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Penelope

“ M om, do you think I can have a dad again ever?” Kai asks as we’re on the way to Prose & Perk.

Thankfully, my reflexes keep me from veering off the road.

“A dad?”

He nods. “I was thinking it would be good to have one.”

“You were?”

Apparently I’m unable to do anything but ask questions to each statement.

“But my dad died,” Kai says with a mix of sadness and longing.

Oh, how much I wish I could take it away for him.

At first my brother and I argued about how much to tell Kai. He’s a kid and I really didn’t want to burden him with the truth about his father. While I may not speak to my parents anymore, I had a great childhood where I felt safe and loved, at least when I was living the way they expected me to.

Kai never would have that. He will never know the love of a two-parent home. Regardless of the fact that Edward VanderGroef was a monster and I didn’t want him anywhere near us. I do hate it for Kai, though.

Quinn felt I was doing more harm by keeping him completely in the dark. After about thirty minutes of back-and-forth and more tears than I care to admit, I agreed. Kai needed to know his father was gone, because if he was approached by anyone asking questions, he had to be prepared.

“Where is this coming from?” I ask.

“A dad would know how to lace my skates and teach me how to hit the puck. You’re cool, Mom, but you don’t know that stuff.”

No, I don’t. “Not all dads know that, though.”

“Coach Miles does. He’s super cool. He even played hockey in college, and he knows how to do all that stuff.”

Oh, this is going to go great. “Then it’s a really good thing he’s your coach, because he can help you with all that stuff, without being your dad.”

“Ethan said that he’s the coolest uncle ever. That he always comes to his house and he plays games and sneaks him things that he’s not supposed to have.”

I smile. “Like all good uncles and aunts do. Uncle Quinn does that for you too.”

He sighs. “Yeah, but I don’t get to see Uncle Quinn all the time.”

I reach my hand back and take his. “I know, but it would be really hard if I met someone who I could actually like and then we had to leave. I think, for right now, it’s best if it’s just the two of us. Am I cool enough to maybe try to learn about hockey skates and hitting the puck?”

Kai sighs heavily, as though I’ve just asked him to do math homework. “I guess. Maybe one day I can have another dad, though?”

“Maybe one day, baby.”

Maybe one day we won’t have to worry about the fact that I’m worth more dead than alive. Maybe one day we will be able to have a home, a life, a family that I want just as much as it seems Kai does.

I can hope.

But for now I need to be realistic, and that means working and letting my brother and the team he has do what they can to protect us and keep searching for answers that will allow us to be free from the people hunting us.

“Ethan says it’s great having a dad.”

A tear forms and I do my best to stop it from falling. “I’m sorry, Kai. I really am. I know it’s hard for you.”

He shrugs and looks out the window. “I hate the rules. ”

“I hate them too.”

The rules are the worst part of our life even though there are only four that must be kept. I’ve drilled them into Kai.

Do not talk to strangers. Ever.

Never post anything on the internet.

Don’t tell anyone our real names or where we live.

If someone ever says he knew his dad, he should scream and find help.

“Do you think the bad people will find us?” he asks, almost absently.

Every single day I worry about it, but my only concern is staying alive and away from the men who killed Edward.

We pull into the back parking lot of Prose & Perk, and I turn to face him with a smile and do my best to reassure him.

“No, honey, I think Uncle Quinn and his friends are doing everything to keep us safe, and it’s why we got to come to Ember Falls, because it was the best place he could find. It’s why we follow the rules, because we don’t want to move again, right?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

My phone rings in my back pocket, and I see my brother’s name on the screen. I turn to Hazel. “Do you mind if I step out and take this call?”

She shakes her head. “Of course not, you’re due for a break.”

“Thank you!”

Seriously, she’s the best employer I’ve ever had.

I walk into the back area, where I can see Kai but he can’t hear me. “Hey, is everything okay?” I ask, my heart already beating faster.

“Yes, everything is fine. This is a check-in.” He chuckles. “Hello, my darling sister, Penelope.”

“Hello, Quinn.”

My brother is literally my knight in shining armor, or maybe my knight in camouflage with a gun. Either one works.

“How are things?”

“Well, today your nephew gave me the scare of a lifetime. ”

“Oh?”

I fill him in on the adventure walk he took and how it shaved about ten years off my life. I’ve never, ever, felt that kind of terror before. I was sure someone took them. I screamed and screamed, tears running down my face. The worst part was, I didn’t do any of the things my brother told me to do if this ever happened.

“Why didn’t you call me?” Quinn’s voice is hard, and I know he’s reining back his anger.

“Because, in that moment, I froze.”

He sighs heavily and then my sister-in-law, Ashton, is suddenly on the phone. “Hey, Pen.”

“Hey, Ash.”

“Your brother is starting to turn red, so I figured it was best I take the phone before I had to rip it out of his hand and lecture him for an hour about not yelling at you. Anyway, I miss you tons. How are you?”

“I’m okay. I’m at work now.”

“Oh! The coffee place! How do you like it?” Ashton asks.

I tell her about Hazel and how much I like working here. She lets me bring Kai to work and he hangs out in the back area, which is set up like a living room. Hazel was raised by a single mom and understands how hard things were.

“That’s amazing. I really hope you guys stay there for a bit. Is Kai liking it?”

“He loves it here. I know it’s only been a few weeks, but he’s honestly the happiest I’ve seen him. He met a friend, Ethan, and some other boys from the hockey clinic. His anxiety is already better. I just ... I hate the idea that this ...”

Ashton cuts me off. “Hey, don’t think that way. We have no idea what the future holds. Your brother and the guys at Cole Security are working really hard. Trust in that.”

“I do.”

There’s no one in the world I trust more than Quinn and his friends. Jackson, Mark, Quinn, and Liam have all come to my aid more than once. They’ve done it without question or compensation. I will never take the fact that I have any of them for granted. Not every woman in my situation has the same privilege .

“Good. We’re going to come visit next week as long as everything checks out.”

I really hope they can. Being alone is something I’ve learned to accept, but I hate it. More than just for myself, I hate it for Kai. I want him to have the experiences I did. Where we went on vacations with our aunts and uncles, cousins multiplied each year, and you never felt alone.

Instead, he has a life where we are constantly moving and changing our names.

Some days I feel like I’ve failed as a mother to give my son the life he deserves.

“I’ll keep my fingers crossed.” I look down at my watch. “My break is just about up. Tell Quinn I love him and kiss my handsome nephew for me.”

Ashton laughs. “I’ll do both. Be safe, and hopefully we’ll be in town next week.”

“Sounds good.”

I hang up and go to where Kai is watching a video of some guy playing a game online. “Hey, bud, are you doing okay?”

He smiles up at me. “Yup.”

“Good. I’m going back out there. Just pop your head in if you need me.”

Kai turns, going back to his video. I seriously question what in the world is fun about that, but he loves it. He has three gamers he watches religiously and says they’re far superior to the others. Whatever that means.

When I get out into the store, Miles, Lachlan, Ainsley, and Everett are pushing through the door.

My heart pounds just a little faster at the sight of Miles. He’s wearing a tight shirt with basketball shorts, and his skin looks slightly bronzed from the sun. The way his dark-brown hair is pushed back is so freaking sexy and makes me want to run my fingers through it.

Which is dumb.

There will be no finger running in any man’s hair. Much less Miles’s.

I force a smile and walk toward them. “Hey, guys. ”

“Penny!” Everett calls my name boisterously. “How is my favorite barista?”

Hazel snorts. “You are a fickle man, Everett Finnegan. You do realize that I make your coffee most days?”

He leans against the counter. “Yes, but Penny is much nicer.”

“She hasn’t realized what a jackass you are—yet.”

I laugh softly. “The yet on the end tells me it’s coming.”

He winks. “Don’t let her scare you, love. I’m the favorite.”

“Oh, please,” Miles says, shaking his head. “You’re not even close.”

Everett stands up, jutting his chin at his friend. “And you are?”

Miles’s gaze meets mine and I feel warmth down to my toes. “I think Penny knows I’m a good guy. I’m coaching hockey, I return missing things, and I’m much better looking.”

I fight back my laugh, but Everett is unable to let that go without jumping in. “Well, we both know that last part is a lie. Penny, which one of us is hotter?”

I lift both hands. “I’m not entering this fight.”

“Come on, we need to know,” Miles says with a smirk. “You can tell him the truth.”

This is never going to end well. “Fine, I think that Lachlan is the best looking,” I say, grinning at Ainsley.

“I second it. Motion passed,” Ainsley jumps in, saving me from this fight.

“Now, what can I get you guys?”

Ainsley, Lachlan, and Everett get their normal coffee orders, and then it’s Miles’s turn.

All eyes turn to him and I feel like I’m missing something. “Miles?”

He sighs heavily. “What do you recommend?”

I blink a few times. “I’m not sure how to answer that. Everything is good, and we can adjust the flavors however you’d like.”

“Okay, how about the most un-coffee-tasting coffee.”

“Umm, is there such a thing?” I ask.

“He hates coffee,” Hazel notes as she’s leaning against the counter beside me.

My eyes widen a bit. “You hate coffee?”

Miles shrugs. “It’s not my favorite.”

That’s weird because he comes here all the time. Yeah, he gets tea and a snack, but he could definitely get those at home or at the bakery down the street since that’s where we get the baked goods from.

“Have you tried all the different kinds?” I ask.

Miles clears his throat. “I have not.”

“Then maybe you just haven’t had the right kind.”

Hazel practically squeals beside me. “Yes! A tasting. Penelope, let’s get creative.”