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thirty-three

Penelope

“ I don’t have the book,” I repeat.

“We know you have it,” Anthony says with frustration. “Edward would’ve had a contingency, and he told me where the book was, but it wasn’t there. You were the only one he would’ve said anything to.”

Playing dumb is what I’m going for as long as I can. All day they’ve asked the same things, and I’ve given the same answers.

“I don’t have this book you keep talking about. I don’t even know what kind of a book? I mean, maybe I have it and I don’t know? Maybe I took it when I left Edward—by accident.”

Anthony’s jaw clenches. “Penelope, don’t play games. I really would hate to bring your son in here and see if we can make you talk.”

My stomach drops. I hoped I could keep this up for at least another day, but if ... if they hurt him. If they threaten to hurt him ... I can’t do it. I ... I can’t.

I do my best to school my emotions and shake my head. “Why? He doesn’t know anything, and I don’t either. Why are you doing this? Why?”

A hard slap across my face causes my head to whip to the side. Fuck, that hurt. Immediately my hand flies to the spot the bodyguard hit.

“You know why! ”

I rub the tender skin, biting back the tears. My time is running out. I’m not going to be able to stall much more, and I’m terrified.

They’ll use Kai.

I know they will.

“You keep saying you want this book, but you won’t tell me anything about it.”

The senator, who has been quiet through the entire process, pushes off the desk and walks toward me and turns to his bodyguard. “Let’s show some restraint and not hit a woman, shall we?”

Good cop.

Bad cop.

Got it.

I tense as he grows near. “I’m not going to hit you.”

I try to appear relaxed, but I’m anything but that. I’m terrified, and I know that I’m nearing the end of being able to stall until my brother or Miles realizes what’s happened. I’ve tried my best, but I don’t know how else to delay this.

For six years I’ve run, and this is when I finally have nowhere else to go.

“This is ridiculous!” Anthony bellows. “The bitch knows. She knew everything from the start. We should kill her and the kid and get it over with. She’s a liability. Let’s get rid of the loose ends and be done.”

The senator sighs and shakes his head. “I don’t enjoy killing women and children.”

He scoffs. “No, you just like to use them to gain the power you want.”

The senator’s eyes get hard and his jaw tightens. “And you don’t?”

“I’m not a wolf in sheep’s clothing. I’m well aware of the monster I am,” Anthony spits back. “Now let’s get this shit over with or I’ll do whatever I have to, because I have business to attend to. If you don’t have the balls to handle her, then I will, and I’ll handle you as well.”

Anthony starts to move toward me, but the senator lifts a hand and signals with two fingers, and before I can turn and shield my eyes, the bodyguard pulls a gun out with a silencer and shoots Anthony.

I gasp and feel like I’m going to be sick. Oh God, he just killed Anthony. Right there. Shot him like it was nothing.

Oh God.

I start to tremble, and the senator looks to me. “I’m sorry you had to witness that, but I don’t appreciate threats, and he was a liability.”

I nod, fear causing all my limbs to shake. I try not to look at the dead man on the floor. I focus on the senator’s face as tears leak down my cheeks.

“I don’t have your book,” I say, my voice barely a whisper.

It’s true. I don’t have it.

He sighs heavily. “We went over every inch of Edward’s office. We went through his home, your apartment, and anywhere else he spent time. Then I found a note in a file that was hidden. It just had your name and the word ... book. I haven’t gotten to the place I am by being stupid. I’ve amassed wealth and power by being smart and calculating. Why would Edward leave something like that? Why would he point the finger at you and name the one thing he knew we’d want?”

“Because he was a sick asshole. He would hit me and he knew I was leaving him.”

“Or ... he told you where the book was if anything happened to him.”

That’s exactly what he did. While I may not have wealth and power, I’m also not stupid. I gave the book to my brother because I knew at some point I’d need it as a bargaining chip.

I try once again to be stupid about the book, knowing the sand in the hourglass is running out.

“He wouldn’t. He didn’t trust me or even like me. I was a toy to him, and he wouldn’t give me information. If anything, he kept me in the dark about everything he did.”

It’s true. I didn’t learn about Edward’s illegal dealings until much further in our relationship. There were no signs that the money he made came from illegal gambling, drugs, and backdoor deals that he was paid off to keep quiet. To be honest, I didn’t care to ask. He lulled me into a false sense of trust.

I didn’t get the rug pulled out until it was much too late.

The senator shakes his head, walking around. “If you truly know nothing, why did you run?”

“Because he was dead.”

“And that upset you?”

I scoff. “Not in the least.”

“So you didn’t call the cops? You just chose to pack your belongings and spend your life on the run? That doesn’t make much sense, Penelope. Here’s what I think. You’re a smart girl and knew what he was up to. You also knew about the book, because Edward needed insurance and a way to barter for his life. Just as you do now. So you have or had the book, and when you realized he was dead, you set into motion your plan of spending your life in hiding. It worked, much better than I could’ve ever thought.”

Every word of what he says is true, and I keep my features schooled, but inside I’m freaking out.

I shake my head.

“You have it or at least know where it is, so let’s stop the charades,” he says, coming to crouch in front of me. “I’ve been patient and let this go on long enough. However, I have a plane to catch, so we’re going to speed this up.” He jerks his head, and a minute later the door opens as they bring Kai in.

“Mommy!”

I gasp, trying to stand, but I’m grabbed and shoved down. “Please don’t hurt my son,” I beg, tears falling rapidly as I stare at my little boy. My innocent child who did nothing wrong. His decisions didn’t bring him to this—mine did. “Please,” I say again.

Kai’s eyes are on me, and the fear shines so bright and I feel so much pain in my chest that I can’t breathe.

God, I hate this. I hate that he will have felt a moment of fear because of me.

“Tell us where the book is, Penelope, and no one will get hurt.”

The lie wraps around me, shattering me to my core. The moment they have that book is the moment I will draw my last breath .

Time is up.

The last piece of sand has fallen and I have to save Kai.

I look into the senator’s eyes, knowing that there is no more I can do, but give him what he wants. “Kai goes back to the other room,” I say firmly. “He isn’t here or hurt. Do you understand?”

He nods once.

“I want to talk to him,” I say pleadingly.

I have to say goodbye.

The senator waves his hand. “Bring the boy to his mother.”

Kai is released and runs to me, his arms wrapping around my neck as I cry into his. This is goodbye for us. How do I do this? How can I say goodbye to him? My heart is not only broken, it’s shattered. I’ve failed as a mother.

I’ve failed in every way.

With strength I didn’t know I had, I release him, pulling his face to look only at mine. “Everything is going to be okay, baby.”

I lie to him, needing him to see me this way. That I was strong and unafraid. He needs to know that I did this for him. To save him because he’s worth my own life. He’s worth more.

“Mommy.” His voice breaks, but I force a smile.

I rub my thumb along his cheek and then brush his hair back. “I love you more than anything in this world, you know that, right?” He nods. “You are smart, and kind, and everything good. I am so proud of you.” It’s as though someone is punching a hole through my chest, but I soldier on. I need him to know how much I love him.

“I love you too,” he says, his eyes swimming with tears.

“Don’t be scared. Just know that no matter what you’re going to be okay, and I am always going to be with you.” I sniff and kiss his nose. “You are never alone, my sweet boy. If you close your eyes, I’ll be right there, in your heart, guiding you wherever you need to go.” I hiccup on the last word. He has to survive this. He has to be okay, because I’ll lay down my life now, if it means he has a choice. I suck in a breath, rubbing his beautiful face, memorizing every curve. “Now you have to go back in the other room and stay there, okay?”

He shakes his head so fast. “No, no, I want to stay with you!”

“I know, but I need to talk to some people, and it’s an adult conversation,” I try to explain. “Can you be brave for Mommy? ”

I stare into Kai’s warm eyes, the ones that mirror my own, and pray the rest of my plan will work—for his sake.

Kai’s jaw trembles, and tears fall down his face, so I clutch him to my chest once more, sending all the love I have for him in this embrace, needing him to feel it, to know deep in his heart that no matter what, his mother loved him.

Everything I did was to keep him safe, and I’ll do it now too.

I force air in my lungs, gathering the little strength I have left, and pull him back. “Go with them. You’ll be safe and it’ll work out.”

Kai cries as the other man pulls him from me. He’s kicking and screaming, and I watch him, trying to calm him with my eyes, but I can’t. He wails and I cry harder as soon as he’s away from me. I bury my face in my hands, despair and sadness coming like waves, drowning me in a sea of grief.

Minutes go by, and my tears don’t stop until Kai’s quiet. Even after he finally settles and I can’t hear him, I cry because I can do nothing else.

I think about all I’ve lost. My son. My family. My home and the man I love.

I’ll never see Miles again. I won’t get to tell him how much I love him and we wanted to live with him.

I replay our first date. The way he packed the food up and left so we could get Kai. The first time we made love and his tenderness. The moments when he made me feel safe, loved, and important. He would’ve been the one. I know it in every fiber of my being.

I wanted to make Ember Falls my home, because Miles is my sanctuary.

The life we could’ve built fades into the background.

I thought I knew heartbreak before, but it was nothing compared to this. To lose both of my loves in one moment.

A hand touches my shoulder and I gasp, looking up into the senator’s eyes. “It’s time to talk.”

Before I can say a word, a door flies open and the bodyguard lifts his gun. When I turn to see who it is, my stomach drops.

“Miles,” I breathe, and pain tears through me for a whole new reason, because in his hand is the fucking book.