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SILAS

A t midnight, we took a dip in the lake and ran back to the house to warm up. We messed up Damien’s sheets again, frotting until we were both too fucked out to move, and then we fell asleep wrapped in each other’s arms.

I woke up early on Sunday, listening to Damien’s soft snores. Even in that, he was freaking adorable. I kissed his temple and slowly extricated myself from the possessive grip he had on me, padding out to the kitchen to fix breakfast.

It was tough dragging myself away from Damien’s bed.

I’d never had that issue before, and yeah, it was a problem.

I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to sleep alone tonight.

I stared at my reflection in the window over the sink, wondering who the hell was looking back at me.

I looked… happy. The way I did before illness and death changed my family forever.

Part of me wanted to grab my stuff and hit the road, forget last night ever happened, forget anything with Damien happened.

He was right; it was safer that way. But the bigger part of me knew that I was home.

I’d found something with him that was worth the risks we were taking, something worth fighting for.

Ruthless was an attitude when it came to hockey and my family, but now it was about Damien too.

A half hour later, Damien stalked into the kitchen wearing jeans and nothing else, with sleep rumpled hair and marks all over his skin. My marks. God, he was so fucking sexy I couldn’t breathe.

He bypassed coffee, and the omelets I’d cooked, in favor of reaching for me and kissing me senseless.

“Next time, wake me,” he demanded.

“You obviously needed the rest.”

“I’d trade sleep for time with you any fucking day.”

Instead of offering him coffee, or breakfast, I got down on my knees and showed Damien the better way to wake up. Yep, I sucked all the tension out of his body through his cock.

His legs nearly gave out after the blowjob, so I had to help him get seated, which got me a warning look. Retaliation was coming and I couldn’t wait.

I smiled and kissed him harder.

“Why don’t you come with me this aft?” I asked him as we finally sat down to eat.

I didn’t want to leave, and he didn’t want me to go, but I had to pick up Jo and I was anxious to visit my dad.

“And there goes our attempt at being discreet,” he countered.

“It’s my family. Who’re they gonna tell?”

Damien crossed his arms and gave me his coach’s glare. “And you think your dad will approve of us?”

I winced. Dad would be shocked for sure that I was sleeping with my coach. Probably angry. Upset. He didn’t need that kind of stress. Shit, this was complicated. On so many levels.

“Okay, maybe he’ll be concerned,” I continued.

“Silas.”

“But he knows me, and he trusts my judgement. For fuck’s sake, I’ve been Jo’s guardian for two years. I’m not one to jump and look later. I know what I’m doing.”

Damien nudged my shoulder with his.

“I’ll go with you because I’d like to meet your dad, but let’s not say anything. I don’t want to put them in a position to have to deny it later.”

“So, what? We say you happened to be in the area and wanted to stop by?”

“Something like that. I’ve got errands to run anyway. I’ll think of an excuse.”

“All right. But my father and brother know me. I only bring friends like Finn to meet them. They’re going to know something’s up.”

“Speaking of Finn, have you heard from him yet?”

“Nope. I texted him yesterday and again this morning,” I replied. “No response.”

“That worries me.”

“I’m going to give him a call before we take off.”

“Sounds good,” Damien replied and reached for my empty plate.

“Leave that, I’ll clean up.”

“Nope, it’s my turn. House rules,” Damien responded and gave me a resounding kiss. “Go call Finn.”

I headed off to the bedroom and grabbed my phone off the nightstand. I was relieved to see there was finally a message from my friend.

Finn: She got through surgery okay and is back home. Call me?

I tapped on Finn’s contact info and waited anxiously for him to answer.

“Hey, Si.”

“How’s your mom?”

“She’s doing all right. The surgery went without a hitch, and they released her this morning. But it’ll take a week or two to get the biopsy results. We were hoping it would be sooner.”

“Waiting’s the worst part.”

“It is.” He sighed. “Anyway, I’m heading back to Vermont tomorrow morning. My parents insist on it. I feel guilty but right now, there’s nothing else I can do for her. And, honestly, I’d rather be busy at practice than sitting at home driving everyone nuts with my nervous mouth.”

I chuckled. “I’m sure they don’t feel that way. But busy is always good. How’re you doing?”

“I’m still… upset. But I’m hoping for the best. That’s all I can do, right?”

“It is. Try to stay positive. And make sure your family keeps on those doctors. Don’t hesitate to push if you don’t get answers soon. Trust me on this. You’ve gotta advocate for her.”

“I will,” Finn replied. “What are you up to? How was camp on Friday? Did I miss much? Did Damien ride your ass hard?”

Yes, yes he fucking did…

Tell him about Damien.

“You didn’t miss anything. Ethan called in sick, so Damien cancelled the camp.”

“You’re calling him Damien again. What happened to Coach Banning?”

“Well, see?—”

“What’s going on, Silas? And don’t tell me nothing. I’ve known you long enough to know something was up on the ride to the airport Friday. Your voice sounds different. Are you okay?”

“More than okay,” I blurted out. “There is something important, but you need to promise me you won’t say anything to anyone. Promise.”

“I promise.”

“Not even if the news freaks you out?”

“I’ve got your back. Tell me.”

“Damien and I… we slept together.”

The silence on the other end of the line had me wondering if Finn had dropped the phone or hung up.

“Hello? Did you hear what I said?” I asked.

“You had sex with our coach?” Finn’s voice was so loud, I had to pull the phone away from my ear. “I mean, I noticed the tension between you guys, and it made me wonder, but I?—”

“Finn—”

“Having teammates that are dating is shock enough, but now this?” Finn continued. “Wait, you’re not dating Coach. It was sex, right? It’s done?”

“Ah, well not exactly?—”

“Holy shit, it’s more? You’re seeing each other?”

“Yes.”

“You have feelings for him? Like, the real deal?”

“As real as it gets,” I admitted.

“I have no words. No words,” Finn replied.

“And yet I keep talking. Because if I keep talking, I can pretend I didn’t hear what you told me.

Because now, I have to keep something this big a secret.

I mean, you dating a guy isn’t a big deal.

But dating our coach? That’s major. Like, mind exploding major.

I’ll do my best, but you know I’m shit at hiding stuff, and what if?—”

“Breathe, Finn.”

“But you and Banning, this could ruin everything.”

“No, don’t say that. He’s the best thing to happen to me.”

I couldn’t believe the words coming out of my mouth, but it was the damn truth.

My comment was met with silence.

“Finn? Are you still there?”

“I’m here. And I’m happy for you, Si. I am. But you can’t be that na?ve. What happens when people find out? And trust me, someone always finds out.”

“I’ll deal with that when the time comes.”

“Shit answer, my friend. And guess what? Coach is going to get the worst of it.”

I wanted to throw my phone at the wall and scream out loud. This couldn’t be the way. I finally find happiness and it’s got to be tainted already? Or even worse, taken from me, if Damien decided that I wasn’t worth the trouble.

“No one’s going to find out. Not until we’re ready.”

“Si—”

“Please, I know what I’m doing.”

“Do you?”

“Yes. And so does Damien.”

“I trust you, but I’m worried.”

“Not about me. You focus on your mom,” I insisted. “I take care of myself. Always have, always will.”

“What about Damien? Does he take care of you?” Finn asked.

“He does.”

I could hear Finn sighing again. “Man, I hope it’s worth it.”

“He is.”

“Then I’ve got your back. And don’t worry, I’ll keep my lips zipped. Even if I have to use duct tape to do it.”

I chuckled at that image. “Thanks, Finn.”

“But no more shocking news, all right?” he countered. “I need a breather.”

“Got it. Go get some sleep.”

“I need that too.”

“You’re not the only one. I was up all night.”

“Ew, I don’t want to hear about Coach like that. Just no.”

I laughed at Finn’s put-out tone.

“Damien’s fucking hot.”

“He is, but that’s not the point,” Finn added. “Wait, are you at his place?”

“Yep, I stayed over. I like him, Finn,” I confessed. “More than like.”

“I’m speechless. Without speech. Me. No words. None. Done.”

“And yet, you keep talking.”

“I’ve got to go. My dad’s yelling for me. I’ll text you when I arrive tomorrow.”

“You need a lift from the airport?”

“You’ll be at camp already. Tell Coach I’ll be there but an hour late.”

“Will do.”

I hung up and headed for the shower. By the time I was nearly done, Damien joined me. Watching him walk towards me, all long lines and tight muscles, I shivered, despite the heat of the water.

“How’s Finn?” he asked as he stepped into the shower.

“Okay. His mom’s recuperating. Still a wait on the biopsy, though, at least a week or two. He’ll be back tomorrow but an hour late.”

Damien nodded and reached for me.

“I also told him about us. I couldn’t lie to him.”

Damien slid his arms around my waist and notched his head in the curve of my neck. “And?”

“He’s pretty freaked out.”

Damien gave my neck a teasing kiss and worked his way up to my mouth. He was gorgeous any day, but naked, and wet? If I didn’t have the wall to support me, I would’ve fallen on my ass.

“Did you expect anything less?” he murmured.

“No, but I’m not sure I want to tell anyone else,” I grumbled. “I don’t care if other people think this is a mistake. It’s not.”