twenty-six

Miles

D oug is standing outside his house, arms crossed. “What’s going on?”

I don’t know what to tell him, but if there’s anyone in this world who can help, it’s him. “It’s Penelope.”

“Okay . . .”

“There’s something that I can’t fully say.”

He nods once. “I’m going to assume it’s bad.”

“It is. I’m worried for her safety.”

Doug watches me carefully. “What do you need from me?”

“I’m not even sure, but she needs to be protected until I can figure out who wants to hurt her.”

“Consider it done.”

There are people in this world that you know you can call at midnight on a Tuesday who will answer and be ready to fight, just because you asked. Doug is that person.

Just the same as I am for him.

“Thank you.”

He shakes his head. “You’d do the same. What’s your plan?”

I run my fingers through my hair and pace. “I don’t have one yet. I don’t even have the full fucking information. I guess that’s step one. I need to know who and what exactly has her scared.”

“So she’s on the run from something?” he asks. “I only say that because it all seemed weird to me. Someone just randomly picks Ember Falls? She had no ties here, just a desire to be a barista in a small coffee shop? I was suspicious, but I’m also built this way.”

“You mean we were formed to be this way,” I say, sighing heavily.

“True. It’s done us well, though.”

It has. Right now, more than ever. “Yes, but I wish I had all the tools I needed, and it’s been so long since we were in, there’s this feeling like I can’t do anything. I can’t provide her with the safety she’s so desperately seeking.”

Doug sits on the step at the edge of the porch. “Maybe she doesn’t need that. Maybe she has that already; she just needs you to be there for her.”

“She basically told me, in no uncertain terms, that she’s going to have to leave at some point and she won’t even come to me.”

He falls silent for a minute, and then I sit next to him, a heaviness in my chest that won’t weaken.

“You love her.”

“Yes.”

He grins. “Knew it would happen someday. You with all your bullshit about not wanting kids or a family. Then you fell in love with a girl who would give you both.”

“I love him too, you know? Kai is a great kid and he’s a part of her,” I confess.

“Which probably makes it easy for her to love you back.”

If she loved me, she’d give me a fucking chance to protect her. She’d tell me everything so I wasn’t fighting in the dark with a blindfold on, swinging aimlessly. I could narrow in, focus, and be the man she needs.

“Not enough.” The two words fall out, settling dread through me.

Doug inhales deeply and lets it out through his nose. “You’ve always had this issue, Miles.”

“What?”

“You think, just because you’re you and you’re smart and have always been able to accomplish the things you set your mind to, that things will just happen. If they don’t happen the way you want them, then there’s some reason. Sometimes the things we don’t know are because we’re not meant to at that time. Look, I have never questioned your leadership, but when that mission went bad, you blamed yourself over and over because you acted on that intel.”

I fall silent, waiting for the anger that I deserve. When it doesn’t come, I say the only words I can. “I believed them.”

“And we did too. If I really doubted it, I mean to my bones, I would’ve fought you. I didn’t because you were always good at being patient. It was me who would jump off, and you’d rein me in. That didn’t happen that day, and when I looked back, I blamed myself more than anything.”

I turn to look at him, my eyes wide as I take that last statement in. “Blamed yourself, for what?”

“For not saying anything. That day, you were like a caged animal. You thought if we’d provided the information, then nothing bad would happen. We all went into that mission without proper planning. You’re like that right now.”

No. No, I’m just ... worried.

I just don’t want to lose her. I don’t want anything to happen to her. “All I want is to protect her and Kai. To make sure that nothing ever makes her scared again.”

“So why aren’t you with her right now? Why are you outside my house in the middle of the night, ready to fight some invisible threat?”

“You’d be the same if it were Eloise.”

“Probably, but I’d be sitting outside your house, and you’d be telling me to go to her, comfort her, be the man she can come to if she needs you so she never wants to leave. I’ll reach out to some guys I know and do what I can. Go back to Penelope, Miles. Give her every reason to run to you instead of away.”

Doug stands, clasps my shoulder, and heads inside.

I sit here for a few seconds, wondering when my friend became so wise, but knowing every word he said is true.

After another second, I’m in my truck and driving back to Penelope.

The light is on in her bedroom, and I see her moving around. I head over, knocking twice on her window. I see her jump and then look out. Her shoulders slouch slightly when she sees it’s me.

Penelope slides the window up and waits. “Why are you here?”

“Will you let me in?”

She chews on her lower lip.

“Please, Penny, let me come in.”

She releases a heavy breath and nods. I head over to the door, and the lock clicks open before I see her standing there in sweatpants, her hair in some weird haphazard mess on the top of her head, eyes red rimmed and puffy.

“I made you cry,” I say, stepping toward her.

She retreats and I swear, my heart breaks from that one step. “No, you made me realize what I knew all along.”

“And that is?”

“That I can’t do this. That loving you was going to break my heart.”

“It’s not. You were right.”

Her eyes widen. “What?”

“I have to decide if I can handle what you can offer me.”

Penelope places her hand over her chest. “And?”

I move closer, and this time she doesn’t retreat. “I will take any and everything you can give me. Even a small part of what we have is worth any possible heartbreak. I love you, Penelope. I love you and Kai, and I won’t give up this time in fear of what may come. I’ll stand beside you and in front of any danger that comes your way. I’ll fight your past because I want your future.”

She swipes at a tear before it can fall. “And if I have to leave tomorrow?”

“I pray you won’t, but then I want tonight.”

I take another step, and she lifts her head to look at me. “You came back.”

“I never planned to leave you,” I confess. “All we have is here and now, Penelope. I don’t want to worry about anything else.”

Every part of me wants to beg her to stay with me. To be with me as much as she can. If I can show her that I’ll be her safe place, maybe she’ll make other choices .

Her hands lift to rest on my chest. “I’ll be right back.”

“What?”

“I need to make a phone call.”

My brow lifts. “Okay? It’s almost two in the morning.”

She nods. “I know, but I decided that staying is worth it. You’re worth it. Even if I might have to leave, I want all the days I can have now.”

Penelope lifts up and kisses me, and I vow I’m going to do whatever I have to in order to keep her with me for as long as I can.