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CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR

GARRET

Jade climbs out of bed and stumbles to the floor, crawling back to the bathroom, barely making it there in time. She’s really sick. I never get sick like this, but Lilly’s had the flu a few times so I’m familiar with the symptoms. When Lilly had the flu, I had to take care of her because Katherine refuses to be around sick people, especially if it involves vomit. I don’t like vomit either, but you just have to get over it. Besides, it’s way worse for the person who’s actually vomiting.

Back when Lilly had the flu, Katherine wanted to hire a nurse to take care of her. I didn’t want some stranger taking care of my sister when she was sick, so my dad and I took care of her and Katherine kept her distance. What kind of mother doesn’t take care of her sick kid? Jade’s mom didn’t take care of her either when she was sick. I don’t understand it.

Jade’s now crumpled in a heap on the bathroom floor. The place reeks and I need to get her out of here. I take her back to the bed, then wet the washcloth again and place it over her forehead. Her skin is scorching hot and yet she’s shaking and shivering and her teeth are chattering. Lilly was never this sick but I’ve heard the flu can sometimes be worse for adults.

I get her pajamas from the drawer and put them on her. Then I cover her with blankets and keep watch over her. She gets sick every hour for the rest of the night.

Now it’s 9 in the morning and she’s gone almost two hours without a trip to the bathroom. She can’t possibly have anything left in her stomach. During the night I kept trying to get her to drink water so she wouldn’t get dehydrated but the water came right back up.

The alarm goes off. I don’t know why it’s going off on a Sunday. I reach over and turn it off.

“Garret?” Jade’s voice is hoarse. She reaches over trying to find me.

“I’m right here.” I move over a little.

She rests her head on my stomach, and curls herself into a ball. “Thank you. For staying.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” I move the damp strands of hair off her cheek. “I’m taking care of you. I’m not going anywhere.”

“She always left.” Jade says it softly, in almost a whisper. “She never stayed.”

“I know. But I’m not her.”

Jade’s talking about her mom. The last time Jade had the flu was when her mom was alive. Her mom used to get mad at her for getting sick, like it was Jade’s fault. She’d force Jade to stay in her room with the door closed until she was better. And if Jade had the stomach flu like she has now, she had to clean the bathroom if she made a mess. Her mom would yell at her until she did it.

I guess that’s why Jade didn’t come and get me on the couch last night. She probably thought I’d get mad at her or yell at her. Jade still has irrational thoughts like that. She thinks I’ll treat her like her mom did. It makes no sense, but then again, I didn’t have that kind of traumatic childhood so I can’t really understand where her head is sometimes.

“Will you stay here until you have class?” she whispers.

“I’m not going to class. It’s Sunday.”

She lifts her head. “It is?”

“Yeah.” I feel her face. It’s still burning hot. “And if you’re like this tomorrow I’m not going to class.”

She mumbles something, then her head drops down on my stomach again and she falls asleep.

Her phone is on the nightstand and I pick it up and see several messages from Sara. I normally wouldn’t check Jade’s phone but Sara doesn’t usually send this many messages so I’m wondering if she needs something. I check the first message. It says she’s sick and that it might be contagious. The next message says the flu was going around at Caleb’s day care and that he’s sick, too. Then the other messages are all Sara asking Jade to call her because she’ll feel terrible if Jade’s sick.

So that explains it. Jade must’ve got sick when Caleb and Sara were here the other night. It takes a few days before it hits so the timing is right.

I put the phone back on the nightstand and let myself sleep a little.

When I wake up three hours later, Jade hasn’t moved, which means she hasn’t been sick for a few hours now.

I need to use the bathroom so I try to gently slide her head off me but she wakes up. “Are you leaving?”

“Just to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

The bathroom is a mess but I’ll clean it up later.

When I get back in bed, Jade lays her head on my chest and says, “I really wanted pancakes today. And now I can’t have them.”

“We’ll have them next week. I won’t even charge you for them.”

“That’s why I wanted them,” she says weakly. “I wanted to pay for them.”

I smile. “You did?”

“Yeah.” She tilts her head up and looks at me. A tear’s running down her cheek. “I miss you.”

I wipe the tear away with my thumb. Her skin is still so hot. “Jade, why are you crying?”

“Because my whole body hurts really bad. And because. . .” More tears trail down her face.

“What, Jade?”

She gazes down at the blanket. “Because I’m a mess. Everything’s a mess and I don’t know what to do.”

“What’s a mess? What are you talking about?”

“My classes. My major. I’m stressing out, Garret.”

“I know you are. We’re going to work on that, okay?”

She nods. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You’ll never lose me. Don’t even think that.”

“I never see you anymore. All I do is study and I still can’t keep up.”

“Which is why I think you need to drop a class. You’re killing yourself trying to keep up and you’re not having any fun. This is college. You should be having at least a little fun.”

She looks up at me again. “You’d let me drop a class?”

“ Let you? Jade, you don’t need my permission to drop a class.”

“But it means I failed. It means I’m not smart enough.”

“That’s not at all what it means. Everyone drops classes. It doesn’t mean they’re not smart enough. They’re just balancing their class load better. Sometimes you sign up for a class and you don’t know how much work it’ll be until you’re in it.”

“You’re not mad? I thought you’d be mad.”

I don’t know why the hell she thinks this way. I seriously don’t. I rarely get mad at her and I definitely wouldn’t get mad at her for dropping a class. This is what I mean when I say she still needs to deal with stuff from her childhood. Everything she did made her mom mad. Even the tiniest things. So then she thinks I’ll react the same way, even though she knows it’s not true.

“Jade, I would never get mad about that. I don’t like seeing you so stressed out all the time. You don’t eat right. You don’t sleep. And now you’re sick. So the decision’s made. You’re dropping a class.”

She groans and rolls onto her back. “I think I might be dying. I don’t remember ever feeling this bad. Every part of me hurts.”

“You think you can drink some water now? Because you need to. You’re really dehydrated and if you keep throwing up, I’m taking you to the hospital.”

“I’ll try to drink some.”

I go in the kitchen and get some water and bring it to her. She takes two tiny sips.

“You need to drink more than that.”

She shakes her head. “That’s all I can do. I’ll try again later.”

“You should go to sleep. I’ll wake you up in an hour to drink some more.”

“Can you stay? Please?”

I wanted to take a shower but she sounds so desperate for me to stay that I get back in bed with her.

She lays on me. “Garret?”

“What?” I lightly rub her back.

“I’m so sorry I’ve been mean to you.”

“You weren’t mean. You were just tired and stressed out from class.”

“I need to fix this. And I need help. I need you to help me.”

“You know I will. Whatever you need.”

“We’ll talk later?” Her eyes are shutting.

“Yeah, we’ll talk later. Get some sleep.”

I’m so relieved Jade finally admitted she’s struggling with her classes and is willing to do something about it. And given how stressed she’s been, I think she’s struggling with other stuff, too. I’ve been trying to get her to talk to me for weeks but she wouldn’t. Maybe now, or when she feels better, she’ll finally tell me what’s going on.

In the afternoon, I try to get Jade to eat some crackers and she does, but they come right back up. Looks like we’ll be sticking with liquids for now.

When Jade falls asleep again, I call Grace to ask her what else I should be doing for Jade. I didn’t know who else to ask. My dad doesn’t know about this stuff and I don’t think Frank and Ryan would either. Grace raised two kids and I’m sure they got sick so I figure she knows what to do.

“Hi, Grace. It’s Garret.”

“Garret, this is a surprise. Usually Jade’s the one who calls.”

“Yeah, she’s sick. That’s why I’m calling. Sorry, I should ask how you’re doing. How are you doing, Grace?”

She laughs. “I’m doing well. Thank you. So Jade is sick?”

“She has the flu and I’m not sure what to do for her. I’m trying to keep water in her but she can’t eat and she has a high fever and chills. I figured since you’re a mom you might have some experience with this.”

“I’ve had a lot of experience with it, with my sons as well as my granddaughters.”

Grace goes through a list of things I should try. I take notes as she talks. I’m glad I called her. She knows a lot more than I do about this and I trust her advice more than I trust the advice on the Internet.

“Thanks,” I say when she’s done. “I’ll try that stuff and hopefully she’ll feel better.”

“You have to let it run its course but this will help with the symptoms. So how have you been, Garret?”

“I’m okay.”

“Garret.” She says it like she knows I’m lying. I barely know Grace but sometimes I think she understands me better than my own family does.

“Things have been a little stressful around here. Jade’s classes are taking up all her time and there was a burglary at a house just a few down from ours.”

“And your father told me about your shoulder.”

“Yeah, there’s that, too.”

“Jade hasn’t called me for a while. Is it because of her school work?”

“Yeah, she’s feeling overwhelmed with everything. I think she took too many classes this semester.”

“Is there any way I can help? I’m not sure what I could do, but if you think of anything, please let me know.”

“Actually, is there any way you could make it out here for her birthday? Frank and Ryan will be here so I’m planning to have a small party for her.”

“I would love to be there. Thank you for inviting me.”

“It would be great if you could spend the weekend. I know Jade would like that.”

“I’ll plan to arrive Friday morning and leave Sunday afternoon. Does that work?”

“Sounds perfect. Maybe we should make this a surprise.”

“Yes, I think that would be nice.”

“Great. Well, I should go check on Jade.”

“I know I’ve said this before, but you’re a nice young man, Garret. We should talk more. You should at least get on the phone when Jade calls me so I can say hello.”

“Okay, I will.”

“Tell Jade I hope she feels better soon. Have her call me when she does.”

We say goodbye and I quietly walk back into the bedroom. Jade’s huddled up in the blankets, shivering. I feel so bad for her.

“I’m so cold,” she says, her teeth chattering.

I feel her forehead. She’s still burning up.

“I just talked to Grace and she gave me some things to try that might make you feel better.”

“You talked to Grace?”

“Yeah, I called her and she gave me a list of stuff to get, so I need to go to the store.”

“Can you wait until tomorrow? I don’t want you to leave. I seriously think I might be dying here.”

“You’re not dying. It just feels like it. Oh, I forgot to tell you that Sara and Caleb also have the flu.”

“Did I give it to them? I hope not.”

“You didn’t. It’s going around. Caleb’s day care had it last week and Camsburg sent out an announcement saying half the campus has it now. Two of your classes and one of mine are canceled tomorrow because the professors are sick.”

“Why aren’t you sick?” She’s curled up in a ball and her eyes are struggling to stay open.

“I don’t get sick. I did when I was a kid but I don’t anymore. I haven’t been sick since I was 15. I must have a strong immune system.”

She’s not listening. I think she’s falling asleep.

“Jade, I’m gonna run to the store.“

“I don’t want to be alone,” she mumbles.

I get up from the bed. “I won’t be gone long.”

“It’s worse when you’re alone,” she whispers, her eyes now closed.

“What’s worse?”

“Sick, alone, nobody would help.” Her eyes are still closed and I’m not sure if she even knows what she’s saying. “I wanted to die.”

She says it quietly, but I hear every word. And it kills me to hear those words. I wish I could take away her past. Get rid of those memories she still holds on to.

She’s shivering again so I pull the blanket over her.

“It’s worse when you’re alone.” She says it in just the faintest whisper.

I take my phone out, keeping my eyes on her as I walk to the other side of the room.

I call Dylan. “Hey. It’s Garret. I know we don’t know each other that well but I’m wondering if you could do me a favor.” He agrees and I read off the list of stuff I need.

Then I get back in bed. “I’m right here, Jade.” I lean down and kiss her forehead. “You’re not alone.”