Page 25

DAMIEN

N o one knew anything, right? They couldn’t tell?

Normally, I walked into the rink, confident and calm, with a plan and a purpose. Today, however, I was like a nervous rookie with an itchy jock, pacing and fretting. When I spotted Silas on the ice, it took every measure of discipline I had to ignore him.

And I was successful.

For a good five minutes.

Until I overheard Ethan’s comment about a crush, and I nearly choked on my coffee.

A crush? Why did that word make me run hot all over?

Instead of letting my dick rule my brain, I got out my tablet and got to work.

In fact, I’d spent half the sleepless night preparing for today.

I added to an already full schedule to ensure there would hardly be any time for me to break with the guys.

And I was going to have lunch in my office this time, by myself, and then join them for our strategy session later.

A little bit of distance was required, especially when a certain blond defenseman was within reach, distracting me like nothing and no one else.

I managed to keep myself in line throughout the morning, but it wasn’t easy.

Especially when Silas made a stunning pass that was worth praising.

I worried that I was somehow giving myself away.

It felt like a light had switched on inside me and now that I was seeing Silas, and me with him, I couldn’t dim anything.

I watched him, intently, and despite his acting cool, I noticed he did the same.

When I paused the game they were playing to offer advice, Silas, of course, gave me attitude.

I wanted to silence his smart replies in a way that wasn’t fit for this rink or my job.

And I had to keep reminding myself that he was my student, one of my players.

That should’ve been warning enough to put an end to this insanity, but the truth was, it felt too damn good to stop.

It didn’t matter that I appeared unaffected on the outside, on the inside I was a fucking mess. My body was hyperaware of Silas in a way I hadn’t been with previous lovers. Not even Eloise. What that meant, I didn’t even want to think about.

I’d skated over so many professional lines that I had no idea where I was going.

After lunch, I met up with the guys in the lounge for our strategy session and two hours later, we headed for the ice again.

By the time four o’clock rolled around, everyone was played out.

Me included. I called an end to the day and headed back to my office to take a breather and check my messages.

And to get advice. I picked up my phone and texted the only person I knew I could count on, the one who would never reveal my secret.

Damien: I’m in trouble here. BIG.

Selwin: What’s going on?

Damien: I crossed the student-teacher line.

Selwin: You mean you and Silas??

Damien: He came to my house last night. We kissed and then he… well, let’s just say that I can confirm I’m bi and not curious. It was incredible.

Selwin: First of all, congrats on your bi awakening. Or reawakening. Second, tell me EVERYTHING.

Damien: This is serious, Sel. I shouldn’t be proud of the fact that I did this. I could lose my job if word gets out.

Selwin: How’s anyone going to know? Silas won’t tell, will he?

Damien: No.

Selwin: And? You both got what you wanted. He’s a consenting adult.

Damien: I’m his coach. That puts me in a position of power, so I think I’m in the wrong here. But you know what’s worse? It wasn’t a one-time thing. I’m seeing him Saturday. I can’t help myself.

Selwin: Whoa, wait. You two are, like, dating? Ugh, bud, I don’t have any advice for that.

Damien: Are you kidding me? You’re the one who encouraged me to do this.

Selwin: Oops?

Damien: When you’re here in three weeks, I’m going to make you run drills until you pass out.

Selwin: My agent won’t like that LOL. But, in all seriousness, this sounds like more than sex. You like him. Silas likes you, too?

Like wasn’t a strong enough word for how I was feeling.

Damien: I’ve never felt like this about anyone. Not even my ex. I’m throwing away the rulebook without thinking twice. Me.

Selwin: Be discreet and let this thing run its course. As long as you’re both mature about it, who are you hurting?

Damien: No one. I guess.

I put my phone down, but I didn’t have any more clarity about the situation I was in.

This was more than one and done, and more than complicated.

Somehow, someway, my stupid heart was involved.

I swore the damn thing froze when Eloise left, and I thought for sure it would never thaw again.

But lo and behold, it was beating again.

All it took was one ruthless defenseman…

Shaking off my unease, I forced myself to work on administrative tasks. With two professional hockey players visiting our training camp this summer came a mountain of related paperwork, including contracts and NDAs.

By five, I was ready to pack up and head for home when there was a sudden knock at my door.

Was it Silas? Not that I was expecting him.

Clearly, he was respecting our boundaries, and I was grateful.

Grateful and frustrated. Then I reminded myself that Saturday, we’d have the night to ourselves.

We could talk, and maybe I’d finally figure out what the hell I was doing.

“Come in!” I yelled out and closed my laptop.

When the door open, it wasn’t Silas standing on the other side, and I couldn’t help but feel totally disappointed.

Jesus, listen to yourself.

Finn stepped into my office and paced back and forth in front of my desk, shoving his hands in his pockets. Something was obviously troubling him.

“Hey, Finn, what’s up?” I asked.

“Um, I just got a phone call from my folks. I’m going to have to skip camp on Friday and fly back home to Nebraska,” Finn replied.

“What’s going on?”

“So, my mom’s having surgery.” Finn shook his head, his face pale. “It’s kind of… unexpected. They found a lump in her neck.”

Oh shit.

“Family and health always come first,” I replied. “You’re only missing one day.”

“They don’t want me to fly home at all and miss any of my hockey training. But I want to be there.”

“Of course. And if you need to skip next week, let me know. We can work something out. You can make up the days when you get back.”

“Thanks, Coach.” Finn exhaled, looking a little calmer. “I appreciate it.”

“Of course. Have a safe trip home. Let me know what happens and when you’re returning, all right?”

“Will do.”

Finn quietly left, and I sat back in my chair.

Fuck, I hope to God his mom didn’t have cancer.

My dad passed from leukemia when he was fifty-one, going from diagnosis to terminal in only eight months.

I’d been twenty-six at the time, rebuilding my life as a new college coach in Washington, when he died.

I was starting to get back up on my feet when grief knocked me right back down again.

Only, his loss was worse than any physical pain I’d endured.

I was so caught up in my memories of the past that I didn’t even hear the knock on my door. Or the door opening again.

“Hey.”

Silas suddenly appeared before me, his anxious expression revealing that he too had heard Finn’s news.

“I talked to Finn,” Silas stated and closed the door behind him. “Can I sit down for a sec?”

“Of course.”

Silas sat in the chair across from me, and I noticed that his hands were shaking. Instead of staying where I was, I got up and rounded the desk, taking the chair beside him.

“You all right?” I asked as I drew close, our knees brushing.

“No. Finn’s news brought back memories of my mom,” Silas admitted. “She went so fast. She had inflammatory breast cancer that was misdiagnosed. Within a matter of months, she was gone.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“I feel for him, Damien. If his mom has cancer?—”

“I know,” I whispered. “I lost my father to leukemia when I was twenty-six. It was horrendous to watch him go through that battle. And it went downhill fast. Trust me, I know.”

“I’m sorry, too.”

“All we can do is hope for the best when it comes to Finn’s mom,” I added. “And we’ll support him whatever the outcome.”

Silas nodded and reached for me, cupping my face. I didn’t have the strength or the heart to pull away. Shivers wracked my body, my breath quickening.

“I’ve been wanting to do this all day,” he admitted, his callused thumb tracing my lips.

Was I worried someone would come barging into my office?

“Everyone else is gone,” Silas offered, as if reading my thoughts.

I turned my face into his palm and kissed it. He inhaled sharply and the flare of heat in his eyes was unmistakable.

“It took every molecule of control I have to stay professional out there,” I confessed. “And I don’t know if I pulled it off.”

“I think we both deserve a trophy for our performance today. No one suspects a thing.”

“That being said, Saturday can’t come fast enough.”

By way of agreeing, Silas pulled me close and took my lips in a scorching kiss, his tongue seeking mine, sucking on it, teasing me until I forgot where I was and why this was a bad idea. But I couldn’t stop. Kissing him was now my complete obsession.

“Let’s not wait another sixteen hours to do that,” he whispered against my lips.

“It’s been seventeen, but who’s counting?” I replied with a grin. “Still, we need to be careful on campus. There’s always the risk that someone could catch us. Even in the quiet of summer.”

Silas nodded and leaned back, licking his lips. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For listening. For talking. And most of all, for that sexy kiss.”

“I should be thanking you.”

“There’s always Saturday.”

He gave me a knowing grin, and I was about to say fuck it and reach for him, when there was a third knock on my door.

“What was I saying?”

I shot up and quickly rounded the desk to sit back in my chair. Silas, however, didn’t move or look concerned in any way. I motioned for him to get going but he sat there and shrugged. There was another knock, louder, and then I heard my friend’s voice on the other side of the door.

“Damien, it’s Dave.”

Dave? What was he doing here? I thought he was on vacation.

“Come on in,” I called out.

I licked my lips, and I could taste Silas. Holy fucking hell. Were my lips swollen? Were Silas’s?

“Oh, hey,” Dave said as he stepped inside. “Didn’t realize you were talking to a student. I can come back later?—”

I felt a flush of heat creep up my cheeks and hoped like hell no one would notice.

“It’s fine, I was leaving,” Silas replied and stood up. Before he left, he turned to me. “Thanks again, Coach. I appreciate the… extra time you give me.”

“No problem,” I offered, my voice hoarse. “My door is always open.”

And my lips were already anticipating the next time.

With a final nod, Silas was gone. I turned to Dave.

“What’s up?” I asked, surprised at how composed I sounded.

Like I didn’t have my tongue down my player’s throat thirty seconds ago.

“I wanted to talk to you about Selwin’s visit,” Dave replied. “Him and… shit, who’s the other player coming?”

“Aleksi Halko from Tampa. Do you mind if we walk and talk?” I suggested. “It’s been a long day, and I was about to head home.”

“Of course.”

I closed my laptop and stuffed it in my backpack, tidied up my desk, and grabbed my keys.

After locking up the office, Dave and I walked down the narrow hallway to the exit.

“I thought you were supposed to be on vacation.”

“I am, technically, but you know how it is.” Dave sighed.

“I never shut down. And Nora is keen on making sure we get as much PR from these visiting hockey pros as we can. I’ve revised the media schedule, and I wanted to review it with you before finalizing.

We can also discuss your role when it comes to the interviews and related photo ops. ”

Dave pushed open the door and the blast of hot summer air greeted me.

“Do you want to grab a bite in town?” he asked.

“Sure. We can at least enjoy a patio while we work,” I replied. “Or you can pass everything over to me and actually take your vacation?”

Dave shook his head. “I think it’s best if I continue to act as the intermediary between you and the school’s press office. They can be a bit much. Fuck, you’ve been copied on all those emails. You can see that it’s a lot.”

“They’ve been intense since the championship win, that’s for sure. But I get it.”

The college world wasn’t that different from the pros. Money was always at the top of the agenda and more attention meant more funding.

“They’re amazing, but the questions never end.” Dave chuckled. “No, I can’t do that to you, D. You’re busy mentoring those players, like Silas, and that’s enough.”

I couldn’t make eye contact with my friend. If Dave knew about me and Silas, he would kick my ass for sure. Suddenly, I had no appetite for dinner anymore.

“I knew what I was getting into,” I admitted, and I wasn’t talking about camp. “Besides, I can deal with the media stuff as long as it’s about hockey. It’s not work; it’s an obsession.”

There was that freaking word again. Obsession. All or nothing, that was me.

“Let’s talk about it over a beer,” Dave replied and nudged my arm. “And you’re buying.”

Dave was right about one thing; one way or another, I was going to pay.