Page 44 of Heartstruck

Jared

Even when I’m alone, she’s everywhere. In the spaces between my thoughts, in the quiet moments where I should be able to breathe.

My muscles ache from practice, my shoulders tight from the hits on the field. I could crash any second from exhaustion, mental and physical. Sleep would be the perfect escape.

I shut my eyes, letting the quiet settle around me.

Laughter drifts in from outside, muffled and carefree: my neighbors, probably enjoying their night as if the world isn’t falling apart. It’s faint, but it keeps me on the edge of sleep.

I shift, pulling the blanket over my shoulder, trying to force my body to relax. If I block it all out, I’ll fall asleep. That’s how it works, right?

But my mind won’t stop.

You need to fight for her, tell her what you need to, which is that you messed up. That you’re trying, but you need to be better for her.

Stop overthinking it, Jared.

I groan, flipping onto my stomach and burying my face into the pillow like I can smother the memory.

The front door creaks open; probably the guys coming back from their study session. Before I can even lift my head, the covers are yanked off me.

“Get up.”

I jolt upright, blinking at the sudden rush of cool air. “What the hell, Serena?” My voice is rough and groggy. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to knock some sense into you.” She stands at the foot of the bed, arms crossed, far too cocky for someone who just stole my blanket.

“You’ve been ignoring me all week when I needed you,” I snap, reaching for the blanket, but she pulls it back, holding it out of reach like I’m a child. “And I’m not moping.”

She raises an eyebrow, glancing at the empty can of Red Bull that rolls out from under the bed. “Huh,” she says, her tone dripping with sarcasm. “The official drink of not sulking.”

I scowl, crouching to grab it, only for the can to roll further away. “Maybe I just like Red Bull.”

“Right.” She smirks. “And maybe I’ll believe that when I see you drinking one at a party, instead of hoarding them in your cave of misery.”

I finally snatch the can and toss it toward the trash bin, missing entirely. “Why do you even care? You’ve been ghosting me, so spare me the lecture.”

Her smirk falters, but she recovers quickly, tossing the blanket aside. “I needed time to process everything.”

“You needed time?” I scoff, the words coming out harsher than I intend. “I didn’t realize you broke up with Alli too.”

Her expression hardens. “I’m allowed to feel things, too, Jared. You’re my brother. Alli’s my best friend. Imagine how it felt to find out you were dating each other, only to learn it was fake.” Her voice cracks on the last word, and guilt twists in my chest.

“I’m sorry, Ser.” I exhale slowly, the fight leaving me. “I didn’t think this would hurt you. I didn’t consider how it might feel to be stuck in the middle of something you didn’t even know was happening.”

“It’s not just that,” she says, her voice quieter, like she’s the one dealing with my heartbreak. “You two lied to me. The two most important people in my life lied to me.”

Her words hit harder than any tackle on the field. I never stopped to think about how this could hurt her or anyone else. This was all meant to be fake, something harmless to benefit us. The intention was there, but I never meant to fall for her best friend. Then fuck it all up.

“I’m sorry,” I say again.

She nods, brushing away the apology like she doesn’t know what to do with it. “I’m not here to rehash all of that. I’m here because you’re wallowing, and it’s pathetic.”

I blink at her, caught off guard by the sudden shift. “Excuse me?”

“You’ve been walking around all week pretending like everything’s fine.

Meanwhile, you’re ignoring Alli, your girl, by the way,” she says, emphasizing the last part.

“You hurt her, Jared. And I get it. You messed up. But the only way you’re going to fix this is if you stop hiding and start being honest with her. ”

“I’ve tried,” I admit, running a hand through my hair. “She won’t talk to me. I haven’t seen her on campus, not in the café, class, or the library. She’s avoiding me. The message is clear: she doesn’t want to talk to me.”

“Join the club,” Serena mutters under her breath.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Don’t worry about it.” She waves me off. “Alli and I will figure things out. But you? You need a plan. You’re stuck in your head, hoping she’ll forgive you. That’s not how this works. You need to show her you care. Really care.”

I shake my head, frustration bubbling to the surface. “What if it’s too late? What if she’s already done with me?”

“Then you do whatever it takes to show her you’re not done with her,” Serena says fiercely. She steps closer, then sits on the edge of the bed, patting my leg. “You’ve spent your whole life running when things get hard. Don’t let this be another thing you run from.”

Her words hit me like a ton of bricks.

“What if I mess it up again?”

“Then you pick yourself up and try again,” she says. “That’s what it means to fight for someone you love.”

Love. The word hangs in the air between us. The one word is enough for me to get off my ass.

“I’ll fix it,” I say strongly, surely.

“You better,” Serena commands, a hint of a smile playing on her lips. “Because if you don’t, you’ll have me to deal with.”

She heads toward the door, pausing just before she leaves. “By the way, you might want to consider cleaning up. You’re starting to smell like those empty Red Bull cans.” With a final chuckle, she slips out, the door clicking shut behind her.

The quiet settles over me again, but this time, it feels different. It’s not suffocating anymore. She’s right. If I want Alli —if I want us —I have to fight for it. Even if I’m scared. Even if it feels like I might fall apart trying.