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eleven

Penelope

I roll over, glancing at the clock, waiting to see it tell me it’s been fifteen minutes since I last checked. I nearly leap out of bed when I see it’s actually ten in the morning.

How the hell did I sleep until ten?

Well, I didn’t fall asleep until after six in the morning.

Why, you ask?

Because all I did was replay that moment on the couch about Miles almost kissing me. I replayed it a hundred ways, me telling him off, me kissing him, the way his lips would feel, the way he’d taste, if he would be soft and sensual or rough and dominating.

All of it was like a stupid movie that wouldn’t shut off.

I’m surprised there’s not a bald spot in the carpet from me walking to the door and back as I talked myself out of just going to his room and kissing him so I could stop imagining it.

However, I held back, used some self-restraint I didn’t know I possessed, and stayed in my room. Counting down the minutes until it would be eight and I could get the boys and go see if my house was still standing.

I seem to have screwed that up.

Quickly, I brush my teeth and then head out to see if the boys are awake. I stop mid-step when I see the scene before me. Miles is at the stove, and the boys are sitting at the table. Miles is in a pair of basketball shorts and an Ember Falls Bulldogs shirt .

His smile is easy as he chats with the boys, and all the reminders, rules, and restrictions I put on myself disappear at the sight of him cooking breakfast for my son.

“You have to eat bacon with pancakes, it’s a law,” Ethan tells Kai.

“It’s not a law.”

“It should be.”

Kai sighs dramatically. “I don’t like bacon.”

Miles drops the spatula. “You don’t like bacon?”

My son shrugs. “Mom says I’m weird.”

“It is weird. Everyone likes bacon!” Ethan protests.

Kai looks over, seeing me. “Mom! Tell them I’m not weird.”

I chuckle and enter the kitchen fully, keeping my eyes off the very sexy man at the stove. If I don’t look at him, I can’t ogle his perfect body.

So I turn to Kai. “You’re totally weird, dude. Bacon is the best.”

“Thank God, I thought I was going to have to stage an intervention,” Miles says with relief.

“No need for that.”

“There’s bacon and pancakes on the counter. Help yourself to whatever you want.”

Now I really want to kiss him. “You should’ve woken me. I’m sorry.”

“I went in your room, but you were snoring,” Kai informs everyone. “Coach said to let you sleep and the men could handle breakfast.”

I smile. “He did?”

“I do know how to make the essentials,” Miles says, flipping a pancake and then pointing to the food on the counter with his spatula.

I take my cue and grab a plate, loading it up with two pancakes and some bacon.

“This looks great,” I say.

“I made you coffee as well.”

My eyes find his. “You made coffee?”

“You do like coffee, right?”

“Yes, but no one has ever made me coffee, that’s my job. ”

He smiles warmly, and I feel it through my veins. “I think you deserve to have someone make you coffee for a change.”

Yeah, that warms me in other places.

Miles goes back to cooking, and I pull my lip between my teeth while heading to the coffeepot. I thought by now I’d be sick of coffee, but that’s not the case. I still have my very strong addiction to it.

With my cup of caffeine and breakfast plate, I sit at the table beside Kai. After I slather my pancakes with syrup, I take a bite and moan. Oh my God, these are incredible. They’re lemon blueberry with something else that gives it this creamy center. I swear, I might just fall off my chair.

“Good?” Miles asks with a chuckle.

“Very,” I say between bites. “What is this?”

“Lemon blueberry with ricotta. It’s Gran’s famous recipe that she demanded Eloise and I learn when we were kids.”

“Well, it’s heavenly.”

“I’m glad you like it. Once everyone is done eating, we can head back up to your house while it’s daylight and assess any damage and what we need to tackle, if that works for you?”

“That would be great, but you really don’t have to do that,” I tell him quickly.

“It’s what friends do.”

That word again. “Yes, I guess that is something friends do.”

He smiles boyishly, and I’m pretty sure we’re both thinking about what friends wanted to do last night.

I drop my head to avoid his eyes and keep my cheeks from view. If the color matches the heat, I’m definitely giving away my inner thoughts.

“Can we go back in the fort?” Ethan asks.

“Go ahead, and then you’re going to need to break it down before you head home, Ethan.”

“Awww!” they both complain.

“Kai, you need to clean up your mess. Coach Miles was very kind coming to help us in the storm, and it would be rude to leave his room a mess,” I say so that Miles doesn’t have to be the bad guy. “Do you understand?”

“Yes, ma’am. Come on, Ethan! ”

They take their paper plates, putting them in the trash, and the silverware in the sink, before they disappear.

Miles shuts everything off and makes himself a plate, sitting beside me. “Did you sleep okay?”

“I did,” I lie.

“I didn’t,” he admits.

“Why? Was it the storm?”

It howled almost all night. The thunder seemed to come in waves one after another, and it definitely is the excuse I’m using to tell myself it was not the almost kiss.

“It was not.” He pops a piece of bacon in his mouth. “Since we’re friends and all, can I tell you about my issue? You know the one that kept me up at night?”

Oh boy.

“As your friend, I guess so,” I say hesitantly.

“It’s this girl,” Miles says, leaning back. “I like her. I’m pretty sure she likes me, too, but ... she isn’t ready for dating.”

I can play along with this. “I see, that’s gotta be hard for you.”

“Tremendously.”

“Do you see her often?”

Miles nods. “Almost daily.”

“And does she know how you feel?”

He leans in, his hand a breath away from mine. “I’m pretty sure she does.”

There’s this incredible tightness in my chest from his nearness. He smells so good. He’s so close. I could just kiss him once, see if the dreams were even close.

I debate it for another second, lingering over his features, studying the way his eyes show no hesitation.

If I do this. If I moved closer, just a bit, he’d kiss me, and I know, in the pit of my stomach—it would be good.

But I don’t know that I can do it.

This is a really bad idea when I remember all my reasons. Edward’s killer hunting me, running, them finding me, threatening Kai ... each one tallies up in the con column, but then ... my heart wants something else.

It wants him .

“Mom!” Kai yells, rushing into the room, and two things happen almost at once.

I pull away so fast my momentum causes me to knock the chair back, my legs flying up in the air as I tip over.

“Oof!” I yell as I hit the floor, thankfully smart enough to lean forward and not hit my head.

The other is Miles leaping out of his seat and calling my name. “Penelope!”

I want to just die of mortification. Truly. I’ve never been more embarrassed in my life. I just went ass over head in a freaking chair.

Maybe if I keep my eyes closed, for a second, this will prove to be another variation of the dream.

However, it’s real. My dreams wouldn’t be that bad, and I don’t have that kind of luck for this not to have happened in reality.

I lift my hands when he reaches for me. “I’m fine. It’s fine. I meant to do that.”

Yeah, I definitely didn’t.

“You’re okay?”

“I’m . . . great.”

At least Miles has the decency to turn when he tries to stop from laughing. All I see is his shoulders shaking, but there’s no sound.

I get up, put the chair to rights, and then sigh.

“Did you hurt yourself?” Kai asks.

“No, honey, just ... what did you need?”

“I just wanted to know when we’re leaving.”

Immediately, so I don’t have to look at Miles. “In a few minutes. Start cleaning up.”

He rushes back out and Miles turns to face me. As soon as he goes to open his mouth, I stop him. “Don’t speak of it.”

He chuckles. “Okay.”

“I’m going to help wash dishes and never look you in the eye again, okay?”

“If you say so.”

“I do,” I tell him and walk to the sink, keeping my eyes down and hoping I can wash away the shame with soapy water.

“Why don’t we just head to your house from here? I have the chain saw, and my truck will get up the mountain better than your car,” Miles suggests as we stand outside Eloise’s house.

He used the same logic when it came to bringing Ethan back here. I figured we’d drop him off, and then I could go home with Kai and get to work on cleaning up.

However, that’s not the case. At Eloise’s insistence, Kai is staying with her. She has a whole-home generator as well, and after the night we had, she wouldn’t let it go. I agreed to let him stay, at least until we assess the house and see what’s going on. For all I know, a freaking tree fell on it.

What I didn’t intend on was Miles deciding to spend the day with me, claiming if there was debris in the road, it made sense for him to come to clear it, and then stating how he would be able to help with any home issues.

Of course, under the guise that friends do this for each other.

So friends we are, and he’s making sense, so I tamp down my need to be independent a little and just allow someone to help.

“All right.”

We get in his truck and head back toward our side of town. When we get past Miles’s road, it’s like the entire area seems to have changed. I’d swear we had a tornado touch down. There are branches, leaves, and even more debris than I remembered from last night.

“I’m going to have to cut this one,” he explains when we get to a big branch that’s blocking the road.

I get out of the car, helping him clear the cut-up branch. “I can’t believe how strong the storm was.”

“Yeah, it was pretty intense. Just fair warning, you’re going to be without power for a bit. We don’t get things restored around here quickly, and they focus on the other parts of town before this side.”

“Why?” I ask, not even thinking that could be a thing.

“Population. We’re like four people up here where the other parts of Ember Falls have more homes. It’s why I put the generator in.”

“I wish I’d known that. ”

He smiles. “Mr. Kipland put one in last year after we had a freak storm that left him without power for weeks.”

“Weeks?” I scream. “I can rough it for a few days, but weeks. I can’t handle that.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine. Parts of the town are already back online,” Miles tries to reassure me.

Of course my brother put me in this remote side of town where I’d lose power for weeks. That is, if the house even survived.

“I hope so.”

“As a friend, I’m just saying if you need somewhere to stay, you and Kai can always stay with me. No strings, just so you don’t have to suffer in the heat.”

“You’re a good friend,” I say, grateful that he even offered.

Not that I could ever take him up on it. I need sleep and not to be dreaming of the man across the hall.

We get the downed tree off to the side and pass through. As we approach my house, I pray it’s still standing. I let out a huge sigh when I see that it at least looks intact.

There are leaves and debris thrown all over the yard, but that can be cleaned.

We cut down the huge branch that almost took out my car and push aside twigs and leaves so we can get inside. The power is still off, but nothing looks damaged.

“Let’s check the back,” he suggests.

We exit the kitchen door and I gasp.

“Holy shit,” Miles says from behind me.

The tree we have in our backyard is split almost down the middle. “That was really close to the house,” I say, just looking at it, wondering how the tree is still standing.

“Yeah, it was. We need to call a company to get that taken care of. We’re not due for another round of storms, but I don’t know how long that’ll hold.”

I nod. “Okay, do you know anyone?”

“Of course. I’ll call now.”

He takes me around to the front of the house, pulling his phone out and making a call. Whoever is on the other end of the line causes him to laugh. Miles then explains the situation and replies with yes and of course a number of times. After he disconnects, he gives me a smile.

“Can they help?” I ask, hoping for a good answer.

“Yes, but not until tomorrow at the earliest. Look, friend , I’m just saying that staying here tonight isn’t a good idea. Do you want to call Hazel? See if you can stay there if you’re not comfortable staying with me until it’s fixed?”

Great. I really don’t want to stay at the coffee shop. The back room is good for maybe a few hours, but the couch is lumpy, and there’s no way I’ll be comfortable.

However, I absolutely think staying with Miles is a huge freaking mistake. I like him.

I like him a lot and that’s stupid.

I don’t trust myself.

I don’t trust my judgment, or the fact that I’ve sung this song before, and the lyrics aren’t going to change. There might be a new melody, but it will morph into something else and I’ll be broken by the bridge.

No, I have to stay strong.

I need to say no and that I’ll just spend the night in the spare room at the coffee shop.

“We’ll stay with you,” I say instead.

Because I’m an idiot.

Because I clearly have no self-control and I’m just ... dumb.

He grins. “Good. Too bad we had the boys break the fort down. I bet Kai would’ve liked to have another night in there. It’s fine, I’ll rebuild with him.”

And I’d like a night in his fort.

Oh dear God. Where the hell did that come from? Because he said he’d rebuild a fort?

I need to put a stop to this.

Hazel’s it is. I can’t stay with him because he’s scrambled my brain.

Once again, I open my mouth to tell him my change of heart, but I think about Kai and how much safer it is to stay there. “He’ll like that. ”

“Come on, I’ll start cleaning up the front, and you can grab whatever you guys need.”

“You said tomorrow, right?”

Miles’s eyes meet mine. “At the earliest. I’ll call tomorrow and push him, I promise.”

“I don’t know about that,” I say in disbelief. “I’m starting to think you’re planning this.”

He laughs. “You know, if I can control the lightning, then I’m bordering on Godlike. If that’s the case, you’re totally going to fall in love with me.”

I shake my head. “I was talking about the fact that the guy can’t come until tomorrow—at the earliest.”

“You heard the call.”

“I heard half.”

He hands me his phone. “Okay, oh-distrusting-one ... call him. He’s the last number dialed. His name is Justin.”

Now I feel bad. “I trust you.”

He pulls the phone back. “Good. Now I’ll get to work.”

I watch him walk away, trying—and failing—to not stare at his ass. Why does he have to be so damn cute?

After mentally slapping myself, I head into Kai’s bedroom and quickly grab some clothes for him.

Then I go across the hall to my room to pack a bag. I don’t need a lot if it’s just one night, but I grab way more than I need in case the tree does fully fall and my house is destroyed with all my belongings.

I need to let Jackson know since he owns the house. I’m not sure which phone to use, but I grab the burner, because at least I know that one is totally untraceable.

“Penelope?” Jackson’s deep voice comes through the line after the second ring.

“Hey, I didn’t know if I should call, but we had a massive storm. It’s bad, and there are trees and limbs and ...” I relay the facts about the tree and Miles.

“Wow. Are you guys okay?”

“We are, but there’s some damage, and I need to get a tree removed.”

He cuts in quickly. “I’ll pay for everything. Just do whatever you need for the house to be habitable. ”

“No, that’s not why I’m calling.” I’ve taken so much from him, there’s no way I’m asking him to pay for this. “I just wanted to tell you and get permission to handle whatever. You are my landlord.”

He chuckles. “I guess I am. Of course, send all the bills to Quinn. This will all be covered. You need to worry about you and Kai, not this shit. The company will pay for everything, and we have ways of hiding things.”

“Okay, that really isn’t necessary.”

“I know you feel like you’re taking advantage or whatever, but you’re family, Penelope. We take care of our families in this company. Not only that, but we need to keep any paper trail clean, and if you were renting from anyone, you’d do it this way. Keep with the script.”

“Thanks, J.”

“Of course.”

“Tell Catherine and the girls I said hi.”

“I will. Be safe, Penny.”

He hangs up and I sit on the edge of my bed, letting out a long sigh. Sometimes my life is just exhausting.

Nothing is normal or feels like it’s real. It’s part of why I’m fighting so hard against this ... thing ... with Miles.

He lives in a world where everything is as it seems. Bringing him into a web of lies feels like the most unkind thing I could do.

I just don’t know that I’m going to be able to hold out, because the desire just keeps growing, no matter how much I tell myself it’s a bad idea.