Page 17

DAMIEN

D ane and the rest of the guys kept asking why Silas left early but it wasn’t my place to tell them what was going on.

I said he had a family emergency and left it at that.

Admittedly, I was distracted the rest of the afternoon.

My mind should’ve been focused on my job.

Instead, I was worrying about Silas and his brother.

Like I would be with any of my players.

Right. Sure.

My inability to get my head in the game didn’t begin to describe how fucked up I was.

I looked out for all my players but there was something about Silas that was different.

He challenged me like no one else and made me feel things I had no business feeling.

The professional line was blurring again.

No, that wasn’t right. I had no idea where it was anymore.

Like this morning, and then during lunch when Silas made those porn-worthy moans as he ate. Did he even realize what he was doing? The rational part of me said no fucking way but the teasing glint in his eye told me I needed to be very careful.

It was only day one. How was I going to make it another six weeks?

After another hour on the ice, I called it a day.

When all the guys headed off to the locker room, I texted Dave and suggested we head to Burlington tonight.

I needed a drink, a good meal, and a distraction.

When Dave replied that he already had plans, I let out a groan of frustration.

I thought about asking someone else, but I realized that I didn’t have anyone to ask.

I was friendly with several teachers at the college, but they were off on their summer vacations.

It was time for me to expand my social circle.

I’d been putting all my energy and time into this team, and there was nothing left.

Fuck it. I’d go out by myself. Lots of people did the same. Flying solo wasn’t anything to be ashamed of.

I tapped on my phone and began searching for bars in nearby towns.

Nothing stood out. One place was rated tops for “date night.” Uh, no thanks, I didn’t want to be surrounded by couples in love.

I wanted to sit and enjoy a beer and maybe watch a game.

Or listen to live music, that’d be cool too.

Someplace I’d never been to. Maybe I’d even practice my flirting with a stranger.

Not that I had any game when it came to that anymore, but it was worth trying.

Suddenly I was typing “gay bars,” surprising myself. If Selwin could see me now, he’d be laughing his ass off. Then again, he’d be the first to cheer me along and he’d also love to be my wingman for the night.

What am I doing? I had no freaking clue.

Questions about my sexuality had haunted me since Chicago.

Was it finally time for me to find out if my previous experience with a guy was a one off?

There was only one way to find out for sure.

I searched for queer bars near Burlington and found a few.

One was a dance club, so I gave that a hard pass.

But the second one I found was a pub with great reviews for the atmosphere and the food.

That sounded perfect. I could grab a meal, and it would be an easy drive to get there.

It was far enough away from campus, too, so it was unlikely I’d run into anyone I knew there.

I could get some answers, and who knows? Maybe I’d get lucky too.

Then maybe this intense attraction I had to Silas would finally get the fuck gone.

Resolved, I headed for my office, locked up, and exited the rink to a deserted parking lot. The drive to Burlington gave me enough time to think. Probably too much. I was tempted several times to turn back. Nerves got the best of me, but I kept on driving.

When I finally arrived at my destination, Unicorn I’m surprised I didn’t break it. My hands were shaky, and it took me forever to type out a response.

Damien: What? No. I told you, he’s my student.

Selwin: He’s hot AF and an adult. An adult who eye-fucked you. There was no mistaking it.

Damien: I can’t go there. Come on, Sel, I need to think of my career for fuck’s sake. Imagine if Dave found out? Or worse, the college president?

Selwin: Who says anyone needs to find out?

Damien: I’m heading inside.

Selwin: Text me later. I need to hear ALL the details.

Damien: I doubt they’ll be anything to report. Except me making an ass of myself LOL.

Selwin: I doubt it. Remember, eye contact and a smile. That’s all you need.

Damien: If only things were that easy.

Selwin: Have a beer first, remember to relax, and don’t overthink it.

My jaw clenched so tightly that at this point I was in danger of breaking a tooth…

Damien: Telling someone to relax has the opposite effect, you know that right?

Selwin: The younger guys are going to be all over you. You’ll be fighting them off.

Damien: I doubt that. And I want to ease into this, not jump without a parachute.

Selwin: Stop using your brain and think with your dick. Remember him?

Damien: It’s been years since I did that.

Selwin: Welcome back.

I shoved my phone in the pocket of my jeans and finally eased out of the car.

Either it was warm for June, or I was stress-sweating because my button down stuck uncomfortably to my skin.

Rolling up the sleeves, I checked my reflection in the driver side window and decided I looked fine.

Maybe a bit tired and anxious, but hey, it was what it was.

I popped a breath mint, ran an agitated hand through my hair, and stepped up to the front door of the bar.

When I ventured inside, I was greeted by the noisy hum of conversation and the enticing smell of greasy pub food and beer. Music was playing, but thankfully, at a level that didn’t shatter my eardrums. Two guys in their twenties stood ahead of me in line, holding hands and trading lingering kisses.

And I thought it was hot outside…

The couple was greeted by a host and seated at one of the booths that lined the walls. Since I spotted a couple of empty seats at the bar, I made a beeline for the last stool.

The bartender, a dark-haired guy with big dimples and a cropped tank top, leaned over and gave me a welcoming grin.

“Hey there, what can I get you?”

“I was thinking a pint of a local IPA,” I replied. “What do you recommend?”

“We’ve got a new one for summer called Golden Hour. It’s very smooth with a hit of citrus.”

“Sounds great.”

“I’m Kolt,” he offered with a tip of his head.

“Damien.”

“Haven’t seen you in here before,” he added as he gave me a long once-over. “Not that we’ve been opened that long, but still.”

Nerves that usually took flight during games suddenly washed over me. I was feeling all kinds of awkward and I’m sure it showed.

“First time,” I replied and hoped like hell I wasn’t blushing. “I live in Sutton.”

“Ah, the college town. Are you a teacher or something?”

I nodded. “I coach hockey.”

“Cool.” He tapped the bar. “I’ll be right back.”

So far, so good. I managed to make normal conversation, and I didn’t trip over my tongue.

Looking around, I noticed plenty of attractive guys, although no one caught my attention. Shifting awkwardly, I realized I didn’t even know where to begin. Maybe I couldn’t do this. What was I doing?

I was about to get up and bolt for the door when Kolt returned with my beer.

“You want a menu?” he asked.

I could at least stay for a bite. I had to eat anyway.

“Sure, thanks.”

I took a grateful sip of the crisp IPA, feeling my nerves settle. Slightly.

“So, what brings you here tonight?” Kolt asked as he passed me a paper menu. “Meeting a date?”

“Unfortunately, no. I’m trying to break my usual rut of working, working, and oh yeah, working.”

Kolt’s knowing smile was cute, but I didn’t feel any spark. This would’ve been a perfect time to try out my flirting skills. Unfortunately, they’d retired along with my hockey playing days.

Kolt placed his forearms on the bar and leaned in. “Well, you’ve come to the right place. Great food, friendly staff—if I do say so myself—and lots of sexy guys to talk to.”

I took another sip of my beer before I responded.

“Not sure about the last one,” I confessed. “I’m pretty new to that, too.”

Kolt didn’t look in the least surprised and nodded.

“There’s a first time for everyone.”

“Not exactly,” I muttered. “But close.”

Kolt gave me a wolfish grin.

“Sorry,” I whispered. “I don’t know why I said that out loud.”

“Sure you do. It seems like you want to get something off your chest. Go for it, I’m a good listener. It’s part of the job.”

I took another sip of beer and nodded.

“I was talking to a friend recently and I realized some things. A lot actually,” I confessed. “There’s nothing like having a sexual reawakening at thirty.”

“Awesome,” Kolt replied. “What’s your type? Maybe I can help you out.”

A vision of Silas immediately popped into my mind, and I was speaking before I could stop myself.

“Athletic, tatts, and an attitude that challenges me.”

Kolt chuckled. “That sounds remarkably precise.”

I shrugged. “I’m sure lots of guys fit that bill.”

“Right,” Kolt added as he leaned in closer. “So, tell me about this guy you’re crushing on.”

I shook my head.

“I’ll need another beer first.”