Page 5

five

Miles

T here is way too much excitement in Hazel’s voice about getting to make me drink this. Although this trip here was my idea because I wanted to see Penny.

“Trying a bunch of coffee wasn’t what I was going for, but if you think you can fix me”—I say to Penelope—“I think we should try.”

Penelope smiles broadly. “I hopefully will find you the good stuff.”

She already has, it’s just not in a mug.

Lachlan snorts and puts his hand on my shoulder. “I see what you were looking for now, buddy.” He taps my chest. “Let’s go before you start drooling on the new girl.”

Penelope and Hazel come around a minute later, and the good stuff has already arrived, but it’s not in the form of coffee.

I don’t know what it is about this girl, but I like her. She’s sweet, and after hanging out with her at the ice-cream store and then our walk, I just ... I don’t know, I like her.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Penelope asks.

I shake my head. “Not especially.”

“This should be fun then.”

“Maybe you and Hazel can turn me into a new man.”

Hazel scoffs. “Please, I’ve been trying to fix all you men in this town for years, it’s going to take a lot more than coffee.”

Everett shakes his head. “Please, I’m not broken. ”

Hazel’s eyes narrow. “You’re the worst of the lot. At least Lachlan got his head out of his ass and went after Ainsley.”

“There’s no head up my ass, sweetheart. I’m perfectly happy being single,” he explains.

She rolls her eyes. “You’re perfectly happy being a pain in everyone’s ass.”

“That too,” he agrees.

Penelope looks to me and I shrug. This is just their friendship. They’re worse than me and Eloise bickering, and that’s saying a lot. For a long time, I thought there was some kind of underlying sexual tension brewing between them.

As the years have gone by, I’ve realized that is absolutely not the case. In fact, there’s not an ounce of attraction between them.

They really are just like brother and sister.

Hazel focuses on me. “What about coffee don’t you like?”

What the fuck kind of question is that? “How the hell would I know?”

“Well, is it the aftertaste? Is it too weak? Do you like something that’ll put hair on your balls?”

I glare at her, and Penelope laughs softly. Great, she’s making me look like a fucking dweeb in front of her. “I hate how it tastes.”

She rolls her eyes. “You’re hopeless. Okay, we’ll start with the strongest and work our way back. Be ready for so much coffee you’re going to swim in it.” She turns, pulling Penelope with her. “Also, today’s tasting will be sixty bucks!”

“Oh, great, I get to pay to drink sludge.”

Lachlan slaps my shoulder. “As much as I’d love to sit around and watch this show, I have to pick Rose up from cheerleading, and I’d rather be anywhere than with you.”

Rose is his six-year-old daughter, whom I adore. She’s big into competition cheerleading, and there’s nothing more entertaining than watching Lachlan be a girl-dad. He loves every second of it and has zero shame.

“I’d rather be with Rose than you too.”

He grins. “See you later, Romeo.”

Everett sits opposite of me. “I’m here for the long haul.”

“Goodie. ”

He grins. “Listen, what about that barista?”

“What about her?” I ask, keeping my voice neutral.

If Everett suspects I have a thing for her, then he’ll be relentless in his teasing. Lachlan is much more mature when it comes to this. It’s best I keep this to myself for now.

He glances back where she is, keeping his voice low. “What do you think? She’s beautiful.”

Yes, she is. “Okay.”

Everett huffs a heavy breath. “It’s a wonder why I’m friends with you.”

“I wonder why too.”

“Anyway, I’m thinking I should ask her out.”

Absolutely fucking not. Not only because I’m attracted to her, but because Everett just got back on Hazel’s good side after sleeping with her last barista. “Did you learn nothing after sleeping with Cherish?”

“Ehh, Hazel will get over it.”

“Or not.”

He leans back in his seat, stretching his arms up. “Probably not. You’re right. Hazel really likes Penny. She said she’s smart, hardworking, and has some great ideas on ways to improve.”

“Like what?” I ask.

“I didn’t say I paid attention after that,” he jokes.

Before I can, once again, tell him what an asshat he is, Hazel and Penelope come with trays.

Multiple trays of coffee.

This was such a bad idea.

Penelope places down the tray and hands me a cup with very little in it. Well, I can at least chug that much if she’s watching.

“All right, this is going to be the strongest coffee possible. It’s an espresso, but a very bold one,” Hazel says as she sits beside me.

“For sixty bucks I better get desserts too,” I say, taking the offered cup.

“Sure, honey, we’ll get you a cookie.”

I laugh with a shake of my head. “Bottoms up.”

I take the first sip and want to spit it back out. God, that is so freaking gross. “No.”

“No what?”

“No, I’m not drinking this.”

She sighs. “It’s strong, but it’s meant to show you the varying bean possibilities.”

“There is no possibility that I will like or want to consume this—ever,” I tell her, putting it down.

We go down a few more cups, and I’m about to give up when Penny walks over with a cup. “I’ve been listening to you talk about the things you like and don’t like. I made this version and ... I don’t know, if you want to try it ...”

I look up into her deep-blue eyes, and no matter how terrible it is, I know I’ll drink it. Because I’m clearly a stupid idiot.

“I’ll try it,” I say immediately. “Under one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“You go on a date with me?”

Penny’s eyes widen. “You’ll drink the coffee for a date?”

“With you.”

Hazel laughs, but then turns it into a cough. “Smooth.”

I ignore that. “What do you say?”

“I’m sorry, I ... just moved here, and I’m not really ready to date right now. Plus, I have these rules and, well, I just wouldn’t want to give you the wrong impression.”

The only impression I have is that she’s adorable and I want to spend more time with her. It’s why I’m here, looking at the coffee in her hand.

“I understand. How about I drink this coffee and you think about it?”

“Seriously, you’re embarrassing yourself,” Everett says under his breath, but loud enough the people next door could hear.

“Shut up, asshole. I’m talking to Penny.”

She smiles and I swear I could fucking start singing show tunes.

Yeah, I know, I’m definitely ridiculous.

“Just think about it?” she says, taking pity on me.

“Yup. You just think about how great dating me would be.”

Penny looks down at her feet. “I can do that.”

And that’s progress. “Perfect,” I say, extending my hand. “Pass it over. It can’t be worse than the shit Hazel has been making me drink. What’s this on top?”

“Just try it and I promise I’ll explain what it is,” Penny offers, and then she chews on her thumbnail.

I take a sip and it’s the oddest experience. The top is a thick foam that has a sweet vanilla flavor, and then you get a taste of the coffee. It’s smoother than the last cup I drank, not acidic and harsh.

My eyes meet hers. “What is this?”

“Do you like it?”

“I hate it the least,” I say, but I take another sip to see if I actually do like it.

“So you kept talking about the bitterness, which is from the acid in coffee. When you cold brew it, you remove a lot of that, and then the foam on top sweetens it so that you’re getting the coffee, but not all at once, giving your tongue a chance to take them in separately.”

I take another sip, this time focusing on what Penelope said. She’s right. It’s like getting two different drinks, and neither stays for too long. “This isn’t bad.”

Hazel laughs. “Well, that’s the highest praise we’ve gotten so far!”

“I don’t love it, but I don’t hate it.”

“Well, that’s something,” Penelope says, looking away and tucking her hair behind her ear.

“It’s something all right,” Hazel jumps in. “I’ve been trying to get this man to drink coffee for years! I’m like the coffee whisperer and he’s had me stumped.” She looks to Penny. “If he comes back more than five times, you’re getting a raise.”

Everyone laughs, and I know that I’ll be back tomorrow, if for no other reason than to make Penelope smile and ask her out again.

I didn’t make it into the coffee shop yesterday, but there was nothing that was keeping me away today.

The bell chimes as I walk in and Hazel is at the front. Immediately I feel deflated.

“Happy to see you too,” Hazel reads my mood.

“I’m always happy to see you,” I lie.

Hazel snorts. “Penelope! Can you come out and help a customer? I need to run to the bakery for more scones.”

Penelope comes rushing out. “Of course!” Then she turns to me. “Oh, hi.”

I look to Hazel and smile. Okay, maybe I am going to be eternally happy to see her from now on. She winks and then heads into the back.

“Hey.”

“You’re back?” Penelope asks, tucking her hair behind her ear. “What can I get you?”

I lean against the counter. “I was hoping for a scone.”

She laughs softly. “Seems we’re out of those.”

“Damn. I hate it when that happens.”

Penelope pulls her lower lip between her teeth. “Sorry, you can wait if you want, I’m sure Hazel will be right back with them.”

I shrug. “I can wait.”

I’d wait for an hour if it means I can talk to her.

“Do you want another cold brew with foam while you’re waiting?” Penelope asks.

As much as the coffee she made me wasn’t absolutely the worst thing I ever drank, I didn’t exactly acquire a taste for it. Still, I’m going to drink it.

“I’d love that,” I say and nearly whoop when she smiles.

Fuck, I’ll be drinking ten of these a day if I can make her happy like that. I’ll surely be getting a date at this rate.

Maybe I’m not such an idiot around women.

“Great! I’ll make it now.”

She turns around, grabbing the cup and doing whatever the hell the drink requires, and then faces me, handing me the coffee.

Her eyes don’t leave mine as she waits for me to take a sip.

I school my features, trying to summon up the acting class I had to take in college for an easy A, and drink.

God, it tastes like shit still, however, on my face, you’d never know.

“This is great. Thank you,” I say and Penelope smiles warmly.

Yeah, totally worth drinking the garbage.

“So, how is Kai? ”

“Good, he’s in the back, just hanging out while I work.”

I nod. “He’s doing really great with skating. Not every kid can pick it up the way he is. Honestly, he’s a natural.”

Kai is already improving with skating and stick drills, far faster than I would’ve expected. Ethan and I have always played hockey, since the time my sister would allow it at least. Doug and I both grew up playing and I like being with my nephew, so it was kind of our thing. Ethan skates rings around the other kids, which I’ve had to try to tamp down a little.

However, Kai is getting really good at the basics.

“That makes me happy,” she confesses. “I always worry with him. You know, it’s hard moving to a new town, but a customer mentioned the hockey clinic and I hoped maybe he’d like it. He hated soccer.”

“Hockey is much better,” I say with a lot of bias.

She laughs softly. “Well, you are a town legend.”

“I am, huh? You’ve been asking around about me?” I lean closer, going for a cute flirty type of encounter.

“Not even a little.”

I stand up, clutching my chest. “I’m wounded.”

“Should I call Everett?”

“To finish me off?”

Penelope laughs and shakes her head. “He’s a doctor.”

“He works on cows and horses. Are you comparing me?”

She shakes her head again. “No, not even a little.”

I smile. “Good, that wouldn’t bode well for me.” I bring the coffee back to my lips and force down another sip. “Especially since we could be here, planning our date.”

Penelope raises her brows. “We could be?”

“Yeah, I mean, you’re supposed to be thinking about it.”

“I am.”

“Thinking about it or planning it?” I ask.

“Thinking,” she says slowly.

Before I can ask another question, Hazel pops back around from the back. “Scones.”

I’d like to shove that scone? —

“Great!” Penelope says with a little too much enthusiasm for me. “Miles has been waiting for one.”

Penelope takes a scone off the tray and places it in a bag. “Total for the scone and coffee is twelve dollars.”

“How much is the coffee?” I ask. Usually I get a pastry and a tea and it’s five bucks.

“The coffee is five dollars.”

“Five dollars for the coffee?” I ask, now turning my attention to Hazel who shrugs. Right. Well, even if it was eleven dollars, it would be worth the encounter I just had with Penelope. I got to spend a few minutes with her and honestly, that’s the only reason I came here anyway.

I could’ve made my own breakfast and tea at home.

I pay and give Penelope a tip. Since my lifelong friend is clearly trying to cockblock me, I grab the coffee and scone, lifting the bag up. “Thanks for everything. I’m sure I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Penny nods. “See you tomorrow.”

While I had all intentions of going to get coffee from Penny again, my sister needed me as soon as I left the coffee shop that morning, causing me to miss it for the last four days.

Only she’s forgiven because I’m holding the tiniest, most beautiful little girl I’ve ever seen. She’s a day old and already owns my heart.

“Now, no matter what they tell you, Cora, I’m your favorite uncle, and I didn’t put the hole in the wall. Your mother did.”

Eloise rolls her eyes. “You’re already lying to your niece. Nice example you are. You totally put the hole in the wall and blamed me.”

One day, when we were kids, there was a mystery hole that appeared in the living room wall of our grandmother’s house. At least it was a mystery as far as Gran was concerned. Of course, Eloise and I know exactly how it appeared there. However, my diabolical sister always thought if we just stuck together a little, Gran wouldn’t punish us as harshly.

That time I went along with it. We told Gran neither of us knew how it got there. Surely it wasn’t the fact that Eloise and I were playing baseball in the house. We’d never do such a thing.

Gran was never able to prove anything, and she’s a stickler on fairness and evidence. Therefore, we got away with it, and each time someone wanted to blackmail the other, the hole became the chip we used.

Even to this day.

I grin. “It was you who did it, El. We both know it.”

My sister sighs, her head turning to look out the window. “Yeah, yeah, but Gran doesn’t know. Hey, thanks for keeping Ethan a few extra days. I hoped I wouldn’t end up having a C-section, but this one was clearly not willing to make things easy on me.”

“You don’t have to thank me—he’s my nephew.”

“I know, but ... still. I know you wanted to be on the lake this summer.”

I rock Cora in my arms, as her brother is running around out back. “I’m where I need to be.”

She reaches her hand out, resting it on my arm. “She’s really perfect.”

“She is.”

“Do you ever wonder what Mom would’ve been like?” Eloise asks.

That question takes me back a little. “I guess. I wonder more what our lives would’ve looked like if we had parents.”

“Gran definitely would have less gray hair.”

“And probably not scowl as much.”

She laughs. “Careful or I’ll tell her as much.”

Like the saying goes about calling the Devil, she enters the living room. “My hearing hasn’t gone yet, Miles. Watch yourself.”

“It’s hard to steal the hearing from an angel,” I say, trying to win her back.

She scoffs. “I know all your charms, Miles Anderson, which means I know you ain’t got none.”

“Please, I’m the most charming person you know, Gran.”

At least that’s what I believe. I’m the grandson for the ages.

She sits in the rocking chair, shaking her head. “I think Ethan is leagues above you. ”

“I taught him everything I know.”

Gran smiles and reaches her arms out. “Give me my great-granddaughter, please.”

I get up, placing Cora in her arms, and all that piss and vinegar dissolves as she holds the baby.

“She looks like Eloise,” I say, remembering all the photos of us as babies.

Gran leans in, kissing Cora’s forehead. “She does, only cuter.”

“Hey!” Eloise protests. “I was adorable.”

Gran scoffs. “Until you could talk. Then all that cuteness went out the window.”

I chuckle. “You know, Gran, it’s a wonder with all your praise and adoration that you dole out that Eloise and I are so humble.”

“I prefer honesty over flattery,” Gran says while stretching her neck.

“Except when we’re talking about her,” Eloise says with raised eyes as she stares at Gran.

Which is true. Gran denies any story that doesn’t paint her in the light she feels is accurate. Not that Eloise and I have much to complain about. Gran was loving, firm, and always willing to do anything for us. She had raised her kids and didn’t hesitate to do it again, even though life wasn’t going to be easy.

“Miles, why didn’t you go see your sister in the hospital?” Gran asks, already knowing the answer to that.

“Because I don’t do hospitals.”

“Until you need one, and then you’re not going to be able to be so smug about it.”

“I’m not smug,” I tell her.

Eloise sighs heavily. “He’s always been this way, Gran, he’s not going to change now. He’s convinced that people only go to the hospital to die. Clearly we’ve proven that wrong.”

“You have issues and I have mine. I’m aware that it’s not rational, but I just can’t do it.”

I believe that grief and fear manifest in different ways for everyone. I’m fully aware that being afraid of the hospital is irrational. It saves more people than it harms. I can literally walk through all the truths and it doesn’t matter. I fucking can’t do it .

When Doug got hurt, I made it to the front doors and froze.

When Gran had a fall, I was furious with myself for having a full-fledged panic attack as I tried to walk through the hospital doors and couldn’t.

I can’t do it.

I’ve tried. I’ve talked to the school counselor about it, hoping maybe a trained professional could shed some light on why a grown man who has no other issues, and is fully able to rationalize things, can’t walk through the damn doors.

Since I can remember, I got nothing other than hospitals are a trigger, and it all ties back to my mother’s death.

“If either of you think I want to be this way, you’re unhinged,” I say, tossing my ankle onto my knee.

“Would you do it for a kid?” Eloise asks. “If Ethan or Cora needed you, what then?”

“Let’s hope I’m never faced with it, although I’m pretty sure I’d do what needed to be done. I was perfectly happy waiting for Cora to come home and keeping Ethan from terrorizing the nursing staff.”

Gran chuckles. “That boy is all his mother.”

“Yes, he is.” I push that topic, knowing it’ll be much more enjoyable than my fears. “He’s just like her. I feel like we should examine why that is? Is it a genetic trait? Nature versus nurture, maybe? I guess we’ll know once little Cora grows up and we can see if she’s like Doug more.”

Eloise rolls her eyes. “I’m going to enjoy every moment when you become a dad.”

“Since I plan for that moment to happen—never—it’s a dream you’ll have to let die.”

And people die, which is why becoming a parent isn’t on my list of things I want. I’d rather not take the risk.