Page 9 of Heartstruck

Jared

I walk through campus, HUMBLE by Kendrick Lamar blasting in my headphones; the bass drowning out the whispers and giggles that seem to follow me everywhere I go.

It’s not like I’m trying to be unapproachable, I just want to focus on the season and get through my day without feeling like I’m the newest iPhone.

Today’s a prime example of how out of control things have gotten. The receptionist gives me a sympathetic look as she hands over the card for yet another delivery. “Another gift.”

“Sorry, Ms. Sinclair,” I say, my eyes landing on the gift. It’s a massive teddy bear with a heart-shaped pillow that reads: From Chelsea.

I mentally groan as I read the card. I met Chelsea at a party when I first transferred. She’s nice and cute, but I’m just not interested. I shove the card into my backpack with a sigh. The gifts, the messages—it’s overwhelming and, honestly, kind of annoying.

“Can I have this teddy bear?” My teammate, Chase, asks once he walks up behind me. “For Haley.”

I give him a playful shove. “Get your own gift.”

He raises his eyebrows, eyeing the bear like it's the Holy Grail. “You don’t even want it. Let it go to a good cause. Haley’s happiness.”

I roll my eyes. “I donate half the stuff they give me anyway, so either way, it’s going somewhere.”

Chase chuckles, then pats me understandingly on the back. “Fair point. But seriously, man, how do you get all this stuff?”

“Who knows?”

Reluctantly, I stuff the teddy bear into his bag, accepting its fate, and head to practice with him.

The rhythm of our footsteps on the pavement mirrors my scattered thoughts.

Once in the locker room, the familiar scent of sweat and turf grounds me.

Out on the field, I try to focus on the drills, but Alli’s words keep lingering.

Why would she be so resistant to fake dating? It seemed like a simple solution to me.

I push myself harder in practice, trying to channel the frustration and confusion into something productive.

But it doesn’t work; every sprint, every pass, brings me back to that moment by the fire.

Maybe she thinks it would be too complicated, or she’s worried about what people would say.

We’ve always been close, but not like that.

Friends since middle school, sure, but I’ve never seen her look at me the way she did last night.

And now I can’t stop wondering if there’s something more to her reluctance.

Or maybe it’s me. Maybe she doesn’t trust me enough or still doesn’t forgive me for the shit we went through in high school.

The thought stings more than I’d like to admit.

As practice winds down, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m missing something, a key piece of this puzzle. I need to talk to her to get inside her head. This isn’t just about a fake relationship anymore; there’s something deeper at play, something that’s been building for a while.

And I need to figure out what it is.

I shoot off a quick text to my sister.

Me: where’s alli

Serena: ???

Me: just tell me

Me: i promise to buy you the bookshelf you’ve been wanting AND i’ll even build it during winter break

Serena: the one with the lamp?!

Me: yeah, that ugly white one

Serena: ok, deal!

Serena: alli doesn’t have night classes, so she should be at the library

Me: which one?

Serena: …

Serena: i’m not sure? she likes to study at different ones

Me: sister, we have like six libraries on campus

Serena: ok and?

Me: i’m not about to run through campus looking for her

Serena: you’re the one who asked where she is and i told you

Serena: that’s as far as my services go

Serena: i don’t keep track of which library she goes to

Serena: that’s what you get for calling my shelf ugly

I let out a frustrated sigh, rubbing the back of my neck as I weigh my options. With how spread out everything is, running and stopping at each library would be a nightmare. And there’s no way I have the energy to trek up that damn steep hill to the science library.

I slip my phone into my pocket and adjust the straps of my bag as I head out. My mind races, swirling with the things I need to say to her—how to even begin the conversation. It’s not like I can just walk up and say, “Hey, why really don’t you want to fake date me?”

That would probably go over like a lead balloon.

Third library stop, and I’m out of breath. I don’t know what’s more energy consuming, this or being tackled by two linebackers weighing two hundred pounds each. I lean against the door, trying to catch my breath.

Maybe I should invest in a bike to get me around.

I scan the study tables and quiet corners looking for Alli. I start weaving through the rows of bookshelves and study desks, hoping this is the one so I don’t have to climb Mount Everest.

I notice a familiar face from across the room.

It’s one of the girls who’s been a little too persistent with the attention lately, Kelly.

We share an Anatomy class, and on the occasions when I’m running late after my morning workout, we end up sitting next to each other.

Our classmate friendship started off simple: a casual “hey, how are you” and “goodbye” when class ends.

But just two weeks in, she started passing me notes…

love letters, actually. Now, we’re only a month or so into the semester, and she’s already confessed her growing feelings towards me.

I’ve been trying to let her down gently, giving subtle hints that I’m not interested, but she doesn’t seem to be getting the message.

Kelly catches my eye and smiles, waving enthusiastically. I inwardly groan, trying to avoid eye contact, but it’s too late. She starts heading in my direction, her eyes lighting up as if she’s just stumbled upon the Powerball winnings.

As she gets closer, I’m already mapping out my exit strategy. Fake a phone call? Emergency appointment? Anything to steer clear of an awkward chat with Kelly and figuring out where Alli might be.

Before I can even duck and hide, a petite body bumps into me.

“Oof.”

I glance down, feeling a rush of relief as I spot her. “Hey, I’ve been trying to track you down.”

Alli raises an eyebrow, continuing toward the study tables, and I follow her. “Why?”

“Just want to talk.”

She doesn’t answer, just keeps walking, or maybe she’s ignoring me. We reach a table with scattered textbooks and what I can only assume is her laptop. The buzz of conversation and the clatter of keyboards resound through the air around us.

Nearby, Kelly pulls out a chair, her eyes alight with expectation and something I can’t explain. I glance toward Alli, hoping for an out, but Kelly’s so focused on me it’s almost impossible to think straight.

I drop into the seat next to Alli, smirking as her eyes flick to me before she rolls them. “Who said you could sit here?”

“Me, myself, and I.”

“Well, you can two-step right out of here. I have a paper to write.” She glances around, spotting Kelly. “Maybe she’ll make better company.”

“Alli, let’s talk.”

“Let’s not,” she snaps, flipping her textbook open. “I’m busy, Jared. We can talk later.”

I lean back, feigning hurt. “Come on. I’m just here to support you. Like a study buddy.”

She raises an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. “You don’t even know what I’m studying.”

“True, but I’ve got a lot of useless trivia in my head,” I counter. “For example, what was the War of 1812 about?”

“You’re actually asking me that?”

“Yep. I can be your guy on trivia night,” I say with a convincing grin. “I promise to be as quiet as a ninja otherwise.”

Alli rests a finger on her chin as if she’s thinking, then shakes her head, “No deal.”

Before I can get another word in, a chirpy voice chimes in next to our table, and I mentally facepalm.

“Hey, Jared!” Kelly greets, her tone a bit too chipper. She shoots a glance at Alli, then back at me, her smile brightening. “Oh, hi, Alli. Didn’t expect to see you here.”

Alli gives her a polite nod, the smile on her face a little too tight to be genuine. “Hi, Kelly. How’s it going?”

“Good, good,” Kelly tucks a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear before giving me a shy smile. “Do you have a second to talk, Jared?”

Oh God, no.

Thinking quickly, I decide to steer the conversation away from brewing awkwardness. “I would need to check with my girlfriend.”

I turn my attention to Alli, silently giving her signals to follow along before Kelly serenades me in the library like we’re in High School Musical.

Alli’s eyes widen for half a second, like she didn’t expect that move, but she recovers fast, slipping back into calm, collected mode. She tilts her head, all polite but no-nonsense.

“We really need to get this project done,” she says, her voice taking on that teacher’s had-enough tone. Then she glances at Kelly with a quick, almost apologetic smile. “Maybe another time?”

Kelly’s smile falters, the corners of her lips twitching before she nods. “Oh, right. No problem. I’ll catch you later then, Jared.”

Once she’s out of earshot, I let out a quiet sigh of relief, glancing at Alli with a grateful look, while her eyes stay glued to her textbook, but the way she keeps flipping the same page back and forth tells me her curiosity’s about to spill over.

Finally, she snaps her book shut and looks up, annoyance practically radiating off her.

“Okay, seriously, what was that? I already told you I’m not interested.”

I lean back, feigning nonchalance. “You heard how Kelly was talking to me,” I say, shrugging. “Thought it’d be easier if we just pretended to be a thing.”

“Just tell her no and that you aren’t interested directly instead of lying.” She raises an eyebrow, unconvinced. “And you think fake dating will help?”

I try to keep my tone light, even though I’m starting to feel the impending doom of the situation. “Look, I’m not asking you to be my real girlfriend. It’s just a temporary fix. Plus, if you help me out here, I owe you a big favor.”

“You would owe me?”

I nod, leaning in slightly. “Whatever you want. You name it.”

Alli sighs, rubbing her forehead like she’s trying to will the frustration away. “I spilled coffee on Ethan again.”

I snort, quickly pretending to cough to cover it up. “Did you want me to do his laundry, or is that pushing it?”

“No,” she replies with a hint of frustration.

“But remember what you said? That you’d help me out if I needed it?

Well, I really think I do now. Just the other day, someone asked for my number in the quad, and I was so stunned I couldn’t even speak.

I just ran back to my apartment and tried to slap some sense into myself. ”

“It couldn’t have been that bad.”

“Jared, you’ve known me for years. When have I ever had this much of a confidence issue?

I used to be the one giving dating advice, not needing it.

” She rubs her face with both hands, letting her shoulders fall.

“But now, every time I try to talk to someone, my mind goes blank and I end up feeling like an idiot.”

I see the genuine frustration and embarrassment in her eyes, and I can tell this isn’t just about a favor. She’s dealing with something real. This is a big deal to her.

“Alright, I get it. I’m asking for a favor, and I’m willing to help you in return. It’ll just be a fake dating thing, nothing serious. No strings attached, no feelings involved. We keep it simple and end it when we no longer need it. Sound good to you?”

Alli hesitates, her frustration slowly giving way to resignation. “Yeah. Deal.”

“Deal.”

Alli gives a nod, still looking a bit unsure but willing to give it a shot.

I can’t help but feel a rush of excitement at how weirdly fitting this arrangement is, even if it’s all for show.

We’re treading into uncharted territory.

There’s too much unsaid, and something tells me this will change everything, whether we’re ready or not.