Page 8

eight

Penelope

“ H ey, Penny!” Eloise calls to me as I’m sitting off to the side, watching their clinic. “Come over here, sit with us.”

I’ve done my best to stay back from the other moms. Not because they’re not kind or anything, but because I need to maintain my distance. I know Ashton thinks it’s stupid, but if we have to run tomorrow, I don’t want to feel worse about it as I’m leaving friends without any explanation. I don’t need any more reasons to feel like shit about myself.

Still, saying no to them after being invited isn’t really an option. So I smile, gather my bags, and shift over.

“Hey,” I say as I sit down.

“Penelope, this is Maryanne. She’s Joe’s mom. This is Amari. Her son is Briggs, by far the best skater here, and then the blonde down there banging on the glass because her son is chipping the ice with his skates is Darlene.”

“It’s nice to meet you all officially. I’ve met Amari a few times in the coffee shop. It’s great to see you again.”

Amari smiles warmly. “You too. I’ll be heading there after practice because there is not enough coffee to keep me running today. School can’t start soon enough.”

Eloise laughs. “Tell me about it. The summer feels longer this year.”

“Probably because you have a newborn,” Maryanne notes .

In my perfect life plan, I would’ve been Eloise right now. I wanted two kids, a few years apart, but not more than seven. My brother and I are far apart, and I always wished we were closer. While I love having only Kai, sometimes I wish I could at least have options for more, but again, no one wants to be with a woman who is running from her past.

“That would be why, still, Miles has been amazing with helping. He’s kept Ethan busy so much for me, but it’s still exhausting. Between Doug still not being mobile and Cora waking all the time, I just wish I had a few hours during the day where I could ... sleep,” Eloise says, and you can almost feel the exhaustion.

“Your brother has aged like a fine wine,” Maryanne says as she bites her lip.

Eloise makes a gagging noise. “Stop it.”

“What? I’m single, he’s single. I’m just saying that Miles is still hot.”

I glance over where he’s waiting at the end, watching the kids trying to learn how to stop while on the ice. I say try because most of the time he ends up catching them as they’re flying by, unable to get their feet in the right position to stop the way he’s trying to teach them.

He’s wearing a baseball hat backward, and the way he’s squatting right now gives a really good view of his ass.

Not that I’m looking.

Because I’m totally not.

I mean, maybe a little, but just because Maryanne mentioned it, not because I do think he’s incredibly good looking and I might be developing a stupid crush on the guy who is kind, thoughtful, and makes me smile.

However, I’m not going to ever admit that out loud, and as a sister to a brother, Eloise definitely doesn’t want to hear it. Growing up, I always had to listen to my friends go on and on about Quinn. It was nauseating. First of all, he was my brother. And second, just ewww.

“He’s also absolutely not your type,” Eloise says, shuddering a little .

Oh, this is interesting. I listen a little closer and stop looking at Miles’s butt.

“What, he doesn’t like girls who are single?” Maryanne asks, raising a brow.

“I think you mean he likes girls who are stable.”

Maryanne laughs. “Touché.”

Eloise turns to me. “Maryanne has been relentlessly flirting with Miles for so long it’s become a joke.”

I grin. “I’m sure he loves it—deep down.”

“See! I’m starting to think it’s the male population instead of my terrible taste,” Maryanne notes.

I’d tend to agree with her since my experience would support that theory. I didn’t actively look for a terrible guy. In fact, he never showed any red flags until they all went flying at the same time.

“Miles is nothing like the guys you date,” Eloise informs her.

“I know, that’s why I just admire him from afar. I’m pretty sure I’d get bored of his goody-two-shoes attitude and being nice and all that.”

Eloise sighs heavily. “Well, there are not many men like Miles, and I’ll just say that whatever woman he ends up with is going to be extremely lucky. He’s a good one.”

“And he’s hot,” Maryanne reminds us.

“Anyway, I’m not even sure what I’m saying at this point. I’m pretty sure I just complimented my brother, so that should tell you how fucking exhausted I am.”

“Is Cora sleeping in longer increments yet?” I ask.

She shakes her head. “No, that girl is up every two hours. During the day, she’ll push it to three, or she tried for four yesterday, but I’ve been forcing her to nurse on schedule during the day with the hopes at night she’ll sleep, but ... it’s not working.”

I remember how absolutely miserable I was right after Kai was born. I never knew what tired was until he came. It made matters worse that I was pretty much alone until Ashton came. She was a godsend and helped me through the first week and a half before she had to go back home. I remember being so exhausted I would just cry, because I had no energy to do anything else.

“She’ll get there,” Amari encourages. “The first few weeks are the worst.”

Eloise yawns. “I know, but ... I’m older this time, and it just feels so much worse. Ethan literally is nonstop with wanting to do things. I don’t know how that kid functions on that level of energy. I sit down, he needs something. I cook, he hates it. I clean up, he destroys it. I close my eyes while Cora is finally napping, and he’s screaming and begging me to do something. No matter what I try, he’s just always in my hair, and I know it feels worse because I’m so tired, but ... I just need sleep .”

I can’t imagine what she’s feeling. Doing it with just Kai was hard, but at least I could sleep when he did.

“If you want, I can keep Ethan overnight after work,” I offer. “He can have a sleepover, which I know Kai would love, and since I’m off the next day, he can just hang at the house. You can sleep or whatever you need to if that helps.”

Eloise’s eyes fill with unshed tears. “Are you serious?”

“Absolutely. The boys can play, which will keep Kai busy. I wasn’t planning on doing anything but clean a bit. I can take them to the bike park if you want too?”

“You are an angel, Penelope. An absolute angel. That would be ... amazing. Gran is coming on Friday to help a little, and I could sleep ... oh, I don’t even know what to say. Thank you.”

I smile. “It’s nothing. It helps me too. Kai will love having his friend over, and the two of them can keep each other busy.”

“When do you work again?”

“I work tonight.”

“Then you have to let me keep Kai for the rest of today. The same logic applies. He’ll keep Ethan out of my hair, and Doug can supervise the boys. That way you don’t have to take Kai into the coffee shop and he can just hang by me.”

The panic that’s always a small ball in my stomach grows, making me feel like I can’t breathe. I force a smile. “That’s too much. You have the baby and adding another six-year-old into the mix will be a lot.”

“No, I promise, it won’t. At this point my house is a zoo and what you said is right: it’ll keep Ethan occupied and Doug can hobble his ass outside while they play. Doug and I were going to take the boys to watch Miles’s Ultimate Frisbee match, and when we’re there, Ethan is always trying to run onto the field. Maybe with your son, who actually behaves, we won’t have to threaten to tie him to his chair.” We both laugh. “Please, it’ll be a help to both of us.”

It’s as though my mind is being torn down the middle. On one side, I have the rational part of me that says I should let Kai do this. It’s normal for kids to have sleepovers and playdates. What is not fun is sitting in the coffee shop for hours each day, and it’s not fair to him.

This will give him something to do, and if Eloise is offering, I shouldn’t turn it down.

But the side of me that’s ruled by the fear I’ve lived through says not a chance in fucking hell. No way should I let my son go to someone’s house. I don’t know Eloise and Doug well enough. I’ve met her only a few times, and I can’t let Kai be away from me.

What if I have to grab Kai?

What if he’s far away and I can’t get to him?

And then I think, What if that never happens? What if my brother has hidden us well again and we have years where we get to live in this town? Heck, we could have forever.

I force myself to take a deep breath and think. Fear is never going to make sense. It’s a liar and a thief. I can make it to Kai in just fifteen minutes, and my brother always gives us more of a notice than that.

I can do this. I can let him go for just a little while. I need a middle ground that will appease both sides of my brain.

“All right. If you can keep Kai while I’m at work, I’ll pick both boys up after, and they can sleep at my house. Then we have the whole next day?”

She smiles. “Deal.”

I can do this. I did it the other day with Miles driving him, and I can handle it this time.

At least, I hope.

I check my watch for the hundredth time, no texts or calls from anyone. This is a good thing. It means that Kai isn’t in trouble and no one is close to finding me. All is good .

Everything is fine.

Maybe if I tell myself that enough, I’ll believe it.

The door chimes, alerting me that I have customers. When I look up, it’s Miles, Everett, and Lachlan.

“Hey, guys,” I say, forcing myself to be calm and collected.

“Penny! My angel of caffeine. Load me up with a double espresso, please, and put it on Hazel’s best-friends-drink-free pass,” Everett says with his arms wide.

I laugh and shake my head. “She revoked that.”

“She wouldn’t.”

I shrug. “She specifically told me that you pay for your coffee from now on.”

“That woman is more temperamental than a vintage car. I swear, she gets mad and takes it out on my coffee addiction.”

Lachlan shakes his head. “Maybe stop pissing her off.”

“It’s what I do best.”

“So coffee that is not on the house?” I ask.

Everett sighs heavily. “Fine. I’ll take it up with Hazel tonight.”

“She’s coming to the game?” Miles questions, leaning against the counter.

“She is. Apparently now that we suck, we’re drawing a crowd. The only thing this town loves more than a winner are terrible losers. I’m sure we’re going to be featured in some ridiculous article that Ainsley will no doubt be behind,” Everett notes.

I’m glad my back is turned to them so they can’t see my smile. Ainsley was in earlier, working on an article for her paper that was about elder men who still like to play sports as though they’re in their twenties.

I laughed. A lot.

It was very clear that Lachlan was on her shit list and this is some sort of retribution.

“I wouldn’t doubt it. She loves to find ways to make me look stupid,” Lachlan says with a laugh.

“There are so many options. How does she choose?”

“Fuck off, Everett.”

“No, boys, let’s not fight. We have a game in an hour, we need to be prepared,” Miles says, stepping in with all the pragmatism of a principal.

There’s a short silence, and I use this as my chance to hand the coffee over. “Here you go.”

“Thank you, sweet Penny. You’re my favorite woman in this town,” Everett says with a wink.

“I appreciate that.”

“Miles here feels the same,” Everett says, leaning his elbow on the counter. “He was telling us today in a group chat how he asked you out and you shot him down.”

There’s a low grumbling noise from where Miles is standing.

“I didn’t shoot him down.”

“Did you say yes?” Everett sips his espresso and raises one brow.

“I didn’t, but I didn’t say no either.”

“So it’s a maybe?”

“That’s enough.” Miles steps in, pushing Everett to the side. “Ignore him. He’s mad about the lack of free coffee.”

“Dude! I was helping. You have no game. I was letting you borrow some of mine!” Everett comes back closer. “One date with Miles, Penny. If it sucks, I’ll take you out and show you a good time.”

I laugh and feel the heat flaming my cheeks.

“I’ll kill him,” Miles warns.

“Come on before he actually does it,” Lachlan says as he’s pulling Everett from the coffeehouse.

“I’m sorry about that,” Miles apologizes.

“Don’t be. Remember, I have a brother, and he would do the same for his best friend.” Honestly, I’m pretty sure Quinn has done far worse to Liam. Any chance he has to mortify him, he takes it and vice versa.

Miles gives me a half smile. “Yeah, friends are great like that. Where’s Kai? I’d love to say hi. Is he in the back?”

“Actually, he’s with Eloise. He’s going to your game tonight.”

“Really?”

I nod. “Yeah, I’m going to take the boys from there back home, and Ethan is spending the night. It’ll give Eloise some time to just sleep. ”

“I tried to offer to keep him the other night, but she wouldn’t let me.”

“Postpartum is a really hard time. Most days you think you want something you don’t, or you do want it and tell yourself you don’t. I’m sure she regretted not taking you up on it.”

I felt like I was a yo-yo after Kai. One minute I was up, then down, then back and forth. I just couldn’t get a grip.

“I can only imagine. So are you coming to watch me play?” His grin is adorable, and I’d like to kiss it off his perfect face.

Which is a bad idea.

Instead of doing that, I lean back a little. “Not exactly. I’m coming to pick up the boys.”

“And that, coincidentally , means you’re coming to the game.”

“Sure,” I say with a laugh.

“So it’s kind of a date.”

“No, it’s a coincidental meeting location.”

“Also known as a date.” Miles tilts his head. “I’m just saying, we’re having a lot of these lately. I’d like to plan something a little more formal.”

I chuckle. “I bet you would.”

“With all the thinking you’ve been doing, I’ve been doing some as well.”

“Have you?”

He nods. “Yeah, so, how about this? We coincidentally meet on ... say, Thursday night? I’ll just happen to have some kind of coffee emergency that you have to come to my house to fix. The neighborly thing to do is help someone in need.”

“I see.”

Miles continues on, letting out a long sigh first. “It’s just ... the way it goes. I’ve helped you, you help me. When you get there, I’ll just be finishing up cooking, so you can just—stay.”

“It’s a very orchestrated coincidence to have a coffee emergency, which I didn’t even know was a thing—while cooking,” I say, crossing my arms over my chest and fighting back a grin.

God, he’s cute.

He’s cute and he’s funny and he’s sweet and I don’t want to like him, but I do.

Damn it .

“It is, but fate has a way of making things happen.” Miles shrugs and stands up. “I have to go, but I’ll see you at the field.”

“I’ll see you then.”

“What a way these coincidental dates keep happening, Penny. You’re going to have to accept that maybe some things are out of our control and we’re just fighting the inevitable.”

I snort a laugh. “I guess we’ll have to see what happens ...”

“I guess we will.”