Page 7 of Heartstruck

Jared

The smell of freshly brewed coffee hits me as soon as I walk into Study Brew café, instantly lifting my spirits.

This place is my go-to spot for studying, catching up on assignments, or just getting a break from campus life.

I scan the room, finding it packed with students hunched over laptops and textbooks.

It’s the usual scene for a Sunday afternoon.

I stroll to the counter, the faint sounds of conversation around me, and order my usual matcha latte.

As I wait for my coffee, my eyes land on Alli tucked in a corner booth, her head buried in a textbook, a half-empty cup of coffee at her side. Dark circles shadow her eyes, and I wonder if she’s still shaken from last night.

When my name is called, I grab my coffee, but before I can walk away, impulse takes over. I turn back to the barista and order something extra, not entirely sure why.

“Hey,” I say, placing the caramel latte down in front of her. “Working hard?”

Alli looks up, raising her eyebrows in surprise. “How’d you know I’m a caramel latte person?”

I slide into the seat across from her, setting my stuff down with a quiet thud before pulling out my books. “Junior year, you’d always come to class late but with a caramel latte in hand.”

“I needed my daily caffeine,” she says with a casual shrug, like it’s the most natural excuse in the world.

“Yeah, it was definitely your signature move.”

Alli’s worry eases as she brings the cup to her lips, taking a slow sip. “Thanks, Jared.”

“No problem,” I reply, feeling a hint of warmth rise to my cheeks. I quickly glance down at my notebook, pretending like it’s the most fascinating thing in the room. “So, what are you working on?”

“Just going over some anatomy notes,” she replies, gesturing to the textbook in front of her. “Trying to stay on top of things.”

“Same here,” I admit, flipping open to the chapter I need to review. My hands feel a little clammy, and I mentally curse myself for getting flustered. She’s just Alli, I remind myself. But today, she looks different, more relaxed, with a tender look in her eyes I never noticed before.

Every now and then, I sneak a glance at her. Her hair falls in gentle waves around her face, and she’s chewing on the end of her pen, lost in thought. I can’t help but think she’s pretty, ridiculously pretty. My heart skips a beat, and I look back down at my notebook, trying to refocus.

After a while, I stretch and take a break, sipping my matcha latte. “Any plans for the rest of the day?” I ask, keeping my voice casual, even though I’m secretly hoping for a little more time with her.

“Not really. Just more studying, I guess. You?”

“Pretty much the same,” I shrug, hoping she doesn’t notice the slight tremor in my hand. “Maybe hit the gym later.”

Alli raises an eyebrow, setting her pen down slowly. She’s onto me. “Quit the small talk, Jare-Bear. What do you want?”

I exhale dramatically at the nickname. I hated when she called me Jare-Bear in middle school. I still hate it. “We should talk about what happened.”

She pauses, her brows frowning slightly as she processes what I said.

“What happened on the beach. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“No bullshit.”

Her expression eases as she lets out a heavy sigh, dragging her hands down her face. “I don’t know.”

“What do you mean, you don’t know?” I ask, my voice low, pulling her attention back to me.

She peeks through her fingers at me. “I mean, I don’t know how to explain it. I’ve had anxiety attacks since freshman year. It’s the pressure, the projects, anything school-related, trying to balance a social life, and missing home. Everything just piles up, and sometimes it’s too much.”

“Alli—”

“No,” Alli says sharply. “I don’t need the lecture. I’m fine. I’m handling it.”

I let out a disbelieving laugh. “Handling it alone on the beach, crying your eyes out at midnight? That’s how you’re handling it?”

“It’s not the first time I’ve cried alone at the beach. And honestly, I really don’t want to talk about it, so can you not?”

Inside, I wince. Her words drag up a memory from the summer after high school sophomore year, when I was the one who made her cry during our camping trip. The realization stings, and it’s hard to swallow even now.

Alli and I share mutual friends, having grown up together and made countless memories since middle school.

After sophomore year, once we had our licenses, we decided to kick off summer and celebrate Lily Sok’s birthday with a camping trip at Carolina State Beach Park.

That weekend was a blur. Alli and I hooked up one night, and for a whole night, it felt so real between us.

But what started as something special quickly fell apart.

I messed things up, and it ended in a way that left both of us hurt.

I shake off the memory, forcing myself to focus on the present as I take a slow sip of my drink.

Alli keeps her gaze locked on her cup, avoiding mine.

Her earlier sharpness has faded, replaced by a quiet distance that feels impenetrable.

The silence between stretches uncomfortably until the bell over the café door chimes.

Ethan Díaz strides in, shattering the tension with his arrival.

Alli’s gaze shifts past me, and her entire body language changes. Her eyes widen slightly, and she straightens up, smoothing her hair with a nervous hand. I follow her line of sight and see Ethan making his way to the counter.

I tame a smirk, choosing to keep it to myself.

Ethan spots us and waves, his smile widening as he walks up to the table. “Hey, Jared. Hey, Alli, right?”

Alli gives Ethan a reserved wave, nodding in acknowledgment, but there’s something in her eyes that wasn’t there before. Something that wasn’t typical, Alli. Normally, she’d be teasing, holding her own in any conversation, but right now, she seems a little… off.

“Hey, Ethan,” I say, giving him a casual nod. “What’s up?”

Ethan slides into the seat next to me without asking, his energy as easygoing as ever. “Just grabbing some coffee before I hit the library. By the way, did you still need my Microbiology notes?”

I snap my fingers, remembering, and grab the folder Ethan lent me. “Thanks for this. The color-coded notes were a lifesaver.”

“Glad to hear that. Microbiology can be a beast, so I’m happy to help.”

“Order for Ethan!” The barista calls from the counter.

“I gotta head out.” Ethan says, grabbing his drink. “Catch you tomorrow.”

I raise two fingers in a quick salute. “Later.”

As he walks away, I catch Alli watching him, her gaze lingering just a second too long.

“You’re acting all shy now? Huh.” I tilt my head, watching her. “Could’ve fooled me. You two seem like old friends. Should I be worried?”

Alli's cheeks turn faintly pink as she looks away, staring into her coffee like it’s the most interesting thing in the world. “It’s nothing. I just… didn’t realize you two were so chummy.”

“You didn’t know? You seem awfully interested.”

“Not really,” she says, brushing it off, but her voice freezes just a fraction. “I mean, he’s nice and all. I just didn’t expect… that.”

I smirk, sensing her discomfort. “So, what’s the deal with Ethan? You into him or what?”

Her eyes widen. “N-no! It’s just… he’s… I don’t know. I guess I’m just surprised.”

I laugh softly, catching the hint of unease in her voice, but I don’t let up. “Alright, alright. But if you like him, maybe you should talk to him more. A simple hi would do.”

“It’s not that simple.” She says as her face turns a deeper shade of red, and she avoids my gaze.

I lean in slightly, eyebrow cocked. “Oh, now you’ve got me curious. Explain.”

She hesitates, then slowly exhales, arms crossed tightly over her chest—as per usual. “I’m not the same girl I was before.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I used to be… confident. But since I moved here, it’s like I don’t even recognize myself anymore.

My confidence just… disappeared, and I don’t know how to get it back.

” She pauses, lets her arms free, and her fingers skim the rim of her cup in slow circles.

“Even if I wanted to get to know him, I’d probably just freeze up and end up babbling like an idiot. ”

I breathe in, then smirk doubtfully. “So, you’re saying you’ve lost your touch?”

She gives an embarrassed shrug. “Something like that.”

I nod slowly, leaning in a little closer, my voice dropping to almost a whisper. “You know, if talking to him is really that tough, maybe we can make it work for both of us.”

I see her invisible antennas going off. “What are you talking about?”

I take a sip of my coffee, weighing my words carefully. “What if we pretend to be dating?”

She blinks. “Fake date each other? Why?”

I set my cup down slowly, my grin growing by the second. “Just hear me out. You need practice talking to guys, right? I can help. We pretend to date for a bit. You get the hang of it, and who knows? Maybe that confidence of yours comes back.”

Alli’s brows snap together, her face full of skepticism while letting out a quiet huff. I simply arch a brow in response. “Wait, you’re serious?”

“Totally,” I reply with a grin. “It’s a win-win situation.

You get to ease into talking to Ethan without the pressure, and I get a break from the constant attention.

We can come up with a story, make it believable, and keep it lowkey.

We’ll call it quits before winter break.

By that time, you and Ethan will be buddy-buddy, and he’ll be right there to comfort you through our tough breakup. ”

She leans back, her expression unreadable. “And you really think this will work?”

“Why not?” I shrug nonchalantly. “It’s not like we have anything to lose. And if it helps us both out, then it’s worth a shot.”

Alli’s eyes narrow as she mulls it over, then she just laughs in my face. “You’re actually serious.”

“Deadass.”

“Jared, it wouldn’t work.”

“Why not?” I shoot back, crossing my arms. “It’s foolproof.”

Alli laughs again and starts packing up her things. “The reason this”—she waves a hand between us—“wouldn’t work is because we don’t work well together. We tried, or at least, I tried.”

“Allison…”

She stands, throwing her bag over her shoulder. “It’s just… too complicated. We’re too complicated.”

I feel a hit of something… regret? Frustration? But I push it down before it can take hold.

“Just think about it, we’d be helping each other out. No strings attached, just two old friends doing each other a favor. I’m there for you, you’re there for me.”

She holds my gaze, her face giving nearly nothing away, and I think there’s the dimmest chance she might accept the idea. But then, she sighs, a small, resigned smile manifesting on her lips.

“Sorry, Jared, it’s a no. Thank you for checking in, but let’s just leave everything how it is.”

I watch her walk toward the door, the bell chiming as she leaves. I lean back in my chair, running a hand through my hair. This plan… it’s risky, but it could work. If anything, it’ll be a decent distraction from the chaos of college life.

I finish my drink and gather my stuff, feeling disappointed and rejected.

It didn’t go as planned, but what was I expecting?

Alli’s right, we’d never work—real or not.

I head out of the café, thinking about how things could have been different back then and now.

Who knows? Maybe there’s a reason things turned out this way.