and begin stroking Thor as he sleeps against my chest. "So first of all, yeah, Zan and I are totally naked behind Nic Cage's face so it's either you deal with that or get a show even more unexpected than the one you're already getting."

We were very naked, and had just made love as a matter of fact, but I still don't look up.

I don't need to.

I can see it all in my mind just as clearly as if I were watching.

"All joking aside though, if you're watching this it means that my body is laid out at the Dragovihk family altar with nothing but amazing photos, family heirlooms, and the skulls of three psychopaths to keep me company."

"My darling girl, I hardly think that's appropriate." My voice, a smile in my tone.

"Coming from you that means very little.” She kissed me then. "Appropriate or not, it's true, and just so we're clear, I am well aware of everything that's going to happen because I helped plan it. So Al, calm the fuck down and just listen, ok?"

At that moment Frankie's arm started to tremor, three sets of three, hard jerking that actually required her to pass off the phone to me and I set it up so we could record hands free.

"That was a rough one.” I hear her light her bowl, and take a hard hit. "And it's why you're all sitting there now, to be honest. At this point I'm sure you're wondering what the fuck is going on, especially since we had such an amazing and normal day together and then BAM, I'm toast."

“Frankie," I scolded her, several times actually, because I felt as though it was improper to be so silly during something so serious. My mate didn't listen.

"It's true, baby. Everything about today was business as usual except maybe the extra effort I made to get individual time with everyone. And don't worry, I know it weirded some of you out. I'm looking at you Drej, I saw your confused twitchy eyebrow thing, you can't deny it." Frankie hits her bowl again. "There was a reason behind all of it though, a good fucking reason, and I'm going to share that in a minute but I need to talk to Allie real quick."

I smile a touch because I swear my darling mate was psychic.

"Allie Rose, do not blame Zan for one single bit of this shit, ok? Everything is going to make more sense in a second but I need you to check yourself first, although I'm sure you already slapped him at least once by now."